Rock Steady

Bowing his head in acknowledgment, Jigano let the conversation shift to lighter topics. Literally, as they began discussing the properties of glowing concoctions and crystals that could hold light in their centers. It was almost... well, it actually was fun, to explore the properties of these things together, Remi's eager curiosity sparking a matching delight in the loreseeker as they chased their experiment, capturing a fragment of the sun and sending it shooting across the room in a zig-zag of brightness that ended in the nondescript vial sitting so innocently on the table, filled with its concoction of powder and copper liquid.

"I think I knew what you mean..." Jigano murmured, remembering how Numeria had looked like, spread out beneath the lonely peak of the Silver Mount. He had known it was big after walking over it, but seeing it from that higher perspective had been a completely different level of understanding. "Did you ever go out into it? Swimming or on a boat, I mean? I read about creatures of immense size that swam in them... some gentle, others that would quite happily eat a man in two bites, or less!" He continued to hold his mirror steady, watching the vial eagerly as they passed the time while it charged itself with light - he hoped.

Я

"I did swim a little. A fellow shape-changer was a dolphin, and she would swim down to coral reefs and project the images up to me as a hawk." The memory made him smile widely before it soured ever so slightly as he wondered what had ever become of her. He couldn't even remember her name now, just her long mermaid-y hair and the way she said she could see underwater with the use of clicks and whistles. "Vanya, Ronin's...well. Vanya's people sailed over on a large ship. They told all sorts of stories like that, of creatures like giant spiders beneath the waves, of animals that made bears and such look tiny." The alchemist shook his head with a grin.

"Maybe if I think really hard about the sea, my next animal shift will be some aquatic animal." Remi said with a laugh, looking towards the bard and suddenly starting with a thought. "Have you learned anything more about the attuned here? How shifts are chosen? Could thinking about an animal make it so, do you think?"

He had seen pictures of dolphins in books, and the sleek lines and smiling mouth that had been drawn on it still made him smile a little at the memory. What would it be like, to be such a creature? Ah, but to be bound to the water like that, would it be worth it? Then again, given that he could both run and fly now, having a form that would swim properly suddenly seemed of great interest.

"Yes," he murmured, a little distracted by the pictures Remi's words painted, and a bemused smile on his face as he contemplated the creatures that the alchemist described. "She was a... a seabird of some kind, was she not?" Ronin had said as much when they had lamented the lack of trained sailors and boatwrights among the surviving Outlanders. Now that the barrier was down and there was a world to explore, the eastern ocean was one direction they might have gone... if their own ignorance and lack of skill didn't make it so difficult.

The sudden question had him blinking back to the present, a brow raising in surprise at the very serious question - but very fascinating one, nonetheless. "I... am not sure," he admitted slowly. "Many of the Attuned I met have been Outlanders, who arrived with a single animal form apparently chosen by the gods or chance when they passed through the portal. Of those who can take more than one form I know you, another who I suspect, and... myself," he acknowledged slowly, with a nod of his head. "Most of those I've met have been, like me, reluctant to divulge their, ah, secret very openly so it hasn't been something to easily talk about." Surely others must have come from worlds like Remi's, where shape changing was seen as commonplace? But even Naturals born to Caido didn't always seem willing to openly flaunt their choice of gods. Amalia had held her feline shape close at first, though as she became more familiar with it she seemed to be relaxing more into revealing it. "I think it wouldn't hurt to try, though," he offered. "Need seems to play some part in it, if it happens under great stress."

Я

"Yes, she was. I never had the chance to fly with her, though. I did not know her well before coming here." Remi said, regret heavy in his voice even as the corners of his lips tugged backwards in a smile.

