Worthless and Broken

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

Phoebe shook her head quickly, drying her cheeks and eyes with her hands roughly. ”I didn’t tell him anything specific about our conversation except that I told you I thought what you said was foolish and that you two needed space apart.” she said in earnest. She didn’t reveal anything more than that, having focused more on what she said than what Remi did for the very purpose of not gossiping. The content of the conversation hadn’t really been important, just that she was aware of the situation, that Loren had someone who knew who he could talk to.

Or berate until they barely felt human anymore.

”You know that isn’t true.” Phoebe said quietly with a sniffle. She knew Remi cared for him deeply – loved him even perhaps. ”I think I made it worse. I didn’t mean to but I think I did.” she said, swallowing a lump in her throat. She hadn’t meant to. She had meant to help in a way, and it totally backfired.

She sniffled as Remi listed off all the things she had done, and when he mentioned Pim, the little dragon snuffled his way through the quilt until his nose found her knee to rest upon. Phoebe rested her head against Remi’s shoulder, trying to pull herself out from the depths of sorrow she had fallen in to. ”I know.” she said quietly. ”He just…I don’t know how he seemed to just…know all the things to say to get under my skin.”

Remi hummed a somewhat relieved note, not that he'd meant to. While he wasn't hiding anything from Loren, he did at least have the sense to know that if the summoner had heard the full extent of the alchemist's feelings, things might be a good deal more complicated than they already were. Remi thought it was absolutely true, but decided not to argue. "Put it out of your mind. Honestly, the only thing you have made any more difficult is whether or not I will stay away from him after this, and not punch him in his nose." Which of course would not be how the alchemist handled it, if he did go and see the summoner. But with anger singing in his veins, it felt satisfying to say it just the same. Tightening his arms around her, the alchemist nodded. "He is good at that." Remi agreed in a sad voice. Indeed, the Launceleyn did seem to know precisely what to say to cut right to the quick. "And I do not know why he is being like this to you, but it does not make it true. Him hitting on your insecurities does not mean he is right." REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

"Please don't punch him. I don't want you eaten by a dragon." she said with a sniffle. And she didn't exactly want violence done in her name either. She wasn't that sort. The midwife nuzzled her face between his jaw and collarbone, hiding her eyes in his neck. Besides, she had caused him enough problems and strife with this as it was. Phoebe wasn't sure if he meant it or not, better safe than sorry. She couldn't have anticipated Loren exploding like that so she wasn't going to even try to guess reactions for the time being.

"It doesn't make him wrong either." she said with a little sniffle as she let her head fall on his shoulder a bit. "I am insecure and needy. I do chase affection like a pathetic idiot." she said, swallowing a lump of emotion in her throat. "Though I don't know when wanting to be loved became a bad thing but...I don't know." she sighed.

"What, with me as a manticore, you think he would still win?" Actually, maybe Phoebe didn't know about that yet. Or did she? He couldn't remember. Wrapping the blanket around them both like a quilted cocoon, Remi was happy to simply hold Phoebe until she felt the need to say more, and to stay comfortably silent until then. "Do you? Before we came here, you did not. What you have done in the past year hardly makes you who you are. And if it is true of you, it is more than true of me. I have been with more men here than you have, after all." Remi said with a bashful grin and shrug. "It absolutely isn't." Remi said, nudging her slightly if only to get her attention to peer into her eyes. "It is all I have wanted as well." He added with a flickering smile. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

Phoebe technically didn't even know that Remi's eyes had been restored, but since the narrator is a complete and utter FOOL that fact is going to be glossed over. Your patience, dear reader, is appreciated. The midwife blinked and tilted her head at Remi's revelation about being a manticore though. "You can turn into a manticore now?" she said in surprise. She was vaguely familiar with the creature, but she would never have guessed Remi could become such a fearsome thing.

She considered his words quietly, shrugging a little. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted affection. But did she really chase it more than anyone else? Was it so wrong to try and bring those that made you feel good about yourself closer to you? Was that chasing or just being a normal person? "I know. You really need to learn to share the men around here, Remi." she said jokingly, smiling the tiniest bit.

She looked up at him when nudged, smiling just the tiniest bit. "And I am glad you found it."

"Ah, I see I failed to mention that sooner." Remi said with a chuckle, before nodding. "Yes. For...a few weeks now, at least." He added with a light shrug. "Oh I see, so this is my fault." He said playfully, rolling his eyes. "Well, Sam is dating someone, Loren is...crazy now, apparently. I suppose that just leaves Ianto. " Not that Remi thought there was a snowballs chance in hell the two of them would get along romantically, but that also wasn't really the point of this little conversational detour. "Or was the sharing meant to be another threesome reference?" He asked, nudging her with a grin. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

”That’s…amazing!” she said with a smile. ”You must think I am so boring. You turn into mythical creatures and have magic. You’re married to a demigod who is also a king. Your daughter is blessed by a goddess and has stars in her eyes. I just have boy problems.” she joked, sighing a little bit. She did a lot but…she was a bit boring as a person, wasn’t she? A small frown curved her lips. Was doing a lot the same as being interesting? Or was she just busy?

Phoebe laughed a little and nodded. ”Yes. It is your fault. I much prefer that to it being mine.” she said, lightly teasing. ”Well…to be fair I wouldn’t be interested in Sam anyways.” she said. He was ascended, which meant he couldn’t give her children. Automatic no. ”Ianto…he is very nice but I doubt I am interesting enough. And Loren…crazy.” she said, sighing dramatically. But at the mention of sharing she rolled her eyes, smirking a bit. ”You keep bringing that up, Remi. Do you have babies on the brain?”

