From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
08-04-2019, 09:19 AM (This post was last modified: 08-04-2019, 08:25 PM by Peter.)
PETER
Peter was... burnt out. It was the simplest way to explain how he felt. Nothing good had come his way in a while, at least that’s how it felt, and his training session with Edrei had been the cherry on top of everything. Not only did he feel useless and weak, but whatever she’d done, whatever magic she’d used had dredged up demons that he’d been perfectly happy suppressing.
It was early evening when he left the manor, intent on finding somewhere to be alone. He noticed, after some walking, that he was headed towards Adams home. Being alone with Adam sounded nice. It made sense if he didn’t think about it too much. He was lucky to find Adam at home, apparently catching him just before he’d been going out for the night, and with some wordless convincing Pet managed to get him to follow. Maybe it was something in his eyes, or the way he’d clung to Adams hand after he’d taken a hold of it. Peter didn’t know, he was just happy to have the other man there.
There was no plan to his path, no sense of purpose behind his steps. Pet meandered through the settlement until civilisation was replaced with scrubby brush and farmers fields, and then struggling fields and the barriers scar. The edge of the gouge in the ground seemed as good a place as any to stop, never mind the fact that this place had looked the closest to the area around Sainen, a fact Adam might pick up on if he was observant.
With a deep sigh, Pet lifted his hand, taking Adams along with it, and played with the fingers on both of their hands. There was something chewing at his throat, but if he didn’t think about the words for it, it would be unintelligible, and after the march he’d forced him on, Pet felt he owed Adam something better than that.
”Thank you. F-for following.” It was easiest to start with, and didn’t keep them locked in silence until Pet figures out what he wanted to say.
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
08-04-2019, 08:37 PM (This post was last modified: 08-04-2019, 08:44 PM by Adam.)
You've been drinking like the world was gonna end
Adam's evenings, back in his world, had been full of activity. He'd party, drink, fuck, break into houses, steal, run away...anything really. It felt like he really came alive after the sun went down, and he had always looked forward to the nights. But now, in Caido...his evenings usually amounted to drinking in the Rathskeller and wishing he was doing something important with his life.
Sure, he had friends here now, and the odd thing to do, but no...purpose. Not that he'd really had one before, but there had been enough distraction back there that it hadn't mattered.
So when Pet appeared, he was actually quite glad for the chance to get out of his routine. The way the other man held his hand gave him pause; he was embarrassed to let people around them see, but didn't let go either, not as Pet led him further and further out of town.
If he wants to hook up, he could've just come into my bed... He thought. Pet played with his fingers and Adam opened his mouth, about to ask what it is they were doing, when Pet finally spoke.
"Uh...s'okay. You...gonna tell me what it is we're doing out here, though?"
08-05-2019, 08:29 PM (This post was last modified: 08-05-2019, 08:56 PM by Peter.)
PETER
”Not... anything. We’re not... doing anything.” Peter explained, feeling self conscious suddenly. He released Adams hand and stared down at the dirt beneath his feet, grinding his heel into it. ”I just...” Sighing, Pet shrugged. ”Are you... do you ever...” Talking about feelings was not something that he had ever had the freedom to do before, and even now it was a struggle. He sat silent for a moment, then turned to look at Adam shyly.
The words still didn’t come easily, but at least they came now. ”Nothing... makes sense right now. And I... I thought maybe, I dunno... maybe things would...” He gestured, not sure what he was trying to communicate. ”It’s... quiet here, right?”
Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should have just been... alone the regular way, the way he was used to, instead of whatever this was with Adam. He sat suddenly, pulling his knees up to his chest and falling silent again.
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
"Oh. I mean...okay. I can do that." He couldn't, not really, but he managed about 10 seconds before he was tapping his foot and looking around, words he didn't even really want to say trying to push out of his mouth. Adam had never been good at quiet time.
Thankfully, Pet began to speak. "Yeah, it's quiet, but...that isn't always the best way to sort out your problems...you ever had a beer and a fuck? That can really make you feel so much better." But when he saw how Pet was sat, curled up and looking rather fragile, Adam sighed and flopped down next to him, gently patting him on the shoulder.
Pet turned to look up at Adam, his cheek resting on his knee. He didn’t know how to explain that he’d never been a ‘sort out’ kind of person, that the quiet was simply a moment of calm where he could grab the reins and get moving again. The other mans suggestion didn’t exactly sound like the best thing either though. It was another kind of ignoring it the problem.