"Interesting...that somehow it knew I was a hawk when I came through..." Pressing a finger just above his brow Remi let his mind wander...until of course Jigano said what he did, which captured the alchemist's attention entirely. "You—" He began, until the would-be sentence was eaten up by a rather shit-eating grin that splayed itself rather crookedly across Remi's features. Though Jigano had been the one to offer the information, still it seemed secretive in a way, and so the natural question of what else can you be, seemed off the table. But still..."And the other form...s?" He paused, a hint of a question there; 2 forms? Or more? "—do they seem..surprising to you? Or ... would you have chosen them, if you could have?"

"It knew of my... heritage, as well," the bard admitted thoughtfully. "I hadn't realized it was strange, before. I'm a bit ashamed to admit that I hadn't considered at all, really, that the process that brought us here might have given us different forms entirely - or none at all." Knowing what they did about the portals now it was, frankly, even stranger to him to think that some came through as 'Attuned' when it seemed as though the Voice would have preferred Ascended, Accepted... perhaps even Abandoned, as they had once been, before their own assumption of power. He spoke calmly, politely making no obvious notice of Remi's delight at learning a bit more about the secretive oracle - his present, this time, instead of his past.

"Forms," he agreed dryly, lips quirking in wry amusement at Remi's open curiosity. Strange and unsettling as it felt to be talking about it, it was less painful than it had been the first few times. It was becoming easier with practice, perhaps, and with the acceptance and support of those he had told before. "One came when I wished desperately for wings or a means to climb. I wasn't thinking of any creature in particular, and perhaps I would have chosen something different if I had known that I could have controlled it, but I found myself shifting into a form that allowed me to rise to the occasion. The other..." He trailed off, smile fading to thoughtfulness as his eyes unfocused a little, remembering that night beside the river. "I... honestly do not know," he admitted slowly. "Though there is perhaps a certain... ah, inevitability? to it. I do not think I would have consciously chosen it, but subconsciously? Yes, I can see how it may have happened in that way." He tilted his head, coming back to the present as his gaze found Remi once more.

"What of you? The hawk was your choice, the lion was not, as I understand it? If you could choose a third what would it be? ...and why, if I may be so nosy?" As much to learn more about who Remi was as a person as to pry, though he wouldn't begrudge the young man for choosing not to answer all or part of his question.

Я

"So far everyone I have spoken to was brought over...close to what they were before. From Northaven anyhow, those with magic retained it,. though I heard from some that they were weakened...those who were shapeshifters like myself retained their shift..." Chewing the inside of his lip thoughtfully, Remi glanced across to the bard with his head tilted. "But .... how could it know?' He mused, his expression almost worried.

Remi picked upon the fact that the bard did not openly give up what his forms were, and so the alchemist did not ask. Instead he just nodded, trying not to read anything into Jigano's words or expressions, since it seemed clear whatever other details there were, were not meant for him. Or not yet, at least. "Hmm." He offered thoughtfully, unsure what to make of Jigano's explanation without more details.

"Oh no. The hawk was not my choice. We did not choose, though there did seem to be a certain...logic to it, I suppose. My parents both had avian shifts, so I was not surprised when I became what I am." With an embarrassed laugh, the alchemist's cheeks reddened slightly as he looked down, clearing his throat softly. "I do have a third. A raccoon, actually." He added with another small uncomfortable laugh. "Perhaps it makes sense in a way, since they are crafty and good with their hands. Although the first time I shifted was after I had been attacked and Sam had to carry me to Isla—" Both of those names made Remi's smile tighten slightly, but quickly it evened back out. "So another shift of convenience?" He wondered with a shrug.

"But if I could chose another..." Unaware of the potential parallels, Remi merely smiled a wide and boyishly adoring and private sort of smile. "A fox, perhaps? I have a friend who is one...sometimes we hunt together as hawk and fox, but sharing the ground with him might be nice as well."

Remi's description made sense and seemed to mesh well with what Jigano had learned from other Outlanders. He nodded slowly, then cocked his head at the question. "I suppose... perhaps it doesn't so much 'know' as 'sense' what we... were? And then adjusted us to fit in with the closest equivalent on this world?" He tilted his head, intrigued by the train of thought. "Perhaps there is something about Caido - or its gods - that prevented anything not of this world from coming through?" Hence no kitsune or demigods in the way Caiside once was.

