Rock Steady

He nodded in understanding of Remi's explanation, lips curving crookedly into something that was almost a smile. "More similar to here than my world is," he agreed. "At least in that way. It took me awhile to wrap my mind around how few races were here in comparison to what I knew. Or at least... races as I think of them: the way you are born rather than a choice you make." There was nothing light about the way he spoke of his past. If anything there was a stilted heaviness to his cadences far from his usual agile tongue, a sense of pushing against the weight of years and habits ingrained lifelong to speak of it aloud at all. But Remi's intent expression, his sincere thoughtfulness, eased a little of the lorekeeper's anxiety and he bowed acknowledgment of the information his companion had pieced together. "It was. A way to blend in. One thing that has remained true since I came to Caido is that my people are not known for our, ah, physical strength," Jigano admitted, a ghost of humor in his eyes. "Agile and cunning, but not overly blessed with brawn." He let out his breath in a sigh, realizing only then how tense his hands were on the table. He took a moment to relax them, smoothing the pad of a thumb over the grain as he looked down at the table rather than meeting Remi's eyes. "I was raised to keep my true form hidden, and my... other form, as well. I can only remember the human faces my parents wore now. As soon as I was old enough to understand, it was impressed on me how important it was to only let the world see my human face, too. And several times that disguise saved my life, and the life of a friend. Only once was my disguise stripped from me, and only one person on my world still living knows what I truly am." He raised his eyes at last, watching Remi with a solemn blue gaze. "I know that things are different here on Caido, that... the reasons I was raised to hide no longer apply. But it is... not easy, to overcome the training of a lifetime, or to be so open about what was once a life-or-death secret for me."

It had been a torrent of words, though slowed by rocks and bends in the river of the tale. He waited, cautious even now, to see what the younger man - who trusted so easily, who held nothing back - would say, or if he would say anything at all.

///

"I have many things up my sleeves," Jigano agreed, taking the joke with a grin that felt strange, but far more welcome than the original tension between them. "Alas, they don't leave much room for muscles."

The lorekeeper nodded at Remi's explanation of the properties of geodes, his own understanding of their formation process somewhat sketchy but matching up with the alchemist's information. He didn't quite push his chair back from the table as the young man took the large rock in his hands, but there was a hint of tension in his carriage as he prepared to fling an arm up to protect his eyes--

The silent halving of the stone was almost anticlimactic as Jigano blinked and then leaned forward, genuinely impressed as the light sparkled off the translucent-milky crystals peeking through the interior shadows for the first time in tens of thousands of years. "That's a lot safer than how I used to do it," he admitted with a chuckle, grinning up to Remi in a moment of shared discovery of something new.

Я

Distantly Remi rubbed at his wrist, the motion an old hangover that he'd nearly forgotten entirely. Glancing down with a slightly confused expression as if expecting his body to have something to say for itself, he chuckled and shook his head slightly. "In Northaven all of us wore cuffs..." A finger traced the place the golden shackle had once been. "I can't believe how quickly I forgot that."

Listening with as polite an intensity as he could muster, wanting to ask a flurry of questions but forcing himself to be content with what Jigano offered, the alchemsit nodded. Agile and cunning certainly sounded like Jigano, and he found himself smiling rather happily at the knowledge that though much must have changed for the bard, at least some semblances of who he was remained intact.

However something Jigano said struck such a chord within the alchemist that he visible straightened, eyelashes fluttering over a gaze suddenly wide with understanding. ...the reasons I was raised to hide no longer apply. But it is... not easy, to overcome the training of a lifetime, or to be so open about what was once a life-or-death secret for me. A different set of circumstances to be sure, but for two decades Remi had hid an integral part of who he was. Even here where sexual orientation hardly seemed to matter at all, still Remi found it hard to be as open as others could be.

"I understand." He said with a touching sort of sincerity, a slight grimace creasing his features as Remi gave another slight nod. Did it clear everything up between the two? Certainly not. Did it make all that displeased Remi about Jigano suddenly become excusable and understandable? Not that either. Did he appreciate this glimpse into the bard's past? More than he could communicate.

"I would like to hear more of your story one day, if you ever feel inclined to tell it." He said softly, wondering if it was too much too soon, but wanting to express the sentiment regardless.


///


"Me too. I admit, sometimes I feel that using magic is cheating...it makes my work seem...cheap at times. But then there are moments like this that I truly do appreciate it. Not for the ease of work, but that nothing was damaged." Even with the surest hands and a sharpened chisel, at least some of the stone would have been lost as a result of the force.

