![]() |
the ivory tower is coming down - Printable Version +- Court of the Fallen (https://cotf-rpg.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=26) +--- Forum: Important (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=27) +---- Forum: Archives (https://cotf-rpg.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=38) +---- Thread: the ivory tower is coming down (/showthread.php?tid=2987) |
the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-23-2020 Takes place directly after seconds, and first steps. The sand was cold beneath his bare feet. Ronin didn't remember getting to the beach - he didn't think to look behind him, or ahead. The feeling of a little hand gripping his own was still there, lingering like a ghost, and the storm continued to churn within. Above him he knew the stars were shining. Laughing, he thought, if he stared up at them too hard. Closing his eyes didn't help; Safrin's smug smile waited for him there, interspersed with the trust on Seren's face and the small but oh so significant similarities to another little girl that Ronin had once cared for. He had not, of course, abandoned his new daughter in Haulani. His projection stayed there with her, a silent guardian as she slept, while he... While... Breath hitching in his chest, Ronin suddenly found himself overcome with nausea, and his wavering footprints in the sand meandered to a nearby palm tree. Holding onto the rough bark as if it were a lifeline, there was very little in the Dark Star to throw up, but he was sick all the same, coughing and retching until the convulsions in his stomach calmed to something a little more manageable. Something else came in its wake, however, and Ronin felt it just the same as he had back in the Temple, only this time it was between him and the beach. It built, a fire searing inside him begging for release. And when the supernova did rip from him in a blast of celestial light that briefly illuminated the beach, it was accompanied by a sound Ronin had never heard from himself. Tearing from his throat came a roar of something inhuman, of fury and confusion, of pain and betrayal. And when it was gone and silent, he felt so, so small. So insignificant, this plaything of the gods, with a hole punched through his chest where his daughter used to be. And now he was expected to... She just wanted him to... Had threatened that... Ronin made it a few steps further down the beach before he gave up, slumping in the sand with his eyes on the sea. [say]Remi...[/say] He called for his counterpart on autopilot, his tone soft and sad, and he had no idea if the alchemist would even hear him. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-23-2020 [say]"Shut up, it's late. Or...early. Either, way shut u—"[/say] Remi pawed at the space where Ronin ought to have been, meaning to playfully pinch his husband's lips shut and then cuddle him close. Finding only empty space and cold sheets (meaning not only that Ronin wasn't there, but that he hadn't been for some time), flushed all sleep from the alchemist's mind. Clambering for the door and not bothering to put on a shirt or pants, Remi exited the wagon wearing only underwear adorned with stars and dragons. With Ronin in his thoughts now and with eyes shifted to predatory amber that he might see in the dark, it was all too easy for the alchemist to spot the crumpled shape on the beach. Stomach tight with fear and his muscles singing with adrenaline, Remi felt like he could run forever to reach Ronin. Luckily it wouldn't take that long, and soon the alchemist was digging his heels into the sand and skidding to a stop at the hunter's side. Breathless, but not because of physical exertion, Remi dropped to his knees, his hands going to Ronin's cheeks to lift his husband's face. He didn't bother with stupid questions like what happened, or what's wrong? The answers would come. For now, he only needed to see the blue of Ronin's eyes, to see that it was Ronin looking back at him. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-23-2020 It felt like drowning, to stare so deeply into the sea, and only when Remi's hands came to clasp at his cheeks did Ronin realise that his eyes were wet with tears, too. He didn't want to look up at his husband, didn't want the comfort of his touch even though it was something he had desperately sought out. Shame and guilt vibrated through their mental link, and Ronin lifted his gaze reluctantly, showing Remi the storm that danced behind his eyes. His throat had tightened around any words he wanted to say, and whilst he had no idea what their tether was capable of, he only stood a chance of explaining things through that bond. A rough, cold hand came up to rest over one of Remi's, and the Dark Star hitched in a breath. [say]Don't be kind to me. I don't deserve it,[/say] he said, his mental voice no less tumultuous than his exterior. [say]Safrin woke me... I went to the lighthouse. A star fell...[/say] He shook his head, as if he still didn't believe it, and images of the encounter flashed through his mind, along with the horror and grief of what had come with it. [say]She said I have a daughter. Another one. And she handed her to me to take care of.[/say] But oh, it was so much more than that, and the floodgates were open to Remi and any other poor Attuned in the area. It felt like his chest was caving in, like Aoife was dead, small and frail on the sand all over again, but Ronin wasn't allowed to break this time. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 Shame and guilt...these were things the alchemist had felt from the Star before. Perhaps not so keenly as he did now, but there was nothing intrinsic to the emotions that could have predicted what was to come. Fingers tight against Ronin's ashen and cool cheeks, Remi offered his husband a wavery smile, knowing it was nothing more than a candle during a gale, but knowing it would last just the same. The question of whether it would be enough had been tested time and time again with the pair, more lately than ever before, and the alchemist had no doubt it would weather this particular storm. [say]Shut it, you.