Without knowing how Accepted became Attuned - aside from a prayer to the gods - Jigano was uncertain how initial shifts were chosen, or perhaps bestowed? upon the people of Caido. It sounded as though it had been somewhat similar in Northhaven, based on Remi's descriptions, and the bard listened with interest, brow rising in surprise at the mention of a third shift. "A raccoon?" he repeated, bemused as a small grin spread over his features. Remi's continued explanation of why the shift was an appropriate one had Jigano's grin widening, and he started to nod in agreement--

At least until Isla's name was mentioned. Like Remi, his humor faded for a moment, but as the younger man continued on Jigano tilted his head in acknowledgment, if not precisely agreement. "I think your other explanation, that it fits well with your... personality and strengths? perhaps, that sounds likely. It would also explain why I gained... raven's wings," he admitted, swallowing past the anxiety he felt at saying the words aloud. Imagining Remi in a fox's shape was... oddly uncomfortable, he found, and it served as an unexpected distraction at his other discomfort.

"Have you ever hunted together as fox and lion?" he asked instead, still weighing in his head whether or not he could divulge his original 'shift' to this particular young man with whom he'd had such a tumultous relationship so far.

Я

The alchemist's tongue licked the corner of his lips as he considered the bard's words. "So less of a decision and more of a.... procedure, I suppose?" He ventured, not sounding sure of his characterization of the idea. "It did make mistakes though, at least...well. Ianto was placed outside of the barrier. And if the purpose of us being here was to try and find a way out, that should not have happened."

Remi could sense the weightiness of Jigano's revelation about one of his shifts, but it was hard for the alchemist to truly appreciate it, given that it seemed an entirely mundane fact given his upbringing and world context. Still, he bowed his head appreciatively before a small smile stole across his lips. "Perhaps we could fly together some time. It has been a long while since I have had anyone to fly with." Names and images flashed behind his eyes as he thought of all of those he once shared the skies with, his heart plummeting as he realized that not one of them had remained. Vanya. Martha. Koel. All had come through the barrier, but none were left now.

"Mm, oh, no. We hunted together back in Northaven as fox and hawk quite often, but not here yet. Providing one's own food was much more of a priority then, whereas here thankfully it is not. But a fox is faster than a raccoon, but a good deal smaller than a lion. It would be nice to have roughly the same traits ... but then perhaps I should encourage him to try and find wings of his own, then." Remi added with a cheeky grin, his heart flip-flopping happily at the thought of flying with Ianto.

"Given that the Voice was behind it, 'procedure' is probably the right way to look at it," Jigano agreed wryly. He shifted slightly, catching a bit more light with his mirror as he pondered Remi's point about the mistakes that were made. "I suppose nothing is perfect?" he hazarded. "Perhaps something interfered with Ianto's... transfer? And I know that more than once it has taken people who had magic and animal shifts and given them the powers of only one or another, not both." Himself included, and Caiside as well. "So I've no idea how it 'chooses' what to do with those cases." Turn them into Attuned, mostly, it seemed.

It helped that Remi was courteous about the bard's discomfort with revealing his secrets, even if such things were commonplace to him. Caiside and Amalia's reluctance to be open with their own Attuned abilities had come as something of a relief in comparison when Jigano had realized that he was not the only one who found such openness difficult to embrace. "Perhaps," he agreed quietly, with a nod of his head. "I have... well, never really flown with anyone. It would be interesting, at the very least."

"You and Ianto are close, then?" he asked, curious. If Remi had no memories of Sam he could hardly be considered to 'move on' from something he had never known, but it still caused a slight ache in Jigaon's heart at how hard it must be for Sam to watch the man he loved fall in so easily with another man, even if there was nothing more between them than close friendship. "I wonder when or if he would develop a second shift... Or you a fourth? Is there a limit to how many animals we can become?"