"Us?" Jigano asked quietly, eyes catching the motion of Remi's fingers. A curious gesture, and one that had him narrowing his eyes in concern. "Slave cuffs?" Far from unheard of in Numeria, but there had been no slavery in his home town of Torch, and he had been raised with a clear disgust for the practice.

His own story was still vague, but Remi listened patiently and with enough interest to keep the bard talking. Trust, but not too much trust. Honesty, but not the whole truth. It was still more at any one time than he'd shared with almost anyone else and it still felt strange to be talking to Remi about it, of all people. But... there was no denying that the young man had been through several life-changing events in the past season alone, and he no longer seemed quite as reckless as he once had.

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he finished, but something in Remi's soulful eyes spoke of understanding even more surely than his words a moment later, and Jigano dipped his head in acknowledgment. There was something compelling in the way those two words were spoken, and he trusted his instincts when they said that the alchemist truly did know what it was like to hide such an integral part of himself.

The offer to listen more was even more surprising, and Jigano blinked before a ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Well. Perhaps I may take you up on that someday," he found himself agreeing. "And if you feel like sharing more of your own as well... well. You know where to find me, now." The smile freed itself, wry but sincere as he considered the strange and fragile bridge they were building.

///

"Mmm. I admit, I prefer sentimental things that have been created from hands and skill, but I won't deny it's a damn useful skill to be able to make the right object for the moment, or to bend earth or fire to your will," he agreed. "I wasn't strong enough to break them even with tools when I was a child, so I used hot fire and cold water to crack them. But it tended to shatter them into several chunks and sometimes the smaller bits would go flying..." He chuckled ruefully at the foolishness of his youth. Honestly he was godsdamned lucky he hadn't lost an eye, but he'd definitely learned his lessons quickly!

"I wonder if you could transmute the outside of the rock to the same type of crystals as the inside?" he mused thoughtfully.

Я

"Mmmm. We were called shape-changers." He elaborated with a gentle shrug. "Not so obviously, no. We could never remove them, but when we shifted we could bring our clothing and items with us. That is what the cuff did. What it also did was let everyone know who—or what—you were dealing with." With the ease of someone who had always been at the bottom of the societal totem pole, the alchemist continued without much emotion in his voice. " To be a shapechanger was to be at the bottom of society." He added for clarity.

Remi too seemed aware of the gentle stasis they had reached. Perhaps it was mere shyness and uncertainty on his part, but the alchemist found himself watching to retract from difficult conversation, if only so that he didn't spoil it. Too much too soon might wash away the stability of the past moments discourse, and as with most things, it was easier to get along than to not. And even if it was only for selfish reasons, Remi did indeed want to get along with the bard, so he hummed a note of agreement and let their mutual pasts remain firmly behind them.

"Yes, exactly. Perhaps it is because I have not grown up with magic but...it almost does not feel as though I have created or done these things." Remi said in agreement. Chuckling Remi nodded at the thought. "Very clever though." He added, nodding his approval.

"I think so." Remi said, placing a hand on the rocky outer crust. With eyes gently focused on the stone, the alchemist pulled in a breath, then breathed it out. As he did crystalline structures overtook the darkened shell and the same jagged formations from within suddenly grew along the top. The entire structure appeared significantly lighter now that light could easily pass through the totality of it.

Once he would have tensed as Remi spoke of being marked. Not a slave, but not exactly free either, was it? And to be assumed to be lesser because of a talent for changing one's shape... No, the man who had been a kitsune did not particularly like hearing such things. It danced dangerously close to being personal. But the alchemist did not need his pity. He didn't even need his empathy, not really. They had been down that road once before, and so Jigano simply took a slow breath and nodded carefully, grateful for the information shared, but locking his rash words tightly behind his teeth this time, trying not to repeat the mistakes of Leafchange and Deepfrost.

The geodes provided a lighter distraction, and talk of more general magic was safer by far than dark pasts that they could not change. He tilted his head at Remi's description of his creation magic, a thoughtful expression stealing over his face as he tapped out a distracted rhythm on the tabletop. "Most of my powers related to sound," he revealed. "Or the mind. Or changing luck... I never had the ability to create things, even at the height of my abilities. I can't imagine how it must feel to simply wish something into being. My world was rife with magic, and still that is a talent that would have been seen as incredible," he admitted with a wry smile. "But you certainly seem adept at it!" 'Like that patch you made for Sam,' he almost said, before biting his tongue back against the memory of Remi's earlier discomfort on the topic of the bookmaker.

