[Training] threading the needle

WESSEX out of the night that covers me She chuckles. Essentially is not the same as yes, but it gives her a sense of what Rexanna is really on about. And to her credit, Wessex is patient in this explanation, because deep down, while she may scorn the weaker of their kind, she would very much like a kind of sister. Not a Magrethe-type sister, but someone who doesn’t elicit so much… incompetence as half their kind, or border on the edge of is untrustworthy, like Lucas. “Babies are out. We aren’t ‘human.’ Our biological needs and functions are taken away in the Ascending process, replaced with I guess what would be called regulating ‘systems.’ Which is… interesting. You don’t have to breathe. You don’t have to pee, or eat, or drink. No pain, either. Pleasure comes with biting, and though I’ve never bitten another Ascended, I can imagine it might be better than biting a normal person.” She shrugs in her speculation, going through the list of key things she’s learned about herself in the past year and a half. The cool thing then is that she also imagines they could just like, walk under water for days if need be. They don’t need to worry about packing rations or carrying water with them. They can go into the places another human might be terrified to go into, or be unable to go into. She wishes she had known Isla, the doctor who decided to Ascend. She’d heard the woman was kind, potentially unlike anyone else in their logic-filled, often selfish, ambitious group. Their Lady tends to attract a certain type. Rexanna would put a nice little variation into But at the mention of her boyfriend, Wessex stills. She puts the arrow and the knife down and turns to Rexanna. Her tone turns very serious, a contrast to the light-hearted information she was giving only moments before. “Rexanna. I’m sure you’ve considered it, but I have to emphasize that this isn’t something you should do because of someone else. It must be for you. It’ll irreversibly change your life and if it’s not something you truly want, or if you’re feeling pressure from someone else, it could create some serious resentment and regret. Some things you may not like can be fixed… but you can’t Un-Ascend.” You won’t be able to stand in the sunlight for a very long time. And the night… it can change you, if you let it. As for her blonde brother… she makes a face. “Lucas only cares about himself. I'm also selfish, but I don't mind answering questions. Anything else?” She still has mixed feelings about the man. He’s great when they can unite under what their mother needs, but with the confession that he’d just as likely stab her in the back, she has become quite cautious about what she will reveal to him. black as the pit from pole to pole i thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul

REXANNA

for a time it seemed to me that we were

starlight-touched

There’s this familiarity that Rexanna finds when Wessex explains, more like a teacher and dare she think friend amidst everything else going on. It’s a kind of comfort she didn’t know she needed until Wessex gives it, the hard truths that only someone like the Ascended woman could give. And luckily for Wessex, Rexanna is a level headed woman. She sees both sides of the coin, it is how she’s learned to adapt and change, and shift from her old ways. She likes to think she tries hard at it, but now it comes comfortably to her. And when Wessex mentions no children, she offers a nod. She knew that much, and even though she would love to bear a child one day, she’s still certain she can’t. So what’s the harm in that? At least there might be children around that she can visit. Perhaps it is enough.

When Wessex continues on and speaks of not needing to breathe, it catches her attention with interest. She’s never experienced not needing to breathe, and she’s certain it takes some kind of adjustment period to get used to. The rest of everything seem like perks to her, no pain, no becoming cold and too hot. But there is one question on her mind. “Will you ever get to feel the sun again?” The question is perhaps a bit quiet, but there’s hope within it. The sun, the feeling of the warmth on her face, some of the only things that kept her sane enough when she was locked away and freed. A reminder that there’s warmth in the world if you knew where to look. She thinks that will be the hardest part for her.

But as she expresses the mention of Bastien asking the Voice, she notices Wessex’s tone change and her work stall. Her head lifts as Wessex gives her the cold hard truths and she nods in understanding. “It’s why I’ve bided my time.” She admits at first, offering Wessex a smile. “I learned from Frey that I need to do things for myself. They placed a curse on me until I learned my mistakes. But—” She pauses, gesturing to her face and how clean and striking her skin is regardless of the work and running they had done, how she should have a small amount of sweat and misplaced hairs, how they never made an appearance. “—I must have proved myself enough to be blessed by them and the curse removed.” She shrugs, and her tone grows more serious too.

“I want to become something better. I have become a pawn of Zariah because of my magic and I want a way out, I want to be able to fight back, to fight against any other kind of injustices out there. I can’t do it on my own, and the Voice saved me once.” Her eyes drift from Wessex briefly to look out over the field. “I have been in some very dark places and I no longer want to be helpless. This world has given me magic, yes, but.” She pauses as she looks to Wessex again, a kind of steel in her sapphire shadowed gaze. “I want to be able to better protect myself, to never let what happened to me happen again and I am walking so closely down that path with no way of escape other than to become useless and powerful in other ways.”

She doesn’t know why she tells Wessex all this, but there’s this strange sense within her that perhaps Wessex might understand. And even if Bastien hadn’t asked her to, and she hadn’t gotten wrapped up with Zariah, she sees her path leading the same way. It’s the only thing she can think of or see anymore, her own excuses fading in the light of what she could become. And she wants to become it, she wants people to be afraid of hurting her, she wants to fight back.

Her thoughts are pulled away as Wessex remarks about Lucas and she snorts in response. “He has this awful way of giving a roundabout answer that I just don’t care to decipher.” She adds with a quiet laugh. “I think you’ve about covered all the questions I had. I really appreciate it; there are many here that sugar coat everything when you really just need someone to tell it to you straight.” She gives Wessex a wider smile in response to it, thankful for the answering of questions and the training. And there’s a part of her that’s hopeful this won’t be the last.

failing to realize we were actually

starcrossed

the stars were never

on our side