Whwn Adam asked what was up, grabbed his shoulder, Pet turned away again, his eyes focused on something through the trees, or past the forest altogether. He wasn’t going to lie, or ignore the question, but... he needed time to put the words to it. And he couldn’t watch Adam while he spoke. He didn’t want to see the look on his face.
”I was... training with... with Edrei..” He began, picking at a loose thread in his pants. ”She used... s-something, something bad, and I... and I...” Pet could still see the mocking face when he closed his eyes, heard the cacophony of voices whenever he let his guard down. With a whine his head dipped down between his knees again, whatever words came after muffled and unintelligible.
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
"Edrei...? Oh, fire lady." Adam mumbled to himself, slowly letting go of Pet's shoulder as he seemed to move away from the touch. something bad was typically vague of Peter and he sighed, rubbed a hand over his forehead and hair. What was he meant to get from that? There was something else said too, but he didn't catch it.
"Bad? You mean like, you're hurt?" He asked, looking Pet over, leaning about to try and get a better view. "If you were just training, she shouldn't hurt you. Tell her that. Hell, I will, if you want."
"No, not... not hurt like that." Pet clenched his hands, a sting flaring up where he had been burned. "Not really like that... have you... do you..." He stuttered over false starts, wondering how to ask this question of Adam without sharing too much of his own brokenness. "Theres... things you don't wanna... think about, or talk about, right?"
Pet shifted again, trying to open up and not close himself off. He was still careful to not look at Adam, but this was still an improvement. "She... Edrei, I mean, she.. made me remember... things like that. And I... I don't know." There was a crack in his voice on the last word. This was stupid. Stupid.
"I-I... I'm sorry. You... you can go. If you want."
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
08-10-2019, 05:42 PM (This post was last modified: 08-10-2019, 05:42 PM by Adam.)
Adam
Some things you do just to see how bad they'll make you feel
Sometimes you try to freeze time 'til the slots are a blur of spinning wheels
"Theres... things you don't wanna... think about, or talk about, right?"
As soon as he heard the question there was an immediate and reactionary answer from Adam: a definite no, a rejection of vulnerability. But he managed to catch it on his tongue and push it down. Pet deserved his honesty (or at least as close as he got), especially when he was being so open himself.
"..Yeah, there are. I know what you mean." An iron grate, blood running into his eyes and the laughs of the noble people beneath.
Pet was still confusing him, first with what exactly Edy had done and secondly with an apology he didn't understand the necessity of. "No, no, you're fine. It's fine. I just...you mean she like, started talking about shit in your past in the middle of a fight? That's fucking off, if she did. Just kinda dickish, and it's not likely anyone you're gonna fight out there would do that."
But I am just a broken machine
And I do things that I don't really mean
In the moments it took Adam to answer, Peter wrung his hands, afraid of somehow driving Adam off. Someone like Adam being willing to spend time with him was a mostly foreign concept to Peter. A concept made doubly baffling considering Adam didn’t seem to want from him. And... Adam had come with him now, when he needed some company.
Adams company, specifically. Pet just wasn’t quite ready to have that thought.
Hearing that he wasn’t alone in having dark secrets was a relief to Pet, in some strange way. There was a reason they were dark secrets, people didn’t talk about them. To Prt, it sometimes felt like maybe he was just Like That. His energy shifted, suddenly he wanted to rush through his explanation as quickly as possible, just to be done with it and on to something else.
”No, she... it... I-I.. I felt it. Like magic. But not... not anything I’ve seen. Or heard of. She moved her hands....” Pet gestured with his own, mimicking the thrusting motion she had made. ”... and then... I heard... I heard people. And saw...” There was that anxiety, that terror borne tremble in his voice.
Even refreshing the image in his head was effective it seemed. Something about that seemed unfair. Pet wrapped both his arms around his stomach like he was sick. ”It... I didn't um, don’t... I’m not good with... bad head things. So I wanted... wanted to be alone? But... with you? ...stupid.” The last part was mumbled under his breath, his inelegant words bothering him more than usual.
