Born are Miracles

PHOEBE

Phoebe didn't respond to his statement, nor did she pull away from his touch. He was too kind for his own good, and certainly didn't realize how much happier he would be if he didn't have to deal with her and her hot mess of a life constantly. But she was glad he felt as positive as he did. She was glad he was happy.

Her blonde head bobbed as he asked after what she meant. "It's...your wedding present. But I needed to be tipsy to tell you because I am a wimp." she said. "And it is from Frey too - which you should know they have no hard feelings towards you." she said with a small smile. "I asked them if there was a way that...if you and Ronin wanted a child that was yours, of the both of you not one and a woman, they said they could make that happen. And I would carry it for you both." she said.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

"You did not need to—" Remi started to say, get us anything, he meant to conclude, though the words stopped short as she mentioned she needed to be tipsy in order to properly tell him. That certainly caused his brows to knit together.

The mention of Frey however had him promptly sitting up to regard his friend, the mention of a child, of it being his and Ronins, of Phoebe carrying it had him all but dry-mouthed and blank stares.

And of course, for all of his gentleness and kindness, Remi was at his core, a very stupid and naive man. And so he said, "...what?"

PHOEBE

Were her spirits not dampened she probably would have laughed at the way his face looked when she explained the gift. If he kept looking at her like she had two heads it might not be so hard to tell him just how it was they were supposed to make this happen! "I said, if you and Ronin wanted to have a child that was both of yours, I have spoken to Frey, and they agreed to make it possible with my offer to carry the child." she repeated.

Phoebe took a sip from her glass, looking down at the amber liquid before smiling at her friend. "I know it is probably something you've never considered possible under the circumstances. But I've seen you with Aoife and thought...maybe it was something you wished you could have. And I know how hard it is to want something you can't have so...I wanted you to have the option."[/say,]

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

Repeating it was not what Remi had meant, but it helped...sort of. At least he knew he hadn't misheard. Confusion still coloured the alchemist's boyish features as his head softly shook. "I—" He tried, and failed. "—we—" Nope, that didn't work either.

Swiping a hand across his eyes and tugging in a breath, Remi tried again.

"How?"

PHOEBE

"That's the part I need to be tipsy for." she said, tipping back her head and downing her glass of whiskey. By now the burn in her throat was leading to a warmth in her tummy and a sort of dizzy feeling in her head. A lovely, warm sort of dizzy feeling that helped to drown out all of her insecurities, all of her sadness, all of her pain. She was just floating on a whiskey fueled cloud.

Still, the thought of saying it made her cheeks turn red.

"Well it's Frey so, clearly they have their preferences." she said, wishing that was enough for Remi to get it. But she knew it wouldn't so she quickly refilled her glass and took another drink, holding out the bottle to Remi should he wish for something stronger in the wake of what she was about to say. "We gotta have a threesome, and you both gotta make me orgasm. And well...clearly you both have to too for more technical reasons." she said, focusing on enunciating but feeling it slip a bit.

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

While Phoebe apparently gathered her nerve, Remi picked up his wine glass. Sipping at the sweet white contents and feeling a steady chill beginning to form at the base of his spine, the alchemist was entirely unprepared for what came next.

..threesome...

...both gotta make me orgasm...

..you both have to too...

Remi started into his cup, the wine burning in his throat as it closed entirely, his pale stare wide and shocked and completely unprepared for what he had just heard. Holding onto the last remaining bit of air in his lungs, that which hadn't been expelled awkwardly into his glass, Remi merely stared at Phoebe for a long moment.

"wh—" He started, lips opening and closing, all sorts of half-formed thoughts going unsaid. Pulling in a breath, brows rising and falling and crinkling as just about every emotion it was possible for someone to feel breezed across Remi's face, he finally pulled in a lungful of air, set down his wine glass and tried again.

"What??!"

PHOEBE

She had expected him to be shocked. Horrified. Amused. Disgusted even. But she hadn't exactly been prepared for him to be sent so reeling that he spit his wine into his cup. Quickly she drank down the rest of the whiskey in her glass, feeling her head and the world around her begin to spin to keep herself from being mortified. "Look, I mean, I don't make the rules okay?" she said, a slight slur in her words as she sighed heavily.

