The Disappearing Light

Both Remi and Sam had memories taken from them - or rather, had given memories away. Remi's most recent experience with it had been a punishment though, beyond his control, and it seemed almost more of a punishment for those who he no longer remembered than for himself. He might regret knowing he had lost things, but he couldn't truly know what had been lost. Sam's willing flight into ignorance of his past would be something that Jigano would not soon forget, and especially when he realized that any memory Sam had that might touch upon Remi was now untrustworthy and suspect. Even memories that they had together, the bard and the bookmaker. It was a sobering and depressing thought, and the last thing he needed on top of his other burdens, but what choice did he have?

The cat provided a welcome distraction, and a chance to recover some of his poise as he obediently petted her and listened to the history of her name. "Mia? How lovely,", he murmured appreciatively. "A good thing she is a girl, then. Or would it have mattered?" There was no reason a boy cat couldn't have been called Mia, he supposed. He frowned a little, though in thought rather than disapproval at hearing that Remi had been over recently, and partially transformed himself. "Hmmm I don't know if that really counts," he said ruefully. "His lion form is so much bigger than her anyways, and if he was only partially transformed she may not have really considered him another 'cat' like her. If she'd met Bobi, Edy's young bobcat, that might be a better test... or even Chunk." The bard sat back, closing his eyes to focus on his own bond for a minute before he tilted his head to the side, the smallest ghost of a smile on his lips as he reassured himself that Isuma was well. "There is someone I might bring to meet her at some point, when we have made it through the current crisis. But only if having another animal around wouldn't upset her."

"...I supposed I just always imagined my pet would be a girl." Sam laughed and shrugged. "Perhaps if she were a boy, I could use Miles." It was close enough. He had a good point about Remi's shift. Sam had not (as he remembered) seen Remi as a lion, nor any lion in real life, something he was actually quite glad for. The sight was probably frightening. He wasn't sure how big they were, but he was sure the answer was too big no matter what the specific measurements. "I would be worried for her safety with those cats...they are used to a lot of people and fighting mice and things. Mia mostly just sits in my house or at the shop. She does not like to go outside or be in crowds." It was part of the reason he loved her so; they were kindred spirits of a sort. Jigano mentioned someone he might bring to meet her. "Who? Do you have a cat?" Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Jigano nodded politely, though he thought that 'Miles' was more a unit of measure than a proper name for a creature. It was lucky all around that the cat had been a girl, it seemed, for its sake as much as Sam's.

The bookmaker's description of his companion had the bard tilting his head in slight confusion, though he would not be so gauche as to doubt another persons's understanding of their bonded animal. Sam had just said that he had found Mia living feral and hunting bats. It seemed likely that in her life alone she had fought her share of mice and perhaps even other cats, to claim the once-empty bookstore's hunting grounds as her own. It was no wonder that she now preferred comfort and pampered treatment, but any creature that had been raised to live and hunt on her own would hardly be helpless when faced with mischievous Bobi or solemn Chunk.

The question earned a brief tilt of his head in acknowledgment as he went back to stroking slow and gently down Mia's back. "Something like that, yes. Isuma is half-cat, half-owl, but she is still small and quite young. She would be no danger to this little lady." He glanced up at Sam from beneath his lashes, wondering if the bookmaker would put the information he had casually let slip together or not.

"Half...cat...and half owl?! How did you find something like that?" Sam asked, confused. Had Jigano been conducting some kind of awful experiment in his home, combining creatures to make hybrids for his amusement? No, probably not, but it was still confusing. "Isuma is a nice name though. I'd quite like to see...such an odd creature, especially if Mia would get on with her. Perhaps we can take them on a playdate of some kind." It felt weird to be planning things like playdates when their guild was potentially missing some members to a forest monster. Sam slowly fell quiet, looked about the room. "...I do hope Caiside and Amalia are alright." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"Not so much 'found' as 'got lucky,'" Jigano corrected, lips lifting in a wry smile. "In Deepfrost I came across a... an ice nymph, I suppose, or some kind of elemental fairy of frost. She gave me an egg, which hatched Isuma." He tilted his head curiously at his friend, raising a brow in mild surprise. "I haven't seen many other gryphons, it's true, but I've read about them in books here. Are they really so rare?"

