dire engagements

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

"I'm not just a pretty face, you know," Ronin says with a foxlike smile towards Remi that's entirely ruined by the way he's hunched over the cart so it can take his weight. "I learned a lot from my mum," he adds in a quieter voice after a beat or two. "She used to lecture about this sort of stuff. Demonology, I think she called it?" He shrugs his shoulders, then promptly wrinkles his nose at the implication of something being tethered to him.

"Okay but we don't know that for sure yet, right?" He says, wincing as they continue to trundle through the store with the salt and iron now safely added to their supplies. "And I didn't invite shit, since we're on the subject. I revoke any implied invitation too." As if saying it out loud will cause anything that's gotten psychically attched to him to suddenly apologise and see itself out.

Listening quietly as Remi explains, it's with a soft hum of understanding that Ronin shrugs his shoulders as though to say it was worth a try. "I very much was," he confirms about being raised Catholic, at least. "Though I lost that belief quite a long time ago. No fetching necklaces for me, then. Though I will say, between us you're winning at the fashion game." See above for striped pajamas and leather jacket.

"So salt, iron... anything else, or can I also grab dinner while we're here?"

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

Remi blinks, genuinely surprised, before nodding slowly. "Right. I think I remember seeing that on your bio, actually—your mum being into all that. Demonology lectures." A pause, followed by a faintly sheepish shrug. "Honestly, I thought they made that up for the show. You didn’t really seem like the type."

His voice trails off into a quiet huff of laughter, eyes flicking toward Ronin just in time to catch the wince. "Well. If you’re revoking your invitation, then that’s that, then." He rolls his eyes theatrically as he says it, but the crooked smile he offers after is weary rather than amused. "Glad we solved that. Guess we can pack it in and go home now."

There’s a hum as he turns the cart into the next aisle, boots thudding softly against the too-shiny floor. "Small victories," he mutters when the fashion game is brought up, brushing his hand across the hem of his sweater as if to deflect the compliment, though his grin turns lopsided all the same.

"I think we're good for now," he confirms, nodding toward the supplies in the cart. "Then again, I am just the simple Medium, not the son of a Demonologist, so if you would like to go check the garden centre for hag stones, be my guest." Then, glancing back over his shoulder toward the front of the store, he grimaces faintly. "Pretty sure there’s a burger place attached, if you think your stomach can handle real food. Or at least whatever that place counts as food."

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

"Mm, it's one of the reasons they gave me the role, to be honest," Ronin says with a gentle shrug, unashamed to admit to any leg-up given by his family background. Showbiz is vicious, as anyone will admit, and modesty gets you nowhere. "The Taliesin name doesn't mean much in the mainstream, but for the sort of audience we're going for it'd be a big draw, even though she hasn't lectured in years now."

Remi is right, though, and he certainly hadn't been the type until a few days ago. Beyond knowing a lot of random shit about the paranormal, he'd never really given it any credence. More fool him.

"Well, let's not go that far," Ronin says of packing it in and going home, smiling sheepishly at the other man. "Better to be safe than sorry, right?" He might have had his doubts about salt and iron even twenty-four hours ago, but right now, their presence alone (and let's be honest, Remi's company too) is enough to have him feeling a little more steady.

Trying not to seem to eager as he nods for the burger place, Ronin has evidently forgotten the garden centre and the hagstones and whatever other bullshit he's suggested as he wheels the cart around. "Even if I can't handle it, I'd very much like to try. They don't lie about hospital food being bad, you know. Come on - my treat."

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

REMI

Remi snorts, loud enough to startle a middle-aged woman restocking a paint sample display. "Ohh," he drawls, giving Ronin a slow, side-eyed look that’s all mock betrayal, "so a nepo baby. I should’ve known." But the corners of his mouth tug up again, warm and easy, and he doesn’t bother hiding the grin that follows.

Still chuckling, he nods. "Free food’s free food," he says even if they'd both end up regretting it later, steering the cart toward self-checkout. Just before scanning the last item, he adds two impulse packs of orange Tic Tacs and flashes Ronin a guilty smile, as if to say don’t judge me.

