Forget-You-Not

I need you. Three simple little words that struck deep and caused his own eyes to widen, some of the darkness recoiling to reveal their more usual blue. How long had it been since he'd heard that? How long since anyone had trusted him enough to need him? For a moment his expression softened and he started to reach out a tentative hand, as if to brush shaking fingers over Kiada's arm.

Ludo needs. Two simple little words that struck deep and froze the expression on his face for a moment before the blackness came rushing back. His lips quirked up in the hint of a humorless smile as he drew his hand back, tucking it back into his lap to hide the way his fingers curled into a fist. The physical pain distracted from the emotional as he forced himself to nod. He had already offered, after all, but that had been his own idea, a desire to help stemming from his own flickering care for the young woman beside him. The blight was making it harder and harder to focus on what the people he loved meant to him, but it hadn't yet overcome him completely. Not all the time, at any rate. He tried to remind himself that the same was true for Kiada, that the reason she wasn't asking for his help - was simply telling him to do so - was because of the Blight. That surely he was more than just a tool for her, a convenient collection of items and knowledge to be used and then discarded with her passage?

Surely...

He focused on her last words as she looked away, drawing a shuddering breath and letting it out slowly as he held Amalia's face steady in his thoughts. Be better, she had said, but gods least fortunate it was so hard to try sometimes...

"Did Ludo give you a way to kill his spirit?" he asked carefully, hoping the pain he felt wasn't too obvious in his voice. "Or... did they expect his body to be walking on Long Night? Like some sort of... of ghoul or zombie?"

KIADA

Oh, Ludo needs Jigano for the lantern. Kiada needs Jigano for a bit of everything. While she has accepted the apology, she has not forgiven him yet. But it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t think she’ll need him. He knows enough of her history, enough of her fears. He is a companionship of hers, however strained. And she needs him for the comfort of someone entering the dark with her, the unknown. Last time she had Auni, and she wonders in her trembling, exhausted, sickened state, if bringing the Luxere would help or push away the creature they’d seek.

She just can’t admit that it’s the entire reason she needs him. So she lets him take it as he will.

Her eyes remain on the fire as Jigano’s words hit her ears and she shakes her head slowly, blinking away a small amount of the black veined shadows beneath her eyes as she looks back to the bard. “Ludo does not know what he will be. I asked.” She pauses, to puff her own sigh out as she lets her gaze drop again. “It told me to not go unprepared, to not go off alone especially if I am tempted.” A light frown finds her face as she looks back to Jigano with a sad smile.

“I want this to work so badly Jigano.” Her voice almost breaks and she averts her gaze, the blankets shifting over her shoulders until they land in the crooks of her elbows.

Kiada's attention had been on the fire while he wrestled with emotions darker and crueler - both to himself and to her - than he should ever have had to face. He was briefly glad that she had missed the conflict within him, turned inwards as she was and focused on the ghost of her lost love. Would he be any different, were Rory or Amalia's soul to be lost in such a way? The stronger part of him, the part that was weakening and fading by the day, acknowledged that he would likely be no less oblivious to the people around him, even without the excuse of the blight.

The shadowed part of him, the part that stretched and slithered through his thoughts more easily with every passing hour, that part scoffed and sneered and railed against Kiada's selfishness and his own weak-hearted willingness to help someone who had caused him such pain already.

Hearing that even Ludo did not know what the lost souls had become, however, was far from reassuring, especially in their current states: weakened bodies, shaking hands, failing hearts. It would be dangerous, probably even deadly. But then, the bard had expected that when he'd asked for a lantern to go monster hunting with, hadn't he? It was nothing he had not already been willing to do. It was simply that, this time, he had a specific target for his search and his song. He reached out and this time he didn't stop himself as he brushed back a lock of hair from Kiada's face if she would let him, his expression grim but determined. "And the monsters will tempt you... tempt us. Last year they were able to get inside our heads, those of us who went outside to fix the perch. We'll want to tie ourselves together with a rope or something that you can't cut. Maybe Remi can make one. Auni's light will hopefully protect us from the worst of it, especially if we can touch his horns while we walk..." He sighed, letting his hand fall again as the brief burst of focus and determination faded as quickly as it had come.