Blushing, the alchemist merely rolled his eyes and shook his head. "I long for the days when boy problems were the worst of my worries." He said with a grin. "And even now I still somehow have boy problems." Speaking of..."Give me back the amulets. I will get Loren to fill them. And before you argue, there is no way I am letting you do this task with the way he treated you." Loren could rage at the alchemist all he wanted for not giving him space. But this was about Phoebe and LongNight, and Remi wouldn't let Phoebe further bare the brunt of the summoner's anger alone. "Ianto does lead a rather unpredictable life." Remi agreed, smiling fondly at the thought of the fox. Giving her a pointed look, the alchemist shook his head. " Me? You are the one who said I needed to share." He protested with a laugh. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

"That's because boy problems never end. They just get older, grumpier, fatter, and balder." she said with a groan, then grinned a bit. "That's what my mother used to say when my sisters complained about their boy troubles." she said with a light laugh. She did hesitate to give him the amulets, but quickly gave in, rummaging in her coat pocket to find them. "I'm sorry...she said quietly as she handed them over.

"Yes you do need to share and stop having every man around fall in love with you!" she said with a teasing huff. "Your the one whose brain went right to threesome. I think you've babies in the brain."

Well, Remi hadn't gotten any fatter as of late (just the opposite, in fact), and as for balder? Running a hand through his curls, he winked at the midwife before shrugging. "Maybe you should be looking for some sort of immortal fitness man then." He said jokingly. "Maybe mortality has been your problem all along." "Don't be." Taking them and placing them on a side-table using his magic, Remi pressed a kiss against Phoebe's head. "It is probably time this stalemate ended, anyways." That wasn't true, and he knew it. But it didn't matter now. "Oh, every huh? My bad. I will just stay inside, how is that?" Instead of answering her question, Remi simply shook his head and let his smile falter slightly. Things with he and Ronin were still...tense. There was so much they needed to deal with an unpack in an emotional sense, but with Ronin's duties as the king keeping him busy, their relationship worries had largely been swept aside. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

Phoebe laughed a little and shook her head, though she did have a good follow-up joke of her own. ”I suppose there is always Frey, but they aren’t the commitment type I’m afraid.” she said with a dramatic sigh. She had heard of some of the heralds visiting those they cared for on their wedding days, but if she ever got married, she figured Frey wouldn’t show out of sheer protest at the notion of monogamy. But that was Frey for you.

”Didn’t your stalemate just barely start?” Phoebe asked, watching the amulets float away.

”Yes, stay inside or else there won’t be any men left for me.” she teased, eyes closing as she yawned. It had been an emotional and exhausting day even though it wasn’t technically over. ”Or maybe there never were any to begin with. I don’t really know anymore.”

"You said love, not commitment. Now you are just adding things." He chuckled back. Biting the inside of his lip the alchemist gave a noncommittal shrug because time lines were hard and no one knows how long anything has been. "True. That does not mean I do not wish it was over. It is one thing if we ... agree to be apart, I suppose. But this? I walked past him in the library and he just glared and went on his way." For one as gentle (and selfish in this case) as Remi, that sort of reaction was infinitely hard to bear. "Hmmmm, well." Rocking her gently in his arms and trying to stifle a yawn, Remi just smiled. "Until then, you have Pim and I. Other than Ronin, no one else can say they have a god, a dragon, and a manticore in their corner." REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me

PHOEBE

Let you go and the lonely in
To take my heart again

Phoebe laughed a little and shrugged at his accusation. "You never said I couldn't add things. You'll just have to be clearer next time." she teased, as if her adding things in was somehow his fault. It was no one's fault though really. Phoebe was...a pigeon in a way. She wanted her mate to be committed, to be with forever. It just seemed that it became more idealistic and unreasonable as time went on, and those around her seemed to find their fellow pigeon while she flew about into windows.

"Oh, you mean like an ex-boyfriend who isn't particularly happy with you?" she said with a small smile, raising a brow at him. She had some experience with that, though Emmett had more gone the avoidance and outright ignoring track of dealing with her in the days following their breakup. "You need to just give it some time, Remi. Not everyone has your ability to just...set aside hurt and move forward. If he really was the sort of person you always said he was...he will come around to you. Maybe." she mumbled, shrugging a bit. "Or he has completely lost his mind and you won't want him around anyways. Either way, like you always tell me, things will work themselves out."

She yawned in response to his, the action a notoriously contagious one. "Yes. I do have you and Pim." she said softly with a small smile. A reality she was truly grateful for. "I honestly don't know what sort of state I would be in if I did't have you." she admitted, her sleepiness clear in the softness of her tone.

"Oh, I do not think he was ever my boyfriend." Remi returned with a crooked smile, as if labels somehow changed absolutely anything about his situation with Loren. Raising a brow, he shook his head. "Have I ever said that? Things will work themselves out? Hit me neck time if I do. What terrible advice." Flashing her a smile, Remi shifted beneath her slightly. "Well, I know the state I'd be in without you: I would still be asleep." He pointed out with mock annoyance. "Care to join?" So saying, he let himself slide down, pulling himself out from beneath her but leaving plenty of room for her to spoon-up against him on the couch. REMI I forgot what it was like, to think I found you finding me