They ditch the cart near the exit and make their way across the breezeway to the burger place, the sliding doors groaning open like they resent being involved in this endeavour. The sign overhead reads The Drill Bit Diner, complete with a cartoon of a cheeseburger wearing a hard hat. Every menu item is a pun and a half.

Remi eyes the board, unimpressed but faintly amused. "Alright," he murmurs, pointing at one with deadpan resignation. "I’ll take a Double Drywall Deluxe, no onions." He glances at Ronin, arching a brow. "Unless you’re feeling brave enough for the Greasy Studfinder Combo?"

Who are you? They ask. Death?
Sometimes... I say. But not today

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

"Guilty as charged," Ronin says with a bark of laughter, offering a careful, roguish little bow that relies completely on the shopping cart to take his weight. "Though I like to think I bring my own flavour of talent to the show as well." You know, when he isn't drowning in blood and making overly cheerful conversation to avoid thinking about what might happen when they get back to his place and the sun goes down.

With a thoroughly unhealthy dinner next on the immediate agenda though, Ronin is happy enough to lead them through the self-checkout, and while he raises his eyebrows and smirks at Remi's orange Tic-Tac additions, he holds up a hand as if to assure him that there's no judgement on his end. (Even if he's more a fan of the cherry-cola kind).

Already missing the cart as a makeshift walker, he gingerly follows after the other man as they walk to the DIY-themed diner, Ronin ending up squinting up at the board as if unsure whether he's ordering food or the contents of a toolbox. "You're a greasy studfinder," he quips under his breath, unable to help himself. "But nah, I think I'll try the Bacon Boltcutter, with a side of Dirty Drillbits." Smirking, he nods to one of the tables. "They look like the best seats in the house if you want to grab 'em. I can take care of this."

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

Remi’s eyebrows lift innocently. "Oh?" he muses, the gleam in his eyes unmistakably mischievous. “"And what might that be, exactly?" He wonders of Ronin's flavour. There’s the briefest pause—just long enough to let the implication hang—before he glances up at the board again, letting Ronin off the hook for now.

Snorting at the quip, Remi groans like the weight of a thousand ill-advised flings has suddenly collapsed onto his shoulders. "Ughh," he mutters, "I've certainly found my fair share of greasy studs in the past." He claps a hand briefly against Ronin’s shoulder as he turns to head for the booth. "Call if you feel yourself tipping over." Couldn't let their food be in jeopardy, after all. Sliding into the cracked vinyl seat that Ronin had nodded toward, Remi pulls out his phone.

As Ronin approaches with their orders—both burgers already dripping grease into their little cardboard trays—Remi shakes his head and holds up his phone instead of reaching for the food. "Have you seen this?" he asks, his tone dry and a touch annoyed.

On the screen, a paused YouTube video displays a thumbnail of a blonde woman with bright aqua eyes, her mouth caught mid-rant. She’s sitting on a velvet couch next to a man with slicked-back dark hair, blue eyes, and a jawline that looks chiseled for the algorithm. Both are mid-gesture, fingers flared and eyes wide behind podcast microphones, the background cluttered with neon signs, ghost merch, and the over-saturated trappings of the spiritually opinionated.

"They’re saying our whole last episode was fake," Remi says, flicking the video into motion. The woman launches in with a voice that sounds like she’s both amazed and personally offended. "I’m sorry, but the blood? Really? It’s giving special effects. And that EVP was so clearly edited in post." The man beside her nods sagely, smirking right down the camera. "And don’t even get me started on the pacing. It was so manufactured. Like...everything was fine and then suddenly their medium is hiding in a closet?"

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

"My Irish charm, obviously," Ronin fires back, looking offended that Remi has even had to ask. Nepo baby or not, he's still comfortable in front of a camera in a way that a lot of those considered for the role had shied away from, and so he stands by his flavour in that arena. Granted, test audience reviews suggest that they particularly like Remi's more serious addition to the cast, so perhaps Ronin will be ousted before too long.