[/say] Remi chuckled back, the chill of the Star's hand quickening the pace of Remi's heart as he stared into eyes that were far too tumultuous a blue. Safrin woke me.. Remi's jaw clenched and his mouth went dry. Images flickered through the bond, and though imagery was not always guaranteed, enough of the emotion slipped through to paint a fairly accurate picture. The alchemist could hear the blood in his ears so loudly he thought perhaps the sea had gone silent. His skin went clammy and cold such that Ronin's touch was suddenly gone. She said I... The roaring turned to a buzz and all there was for Remi to see was blue. ...I have a .. Gods how he loved this man an impossible amount. ..a daughter. Remi felt his heart lurch in his chest, his stomach muscles tighten as a shiver wracked through him. It might have been from the Leafchange chill and his lack of clothes, but of course it wasn't. The dream that wasn't a dream had produced a daughter, but not for him. The alchemist squeezed his eyes closed, falling back from his heels hard into the sand. He tried to keep his hands on some part of Ronin—knees perhaps—but everything felt cold and far away. Looking down numbly and mutely at the mass of scar tissue on his chest, Remi stared at it blankly, as if expecting to feel the warm rush of Aoife's blood there all over again. He'd loved that little girl with everything he had. Everything he'd done had been for her, and he'd nearly lost it all when she was taken. He damned Ronin on these very sands for daring to place her life in his undeserving hands that it might be taken away, and even all these months later, he'd never forgive Ronin that. [say]"Ro—"[/say] He tried, but his lips were dry and cold. [say]I can't. Not again.[/say] RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-24-2020 Remi's smiles and touches and reassurance were simultaneously everything he needed and also nothing that he felt he should be allowed, and Ronin was caught in the tide of it all. He could only shake his head at the other man; Remi didn't understand yet, didn't know what was going on. Everything would change in only a few seconds, and as he watched the colour drain from his husband's face, he had to swallow down a sob. The alchemist slumped back on the sand, and whilst Ronin could feel the other man's cold fingers splayed upon his knee, everything felt like it was sliding away, into the yawning black of whatever came next after this. [say]I know.[/say] His mental voice was whispered, and he rubbed at his eyes. [say]I would never expect you to... I never wanted...[/say] Another child. To ever put us in this position. Anything but what we were building together here. But here Seren was, and denying her existence didn't make her disappear. [say]I understand if you don't want to be around me. I can go, I just... I needed to see you. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 [say]"Don't."[/say] Remi growled in a voice reminiscent of gravel underfoot. His anger wasn't directed at the Star so much as the situation, and he'd be damned if Safrin was the one to tear he and Ronin apart. That was for them to do if it ever came to that. But then again...it was impossible to think they weren't to blame here. [say]You're sure she's yours?[/say] The words were flat, Remi's accent hardly giving them any colour at all. The alchemist's eyes stared unseeing down at the sand, at the way their feet pressed it up in delicate mounds. How easy it would be to walk into the sea and never come out. To vanish into the sky and carve out some part of a new land with the hope that there wouldn't be a portal there, that they might finally outrun their pasts. The worst part of it was, the part that cut bitterly to the quick, was that if Remi asked it of Ronin, he was quite sure his partner would say yes. Abandon her. Who cares. Let's defy the gods and run away, for however long we can. Ronin, gods love him, would probably agree in a heartbeat. Perhaps that was the cruellest part of all of this: whatever goodness had been carved out by Aoife's death was not enough. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-24-2020 Ronin flinched at the sound of Remi’s voice, unexpectedly grating in the still night air, and he forced his eyes down and away from his husband. For the hunter there was no question as to who was to blame - this was entirely on Ronin’s shoulders and his alone, and whatever happened as a consequence was not something he had any right to complain about. Still, he couldn’t make himself speak. [say]I’m certain. She looks...[/say] He shook his head, not at all wanting to finish his sentence. Because unlike his husband, Ronin did not think he would say yes. He did not think he would abandon the girl, much as it would tear him into pieces to do so. But that was exactly why he imagined Safrin had chosen him. [say]Remi, I can’t...[/say] What was Ronin even trying to say? What did he want or need or want to give to the other man? Fuck if he knew, and he shook his head uselessly in his misery. