the crooked kind

Frey Beholders beware, there are no safe words Ah. Ludo. Ludo was weird like that (or at least, their interests didn’t intersect much), so Frey immediately lost interest in the explanation. However, one thing Remi said caught their attention. Giving him a pointed look, when Frey spoke next, it was more serious than they usually sounded. ”Wrong. You always have a choice. It’s not always a good choice, but a choice nonetheless.” For instance, Remi could have chosen to let himself die rather than accept the gift from Ludo. Mortals always seemed to forget that. Then, the playfulness was back, as if a cloud had temporarily passed over the celestial body that was Frey. However, it didn’t last, for as the mortals spoke, Frey’s brow furrowed, a displeased expression growing on their face. For a moment, all was silent in the clearing. Unnaturally so. Even the sounds of the forest faded away as all turned to Frey to listen to their response. The quiet stretched on an uncomfortably long time, but Remi and Rexanna would find themselves unable to move or speak, caught in an invisible net by the god’s power and very presence. Frey’s eyes were unfocused, not looking anywhere in particular, as they considered both the offer and the questions posed to them. Then, they laughed, the sound cruel and mocking, and suddenly their beauty was blinding and terrifying and bewitching all at once. Standing up, Frey walked forward towards the pair, and as they did ropes snaked around the two mortals, pulling them apart, binding them, and forcing them to their knees. Gags would show up as well, and the two would find their heads forced to turn and follow Frey’s progress by their ties. This was getting tiresome and while it was beneath them to explain themselves, it might save them from being annoyed by these gnats again. The gods weren’t to be belittled and mocked by those who had no right to even try to comprehend them, and to be reduced to merely intercourse was ridiculous. Perhaps a demonstration was in order. ”Enough. I grow bored. Sex? You really think that’s all I care about?” The voice, so pleasing before, cut the man and the woman to their cores. Leaning forward, Frey whispered in Remi’s ear, though Rexanna would hear it as well, the tone low and dangerous sounding. ”I represent so much more than just sex.” Sex was a big part of it, but it wasn’t the whole of what Frey was. Straightening up, they glared down at the pair and scoffed. ”I don’t want meaningless sex. No. I want passion. I want desire. I want pleasure, and heat, and raw want and need.” They paused, then smirked. ”Maybe even love. But so far, none of you have shown yourselves worthy of my attention.” Walking around the couple, Frey considered how best to show this god (and all gods) were not to be messed with and definitely not to be underestimated. Sex. Pfft. That was the very least of what they could do. Perhaps they’d made a mistake in making it seem all about sex all the time. No matter. Here was the perfect opportunity to correct that. Pausing in front of Remi, Frey knelt down and raised his head so they were staring into the deity’s eyes. Rexanna went ignored, since the woman hadn’t called them and she wasn’t worthy of their attention just now. No, Remi was the one who had originally caught Frey’s attention. Well, now he had all of it. Lucky him. Frey’s eyes were a kaleidoscope, a rainbow of colors, a dizzying display that would cause a wave of heat to pass through the man. Frey could feel the alchemist, everything he wanted and desired and thought about, and one face stood out clearly in his mind’s eye. Frey smiled, looking terrifying and wonderful in equal measure. ”So, as my price for summoning me and as punishment for daring to worship here without true understanding of the forces you are trifling with, I will take something precious from you. And I can see it in your heart, your feelings for him. What’s the boy’s name? Ah yes, Loren. Such pretty blue eyes he has, I agree.” Then, the god leaned forward and kissed Remi chastely on the forehead. And through their lips they stole the feelings Remi had for Loren. The love, passion, desire, lust, all gone in an instant. Standing up again, Frey stood over their captives and smirked. ”Finally, a fitting tribute to me, if I do say so myself. If you want it back, come back with something I actually want. And don’t pray again unless you are prepared to face the consequences and prepared to please me.” With that, they disappeared, taking their bindings with them, and leaving the mortals feeling cold and alone.