Я

"Why not just make us all ascended then and be done with it?" Remi asked not really expecting an answer. Whatever the reason, the alchemist was infinitely glad that they hadn't been. It wasn't that he hadn't anything against them, indeed for the time she was alive being an ascended seemed to suit Isla well, but Remi couldn't imagine not being what he was...even if he was no longer truly just a shapechanger anymore.

"Ahh, well. Only if you would like." Remi said with an apologetic smile. The alchemist was social by nature. Jigano though? Though Remi was tempted to say that the bard was a loner, all evidence suggested he wasn't. That he didn't want to keep Remi's company did not mean that he didn't want to keep any company. In fact, the alchemist rarely saw the bard alone. "Kiada and Devrum can fly as well." Remi added with a helpful shrug, unsure whether or not the bard knew of either of them.

"Ahh, well. Getting there, I suppose." Remi said with the sort of open honesty he had once been known for. "We were quite close in Northaven, but my memories of him were taken as well. So we are...backtracking, I suppose, as we go forward." The thought of Ianto developing another shift made Remi's lips twitch with amusement. "I have no idea. I always thought one was the limit, then two, then three...Have you heard of anyone with more?"

Remi's question was a good one, and Jigano tilted his chin thoughtfully as he considered it. "This is only a guess," he said slowly. "But... the histories we've found record times throughout the centuries of the barrier when Ascended were hunted down. The Voice may have wanted freedom and followers, but she seemed patient and smart enough to lay her plans well in advance. No one really knew what the portals were or why they were happening until the barrier fell, so no one knew that She was behind the Outlanders appearing... but if the only ones to come through had been Ascended, it would have been a much easier connection to make, and could have led to Outlanders being killed as soon as they arrived, which wouldn't have served her purpose." He paused then offered a ghost of a grin. "Then, too, the Ascended have strengths, but they also share weaknesses like sunlight and fire. Bringing down the barrier may not have been possible by Ascended hands alone; magic from Abandoned may also have been needed, and those who could work in the day and pass among non-Ascended." He started to shrug, then stopped the motion before it could rock the mirror. "Whether that's true or not, I can't say, nor can I explain how some Outlanders arrive as Attuned... unless there is something in our souls that the process of transfer, and of molding us to fit this world, can only act on with our permission, even if it's only subconscious. Perhaps the mysterious Caido - the god, rather than the world, or perhaps both - touches the souls of those passing into its power and bestows the blessing of being Attuned on those who share a spiritual resonance with it." His smile quirked wryly once more. "The Voice is undoubtedly strong, if the Old Gods could not destroy her, but neither could she overcome them, so my guess is that her power is, at best, equal to theirs - and she can't tear portals in space and time without their noticing it and perhaps... mitigating things, a bit." It was a question they had been too busy with other things to spend much time on before, but Remi was right to bring it up now. New Outlanders were still appearing, after all, and Jigano doubted they had seen the last of the Voice or her plans.

Remi's diffidence would have been endearing if they hadn't already been through so much together that had put them at odds with each other early on. Now it was... well. The bard sternly told himself that the pu-- the young man was at least trying, and that he deserved the benefit of the doubt. Were they not working together well today? "I think... I might," he said cautiously, instead of closing up as he once might have, misinterpreting Remi's retiring courtesy as insincerity. "I am... I have difficulty speaking to others telepathically. It was something... something that I spent a lifetime building defenses against, on my world, where thoughts were not so much shared as taken, by force and spell. And since many of the secrets that I held were not mine to share, it was too great a risk to allow. It has taken a great deal of time here to begin unlearning those instincts." Perhaps the alchemist couldn't understand that, from what Jigano could remember of their first conversation and how easily Remi had seemed to slide from his world into this one. Northhaven had its wars and Walls, its bloodfiends and shifters, but both worlds were very different from the one he had called home for twenty-seven years.