Wincing dramatically (and not entirely for show) as he finds himself clapped on the shoulder, Ronin smirks after Remi and tries not to let his thoughts linger too much on the sorts of greasy studs he might have encountered before now. Luckily there's food to order, and he's as serious about that as he is about not being haunted any more tonight.

Leaning against a pillar that has been designed and decorated to look like a screwdriver, he's just feeling like he might tip over when his ticket is called, and Ronin steels himself for the very important journey to their seats. "Mm?" Sidling into the booth opposite Remi and setting the tray down, he peers with curiosity at the video he's shown.

"Oh, are they?" One might have expected a primadonna meltdown at the criticism, but Ronin is smiling broadly as he listens to their last episode be categorically torn to pieces. "Send me the link?" he asks, pulling out his phone and bringing up his number for Remi - it's about time he had his details anyway.

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

Remi leans forward across the table just enough to glimpse Ronin’s screen, typing his number in and filling out several of the contact form fields that most people choose to ignore. A moment later, Ronin’s phone pings with a link: Hasty Edits, “Haunted” Houses, and Horrible Timing!

"Catchy, isn’t it?" Remi mutters dryly, before frowning down at his burger like it might have something to say about it too. His appetite drains with each syllable echoing in his mind from the video. "They have to know it’s bullshit, right?" he grumbles, unwrapping a corner of his burger but not yet biting into it. "There’s no way they believe what they’re saying, and they definitely shouldn't be encouraging anyone to check out the property for themselves." He huffs out a breath and gestures vaguely at the phone between them.

He finally takes a small bite, chewing with the sort of pensive disapproval reserved for food that tastes fine but doesn't match his mood.

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

Clearly having no issue with his appetite at all - days of hospital food will do that do you - Ronin has already taken a bite of his burger and chased it down with a forkful of fries, nudging the little cardboard tray of them towards Remi in an offer to share. When the ping! comes through, he wipes his hands on a napkin and immediately launches a video, smiling as he scrolls through the comments and takes note of the creator names.

"I've heard of these two," he says off-handedly. "I can tell you now they're pissed because they didn't get permission to shoot at our location. Here - Isla has given me the logins for the Ghostwatch social media." And for better or chaotically worse, his management of it has been far from bad for their marketing.

Almost gleefully typing away at a comment, upon hitting send, he nods for Remi to check the feed below the video. There, he'll find the official Ghostwatch account replying to the reaction:

Sorry we missed you out there! Collab soon? They say seeing is believing

In the meantime, stay sexy and don't get haunted!

The Ghostwatch Team

"That ought to steal a bit of their thunder." Ronin grins, and even as he speaks he can see the likes start pouring in on the comment.

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

Remi raises a brow as Ronin launches into his explanation, nodding slowly with the sort of amused patience reserved for chaotic children and apparently co-stars with unchecked access to official logins. He waits, fingers drumming lightly on the side of his burger as Ronin types away, and when finally given the all-clear, he refreshes the screen.

A new comment loads instantly beneath Ronin's:

Oh, babe!—we’d love to collab and to SEE how all that spooky editing is done on your end!

Stay credible!
- @SeanceAndSensibility

Just beneath it, almost offensively fast:

– @DriftwoodJack

Remi blinks once. Then again. He looks up slowly from his phone to Ronin, brows climbing with an incredulous seriously? sort of expression, one corner of his mouth twitching like he's debating whether to laugh, groan, or ask Isla to revoke Ronin's comment privileges immediately.

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

Ronin's delight only increases as he watches the comments load beneath his own, and he reaches out to take a sip of his Coke before promptly clicking his phone off and setting it back onto the table so he can focus on the greasetrap of his burger. "It's called killing with kindness," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "If they say no, they're basically spouting off about us without ever accepting the opportunity to prove us wrong."

Pausing to devour a bite of burger and a couple more fries, Ronin nods towards the phone again as it continues to light up with further comments and reactions from watchers. "But by saying yes, now they're on our home turf. We're going to get them views, exposure, potential other opportunities if it goes well. Won't look good if they slate us after that."