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 It wasn't fair to expect Ronin to be faithful in his dreams. It wasn't fair to expect that of anyone, and yet in the moment, Remi was bitter, and hurt, and angry. Biting down on the inside of his cheek, his misery and upset as palpable and copper-bright as the blood now forming against his tongue, the alchemist raked his fingers through his hair. Barking a sound that was between a scream and a sob, Remi rose and stormed towards the edge of the ocean. How COULD you, he wanted to scream. But of course, the answer was obvious. Ronin hadn't though it real. That it had been a dream. But WHY. Because she was a goddess, and beautiful in ways the alchemist never could be. Because she'd been present when he hadn't. Was it WORTH IT. But no, of course Ronin would say it wasn't. Gods Remi wished he had a leg to stand on here, a way to justify his disappointment, his fury, his undescribable hurt. A weapon with which to lash out against Ronin if only to ease the suffering he felt. But he didn't, and so he took it out on the sea. Mounds of sand rose up from beneath the lapping waves, only to be decimated by blasts of water made icy-cold by magic. Roaring with vocal chords entirely inhuman, Remi continued to assault the landscape in every way he could: the sea boiled and appeared to turn red as blood. All animals within the area would be compelled away, squeaking and squeaking unhappily into the night. The sand turned hard and spiked, rising up into pillars only to be flung out towards the stars. The worst of it was, powerful as Remi had become, none of this was particularly taxing. And so rather than sinking back down to his knees, weak and exhausted and perhaps slightly satisfied by this tantrum, when finally Remi ceased his vengeance, he just felt all the more empty for it. Goosebumps scattered up his bare torso as he bowed his head, gripping the sand in his fingers. [say]What is her name?[/say] He asked in that same dull tone. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-24-2020 Ronin sensed Remi getting to his feet and glanced up only to see the alchemist marching out towards the shore. He sat in the sand, thoroughly useless and barely reacting as the violence and chaos was wrought upon the ocean. As pillars and spikes of sand rose and fell, as the waves churned with it, as Remi roared his frustrations out upon the very land itself. Because what the fuck could he do? It was done, finished, and there was no taking it back now. [say]Safrin called her Seren,[/say] he told Remi softly. [say]She’s in Haulani, in Sunjata’s boxing ring. Until I can figure out what to do next.[/say] And by the seeming of things, he would be alone in that task. [say]”I’m sorry.”[/say] He choked the words out, raking his hair out of his face. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 Seren. All Remi could taste in his mouth was blood and bitterness. It would be so much easier to turn his anger on Ronin, to bury him beneath the magnitude of his magic and be done with entanglements of the heart altogether. Instead, the alchemist merely looked softly over his shoulder. [say]"You left a baby...alone at the boxing ring?"[/say] He didn't acknowledge the apology. Couldn't, really. You only apologized for things you had control over RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-24-2020 [say]”She isn’t a baby,”[/say] he muttered, pinching at the bridge of his nose as if that would help him to focus. [say]”She’s a child. Walking, talking... she arrived as a child. Safrin told her she would be staying with me.”[/say] Because that made sense. A fresh wave of fury seized him, and he clenched his fists hard to avoid any further outbursts of his own. [say]”And she isn’t alone, I’m with her.”[/say] Weird as it was to say, those sorts of things were possible when one returned from the dead as a demigod. [say]”I told Safrin that I hated her,”[/say] he confessed. [say]”I said after LongNight I was done with her. She threatened me.”[/say] And there wasn’t a damned thing he could do, really, to escape her. RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 Not a baby. Well. Actually, that eased something inside of Remi. He'd been picturing the long nights associated with raising young children, hearing her cries and having to fetch bottles and such as he'd done with Aoife. [say]"Well, you are her father."[/say] Remi couldn't help but mutter in response to that, but his bitterness was empty. Raising a brow at the notion Ronin was with her, before Remi's mind caught up, Remi turned to face his husband, leaning back on his heels. [say]'Done with her?"[/say] The alchemist barked a laugh. [say]"I'm sure that went over well."[/say] He clenched his jaw, his anger so easily displaced just now that it was so tempting to berate Ronin. Biting down on the words he wanted to scream in vengeance, he instead pulled in a long and slow breath. [say]"So...what now."[/say] RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Ronin - 03-24-2020 Something dark and twisted churned inside Ronin at the snippy remark from Remi; he knew he was her father, having lived through the whole unhappy evening of it. [say]"I'd prefer if you just screamed at me than this,"[/say] he muttered. His partner might be trying to contain himself, but what did slip through was either muted or barbed, and none of it felt at all authentic. At least if Ronin got to see the way he knew Remi was feeling, instead of watching him try to hide it, then... Then what? Would that really make it any better. [say]"Oh you know. Promises that she would darken my soul to something unrecognisable, the usual,"[/say] he muttered. [say]"I don't know what now. I came to see you to try and figure that out. I don't want this to..."[/say] Affect you? Change things between us? Both were laughable. [say]"I should probably go back."[/say] RE: the ivory tower is coming down - Remi - 03-24-2020 [say]"There's nothing to scream about. It's already done."[/say] And gods if that wasn't just the fucking worst of it. Shooting Ronin and unimpressed stare though he understood the Star's bitterness, Remi shook his head once. It was enough to have this dumped upon him; Remi hadn't the strength to endure Ronin's casual quips about being smitten or blackened or whatever else Safrin might do. The alchemist felt the buzzing in his ears return at the lull. The gulf that was the silence between I don't want this to... and whatever was on the other side. Only there was no other side. This was a hellish free-fall in Safrin's space where wings and clouds were useless. [say]"Not yet?"[/say] The alchemist's voice was small. [say]"If you think she needs you then yes of course but...if you can stay.."[/say] Extending a hand to Ronin and shuffling towards him on the sands, Remi sought the touch of something real and permanent at least in this moment. |