He bowed his head in acknowledgment of his younger self's shenanigans. Clever and stupid, all at once. A bit of an on-the-nose description of his teenage self. And sometimes his adult self, in spite of his best intentions. They were actually playing with the rocks now, though, and he was eager to see what Remi could do with them, and whether the tentative ideas spun from 'what-if's and 'maybes' would hold water. He leaned forward eagerly now that the initial breaking was past, and watched in wide-eyed delight as the inner crystals seemed to overtake the whole of the piece, a chunk of glittering crystal.

"Magnificent," he said, openly admiring the work - the piece of art - that the alchemist mage had made. For a moment a beam of sunlight piercing through the window seemed to catch it and light it with a soft fire from within. "If you could find a way to make that glow even without the sunlight in it, you'd have Amalia's eternal gratitude. A light source without a flame? We could save ourselves a great deal of worry in the Guild if we could use those to light our Hall instead of lanterns in the chandelier!"

Я

"Oh?" Remi said, glancing up with a quizzical look on his face. Sound? Given how very little Remi knew about magic the applicability of what the bard's previous powers wasn't immediately obvious to him. The mind and luck though were more obvious, but still Remi's gaze was without assumption. As with most things the bard said, Remi could never quite tell if there was animosity in his words. Indeed Jigano's tone made Remi feel patronized, or that he was being falsely 'talked up'.

Pleased that Jigano seemed content with what he'd made the rock do, Remi felt a blush tinge his cheeks at the word magnificent. At the mention of glowing without sunlight, Remi tilted his head to the side and nodded. "In Northaven I used to make stars which would glow at night. Along the coastline there were these small aquatic creatures that washed up on the sand, lighting the entire length of the beach at night. It is where I originally got the idea."

Looking down at his hands for a moment, Remi turned around reaching for a small glass chair. As he held it, it began to fill with a powdery whitish-yellow substance that was entirely without colour. "My studies of those creatures led me to this. When combined with another chemical it will glow." So saying, Remi again turned and reached around for a coppery liquid that he added to the powder. Nodding towards Jigano, Remi made a cave with his hands around the jar, smiling inwardly. Pulling back he pushed the bottle towards the bard, indicating he could do the same. Inside the powder would glow with a faint turquoise light.

”Using music or words to give a defined shape to destructive force, creating and amplifying a wave of sound, to daze or deafen, or even push enemies back, for instance,” he explained, at the gently questioning sound that he thought meant that Remi was curious. He was sincere in his own praise of Remi’s talents, too. The creation magic he knew of tended to require components to cast, the sacrifice of one (or several) objects in order to call a new one into existence. Even then, the objects created tended to be impermanent, disappearing after minutes or hours, or else were shoddy simulacra of what was desired. That Remi could create permanent, well-made objects indistinguishable from those crafted by hand, with no material component or sacrifice on his own part was indeed a strange and miraculous ability for someone who had been raised and trained in a very different school of magic.

”Stars?” He asked, curious but smiling. It sounded almost whimsical, which fit well with his sense of the alchemist. He was slowly letting himself re-learn that there was nothing wrong with that, in spite of his previous condemnation of the light-hearted side of things. Strange, what a little love and optimism could do to a bitter, broken fox.

He watched with a bemused smile as Remi used his magic to fill the jar, and then tipped liquid into it. ”All from some little water animals?” he repeated, leaning forward obediently to peek into the other man’s cupped hands. He squinted at first, then his smile broadened with delight as he sat back, eyes still locked on the faint glow that fought the sun from within Remi’s hands. ”And no magic to it at all? Well, aside from not having to chase down the ingredients the hard way now,” he corrected himself with a chuckle. ”That’s wonderful, though. Does it get brighter the more of it there is?”

Я

Jigano's clarification did anything but, the confused look on the alchemist's face now looking properly puzzled. Defined shape to destructive force The latter made a bit more sense, but still it seemed dizzying to the alchemist's mind who hardly understood magic in the first place, much less in a way that Jigano was describing. "I know our worlds are different...but what you are describing.." Gently he gave his head a slight shake. "It is unlike anything I have heard of." Without wanting to probe too much, Remi paused for a moment just silently considering the bard before speaking again. "Do you think you will regain your magic? Given all that can happen here...it does not seem entirely impossible?"

With a blush, Remi smiled with dimpled-cheeks as he nodded. "Yes. They would be adhered to the ceilings in the shapes of constellations. " He admitted with a grin.