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
Adam, who was unused to magic still, could only sort of grasp the concept Pet was trying to communicate. But what he could understand,what was obvious,was that Pet was upset. Usually, Adam did not give one fuck about people's upset, but now...for some reason, it pulled at his heart to think of his friend hurting.
After a moment's hesitation (trying to ignore the comment about being 'alone with you', not liking how...affectionate it sounded) he leaned over and wrapped an arm around Pet's shoulders, trying to pull him closer and rest Pet's head on his shoulder. "You don't have to say sorry as much as you do, you know." He said softly, stroking his thumb up and down on Pet's back.
"Look...whatever Edy did to you, made you..think about, it sounds fucked up. So you got two choices, I think. You can dwell on it and be miserable, or you can move on, make out with someone, drink and party and forget about it. I know which I'd rather do." Perhaps Adam's own flawed life philosophy was painfully obvious from this advice, but it was truly meant.
Adams touch was met with hardly a breath of hesitation, Pet leaning in against the other man at the slightest invitation. His eyes were closed tightly, he wasn’t sure he could keep from tearing up any other way. There was another apology on his lips, for taking up space, being a bother, making Adam do this, but the words died in Pets throat.
Saying that whatever Edy had done to him sounded fucked up was an understatement. It was fucked up. Pet shifted, and looked up at Adam as he spoke about choices. ”Never... never had one of... one of those.” He said softly, looking lik he was considering the idea.
”I... I dunno if I can do... do that. I... I never uh... I’ve never done anything like it. The second thing.” When would be have had the chance? Adam had already helped so much, he couldn’t possibly ask for more, for a guiding hand, so Peter left it at that, if Adam offered to take him along to whatever his cool guy stuff was, Pet wouldn’t say no.
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
The speed and willingness with which Pet accepted his embrace suprised Adam but he said nothing of it, scared that acknowledging the moment might scare it away. Instead he snuggled closer, found his lips going to kiss Pet's temple; an automatic action, perhaps one too warm for the relationship they had.
"Well...that's kinda the cool thing about this whole weird Caido business, right? We can get fresh starts here, as messed up as this place is." A hopeful smile graced Adam's face as he heard the words for himself too, for once realising the opportunity that the new world could be instead of a fresh backdrop for the same mistakes.
But if those mistakes would lead to Pet finally having a good time...for just a moment Adam hesitated, lips just parted and taking in a breath, but then: "Well, how about we smoke a couple things and I'll take you back home? I even know where we could go to find a party, if you wanted."
As lips brushed against his head, Pet let his eyes flutter closed. He would almost be peaceful looking, if it wasn’t for the furrow in his brows. It was still an improvement though, compared to his earlier panic.
A fresh start. The idea was nice. That was all it was though. Pet knew better than to think that this was a fresh anything. Especially considering what he’d gone through earlier. There was no redemption from what was in his head, only running, and forgetting, and stuffing it so deep down he never thought about it. He shifted then, opening his eyes and looking up at Adam like he was searching for something.
”I... I think that sounds... good.” Pet nodded against Adams shoulder. ”Maybe... maybe not the... not the party. B-but... home, and... the other stuff.”
Distance, distance keeps you safe
And I don't wanna scare you away
You're laughing cause it's funny
How you're fooling everybody but me
"You do?" Adam asked, a little surprised; people like Pet, quiet and respectable, rarely thought he had good ideas. Though he supposed Pet was a mix. A bit quiet, a bit shy, but from a similar kind of world as Adam (as well as the same literal world) - one of seedy dark bars, midnight deals and knives in the back. "Then lets go. I'll roll you a smoke on the way. It's one of my talents."
Standing up and leaning down to lift Pet to his feet, Adam quickly took out some rolling papers and holding them to his chest with his chin, managed to roll a joint (containing a list of herbs that would make a chemist in his old world blush) that he passed over to Pet. "Here. That'll make you forget you've ever been sad in your whole goddamn life."
Of course, he wasn't going to let Pet have all the fun himself. With a smoke for his own lips too, they were off, back home; where he planned for there to be making out and a nap. The perfect evening, though he wouldn't admit that to anyone with his partying reputation.
His hand on Pet's lower back as they walked into his home, he realised a part of why it was perfect was his friend's presence, the easy way Pet had seemed to slot into the role of companion, lover. Turning to walk up the stairs, he reminded himself that the role could be easily filled, but always emptied just when he got used to it.
