I'm not a kid but I'm still young

"I thought for a long time that I was without family." Remi offered gently. "My father too was not a good man and while he was abusive and negligent, he took no pleasure in it I do not think...which I am not sure the same can be said for yours." He added with a wince. "And so I thought I was simply alone. It has taken my whole life to learn that you can make your own family." Thoughts of Vai and Ashe and Ronin swam behind his eyes making him smile despite the heaviness of the current conversation. "You can do the same too Sam. You are not your past." He added, not as a criticism, but as a nudge towards more hopeful things. With a laugh that surprised himself, the alchemist shrugged. "Perhaps you are right." Though the suggestion that they were not good together, despite the obviousness of it, was hard to hear. Ruffling a hand through his curls where a few feathers had appeared, Remi nodded. "That...sounds right." He admitted slowly, chewing his lip and regarding the floor somewhere beneath Sam's chair. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Sam was interested to learn more of Remi's past, especially the parts where they were the same; though he frowned to hear Remi's father found no pleasure in his own abuse. Why would one feel the need to do it, then? What could drive the desire? It was a notion new to Sam and one that actually in a strange way made him thankful that he had understood his father simply had a perchance for crueltyl. It was a partial explanation, at least.

He could make his own family...a sweet concept. He supposed he sort of had, with Cornelius and Jigano, in many ways Remi despite their complicated past...friends slowly became companions, became people he was ready to face the world with. "Yes...you are right."

Remi agreed with his assessment of their current situation, but seemed sad about it; Sam was not pleased to make the statement either, but it felt like a natural place to come to. The 'right' thing, as Remi put it, for now. "...Maybe...one day, years in the future, we can talk about it again. When I've..learned myself, and you can forgive me." He mused, unsure if Remi would actually want such a thing.

"Until then, though. I would love to see you often in the store, or here, or at the Atheneum...you are good to talk to, and talented. It would be a painful thing for me to lose your company."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Years sounded like a death sentence, and for some reason Remi found himself rubbing just below his collar bone as if his heart was physically uncomfortable with the word. After a moment though it did make him smile slightly as he nodded. It seemed a very Sam thing to say, to go from I love you after only a few weeks together, to maybe in a few years. For one so mild seeming Sam was full of extremes. Glancing across the meager space between them, Remi nodded easily. "We do still work next to one another." He said with a laugh. "And I am sure we will keep running into one another...but certainly we are still friends Sam. Especially after everything.." Swallowing down what might have been a further sentiment, Remi glanced above the fireplace again, a restless look in his stare as he gazed at the golden feather. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Sam had said years, but even he knew if Remi asked him out the following week he would have been unable to say no, no matter how much careful considering and deciding he'd done. Remi and Jigano were both right to think him impulsive and irrational and he knew it, even if he did not like to think of people knowing his flaws.

Not that he thought Remi would ever ask him out again, mind. He considered that a complete lost cause. Perhaps they could be friends, but he imagined the Alchemist would avoid him romantically entirely from now on. His heart twinged a little at that, but he deserved it, so he could not say anything of it.

"Now that Ronin has returned, are you going to be spending as much time at the guild? Or will you return to full work at your shop?" He asked out of curiosity, wondering where he would go to meet Remi from now on. "Do you wish to explore beyond the barrier? I've heard there's some...exciting things out there."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"I will stay living at the guild with him, I think." Remi answered slowly. "It is easier for him with Aoife I think. And after everything that has happened, it is nice for him not to be alone." Despite what had occurred between them, he and Ronin were closer than ever before, but not in a way that made things awkward. Not yet anyhow. And the mention of being beyond the barrier, the alchemist ran another hand through his hair and leaned casually back in his chair. "I have gone out already actually. I had to collect some elements for something Safrin was helping me with, and they could only be found there." With a touch of a whimsical smile Remi thought of the whisperfish, of Eliza, and of the strange Wicker Woman. "But I have it on good authority that the Fae want little to do with us and would prefer us not to be in their woods so..." Shrugging gently, Remi scanned the lines of Sam's face. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

"Yes, I suppose that might be true. I have some books for when Aoife wants to learn to read, by the way. I began to make them after showing Maea...some for adults, but some for children too. If Ronin doesn't mind, I could teach her." Sam had surprised himself with how much he'd actually enjoyed teaching, how good he'd been at it, a gentle and understanding teacher with clear instruction. When he was simply a vessel for information he found his nerves subdued considerably.