"The idea, yes." Remi said with a nod. "In Northaven I created it by hand. Here though.." He replied with a rather bashful shrug, letting his rather embarrassed silence answer the question instead. "More will make it seem brighter, but in terms of intensity, this is the strongest I have come up with. The longer it sits in the light, the longer it lasts in the dark I have found. But perhaps alterations can be made for indoor use? Does the guild get much light during the day?" Remi asked, having only seen a small portion of it.

It was clear that they lacked the shared vocabulary for his explanations to make sense, and Jigano tapped a finger thoughtfully on the table before relenting and surrendering a slow nod of agreement to Remi’s confusion. ”If I were better at what I aspire to be, I would be able to describe it more clearly,” he apologized. ”For me, my magic was more instinctive than trained. It was… in my blood, rather than something I actively sought out, as a wizard might.”

The question was unexpected, and unexpectedly painful. The bard didn’t answer right away, his gaze lingering on the crystalline structure of the transformed geode as he let his emotions settle before trying to put them into words. ”I don’t know,” he said at last, sighing softly. ”There is a part of me that will always feel like it is missing without it but… I have been learning to live without it. Or at least, to adapt to how Caido has changed it. And… to rely on others again, to shore up where I’ve become weakened by the loss.” His lips quirked just slightly, a wry and oddly vulnerable expression. ”It is a long learning curve, and one I often slip on.” He gave a small shrug, raising his eyes to Remi again. ”I would not turn down the chance to regain it, though, if that’s what you mean. Whether I will actively seek it out again… will depend on what happens in the future, I suppose.”

Stars were easier to speak of, reminders of his past and of meeting Safrin in the Glade. He chuckled in appreciation of making constellations with them, though it had been years since he’d stayed in one place long enough to have a ceiling to call his own. As a child, though, he would have been utterly enchanted by such a thing.

He let the silent answer to his question slip away; it had been mostly rhetorical after all, an expression of delight at the clever concoction. He nodded at hearing that larger amounts would create more light, and again at Remi’s own question. ”We might be underground, but the original builders of the Hall built in a clever array of mirrors,” he explained. ”They reflect light from the southern window wells through passages in the walls to catch other mirrors in the main hall and the chandelier, and refract the light throughout. A lantern placed in the chandelier itself creates the brightest light, but during the day the reflected sunlight is adequate. And if you, say, transmuted a whole geode to crystal and we simply bored a hole in it so the interior could be filled with your starlight, it would benefit from the reflected sunlight in the chandelier during the day… or… does it have to be direct?” he asked, brow furrowing slightly in thought as he tried to work out the most efficient way for such a gift to be added to the Hall’s existing design.

Я

"Oh no, it is not you. I have just...wizard?" He trailed off with a shake of his head, indicating that even with the most eloquent of examples and descriptions, it was still all in a language that the alchemist was only just learning existed, much less one he could understand.

Wincing with a gentle empathy as the silence stretched out after Remi's question, the alchemist could feel his toes curling inside of his shoes at the pain he seemed to have caused the bard. As Jigano explained, Remi found himself stilted by some of what the bard said, but he didn't comment. Instead he nodded, lips twitching slightly. The pair still seemed at a point where more invasive questions weren't welcome, and where offerings of sympathy would likely fall flat. Though Remi wanted to ask what in the future would change the bard's outlook, he bit back the question and merely hummed a note of understanding. "Well, if someone like me can have both, I can see no reason why it would be barred from you. Despite the fact that Ludo called it a curse when it gave magic to me, most do not see it that way."

With a happy shrug, Remi's widened stare indicated that he did not know the answer to the question. But a brilliant look of excitement at needing to find out sparked colour in his cheeks. "I have only ever used direct light. But I have a mirror here, we could easily try." He offered with a slight tilt of his head, unsure if the bard had time in his schedule for more experiments.

"Ah... I suppose it's a term that has no meaning here," he said with a rueful smile. "If you're interested I can explain another time. Not that it's more than tavern stories now... the systems of magic on my world hold no sway here." He gave a shrug, trying to brush it off as though it was of little matter. And in some ways it was, or at least, it mattered less now than it had two seasons before, when his arrival and loss were both still fresh. The thought that he could regain something similar to his lost abilities, if not exactly what he'd had before, was still a volatile subject, however. As Remi pointed out, it wasn't completely beyond the bounds of possibility... and as he spoke Jigano found himself sucking in a slow breath. "I hadn't realized..." he murmured, blue eyes focusing with renewed intensity on the young alchemist. "I thought you had your abilities from before you came here. I... it didn't occur to me that Ludo or one of the other gods might have bestowed them on you...that it was something they could do." Though given what they now knew of the Voice's origins he could understand why the gods wouldn't count such powers a blessing.