"But I don't know who we're looking for, who I'm calling for. Who was... is Ru'in? What is he like?" It would be a sorry showing if the monsters convinced him to call the wrong soul into the lantern.

KIADA

She doesn’t notice his internal struggle – doesn’t notice anything other than the feeling of her own breaking heart over and over again. But beneath it all sits a resilience, a strength that the blight can’t touch. And she clings to it as much as she can. She only drags her attention back to him when he reaches out with his own trembling hands, grasping onto her own shaking ones. And as her icy gaze lands back on his, brimming with black, she lets him push the lock of hair from her face.

And she looks into his own solemnly, quiet, listening. “Ludo said Auni’s light could guide the way.” She admits softly. “I wish to have some armor and plenty of weaponry just in case.” She adds, as though it might be something he wants to consider too. She agrees with the rope, she thinks it’s a brilliant idea, and she’ll keep it in mind before she listens to his next question and her head tilts lightly.

“He was a man of little words, loved to work with stone and bronze. He had some kind of malformed jaw that made it difficult for words to come out, but he tried anyway most days. He was a crafter.” She begins to list them all out as she thinks up more. “Dark skin with freckles like constellations, and two colored eyes.” There’s a light smile on her face when she says this, as though she can picture him before her now. “We were both born with twins, and our twins hated that we liked one another.”

Such a simple thing, that touch, but in both the giving and receiving of it there was a shred of light that shone through the shadows, a flicker of that most dangerous of emotions: hope. Even with the blight closing in around them perhaps they could still find a way forward, even if they had to stumble half-blind to do so.

Or maybe they would fall and become so twisted that they could not recognize the people they had once been, lost to each other and themselves.

"I will sing, and you will fight," he agreed with a ghost of a sad smile. "Not so unlike my old world after all..." Ah, but then he had been a master of magics both strong and clever: spells for buffeting his enemies with the very sound of his song, for breaking enchantments upon his allies, for lending them strength and speed of heroic proportions... "But I will bring my sword. It sounds as though you must strike the final blow, but perhaps I can distract him so that you can make it a clean one." And hopefully their merely-mortal steel would be enough to do the deed.

But who was this Ru'in they would seek? He was glad he had asked when the smile came over Kiada's face, small but true. At least one of them could still find such an honest smile in their tar-dipped souls, and he listened solemnly as she painted a picture of a striking and unique man, powerful and skilled and sharing much with the young woman beside him. "How did you meet?" A gentle question, coaxing, trying to keep the smile on her face a little longer - for both of them.

This quest for Ludo, this promise made to a herald god... The request he had made of Ashetta stirred in his chest as he focused more clearly upon Kiada, seeking an idea of whether she might be willing to help him in return, though he wasn't sure yet how to ask it of her with the blight making his tongue heavy and corroding his confidence to confusion.

KIADA

She nods, a quiet agreement to his statement. To tag team the creature and ensure that her vow to Ludo is fulfilled. She will not let anything stop her. She is stubborn and strong, and even the blight cannot take that from her. “Yes.” She acknowledges quietly, thinking for a moment to Deimos and asking him if he would be willing to make armor for her for this endeavor. He will not stop her from continuing it, for fulfilling it, but she can at least come prepared.

But as she talks about Ru’in, her expression grows softer — nostalgic and kind as the smile grows across her face. And her eyes lift to Jigano when he asks how they met, and she snorts. “I think I was six or seven, and my brother and I were exploring a foggy place full of trees, grasses, and bushes. And he and his sister were hiding in a bush watching us as we approached and Ru’in used his magic to push me over.” She recalls. “When Zo and I found him and Romina we yelled at him.” Her smile grows wider at the memory. “I thought about setting him on fire but then his father showed up and made us all go home. But we lived in the same place, he was a few months older than I was I think.” She admits, though she doesn’t really know. But she’s remained the same firebrand she always has been, ever since she was a child.

He had lost his enchanted armor - mithral chain, light and quiet - when he had come through the portal. Now he walked without it, though since he avoided fights when possible that hadn't been an issue before. Of course, the blight had changed a great many things that he had taken for granted, and Long Night was never again to be underestimated. Perhaps something sturdier would be a good idea...

Or perhaps he was wiser to trust in his fox's speed and raven's wings.