R E X A N N A golden child, lion girl — tell me what it’s like to conquer. Perhaps this was one of the gods that Remi had mentioned previously, and it caused a pit of unease to settle in the bottom of her stomach, but she continued on. Remi’s voice reaching toward Frey to explain the switch, voicing the name of another god (Rexanna assumed) before turning his attention to her. He was nervous, as far as Rexanna could tell – but she bore all the confidence needed in the hopes that this could go right. She’d done it before, after all. But Remi’s voice rumbled again, hesitating, his arm lacing its way along her waist, her sapphire gaze lingering on him as he raised his chin to address the god directly. No, no, no. It wouldn’t work if he had explained the plan, it’s just what Rexanna imagined would work. But now that it was on the table, and Remi’s arm tightened around her waist, she found herself opening her mouth to respond, to hopefully salvage the event that happened. Her fingers aimed to tighten her hold onto Remi, but as she began to speak and move, she realized she couldn’t. Wide eyes took in Remi for the brief moment before Frey stepped toward them, pulling them apart as Rexanna’s eyes bore a silent scream. She was then bound, pushed to her knees, and a gag found its way into her mouth as her head was forced to follow the god as they moved. She was also forced to watch while she was left disregarded and Remi remained the focus. She wanted to speak around the gag, wanted to spit it out and try to salvage what they had done to cause this. Her mind raced around all the possible options, but where she had once been bound by men, it made it much easier to get around than a god with magic and what appeared to be endless power coursing their veins. So she was forced to watch, to listen, as Frey focused on Remi and her eyes and head glued to following them. The voice, so terrible and yet beautiful, despite focusing on Remi seemed to make Rexanna’s body go still, unable to fight back. All the woman could do was watch, bound to the ground. As Frey spoke, saying such terrible things to Remi of a man that he loved, Rexanna’s stomach dropped. She wanted to scream at the god, to demand to give it back. But the deity withdrew, standing to look over the both of them, announcing the way Frey could return it, and she watched as the god disappeared, bindings in toe. Immediately, Rexanna scrambled, her legs and arms pushing her up as her breath caught in her throat. “What DO you want?” She hissed at the ground where the deity had previously stood, before going to Remi, apologies bright in her eyes, the need to comfort him if she could, to help fix this. It was her fault, wasn’t it? “Remi I’m so sorry.” She began, eyes wide and regret flowing there. “I can help you fix this, I need to fix this.” She began to ramble, wanting to touch him to comfort him but refraining – though she could still feel the ghost of his protective around her waist as if he could protect her from the god’s threats. Where was she when she could have tried the same? “Let me help you, please.” Her voice broke, shifting as she nearly begged him. fearless child, broken girl — tell me what it’s like to burn.

