Self-interest is divine
Amalia
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
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#29
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
"And what did she have to say about it? Being in Mort's realm?" Was she having a good time? felt a little reductive, but it was basically what he meant. Though he had no doubt the grandmother of the Shield of Safrin would be well cared for in the afterlife of the Old Gods.

They'd slipped back into interrogating each other, hackles raised and irritation obvious in their words. Sam sighed, shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. The Voice won't tell me everything yet - she reveals things slowly...much like the Old Gods, I suppose. But I think it had something to do with it." He was sure Amalia would take this as an admission of defeat, but he believed eventually The Voice would provide a good explanation of the final resting place for his family.

"Mmm...I still don't want to go to Mort, though. I've never felt any love from the Old Gods and frankly...I don't want to be in their afterlife. Why is not alright for both to exist? For the Ascended to go where we wish, and for those that want to to go to Mort's realm? Why do The Voice's options always have to be destroyed in favour of the Old Gods?"
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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MP: 2580
#30
until i'm ready, let me be
"That she was happy." She doesn't say more - her mouth clamping shut, her teeth coming together, the moment and memory too much to bear on top of everything, everything else.

"What about the dead Ascendeds? The ones who died in the Spire? Would the Voice let you speak to them?" At least her gods have proven something, while all he has to say about the Voice is further evidence she's obfuscated the truth. That the Voice won't tell him anything everything makes Amalia roll her eyes; she can't help it, already irritated again.

Why anyone wouldn't want to go to Mort's realm is beyond her. It also isn't the point. "Shouldn't you at least get to know? To make the decision - Mort or the Voice - don't you want to know what it will mean?" She runs her hand through her gold hair, the stubs of lilac horns appearing on her forehead.
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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MP: 0
#31
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
'Happy' did not mean much. Sam was sure most people that had followed the Old Gods would claim to be happy when finally in their deitie's realm. Besides, as much as he was trying to be kind and understanding to Amalia's view, he could not be entirely sure she was telling the full truth.

Of course, she could not be sure of that from him either. "No, but I have never asked to. Perhaps I will, next time I see her. I will tell you what she says." Hopefully Amalia would see it was reasonable for him to have never seen a dead Ascended soul when he had never expressed a wish to.

"Shouldn't you have the decision?" He automatically turned the question back to her, but then paused and sighed, tried to formulate a less antagonist answer. "I am sure by the time I do die, I will know where I am going and I will be happy in it. So far, the Voice had always cared for me, looked after me, healed me when I needed it - why would she abandon me upon death?"
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#32
until i'm ready, let me be
She's growing more frustrated by the minute - with him, with herself, with this whole situation. They can argue each other in circles until the sun comes up, and then what? Neither will have changed their minds.

Biting firmly on her lips, Amalia turns her head from Sam. The weariness is returned to her face; shaking her head as he speaks, she reaches out for the letter again. It feels so heavy in her hands, so dry against her fingers- so meaningful, but meaningless, too.

"Sam..." Trailing off Amalia sighs, staring down at the paper on her lap. "Do you think... Do you think we'll ever have a relationship? Do you think we'll ever be able to, to actually talk? And be a... A fam... Or whatever? Or will the gods always be in the way?"
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#33
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
Clearly, this was not going well anymore. They'd both retreated back to their own camps, were just throwing rocks at each other out the window now, truce dropped. The irritation on Amalia's face matched Sam's own and he looked away too, to stare down at the floor. Few people managed to annoy Sam rather than upset or scare him, but Amalia had done it in the way only family could; bickering like siblings already, he supposed.

Her question made him sigh, made him wish he wasn't having this conversation because of how difficult it was. "Do you want that...? I mean...I talk to Jigano still, and we disagree on this. I think we'd have to see if we have anything in common, you know, in our everyday lives. When we aren't talking about the Gods."
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#34
until i'm ready, let me be
Does she want that? To be a family- to have a family again, one forged in blood and shared experience? Of course she wants it. Why else would she be trying now to find common ground, impossible as it may seem?

But does he want her? That she doesn't know. Dysfunctional as the lot may be, the Wordsworths already are a family, and Amalia isn't part of that. She's an accident, an interloper, possibly one of many. Something curls and boils in her chest, pushing up into her throat; it will be easy for Sam to read the anxiety in the way she begins to fidget and fret, fingers pulling at each other, her lip sucked in between her teeth.

She doesn't look at Sam when she speaks, her voice hoarser than she'd like it to be. "Do... Do you want it? To... To try?"
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
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#35
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
Clearly they'd struck onto something difficult for Amalia to talk about, from the way her features shifted from the irritation at Theological differences into something that looked more simply upset, sad. Sam felt some of the frustration in his chest melt away watching her, recognised that look from his own sleepless nights.