The glowing alchemical mixture was brimming with the light of possibility as well as chemofluorescence. It distracted them both, and Jigano returned Remi's interest with a grin. "By all means," he agreed, shifting so he could better block the direct light from the window with his body. "Just tell me where you want me to stand so I'm not in the way - or, am in the way, if I can help block the sun a little," he added with a chuckle. "Here's hoping it works!"

Я

"Even knowing that there are different systems of magic is..." Remi exhaled and held his hands up as if to indicate that the idea itself was more than he was ready for, much less a comprehensive lesson. Another time, though.

With a blink of surprise, Remi shook his head slowly. "Oh, I thought I had..." Touching a hand to his forehead the alchemist winced an apology. "My memory seems to have suffered for being toyed with so often." He said by way of explanation. "But no. In Northaven you were either a shapechanger or a mage. There was no overlap. Then here...early on, I was walking through the woods and thought I saw my mother. She died when I was young, but given the strange things that happened here, dead being brought back I though..." Perhaps more boyish than ever now, Remi smiled softly and looked down at his hands. "Long story short, it was not her of course, but Ludo. It...it made me.." Swallowing down the words, Remi itched the back of his neck uncomfortably before glancing across the table at the bard. But if Jigano could share a part of him with Remi, it was only fair the alchemist respond in kind. "She lead me into a swamp that would have killed me. As you know Ludo seems to like trying to get me to kill myself. But that night was the first time I ever became a lion. I..."

Grinding his teeth and tapping an aggravated and unhappy finger on the table, Remi seemed to be silently coaxing himself into saying the words.

"..I killed her. Not her her, but if you have ever seen what Ludo can do, it felt real enough. It was why I was so hesitant to become a lion for so long. After that, Ludo cursed me with the magic I now have." Remi finally said, trying to still his fidgeting fingers.

///

With a grin, Remi rose to find a mirror. Handing Jigano one and holding the other himself, he nodded towards the bard. "Alright, if you stand by that window there and direct the light here, we can see how it works. It should only take a few moments worth of light to see if it will store it."

Jigano shook his head quickly to forestall Remi's apology, murmuring softly. "No, it's alright..." But the alchemist was speaking again, offering more of Northhaven's lore, and then story of his mother which had the bard's eyes widening in recognition. He bit his lip, letting the other man speak, and finally exhaling soft sympathy as he watched Remi's restlessness at reliving the painful memory.

"I'm sorry I brought that up again," he offered, voice quiet. "I do remember you telling me some of that story when we first met. About Ludo and your mother and the lion, at least. Not what Ludo required you to do, however. And I thought the ability to shift into a second animal was miraculous enough... I don't remember you mentioning the magic, though I may have been distracted by everything else I was learning." About Remi, about Northhaven, about Ludo and luxere and Sparkbirds... it had been an eventful day. His memory was well-trained but not perfect, and it was possible that tidbit had slipped his notice... or perhaps not. Remi had far better excuse for a faulty memory than he did, after all.

///

The mirror was light enough, and Jigano curled his fingers around it, careful not to smudge the glass as he went to stand where Remi indicated. Once the alchemist was in position the bard grinned and tilted the reflective surface to catch the sun, walking it carefully across the room until it struck Remi's mirror, a ribbon of light that cut across the comfortable shadows of the interior of the workshop with almost physical form. "I wonder... according to the old map Amalia was given, there should be an ocean to the east of us. I would be curious to see if they have similar creatures as the ones you mentioned, the small glowing ones. I must admit... though I've read about them, and I've seen vast lakes, I've never actually seen an ocean before."

Я

"Ahh, well, talk of matricide is not normally how I begin my friendships." Remi said with a small smile. "I might not have mentioned it. It would be been...fresh, then." He added with a slight crinkle to his nose and shrug.

Stunned as always by the properties of light, as Jigano shot the beam in his direction Remi expected to feel something in his hands. But of course he didn't, the beam of light easily and weightlessly bouncing off of his mirror onto the geode. "Mmmm." Remi hummed happily. "I would like to see the ocean again." He said with a wistful sigh, his smile no less buoyant for Jigano's admisison. "It is worth seeing, if we ever can get to it. You can...you can feel its size, if that makes sense. Almost the way you can feel it in your gut if you are standing before just a small forest, or a large woodland."