This man, this Ru'in, brought a lightness to Kiada's expression that had been too rare even before the sickness took them. It wasn't fair that he had been taken from her a second time, but when had Caido ever been fair? Even tales of childhood adventures, innocent and sweet, recounted ambushes and magic turned on each other. And yet from that meeting a romance had clearly grown, love blooming in unlikely hearts, fierce and deeply rooted.

Rooted deep enough for them to risk their lives for each other. For Ru'in to die trying to reach Kiada on the darkest night. For Kiada to risk worse than death to bring his soul home.

Jigano exhaled slowly, seeking the strength to ask what he had no right to as he studied the tremble in his hands. "I don't know if this will be of any help to your quest on Long Night," he said slowly. "But there is a task I would like to undertake. And... if we will be seeking Ru'in's lost soul together for Ludo, you are someone I would like to ask for help. I would like to build a shrine to Ludo and Mort, at the Bone Bridge. Ashetta has already agreed to help... would you consider it as well?" He held his breath, uncertain what to expect, but the blight in him tensed him for rejection, mocking the friendship he had lost with the scarred woman when he had passed the kingship to Ronin.

KIADA

She listens, eyes flickering along the bard’s darkening face – veins of the blight reminding her of her own sorry state. But when he removes his hands from her own to inspect the tremble in his hands and begins to speak, her head tilts slightly as she contemplates what he’s asking for. And well, it’s certainly something. But she doesn’t think it difficult, really, she finds it to be an easy trade off for what she’s asking him to do for her. “I can do that.” She admits softly, giving him a rare gentle smile.

And while she’s at it, while they’re talking and things are okay for the time being, she gives him a slightly wry smile. “Ashe and I are friends. I think you might have to keep your eye on us two.” She notes, a sad attempt at a joke, but a joke nonetheless. And she’s quietly proud of her attempt.

Acceptance and, more than simply that, a smile that broke through the clouds around them both, reminding him of what they used to have. It drew an answering smile to his own face, soft but bright with relief and hope as he offered her a shallow bow of gratitude - for more than just her agreement to help. In spite of the blight they might yet manage to repair the bridges he had broken in his selfishness, and that the blight had tried to burn between them both. Hope was such a dangerous thing, and he found himself so rarely able to find it these days, so he clung tightly to what little he could scrape together against the darkness in his soul.

He had not expected to hear that Ashe and Kiada not only knew each other but were friends, and he blinked in surprise before letting out a soft snort of amusement. "I suspect Ludo will greatly approve," he admitted. "But I'll make a note to not bring any flour - just in case!"

KIADA

A smile shifts toward hope, to repairing what had broken, frayed, fractured between them. And she was happy for it, even if everything else had started becoming more difficult, more frustrating with every passing moment. It was a thing to look forward to, and while she’s quiet about it, she holds it close. Her attempt at a joke was well received, and her smile grows a bit brighter as she lifts the blankets back up over her shoulders. “Ludo would enjoy it a lot, I think.” A soft snort, the anger and mood swings on the better side for the moment.

But he mentions flour and she manages a quiet breathy chuckle at that. “Ashe and I can find a way.” She winks with another quiet hum of laughter. “I am.. excited, though. Thank you Jigano.” She says quietly, thankfully, the words having far more emotion than when he first walked into her home. “Do you want those books now?” A quiet offering, as a yawn begins to settle over her features.

"We're going to have a snowball fight while making the shrine, aren't we?" he mused, a grin ghosting beneath the blight's ennui. It was the sort of youthful game that might draw Ludo before they were quite ready for the masked god, but if it showed up early enough, it could offer design tips. They would need to build in stone, he thought musingly. Kiada's Ru'in would have been a great help in it, had he lived. But they would do the best they could to make it a place worthy of sending him off from once his soul had been found.

"You're welcome. And thank you, too," he added, eyes soft in spite of the darkness veining them.

In truth he had forgotten about the books until she reminded him, but Kiada was looking better and he hoped that she might be able to get some rest soon. "Sure," he agreed easily. "Still where we hid them? Auni can help me get them," he added with a quietly amused glance to where the companions had been playing nearby. It was still a team effort to retrieve the precious tomes, but between the four of them they managed, and Jigano took his leave with a lighter heart - and a heavier bag - than he had when he had arrived.