Upon hearing Remi had already gone out of the barrier he raised his eyebrows and took a sip of his (now mostly cold) tea. He certainly was brave. Sam had not even considered leaving after he'd heard the warnings about the outside, despite his part in the Spire's invasion.

"I see...what are the Fae like? You know.." He laughed. "At this point, you may as well join the Loreseeker's guild yourself. I want to ask you for so much information on so many things. But I would love to hear more of the Fae, if you know anything. And of anything else you saw out there. I do hope you did not find yourself in too much danger." Not that he thought Remi couldn't handle it. His diaries described all kinds of scrapes and problems solved by the other man's bravery and cunning.

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"I am sure he would not mind at all." Remi said with a grin, and truthfully he didn't think Ronin would. Not because he was a lazy parent, but because Ronin seemed to be the type to happily allow the world to help raise his daughter if only so she could be exposed to all it had to offer. That Maea did not know how to read was a bit surprising, but Remi just smiled and dipped his head not wanting to make anything of it. "They are interesting to be sure. Winged and small, they...either they age slowly, or simply live longer. The most interesting thing though, is that they cannot lie, so they are apparently quite good with words." At the mention of joining the Loreseekers, Remi's smile died somewhat and he just shrugged politely. Though he and Jigano had agreed to be civil and had been able to hold up that agreement thus far, something told the alchemist that his presence in the guild would be tolerated at best and would likely just cause tension between he and the master loreseeker. "Well, there are fish that can sing and mirror speech. They are called Whisperfish and are found near the Sidhe Village. I had to stay in my raccoon shift the entire time to keep the Fae from even knowing I was there, that is how little they tolerate our presence." Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

"Wonderful! Then I'll be sure to make sure they're all ready." He'd tried his best to make the books as colourful and interested as he could, with soft velvet covers instead of the usual leather to make them softer and nicer to touch for little hands. Sam did not know much about children but he knew they liked bright colours and patterns, so he had done his best to fill it with drawings and all his most vibrant inks.

He listened with rapt attention as Remi told him about the Fae. "They cannot lie...? What happens if they try to? Is it a law or..an actual physical inability?" It sounded nice in a way, a culture where you always knew people were being truthful with you. It would certainly make social interactions easier in a way, even though it might eliminate some kind little lies people told him.

"Wow. It...sounds an odd place. A little too exciting for me, probably." Imaging Remi sneaking around as a raccoon was a sweet, funny image and he smiled at it; the idea brought about a question. "I've read when Ascended drink from someone they can...take on their abilities. Does that mean...if I wanted to...I could.." He laughed again, shook his head, the idea was so bizarre. "...Be a raccoon too? From drinking from you on the night of the barrier's fall? I don't know why I would want to but it is just an odd thought to know I have that ability."

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"I am not sure that it hurts them but it is very uncomfortable. Almost like...oh, I do not know...trying to shove your hand through a space too small, perhaps. You can see how it would be done, even though you cannot make yourself actually do it." At least that was how it seemed with Eliza. "There was a time you did want to go beyond the barrier...perhaps you will again." Remi interjected softly with a small shrug. The mention of drinking made Remi shuffle his knees uncomfortably, hands pulling at an errant thread on his trousers as he nodded slowly. "Yes. You have before as well, unless your diaries did not mention it. But you have become a lion and a hawk. Never a raccoon, I do not think. It also means you have my magic at your disposal." He added as an after thought, the memory of the bites and the passion it inspired in him making his mind slightly cloudy. Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

"I see...I wonder why that is. Do you find it makes them much different from us in conversation?" There were so many little lies uttered every day Sam wondered how the lack of them might affect a society over enough time.