As Frey disagreed with him, Remi’s eyes dropped immediately and submissively as one side of his face flinched as if slapped. Had it been communicated to the alchemist that there was any sort of choice involved when it came to Ludo’s offering, he might well have chosen death. As it was, Remi had been knee-deep in what would have been his own demise before the lion took over. Perhaps it was as Vai and Zero had said and the lion was truly him the entire time, but it didn’t feel that way. Not for the first time anyways; agency was not something he had felt like he possessed at the time his claws had torn into his own mother’s throat. Never would the kindly alchemist had ever chosen the death or murder of his own mother over any personal gain. He’d not have chosen her suffering over anything at all, in fact. Certainly he wouldn’t have chosen it over any boons or offerings from the ribbon-wrapped god. Remi, who had hardly asked for anything in his life, would have never asked for this. The choice had been stripped from him, not that he’d argue the point with Frey of course. As Rexanna’s grip began to tighten around him, Remi suddenly found himself unable to move. Despite the fact that his eyes wanted to widen in naiveish alarm and his expression was one of unfettered confusion and apology, he felt every muscle in his body stiffen as if encased in an invisible wax. The laugh which followed struck a painful chord in Remi’s heart, and could the man’s face have revealed the inner workings of his mind it would have looked crestfallen with despair and atonement. The alchemist did not believe in the gods such as the definition normally went, but he’d not intentionally offend, despite having apparently done so. Finding himself once again gagged, bound, and on his knees in the presence of Frey (though this time he had apparently been allowed to keep his clothes), Remi found his gaze helplessly drawn to the deity who needed no additional tether to keep his eyes on them. Remi both basked and hid from their appearance, but of course the brilliance was so much brighter than the darkness from which he wanted to flee. As Frey negatively reacted to Remi’s question, again the alchemist tensed as a former beaten dog might; his actions pathetic and plaintative. You really think that’s all I care about? Remi’s bright and youthful stare was fixed upon Frey with desperate sincerity. Is it? those eyes wondered, a faint and pathetically genuine flicker of hope deep within the wellspring of those sea-glass green eyes. But then ice invaded his veins, and though he could not take his eyes from the being his lashes briefly flailed closed against the sensation; so in contrast was it with the pleasurable neediness Frey had been isssuing before Remi felt entirely bereft of understanding. Nearly panting, Remi tried to nod as Frey whispered in his ear but found himself unable to do so. As they backed up, the alchemist’s understanding but fearful gaze followed willingly. Passion? Desire? Pleasure? Heat? He could provide many of those things he was sure, especially if the woman he’d been with were reliable indicators of his skill. At the mention of love however, it was Loren who bloomed brightly in his mind, and in the wake of that, even the magnetic pull of Frey seemed to pale in comparison.   Loren– he thought to himself even as pinpricks of tears invaded the back of his eyes. Loren and Loren and Loren and – the man’s eyes bloomed beneath his eyelids and Remi momentarily clung to the memory of having Loren in his arms and over him and under him and– –and then Frey was all that he could see. Chin raising, Remi gazed with hopeless love for Loren in his eyes and the posture of a lamb before the slaughter. The Launceleyn-blue dissolved somehow into an inarticulate construction of optical heaven, and Remi felt a rush of longing invade his flesh. Moaning inarticulately–and not just because of the gag–he found himself trying to lean towards the being even as the restraints tightened against his hands and forced him backwards. As they smiled, Remi felt ice in the back of his skull; the lullaby embrace of hypothermia. Death and the saviour all at once. It was true Remi did not understand the forces at work here but– –I will take something precious from you– Panic. Alarms. Cold. Desperation. Remi’s eyes widened. His breathing stopped. no, no, no, nno As Frey leaned forward, with tear-shiny eyes, Remi fought with all his strength. Screaming through the binding of his gag and wide-eyed with agitated desperation, Remi flailed as hard as he could. Bruised skin, torn flesh, broken bones were nothing when placed near Loren. Remi would do anything, give anything, yeild anything. The only person he’d ever loved in this way, Loren was everything that his mind could aspire to and grasp and need. He’d promised unwavering devotion and unfettered fielty and– –as Frey’s lips came closer Remi flailed like a bound animal until Frey’s lips pressed against his forehead. The slight hyperventilation which had occurred slowed and the light in Remi’s eyes went out. His eyes were forced upon Frey but he did not see. Tears stained his vision but he did not feel, even as his body latently went through the death throws of his fading love for Loren. Come back with something I actually want they had said. I want passion and desire and maybe even love they had said. But Remi no longer had any. As Rexanna’s scream filled the glade, Remi sat as he had been bound, staring at the grass. His eyes were wide in shock, tears streak his cheeks, but his breathing was surprisingly calm. He felt nothing. That should have made him scream, panic, hyperventilate, breakdown, collapse and any number of other things. But it didn’t. Instead, the alchemist straightened and looked towards the sapphire-eyed woman with solemn and kind eyes. ‘No...it is fine. I...” Running a hand back to front through his hair, Remi inhaled deeply. He loved Loren. He did. But he felt nothing. Just as he knew that rain existed and what wetness felt like, despite not feeling it now. Pressing against his thighs with his strong hands, Remi stood. His mind protested, yielding what should have been an unbearable weight, and yet he carried it easily. This should be heartbreak. Agony. A lifetime of searching and finally finding only to culminate in a loss: yet Remi felt nothing. “I am fine.” The alchemist said, offering a boyish and lopsided smile. He wasn’t even hollow, for it felt like there had never been anything there to begin with. remi Trying to teach my common sense to not waver with my confidence

R E X A N N A golden child, lion girl — tell me what it’s like to conquer. When Rexanna looked to Remi, the first thing she noticed was that while the bonds had disappeared, he remained in the same position. His head cast down, staring at the grass – tear streaked cheeks and Rexanna’s heart yearned for him, it broke for him, and while he didn’t feel anything, Rexanna certainly did. Her heart broke for him, and she found her face tinged pink in embarrassment, worry, and fear. Had she just lost a friend? But he looked up to her, straightened, sliding a hand through his hair and announcing that he was fine. She wanted to scream more. He most certainly wasn’t fine, and even if he felt fine, it made no difference for what his lover would feel. How could you pretend to love someone when the feelings weren’t there? Concern glanced her features, but she allowed him to stand, stepping back as he offered her one of the boyish grins he had before the earthquake, before the encounter, and she felt completely undeserving of it. “A-Are you sure?” She stammered, her eyes looking to him bright and terrified, though she knew he’d probably say yes. Rexanna exhaled sharply through her nose, not even bothering with her own appearance – her shirt disheveled to reveal the brand in the shape of a C on her collarbone. Her eyes remained on his face, her hair a bit tangled yet pushed back out of her face as she studied him, fighting her instinct to touch and fix. Then, as if she realized that Frey had spoken of a him that Remi had loved, her cheeks grew pinker. “I didn’t know, I didn’t think it would go like that.” She also said, in the hopes of remedying anything. She didn't care that Remi preferred men. She didn’t care who loved who, she only cared about the people that cared for her – and that phantom protective arm around her waist made her yearn for him, in the way that he cared enough to even do so and she felt bound to return the favor. Instead, her wonderful idea had gotten Remi punished, and Rexanna felt the strong need to fix what had happened – but she didn’t know how. “Can I do anything for you to help?” She asked almost sheepishly, her sapphire gaze holding a bit of fierce determination within them. Remi i drank a bit before posting this so if it doesnt make sense or stuff isnt clear just ping me LOL fearless child, broken girl — tell me what it’s like to burn.