He nodded agreement that the name was nice. "She's named for one of my friends from my world," he explained quietly. "Isuma... is a brave and wise woman, who stood by my side even in the face of great danger. She was still alive, last I heard of her, but this lets me keep her memory close in my thoughts, since I will never see her again." He gave a sad little smile to Sam's suggestion of a playdate, nodding acquiescence and appreciating the unconscious optimism that they would both return safe and sound for such an occasion.

"As do I," he agreed quietly. "I am not normally given overly much to optimism, but in this case... we must hope for the best. I would not abandon you, Sam, and I will not abandon them, either, without knowing what has happened to them."

"A nymph? My. I have been in the woods many times and never seen such a thing." It wasn't clear in his tone whether he was jealous or not; Sam found the idea fascinating but, as he felt about most things, terrifying too. The element of the unknown in a creature like a nymph was too much for him to be entirely comfortable. "I have read of them too, but...I've never seen one. I struggle to visualise it." Isuma was a nice name and he nodded to hear it was in the memory of another of Jigano's old friends. He wondered if this friend had been a human, or some strange other thing like he had described before, a walking lizard or woman made of clouds. "Perhaps one day, somehow, you might see her again and you can tell her you named a Gryphon for her." "I know you would not abandon me. You are loyal, Jigano, and a good friend." Better than me, he thought, but did not say, not wanting the conversation to turn to more self-pity. "Do you think perhaps after this mission we could work more on..ah...making books?" He laughed. "I have a few ideas, but with all the excitement lately I've hardly been able to work on them." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"She was the first, but I encountered a second such creature recently," he admitted, remembering the night beside the river in the Greatwood, Remi and Rory and a group of lost souls called from their beds in the middle of the night to dance to the tune of a creature of water and fire, mischief and blessings. "But... I did not receive anything quite so tangible from that adventure. Isuma is a graceful little creature, though, snowy white fur and brilliant blue primary feathers, with golden eyes and little black beak. She is very dear to me."

Sam's optimism was a painful reminder of what could never be, according to the very gods of this place. From Safrin and the Voice it had been made clear that there was no going back, no return to what had once been.

And in truth he wouldn't want to go back, not even for the original Isuma or his friend Hiraku. He had gained too much, learned too much, become too willingly bound to Caido and those who lived there.

"Perhaps," was all he murmured, before ducking his head in response to Sam's praise and belief in him. He hadn't realized how badly he'd needed to hear those words until he did, and then he managed a sad smile for his friend that warmed a little at the mention of bookmaking. "Of course," he murmured. "What have you been thinking of?"

"She sounds..cute, though I think that may be an inappropiate word for a Gryphon." Sam laughed a little and shrugged, unsure of how to speak of such a special pet. Having a cat just wasn't quite as glamourous, no matter how sweet Mia was. Jigano seemed saddened by his suggestion of seeing Isuma again. Sam chewed at his lip, wondered why. It was just as possible she could come here as Jigano go back to her, and...everything here changed so often. He would not find himself incredibly surprised if a way to go back to Outlander worlds was discovered. He had become accustomed to world-shaking events in the last year, felt now like most things were possible if someone wanted it to happen enough. But those thoughts aside, Jigano asked for his book ideas, and he always had plenty. "Well. A few things. In Deepfrost I spoke to Ronin about making a book of songs from his world, and now that he's back...I might make that, along with some other verses or songs I can find from other Outlanders. Then I should like to make a book on the Fae. And continue my myth collection, of course, and the diaries of the guild. ...There is a lot for me to be doing, isn't there? Gosh." He smiled and looked down into his tea. "It is nice, actually. To be needed. To have my work used and appreciated. It would...make Cornelius proud." There was a sadness in his voice but the smile still remained, Sam casting a nostalgic glance toward the fire. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"It would be inappropriate for the gryphons of my world," Jigano admitted with a hint of his old humor. "But for Isuma the word is a perfect fit." Though he preferred 'adorable,' personally. Perhaps Sam would come around to it once he actually met her. And with luck Mia would like her. He wasn't too worried about the reverse; Isuma liked almost everyone on first meeting, at least unless they threatened him or raised their voice against him.