"...Yes. After all, I've never had a good family. I'm only just starting to make good with Evie. We...none of us have had an easy time. We might need eachother for further things to come." Weakly, he smiled at her. "Even if thats killing each other through bickering."
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#36
until i'm ready, let me be
Yes. It hurts to hear that single word, hurts like a brand on her heart, a beautiful burning hope and terror as she looks at Sam - her brother - speechless and wide-eyed and flush with wonder. "Really?" she whispers, utterly disbelieving, her lashes fluttering in bright surprise.

She is wanted, despite it all. What a strange and novel thought.

And Evie- "We have to tell Evie!" Her eyes grow wide at this, excitement brightening her angular face. Straightening up a little, Amalia begins to feel some amount of hope in this situation for the first time. "Do... do you think she'll be glad? That it... that this will work? I don't.... I don't know how to be a sister. But I want to try. Despite... everything."
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#37
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
Amalia's rather flustered, pleased reaction surprised him, but Sam found himself smiling too, nodding. "Yes, of course, I...I would like to try." At least he could be honest about that - he and Amalia had enough differences to fill several books, but he did genuinely want to try and be a family with her.

"I'm sure Evie will be happy. ...I'm sure she'll find it easier than me, actually." He laughed, more self-deprecating than anything else, knowing his sister was far more fluid in social situations than himself. "To be a sister...well, I'm sure it's much the same as being a brother, or a friend, or...anything. You have to work out what it means for you." Sam had certainly had to redefine his ideas of social roles over the years.
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#38
until i'm ready, let me be
She winces at his laugh and joke, acutely aware of the truth behind the statement. She has always been close to Evie, after all; learning they're sisters makes a certain kind of sense that learning she is family with Sam simply and utterly does not. Amalia fidgets with the letter in her hands, turning it over and playing with a rip in the edge of the paper. "I don't have a lot of friends," she admits. "Or, I didn't- not for a long time. And even now I'm not sure I'm very good at it."

If being a sister is like being a friend, is she doomed to fail from the start? She was barely even an adequate daughter, and she spent her whole life practicing that. Swallowing nervously, the flushed baker half-smiles, glancing at Sam from lowered lashes. "I'll try, though. And if I mess up, I guess... let me know."
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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MP: 0
#39
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
"I haven't either." Sam assured her, this comparison between them actually making him wonder if they were more similar than he had first thought; on different theological teams, but both socially awkward dorks desperate for approval from a deity in the place of some other, lacking cosmic purpose.

They had both thoroughly messed up, if the intention had been to be friends...but maybe this was a chance for a new start. Sam nodded, gave her a soft smile. "I suppose I will say the same to you. I'm..hardly good at talking to people."
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#40
until i'm ready, let me be
"You're better than you were." Another small smile, a memory returning, though not without a little chagrin - she should have noticed, should have asked, but they were never friends. Even as children they never sat down and talked, never shared dreams or played or fought. They were two islands adrift in a stream, the life of the Hollowed Grounds flowing around and touching them both but somehow never drawing them to each other.

"You were always so quiet." Leaning forward on her elbows, she looks up at Sam through nostalgic eyes. "I always thought you were so... distant. And smart. And maybe you thought that the rest of us were just silly children. And maybe we were." She shrugs, a quirk to her lips.
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#41
You know I still like you the most
The best of the best
He nodded - he was better, even with all the struggles he still faced. There were people who cared about him now, even if he'd never understand why; he'd even lost some of them and had still been able to continue, find more.

"...I had to be quiet, to survive." Sam explained carefully, not meeting Amalia's eyes. "I wanted to be friends with everyone badly. But I...had to watch myself. To make sure I didn't step out of line. It was best to be...silent. Invisible, almost." He laughed, no real humour in the sound, and his hands faded away.
and the worst of the worst
You'll always be my favorite ghost
SAMuEL
Base Code by Sky!
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#42
until i'm ready, let me be
She almost misses the way his hands fade, never having actually witnessed (or noticed) him becoming ethereal before. Instead she focuses on his words, the sting of them, remembering the last time he confessed his past to her and the cruel dismissal she met him with. She'd made a mistake, then, too caught up in the wars of larger beings to focus on the struggles going on around her.

She'd been blind to him for so many years, but she doesn't want to let him fade away again.

Instinctively, unthinking, she reaches for his hands, grasping with a ferocity usually reserved for those she cherishes, those she loves. Peering up into Sam's face, Amalia's expression is almost more feline than human. "You don't have to be quiet anymore," she promises, even while she knows that she will likely always be his loudest detractor. "We might not ever get along, or see eye to eye, or even like each other, but... I want to be here for you. I am here for you. You don't have to be invisible. Okay?"
i have to heal myself
AmaLiA


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