Was he fine? It was so hard to say. The passion that had led to his rally against his restraints and had urged the tears from his eyes was now utterly and completely gone. Like remembering a time so long ago that you no longer recreate the emotions that the memory would inspire, Remi knew why he'd been upset. He knew why losing the feelings he had for Loren was a terrible and devastating thing. He just didn't feel like it was. At Rexanna's inhale, Remi's pale eyes rose to gently scour her once again to ensure that she was alright. Likely they'd both be a little sort from the binding, but physically at least it didn't seem as though Frey had done any damage. Shaking his head with his own gentle sigh, Remi shrugged. "No..the last time it..." Closing his eyes, Remi tried to focus. "It was not like that at all. I am so sorry—" He began, opening his eyes and offering the sapphire-eyed woman an apologetic smile. "The deity seemed to only be interested in sex which is why I—" Again Remi trailed off and shrugged a bit miserably. "—I had just thought to clarify. We do not have beings like this where I came from. I didn't know that it would.." Remi's lip should have tumbled. His tears should have begun anew, but instead he just sighed with an empty sadness. "I did not know that we would be punished for my ignorance. Are you alright?" As she asked after what she might do, Remi ran a hand through his curls and shook his head. "What it said it wanted was precisely what it took. I am not sure how to satisfy what it wants given how I—" He was going to say feel, but that wasn't quite right. Curling his fingers into a fist, Remi tried to reach deep within himself and remember what it was to be in love with Loren. But of course there was nothing. "Where we came from I could never act on my feelings openly. It was only ... well, just before we were pulled here that I actually told Loren how I felt. That I loved him." Wearily Remi chuckled. "I had thought being in this new place would be different. And now that it is, I feel nothing." remi Trying to teach my common sense to not waver with my confidence

R E X A N N A golden child, lion girl — tell me what it’s like to conquer. If Rexanna was being honest, it wasn’t the first time she had been bound. It hadn’t even been the worst one she’d endured – her trip from Aciend to Halyven had been a brutal one, leaving bruises and sore joints and bones for what seemed like months after her escape. Yet she still unconsciously rubbed at her wrists where they had previously been, magical and strange, and most certainly unexpected. Yet she kept her eyes on him as he shrugged and began to answer her. She nodded along in understanding, agreeing that where she was from, the gods were simply hidden away with no connections other than stories. But his last sentence, the we hung in the air between them and her eyes only widened slightly at the remark. As far as she was concerned, nothing had happened to her. In comparison to what she witnessed, she was perfectly fine. So in order to try and repair the tension that still surrounded them in the air, she nodded to his question. “I’ve been through worse.” She offered as a way of saying that, yes, she was most certainly alright. But as Remi began to speak of his love for Loren and how the god had taken it from him and now wants him to return it, she found herself searching his face curiously. Sorrow cascaded through her sapphire gaze as she looked to him and simply remained listening, interested in the history of him from another place – a place so different from the place she had come from. “Don’t blame yourself.” She began, her brows pulling together as she thought about what Frey had said. “What if it’s not necessarily you finding love again to try and prove it to Frey to get the feeling back? What if you have to help others find that kind of love?” She paused thoughtfully, pursing her lips together. “What sense would it make to have you not love him anymore, to try and find love again, to prove it and love Loren again? Unless that god prefers heartbreak.” She had begun to ramble, her eyes drifting from him back to the shrine. “What if they just want emotion? Not necessarily love, but something else?” She trailed off, her eyes remaining on the shrine. “But what could it be?” fearless child, broken girl — tell me what it’s like to burn.