And honestly, the likelihood of this actually going ahead instead of fizzling out to nothing is very low in Ronin's experience, so y'know - all in good fun. "Wonder what they'll have to say when the next episode comes out." Y'know, the one with the drowning in blood.

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

Remi’s eyebrows lift slightly as Ronin doesn’t immediately thumb out another retort, but he doesn’t press. Instead, he picks up his burger and sinks his teeth into it, chewing thoughtfully as he listens. It's only once the other man explains his logic that Remi exhales, shaking his head with a dry little laugh. "I didn’t realise there was so much strategy involved in replying to online comments," he mutters, as if the very idea exhausts him more than being drenched in spectral blood.

The phone between them continues to light up like a cursed ouija board, the flood of responses growing steadily louder, both literally and figuratively. Some users are already screencapping the interaction and reposting. Others are launching into miniature essays on ethics in ghost-hunting journalism. More than a few are falling over themselves to proclaim their undying devotion to either Ghostwatch or Seance & Sensibility, with a rather disproportionate number of heart-eyes and swooning praise aimed squarely at @driftwoodJack.

When Ronin brings up the next episode—the one where most of the basement footage is mysteriously missing—Remi swallows more slowly. A minute or so passes before he sets his burger down and reaches for one of the fries. "How far’s Isla gotten with the edit?" he asks lightly, like it’s just small talk. "Haven’t seen anything from her yet." He shrugs, aiming for casual, even if the ketchup he dips into feels like a poor substitute for all the blood in the footage no one knows he stole.

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

it feels like we're ready to crack, these days, you and I

"The internet is a warzone and I am an seasoned soldier," Ronin informs Remi with a smirk, reaching up to swipe a bit of ketchup from the side of his mouth and letting out a sudden, long sigh, as if only just realising how good the food is compared to the hospital dinners. "I'm very glad we decided to do this," he says with a sheepish smile in Remi's direction.

Falling quiet to demolish the majority of the burger and to make a steady dent in the fries, when his phone refuses to stop pinging, he eventually flips it face down into Don't Disturb Me I'm Eating mode, shrugging across at Remi. "Always leave 'em wanting more," he says with a wink, grabbing a napkin to wipe at his mouth and sagging back in his seat, happy and full.

"Mm? Oh, no - she banned me from work talk while I was checked into the ward," he says with a petulant huff, reaching for another drink of Coke. "Given that there were actual medical personnel called I imagine she's busy patching the footage she definitely snuck of the ambulance and paramedics. Should make for a good episode."

And when he says it like that he can almost forget that he starred in it.

And died.

when it's just the two of us, only the two of us, I could die

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3

I don't know who I am, I don't know who I'll be

"Apparently," Remi mutters, still eyeing the glow of his screen as he scrolls through Ronin’s Instagram page. Tapping on the little blue badge beside the other man’s name, he quirks a brow. "Is that why you’ve got this thing?" he asks, turning the phone slightly to show Ronin, tone dry with just a hint of amusement. "Did you win some kind of online battle of wits to earn it, or is that just your war hero ribbon now?"

The sheepish warmth in Ronin’s voice catches him a little off guard, just enough for Remi to blink and glance up from his screen. It’s not what he expected. It’s...sweet, actually, which is probably why his laugh comes quieter, more genuine. "Oh, you mean leaving the hospital against the advice of your doctors?" he deadpans in response, sliding his tray a bit closer as he polishes off the last of his fries.

Ronin’s comment about social media earns a low murmur of "Title of your sex tape," between bites. He eats, chews, swallows, and lets the moment settle, trying to ignore whatever strange mixture of relief and tension he feels knowing that Isla hasn't yet started a witch hunt over the missing footage.

By the time he finishes, he leans back in his chair with a soft grunt of satisfaction, swiping a napkin across his mouth and hands. "You sure you’re up for getting your bike?" he asks, casting a sidelong glance toward Ronin. "We could always come back for it tomorrow." He pauses, then smirks. "You already fought the battle of Carrying Food to Table and held off the enemy online."

but there's a light in the attic and I swear it's calling me

Code 100% taken from the queeeeeeen herself, Sky <3