"So I'll explain it again." she sighed, her head falling back dramatically. "So Frey isn't like the Voice and doesn't just go implanting babies in people so we gotta have sex. That's how nature makes babies. So that's why both you and Ronin gotta cum in a girl cause neither of you have the right parts to carry it, and I do so that's why I gotta be there. Then Frey will work their god powers and the baby will be both yours and Ronin's, not mine. I'm just the oven for your adorable green-eyed baby bun. And Frey added on that both you and Ronin gotta make me cum too cause I'm going through an awful lot of trouble to make you this offer - which I am. I am pullin' in divine intervention and offering to carry and birth a baby for you which is really hard work okay? I'm not trying to be creepy or weird that's just really what they said. And they know you don't like girls and that I'm awkward so they gave me this potion even so that no one's anythings get in the way."

By this point in the ramble, Phoebe had slid down until she was laying down, feeling the world spin on its axis. "I know it's really weird. I know. But...you have the option. That is all it's about."

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

Phoebe tried to explain, only...only...

WHAT

was basically all his mind could think.

Huffing in a breath as if that would somehow kickstart his mind into understanding this, Remi narrowed his eyes as he tried to follow alone with Phoebe's increasingly strange explanation.

Right. Orgasms for Phoebe. Sure. Why not, that only made sense. Honestly, that wasn't the part he didn't really understand.

"Uhmm..." Remi whispered, swallowing as he watched Phoebe all but dissolve into the grass. Leaning over her and looking for signs that she might be slightly concussed (he'd gotten very good at this, having lived with Ronin for so long), he ruffled a hand through his curls. "Okay. Okay. I understand that Frey can...make this happen. That aside...Phoebe..." Remi trailed off, squinting up towards the sky for a moment, before looking down at his friend. "A potion that makes no one's anything get in the way? Can you really imagine what it would be like to wake up and know that you had sex with me?" He asked. For whatever charm he had, for whatever it was the likes of Ianto, and Sam, and Ronin had seen in him, surely Phoebe did not. This potion might grant a reprieve for a night, but that would hardly limit the consequences of all the mornings after.

PHOEBE

Nope. Not concussed. Just very, very drunk with a very bad case of the spins. But she didn't mind. She rather liked the spinny feeling. It reminded her of playground toys that her brother would spin until she flew off into the grass.

She half-sighed, half-groaned, pulling herself up so she could see Remi better. Clearly she was trying to make herself look serious, but it looked more like a comical impression of someone being serious. "I can think of wayyyyyy worse people to have sex with, okay? Like...I've had sex with worse people." she said, snorting a bit as she dissolved into a fit of snickers. "But look, that isn't even the point. I would do anything for you Remi and if you want a baby and this is how it has the happen then this is how it has to happen. It's not about having sex with you it's about helping you have a baby that is yours. That's it." she said and shrugged. "It's not like the potion takes away my ability to say yes or no, it just means I'll be the most inexperienced participant...rather than the most inexperienced and awkward participant." She said, snickering again.

"But you don't gotta either. If it's too weird for you or you just don't want a baby it's fine. It's just...there for you. You're not confined by the fact that you don't like girls so that means you can't make a baby with the person you do love."

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

Remi winced slightly as Phoebe sat up, her face suddenly very close, her expression absurdly comical. "You do not mean that." He said softly, knowing full well that she'd only slept with Emmett. Not that Remi had the experience to talk, but he was quite sure sex with someone you loved was much better than it could be with anyone else (was that actually true? No. Probably not at all).

As she continued though, Remi merely shook his head, reaching out to move a strand of hair out of her eyes. "But Phoebe, Aoife is mine." He said softly. "Not biologically, no...but I cared for her when both Ronin and Vanya were gone. And ever since he came back, it ... it has never really been a question.". Indeed, the starry-eyed child was his in every way which matter.

Trying very hard not to look properly sheepish and awkward as she referred to herself as a participant, Remi swallowed hard, looking away as crimson streaked across his cheeks. "I..." Unable truly to place this conversation in his frame of reference, not knowing where the biggest friction point was: that he and Ronin needed to have sex with Phoebe, or the implication that Aoife was not enough? "..thank you. It is a sweet gesture." He concluded a touch lamely, really having no other words to describe the altogether strangeness of this conversational path.

PHOEBE

"Yes I do." Phoebe said, wrinkling her nose. "I don't have a point of reference personally, but if some of the stuff I've heard other people talk about is true then it wasn't very good." she said. She grabbed the whiskey bottle, struggling to pour it into her cup. Some got on the blanket, but it would wash.

