she didn't want to love
she wanted to b e l o v e d
and that was entirely different
"Come with me."she wanted to b e l o v e d
and that was entirely different
Is she eager to get him alone, to find a space for them together away from prying eyes and whispering tongues? Perhaps- for the thing they have built is painfully new, delicate spun spider's silk, too precious for scrutiny and judgment and fire. She wants to hold it close to her chest, to cherish the warmth of him and wrap herself within it, to reassure her troubled mind that he has not turned his gaze away, cast his light upon another and let his flame be doused by shadows and rain.
So it is that she draws him away, coaxes him out of heartfelt reunions with a gentle touch and a whispered word. Part of her fears he will not come, but Amalia need not be concerned. Deimos is an oathkeeper, a bastion, a trusted thing, and they have already exchanged promises, vows to at least give this a try. I am yours, the behemoth told her, three words a mantra tattooed in her heart, the beat which courses through her blood, the inhale and exhale from her lungs. That day is a song woven in her mind, a lyric of longing and potential and hope. She wants to relive it, to know it was real.
She wants to replace it with so many more.
Jyoti has no such reservation. Sensing the things in her companion's heart the whale has scarcely left Deimos' side, flitting and flirting, playing and singing, trying to investigate his hands and his coat. She decorates the demon in starlight and song, an outward expression of Amalia's affection, entirely unstoppable in gaiety and mirth. At first the girl tries to quell her, sedate the starwhale and draw her away, but eventually the baker surrenders to her companion, secretly delighting in the playfulness of the being.
At last they reach their destination, and Amalia grins before leading him onward, through a hidden door at he base of the tree. Slipping in through the roots of the oak, Amalia reveals the secret she has found: books upon books, lining walls and caught in crevices, a haven carved in ancient earth. "Isn't it wonderful?" The ceilings are low, the space small and cozy, barely large enough for the tall man to stand, but to the girl it is magical. Jyoti swims out ahead of the pair, sprinkling starlight in the comfortable space, creating an atmosphere of marvelous beauty, pleasant and perfect and for this moment, theirs. Turning back to look at Deimos, Amalia's face is a picture of bashful joy, hopeful and yearning for him to approve, to find the same wonder in it she does.
Amalia
we are all b r o k e n
that's how the l i g h t gets in
that's how the l i g h t gets in
