The Disappearing Light

The bard courteously didn't pry into Sam's journal entries, knowing only a little of what had passed between him and the alchemist when they had been together, and not wanting to know more of what had clearly been a private and personal connection. Instead he focused on the events of the Spire, and the strange room full of the dead. Memories given life, or something more sinister? At least his friend's description didn't sound like zombies or ghouls or revenants or any of the more unpleasant forms Jigano was used to the unquiet dead taking, and he nodded thoughtfully, wondering if perhaps Ludo, with his fondness for memories, had been involved somehow? Hearing that Zariah had killed Ronin a second time - or at least, some version of Ronin, illusion or memory or spirit - didn't much surprise him. She hadn't seemed to hold much sentiment in the time he had known her. But that Samuel had killed his mentor, or at least something that seemed to be his mentor, in cold blood...

"You must have been desperate to reach the top," he said carefully, wondering if Sam would so quickly raise his hand against the bard in a similar situation, if he thought the Jigano before him wasn't real. If he would be so willing to risk it. "To risk hurting - killing again - the spirit or memory of the man who had been your father, with your own two hands." It was not the kindest thing to say, by far, but the bard found himself chilled to the bone at the thought of his gentle friend raising his hand and using his enhanced strength not in anger, but simply because someone was in his way and he had convinced himself that hurting them wouldn't matter. That was the first step down the road his previous friends had taken, and Jigano found himself not merely chilled but ice cold as he realized the connections.

"Ah, that was the Core? I was injured myself by the time I made it up there, trying to pull Lucas and Roana from the basement of the Spire." He grimaced slightly at the memory, of the great serpent, of Roana flinging herself into the light of the portal, of the poison seeping through his mask and into his lungs, his eyes, his blood. "My memories of the aftermath are a bit hazy. But that is interesting to know. Interesting indeed... but no closer to retrieving our friends from the woods and the Fae who likely have her." He gave Mia a final pat as he stood and cracked his weary back. "When the current crisis is passed, we should look into that more. Find out what we can about these young gods now that they are free. But for now..." He offered his friend a wan smile. "I should let you rest and gather what supplies you'll need for tomorrow. Thank you again for offering to come, Sam. It means a great deal to me, and I will be in your debt."

"...If I am to be honest, I was...I've heard it called disassociating...I did not feel as if it were me in my own body anymore. It....happens to me often. Not that that's an excuse to do horrible things, but.." Sam sighed, the breath coming out shaky and unsure. He had had this conversation with himself many times in the dead of night, whispering to the reflection in his window, but had never come up with an answer to the question: Was it the right thing to do? The way Jigano put it, your own two hands...he shook his head and clutched at his arms. Oh, with this and what he had done to Remi, his guildmaster had to hate him now! "...It was an awful thing to have to do. But for all I knew, if we did not continue in the Spire, it could have terrible consequences for all of Caido. And Zariah did it so easily..I assumed she had to know it was a trick.." He was babbling now, clearly trying to find excuses. Jigano stood and he nodded, not looking him in the eyes. "I will be there at the forest when I am needed." Feeling he had ruined his standing in his friends eyes entirely by this point, he stood and went to open the door, desperately needing to be alone so he could curl in bed and think over it all. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Jigano kept a brow from raising only from iron self-control when he heard that Sam disassociated 'often.' It was unsettling to hear, not least from someone he had just come to for help and the intention of trusting his back to. What would he do if Sam disassociated tomorrow and precipitated a conflict with a hasty act of violence? But it was too late to go back now. Perhaps it was something they could discuss later - but not too much later. It seemed to cause his friend great distress, understandably so, and if a solution could be found to stop it from happening and give Sam control back, it would be worth pursuing. "If the Old Gods are to believed, there may yet be terrible consequences from releasing the Voice and Core upon the world once more," Jigano said softly. But that was a worry for another day, now. That Zariah, a woman with whom Jigano had interacted only briefly and found to be quite rude, had no problem killing people was no surprise to the bard. A sociopath, perhaps? He wouldn't be surprised...

"Good night, Sam," Jigano said, clasping his friend's shoulder briefly before heading back out into the night once more.