Somewhere, deep down, his words about Aoife clicked with something that not so drunk her would have anticipated being an issue. But only once they were out of his mouth did she realize what she might have implied. "No, I know. I know she is." Phoebe said, smiling a bit. "I didn't mean it like that I meant more like...the option to add to your family. It's not about like...not being happy with Aoife or not loving Aoife or not thinking Aoife is good enough cause you didn't make her. It's an addition to Aoife. The option for her to have a brother or sister." she sighed and looked at her cup of alcohol, brow furrowing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it sound like Aoife wasn't yours. That wasn't at all my thought when I asked Frey to help make it possible." she said.

"Is it?" she asked bluntly, alcohol making her bold. "Or are you gonna leave and avoid me forever cause it's awkward?"

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

Remi opened his mouth to disagree, but then closed it. He'd just told her that Emmett had died and to hear her speak so ill of him made something in him shiver. It was likely the grief, the alcohol, and the shock talking. He'd not hold it against her, but it was hard to hear nonetheless.

Trying to break through the tension and awkwardness, Remi ran a hand through his curls and tried on a laugh. "She is walking and talking now. I literally cannot even imagine juggling another."

Looking at Phoebe, Remi couldn't help but melt. He did adore her after all. Running a hand down the side of her cheek, his head lolled to the side as he smiled sweetly at her. "It is, and no, I am not going to avoid you forever. That being said.." Remi crinkled his nose playfully nudging her with his shoulder. "You did just say that in order to have another a child we basically had to have a threesome with my new husband. And that we would both have to make you cum—don't get me wrong, we are both very generous of course—but you have to admit, that is a bit much to hear." He said with a boyish laugh.

PHOEBE

It was exactly as Remi surmised. Grief, alcohol, and shock rarely led to good things, and in Phoebe, it gave insight into the little bit of resentment she harbored. Her anger rarely reared its ugly head, but when it did it was a doosey. No one could hold a grudge like Phoebe could, and she could and would do so to her own detriment at times. It nearly came between her and her brother once before, and still she fought with it whenever Roana was a topic of conversation. But now it had a new focus, the series of unfortunate events that plagued her most recent year, the numerous times life pulled the rug out from under her, the way she struggled to find purpose or reason to rise every morning and put on a happy face - a darkness was beginning to cloud her sunshine, and she could not see the light to find her way out.

"You say that like you have no help." Phoebe huffed at him, blowing air playfully into his face (whiskey scented air, but hey, there are worse smells). "I will babysit literally whenever. Ronin knows that even, I told him if he ever got overwhelmed when he first brought Aoife for a check up to just show up whenever, day or night. Auntie Phoebe is ready to help. So don't worry about that. Just think about if it's something you want and if it is, then it can happen." she said.

She tilted her cheek towards his hand, appreciating the affectionate gesture. "Hey." she said, pointing at him, and actually poking his nose. "You aren't allowed to hold the rules against me. I didn't make them, I am just tellin' you what they are." she huffed at him. "Just for a minute, stop thinking about the technicalities. Drink your wine and close your eyes and think about the end goal. You'd have a lil' baby with your pretty eyes and Ronin's hair all wrapped up in a blanket in your arms. Is that something you'd want?"

I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
'Cause I'm just trying to be happy

Remi the Alchemist

i've been the archer, i've been the prey

But raising a child did not mean simply taking care of it. It meant loving it unconditionally, providing for it, worrying at all hours of the day about its safety. Willingly laying down your life for it...and those were not things that could so easily be displaced by a babysitter, adoring and helpful as Phoebe would undoubtedly be.

"No, I know. All I meant is that I could not imagine wanting anything more than Aoife." He clarified, scrunching his nose at the onslaught of whiskey-breath with a smirk.

Batting his eyes with a snort, Remi shook his head. "Better it have Ronin's eyes and my hair." He corrected. But in all seriousness..."You know the expression, about the ends justifying the means? I...have rarely been that person, to think that way. Honestly I do not think I could ever risk it. I do not plan on being sexual with anyone save for Ronin ever again, nor do I want to." Nudging Phoebe again as if to say, no offense, Remi shrugged. He wasn't exactly sure whether or not it needed saying that Phoebe was not his type. Even among the women he had been with, none of them had ever been like Phoebe. "I cannot imagine a way that Ronin and I..and you—" and orgasms for all "—could ever be okay."