Jigano was surprised to hear that Sam and Ronan had discussed songs. The Guildmaster was full of surprises, it seemed, and he decided he was bemused rather than hurt that Sam hadn't come to him with such a project. "If I can help in any way, just let me know," he murmured, wondering if the ginger bookmaker had already forgotten of his side job at the tavern. "How would you make a book on the Fae, though?" Given that it seemed like the creatures had kidnapped their friends, they might not be amenable to being written about... but he'd let Samuel decide how best to overcome that hurdle. Perhaps tomorrow would bring some answers for him to begin writing down.

"There is always work for the Guild's Chronicler," Jigano agreed with a faint, sad smile, reminded again of how so many in the Guild were now missing. "Cornelius was your mentor in bookmaking, yes? I wish I could have met him. What was he like?"

"Then I look forward to seeing her." He smiled, though he was still a little nervous. Perhaps it was just the word Gryphon, which sounded like something the Monster Hunter's guild might go after. Sam did not notice or think of why Jigano may be offended about the book of songs. To him it was simple: Ronin had mentioned it to him first, and Jigano was simply in the list of other Outlanders who may have verses to ask about later. "Of course! I shall ask you for songs too. I was thinking I could arrange them roughly by the most appropriate season." How would he make a book about the Fae? Sam opened his mouth to respond then realised he actually didn't have a wonderful answer to that question. He paused to consider it, frowning and looking out the window. "I suppose I will have to conduct interviews with those who have gotten close to them or been captured. When we rescue them. And...perhaps in the future if we make peace, I can go and speak with the Fae themselves." It was a sentiment filled with yet more optimism, odd for Sam yet he didn't seem to notice it, blind to his own unrealistic hopes when it came to his work. Jigano asked about Cornelius and Sam smiled, a little sadly. No one had asked him about his mentor before, not really. It still hurt to think of, to speak of, especially after what he'd seen in the Spire. "He was...wonderful. I was...kicked out from home, nowhere to go, and he took pity on me as I was crying by his book stall in the market. He let me live here, in his house, and taught me the trade. He...was a tough teacher and often quite harsh, in some ways, but not like my parents were. I know he loved me, he was--was m-" Sam cleared his throat, the threatening tears clear in the wobbling tone of his voice. "More of a father to me than my real one. He left me the house, and the stall, and all he had when he died. His own children died some years before we met. ...I do miss him terribly. I...saw something that was pretending to be him at the Spire, but...it wasn't real." It couldn't have been. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"Is there a season in Caido for love?" Jigano asked a little ruefully, thinking of how many ballads he knew. "For war? For drinking? At least, many of the songs I know fit into those categories. I've a few songs for winter, for planting, and for harvest, but most..." He gave a little shrug, suspecting Ronin's songs were mostly the same. He hadn't really considered songs as being 'seasonal' before, and most of the songs he'd heard Amalia sing were more to do with the individual gods than seasons, but Sam grew up here and would know the local music better than an Outlander did. Perhaps there were seasons for such things here after all. "But either way, I'd be happy to offer what I have for your project."

He was even more surprised at the sudden shift from Sam's earlier fear and pessimism to the unexpected idealism and certainty that not only were the missing people alive, but that the Fae would be willing to speak to him in the future, in spite of how likely it was that the mysterious people had kidnapped his guildmates without warning or reason. Jigano hesitated only a moment before nodding cautious encouragement, unsure of how to take this abrupt switch in outlook but not wanting to bring back the doom and gloom of before.

He had known something of Sam's past before, from the bits and ends that the bookmaker had shared, the misery when he looked at the painting of his family, his description of their lack of love and understanding. He knew that his friend had been taught the art of bookmaking and inherited his stall from a mentor of some sort, but this was the first time he had heard the man's name or any depth of detail about him. The bard listened curiously, fingers still stroking lightly over Mia's back as he gave his friend the courtesy of his full attention. He glanced away only briefly to give Sam a chance to recollect himself when his voice wavered, but he was proud of his friend when the Ascended man continued resolutely, voice firming with pride in the old man. "I think he would be proud of you," Jigano offered gently. "More and more with every day. Whatever shadow you met in the Spire was likely just that - a memory, nothing more. Though... I never did hear what you endured to reach the top. Would you share that story with me, please?"