"Ah, Devrum. I've only heard of him from Vai," Jigano admitted cheerfully. "I thought he was a bear! I didn't realize he had two shifts as well. Or that Kiada was Attuned..." A tidbit of knowledge he tucked away for later consideration, a plan already bubbling in the back of his mind for a way to explore the new woods that had opened up to the north.

He had heard the name Ianto before, he was certain, and from Remi himself. It was sobering to realize that Ludo had taken those memories as well, and Jigano bowed his head in acknowledgment of the young man's loss - and his resilience at reforging those bonds. Would he do the same with Sam? The bard could only hope that the two could yet find happiness together. Surely Sam would never abandon the man he seemed so in love with? "Three for you and I... so far that's the most I am aware of," he agreed. "But given how we've, ah, 'collected' them so far when we've not even been here a full year I suppose it's not impossible to think we might have more eventually. Or that we might meet someone outside the barrier with more, however they're gained." A sign of the gods' approval? A slow blossoming of power as they became more in touch with the world around them? Or some other mechanism entirely? "Do you think the mixture has absorbed enough reflected light to test it yet?"

Я

"Hunted down?" Remi repeated, looking appropriately shocked at the notion. "By those within the barrier?" Falling silent the alchemist listened to the rest of what the bard had surmised, his head shaking slightly as he tried to comprehend it all, his lips falling open slightly slack with awe. Such was far above his expertise, and indeed even his mind's ability to try and keep up. Properly stumped, Remi merely furrowed his brows and nodded slightly, his gaze falling to the beam of light streaking through the room and the particles dancing therein. "I will not pretend to understand it all...but I am glad that you seem to, if only because I suspect this is not the last that we will have to deal with this sort of thing. " Pausing, Remi glanced up then. "If she could bring us through ... does she have the ability to also send us back?"

Smiling, Remi tilted his head in that very bird-like fashion he was prone to. You mean, like this? He hummed gently, despite the fact that his lips didn't move. Although, as with most things between the bard and the alchemist, Remi acted too swiftly. Jigano's follow up made Remi frown, and he shook his head slightly. "Sorry." He murmured with a quick smile, realizing too late that Jigano probably did not want to hear the alchemist's voice inside of his head, if he had spent so long trying to ensure a way to prevent just that.

"It seems to work here similar to how it did in Northaven. All can hear it, but not all can do it, or at least not right away. And the ability to speak to others when not shifted takes even longer. But...if you do want to keep others out, it is possible. You will not be able to block the sound of their voice, but you can keep them from feeling down the bond into your thougths."

The mention of Dev made the alchemist chuckle heartily as he nodded. "Wonders never cease with him." He agreed with a grin. "And yes, though I hope she does not mind me saying so. She is a rather fascinating bird actually. Quite large, I have never seen anything like it."

Twitching his lips Remi too shifted the mirror he held as he hummed a note of agreement. "Not to be cowardly, but I would be quite content to stay at three if it meant avoiding those situations." The alchemist said with a boyish grin.

Glancing towards the brightly shining geode, Remi flashed the bard a grin. "Only one way to find out." He chirped merrily, lowering his mirror and thus breaking the sun-light chain. "Will you do the honours?" Sweeping a hand to the side, Remi indicated that Jigano should be the one to make a self-created cave around his eyes to see if indeed the reflected sunlight had worked.

”That’s what the records say, and what 108 told me. Given all that led to the Barrier being raised in the first place I’m not surprised,” Jigano explained with a faint grimace. ”Fear and blame can drive people to do terrible things.” They were lucky that they had narrowly avoided a similar outcome between Naturals and Outlanders, after all. He had hoped that Remi would continue to toss ideas back and forth with him, poke holes in his hypotheses and help strengthen them by suggesting alternatives, but the younger man withdrew from the conversation with his usual overly-active sense of humility. At the final question Jigano shook his head in regret for more than one reason. ”I don’t think so. From what I understand, she was trapped and sleeping for a long time before she was freed in the Underground, but Outlanders were still brought through during that time, so it wasn’t a conscious effort on her part. Perhaps it was something more akin to a spell that had been left running in her absence… But if you truly wish to return, perhaps you could ask her?” 108 had thought that it wasn’t possible, and Jigano had been inclined to trust her calm, pragmatic judgments. Influenced by the Voice though she may have been, she also knew her creator far better than the more recent ‘children’ of that new goddess. But perhaps now that the Barrier was down, things had changed? If she was free and more powerful than before there was a chance…