Remi told him that once he had wanted to explore and Sam honestly struggled to believe it, knowing himself to br anxious to step outside even his usual routes to the market. Had he really been so affected by Remi before, so much braver?

The news that he had previously been a lion and a hawk was shocking to him too, but this in particular was so bizarre he burst out laughing, unable to imagine it. He had limited experiences with the biting, only remembering one instance... but he wasn't sure if what had happened then had been a symptom of their underlaying passions or to do with the bite itself. The potential awkwardness of the first possibility stopped him asking.

"Wow...I had no idea. In my diaries it's...vague, about the drinking. I only recall after the Spire and I have not used the power yet. Well...what would you reccommend I do with it? Whats the best ability you have?"

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

"Ahh.." Remi hummed thoughtfully. He was far too trusting of others, a facet of himself that often got him into trouble. So he was probably not the best judge to know when or how often others lied. "If anything Eliza made it sound like they bend the truth more often. I do not remember her phrasing, but I believe they are very skilled at...ahh, misdirection, you might say?" Rubbing his fingertips against one another and gazing fixedly on the floor, Remi pondered Sam's question through what felt like a fog. "I..." Running a hand through the scruff on the side of his cheek, Remi glanced up for a moment, seemed to weigh something internally, and then sat up and leaned back completely. "I do not know. I suppose it depends what you want to do..or..accomplish." Frowning for a moment, he tilted his head slightly. "I suppose you do not even remember all the things I can do? All...that you can do, now?" Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

"Oh, gosh. I would probably not do well speaking to them, then." Sam knew he was easily confused by people quick with words, especially if they intimidated him. Normal conversations were already a minefield for him, something he found difficult (evidenced by the many times he'd said something that Remi had taken in ways he hadn't even predicted) so conversations with someone actively trying to misdirect sounded hellish.

Remi was right: Sam did not know the extent of Remi's abilities. "No, I don't remember it all. Well..most of it, any of it. But um..." Sheepishly he laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, looked up at Remi as if caught in the midst of something embarrassing. "I was more just hoping to have some fun with it. I don't...often do things just for fun, and I don't really have a practical use for it. That's why I asked you what your favourite thing you can do is."

He hoped Remi did not consider his magic sacred, something to never be used for entertainment; but from what he'd read that didn't seem the case and it was hardly like a ladder for the Atheneum was a matter of great importance.

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back

Though magic had been something only the high-borns possessed back in Northaven and Northwind, Remi was not so staunchly set in the old ways that he didn't think his new found powers could be used for simple amusement. Ruffling a hand through his hair again, he tilted his head with a small flicker of a smile. "For fun, mm?" Remi repeated. "I suppose it depends what you want to do. Flying is one of my favourite things to do. But I can do things with the earth as well, move things...change things, create things..." The alchemist shrugged. "I guess it all depends on what you find fun." Яemi But now it's happily ever never. I guess now I know better

Remi smiled and Sam relaxed. Flying did sound fun, but he was a little scared of it and from reading his diaries, believed he had done it before. Even though he didn't remember it, Sam thought he might like to have an entirely new experience for the both of them. Creating something from nothing felt...terrifying, almost like too much power for him to hold in his pale, shaking hands; he hardly knew what he would make anyway.

"Hm. Perhaps...since you say I have not done it before, and it does sound rather fun...I shall be a raccoon. We...or if you don't want to come I suppose just me.." The tone of his voice implied very much Sam would like Remi's company. "Could go to the woods and just...try being a raccoon. What a bizarre idea." He still found himself giggling over it as he spoke.

"Though I don't know how you just....do it. I'm sure you taught me before but...can you show me again?"

Samuel

I tried to dance with the devil on your back