Sam understood the point of Jigano's wistful thoughts, but disagreed with them. "Well...yes. Longheat is the season of love. War could be Longheat or Deepfrost, depending on the attitude of the soldiers. Drinking, well that's...hm. I would have to read the song. But my inclination would be Leafchange." He shrugged. "They do not have to be strict categories. I just...would like to decorate the book on the theme of the seasons." Jigano was sure that what he had seen in the Spire was a ghost, an illusion, but Sam could never fully convince himself of that. The delusion fit too well into his paranoia, his fears, for his mind to simply let it go. When Jigano asked him to describe the Spire he desperately wanted to refuse, but he couldn't find it in him to deny his friend. "..Well..um. I'm not really sure why I went in the first place. I wanted to be important, I suppose. As soon as we got in...I saw a man die. I d-don't know who he was. An Ascended, but I had never met him before. He was crushed." Sam closed his eyes tight shut as if it would block away the memories of Aedion's death. "Anyway...we got upstairs from there, and there was a room...filled with dead people. Cornelius was there, and he wouldn't let me past, and Zariah killed hers and I thought it had to be an illusion so..." When he opened his eyes they were glazed over, distant. "I hit him with the cube. And he did fall and I could get through, but then...I received the same blow. Remi saved me, actually." He touched the side of his head where the corner of the cube had hit. "Then...it gets vague for me after that. I did not stay very long after we had saved the Core." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"Ah, on my world spring - Flowerbirth - is the season for love," Jigano murmured, knowing that he would have been blushing had their situation not been so dire and their guildmates missing and in trouble. "But the theme is a good one, and I look forward to seeing how you organize the book according to Caido's traditions. Something new for me to learn," he offered, forcing a small smile at the optimism and innocence of their conversation.

It couldn't last, of course, and soon enough the topic turned dark and Jigano watched his friend with sympathy in blue eyes. The Ascended had taken the brunt of the Spire's anger, it had seemed, with one dead on both paths while their self-proclaimed leader had stood safe outside, letting her minions sacrifice everything so she could... what? Gloat? But Sam had continued to speak and Jigano frowned as he tried to follow his friend's usual chopped-up vagueness that hid information behind a story with more questions than answer. "So they were like... ghosts? Zombies?" he hazarded about the 'room full of dead people.' "And Zariah killed her... her what? Dead people that belonged to her? But they were already dead, you said..." He tilted his head at his friend, a bit bewildered as he stopped petting Mia and rubbed at his temple. "How did Remi save you? Was he inside the Spire, too?" Jigano didn't remember seeing the alchemist among those gathered that night, but he had been distracted with those who had gone in first... and then rescuing the idiots who had went down instead of up. "And what is 'the Core?'

"Hm. You'd think from my diaries it was Deepfrost..." Sam mumbled. He did not blush either, but it was more from a lack of blood than a sense of propriety. "I suppose it shall have to depend on the poem." Jigano asked of ghosts and zombies and Sam shook his head. He wasn't sure quite what he had seen in that room, but neither of those words felt right. "No. They looked as if they were alive, as you would see them just...just like you see me now. Everyone was drinking, and happy. And Zariah...well, we all seemed to have people that were connected to us. I believe hers was..was Ronin." The details of the Spire were getting mixed up in his head, he knew, as time went by. That tended to happen with hard memories; they would tangle and change until he was no longer sure if they were real. But he tried his best to answer Jigano's questions, always desperate to please. "I ran away from the Spire and into town, and I fell in the street. I was...very hurt. Remi found me, and took me in, let me...ah...drink..." He looked off, chewing nervously at his thumbnail at this detail. "The Core...did you not...see her? The...woman..girl...inside the Spire. Who was trapped there. The Voice...is her Voice. They are the same. ...I....think." He was not a master in Ascended theology. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child