But it wasn’t one that Jigano felt the need to take. Maea’s questions of the goddess had been met with an almost passionless cruelty, and while Remi was right that things were certainly not over, the bard had other priorities to focus on in the meantime.

He winced away from the uninvited voice in his head, though this time he didn’t snarl wordlessly at it. He was getting better with it, learning to accept it more easily among his friends, and the anxiety faded more quickly now, calmed with practice. The swift apology earned a sigh and a tilt of his head in acknowledgment as he considered that the first uninvited voice he had heard in his head had been Remi’s… something the alchemist seemed determined to continue with. ”It’s alright,” he murmured, forcing himself to accept the apology at face value. ”I’m becoming more used to it here. And yes, I have been practicing ways to shield my thoughts from more than casual conversation.” Caiside had been a willing partner in that, both men preferring to keep their secrets, but trusting each other enough to risk the occasional slip while they honed their defenses, though the stag had yet to manage telepathy outside of his animal form.

Jigano nodded as Remi grinned over Devrum’s surprises and Kiada’s animal form, his curiosity piqued in bright eyes and the quirk of a smile. ”I look forward to seeing it,” he murmured, making a note to try and find the girl later, when time permitted. His smile became a chuckle at Remi’s ‘cowardice’ – or rather, common sense! – and he nodded fervent agreement. ”I spent all my life with one form before this. Though having wings of my own has certainly been fascinating in its own right, I hardly know what I would wish to become beyond what I am already capable of.”

Remi lowered his mirror, and Jigano followed suit, setting his own down carefully at the alchemist’s invitation. ”It would be my pleasure,” he assured his host, stepping over to the table and cupping his hands around the little vial of powder and liquid, blocking the light as best he could. A definite glow blossomed as darkness fell around the concoction, and the bard rose with a laugh, turning to offer Remi a bow of congratulations. ”It works! Not as bright as a lantern, perhaps, but safer than one around the books! And if I could ask you to continue tweaking your formula there might be way to brighten it further, maybe?” He looked to the alchemist curiously, wondering if Remi had ever had reason to try and make it brighter before, if the original goal had been gently glowing stars rather than light enough to read by.

Я

Remi blinked at the strange name (at least Jigano used it in a way that made it sound like a name), and nodded. The idea that whatever the Voice had been doing might be unconscious and continual made him shiver slightly, and he made no efforts to hide his discomfort at the idea. "Oh, no." The alchemist clarified with a shake of his head. "I do not want to go back anymore, actually. At first...well, I suppose the natural inclination was to return, but most of what meant anything to me at home came here as well. Moreso I meant whether she would send us back simply because her goal had been met? If we would all wake up where we were before, without any sort of discussion about it?"

The alchemist smiled, taking the bard's acceptance at face value as well. Though silently Remi reminded himself not to speak with anything but his tongue to Jigano, unless circumstances absolutely warranted it. "That is good. Not only in animal form, but it can be particularly helpful especially in the forest when one needs to keep quiet."

Remi hummed a note of agreement, though for all of the backwards ways of Northaven, at least he hadn't had to hide his true face as Jigano had (at least when it came to his shift). "Well, let us hope that if you do find a fourth, it is not in harrowing circumstances." Remi said with a boyish and bright laugh.

Clapping his hands together and beaming the bard a smile, the alchemist nodded enthusiastically. "If there is a way, I will definitely try to find it. I could do this magically but...I must admit I miss puzzling out a solution. So if you do not mind, I would like to try the old fashioned way, as it were."