With a sad smile, the alchemist nodded. He was pleased of course to know that she was alright (the last time Frey had appeared, one of the women he'd been with certainly had not been alright with the restraints and conversation that had followed), but suitably saddened at the implication and assumptions that came from having endured worse. As she encouraged him not to blame himself, Remi chuckled bitterly. If he'd only kept his mouth shut, if only he'd just done what Rexanna had suggested, if only he'd not given in so easily to the woman's curiosity. Rubbing a hand across his eyes, Remi could only sigh. "I just wish I understood." He mumbled with uncharacteristic glumness. Glancing up, Remi considered her words. He supposed it made some amount of sense. Frey had said they wanted passion, and heat, and pleasure. Never once did they specifically say it had to come from Remi. Crossing his arms and rubbing his hands against his biceps as if he was cold (though he wasn't), the alchemist nodded thoughtfully. Just now with the loss of his love feather-light in his mind for its utter absence, the thought of aiding others in such a pursuit seemed entirely foreign. "And if I bring them here and am wrong? If their passions are stripped away as well?" With a glare (an expression that rarely ever found itself on Remi's face), the alchemist looked at the shrine and shook his head with a menacing frown. "I will not subject anyone else to this...thing until I know for sure." remi Trying to teach my common sense to not waver with my confidence

R E X A N N A golden child, lion girl — tell me what it’s like to conquer. At least they agreed on that. She, too, wished that she understood what the god wanted. She nodded to him with a small quiet sigh and slightly bowed head, her sapphire gaze leaving him to look upon the ground they stood. But as she brought up another point, she listened as he considered it and spoke again. Her stomach churned with the possibility, a gut-wrenching pain that shot through her abdomen at the implication. She wanted to tell him that maybe it was the cost to pay to get his love back, but upon first meeting him he didn’t seem like the type of person. As bad as it sounded, Rex was that type of person. She regarded what he said, her hands slipping up to her hair to pull it back from her face as she thought about it. “It seems they just don’t want to be misunderstood again.” She trailed off, stopping herself from telling him about how she thought she could come back and try to summon them again and ask exactly what they wanted them to know. How was it fair for a god to grow upset with them if they weren’t clear with their instructions anyway? How could anyone want to help the gods get a better rep if this is how they treated them? She pinched her nose for a moment before Remi glared at the shrine and nodded along with him, her eyes finding him once again. “I’ll do anything to help you that I can.” She began, shifting on her feet. “I’m so terribly sorry, I wish to make things right.” She said, her hands finding their way away from her hair and to her sides once again as she did everything she could to try and not embrace him, to comfort him in some way. fearless child, broken girl — tell me what it’s like to burn.

"Conversations clear up most misunderstandings I have found." The alchemist grumbled uncharitably. Of course he had no real understanding of the divine and perhaps it was just the case that gods really did work in strange and mysterious ways. But for now it all just seemed like pomp and circumstances followed by a lot of childish behaviour. Punished for their ignorance? When they'd acted with a completely genuine desire to understand and please? "I appreciate that." Remi said with a boyishly warm smile despite all that had happened. "Perhaps we should go? I would hate to be further punished simply for loitering or committing some other unknown infraction." remi Trying to teach my common sense to not waver with my confidence

R E X A N N A golden child, lion girl — tell me what it’s like to conquer. As Remi spoke, her brows furrowed together in understanding yet agreeable frustration. What that god wanted or didn’t want wasn’t clear, and Rexanna had made it a purpose of hers to try and figure out what they wanted. If it helped Remi in any way, that was great, but she’d rather not try and appease the gods with him again for fear of something else happening. Perhaps the god might be more willing to talk about it another day, after they hadn’t disturbed their shrine. Yet as Rexanna apologized, Remi offered her a warm smile despite everything and her gut churned further, her brows inching a bit closer together again at his appreciation. Well, at least he didn’t hate her; she couldn’t bear the thought of it. But he suggested leaving and she nodded perhaps a bit too enthusiastically as her sapphire gaze slipped back to the shrine with a small huff. “You’re right. We should go.” She began, her attention slipping back toward Remi. “I hope you wouldn’t mind if we cross paths again.” Her voice was calm and gentle despite the turmoil within her, still finding ways to apologize without actually saying it. Then she nodded to Remi and with one final glance at the shrine, she began her trip back away from the shrine and the glade, hopeful it would be the last terrible encounter in a while. thanks for the thread Odd <333 Rex out! fearless child, broken girl — tell me what it’s like to burn.