From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
The silence stretched and the cold loomed endlessly, but the alchemist didn't seem to mind. If there was something the summoner had to say, Remi would wait patiently to hear it. And if not? If this was just a lengthy pause before telling him to leave? Well, then he'd appreciate these last moments for what they were.
However as the Launceleyn started speaking, Remi found himself smiling widely, beatifically, lovingly. At his side his fingers curled slightly, one arm stuttered forward an inch or so before halting and finding itself tucked snugly against his body; he wanted to reach out, but he couldn't. Wouldn't. It wasn't what Loren needed or wanted, even if it was what Remi did.
"That sounds..." Dimples pressed into Remi's cheeks as he found his smile growing far too wide, sea-glass gaze too shiny with a strange but reverent sort of optimism. Flushing with embarrassment, the alchemist coughed away whatever he might have said. Loren didn't need his praise or approval, much as Remi wanted to offer it. But as the summoner had pointed out again and again to deaf ears, it was what Remi wanted. Now that the alchemist was listening, he saw just how rampant his selfishness was, with Loren.
"So...new Loren definitely does not want a magic item at his disposal?" The alchemist said with a hint of a smile, a slightly raised brow, a whisper of mischievousness in his tone.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It was probably for the best that Remi didn’t finish that sentence. And it was definitely for the best that the other man didn’t actually touch the summoner, as it seemed like the alchemist might for a moment. After all, Remi’s smile had crashed over Loren’s impassive exterior and broken, leaving him unchanged. Except this time it felt a little more like a piece of ice floating to the top of the water; the Launceleyn wasn’t fighting off or being swept under by the other man’s seemingly unending love, but rising above it.
Remi could do as he wished. Loren didn’t have to be swayed by it if he didn’t want to. Not anymore.
The other man’s optimism was misplaced: there was as strong a chance that the Launceleyn might decide darkness suited him as there was that he’d find the light again. But saying so would just start the cycle anew, because the alchemist wouldn’t be able to accept that and the summoner wouldn’t be able to explain it. However, maybe in the end he’d just discover what he’d always known. Light didn’t banish shadows. It created them. Luckily, there was nothing wrong with shades of grey, which is all black and white were in the end.
However, when Remi asked about the amulet, the summoner’s eyes flicked down to where it rested in the snow. At that moment, though, Astra emerged from the heart of the house, to twine around him before coming to a stop by his side once more. Whether she’d been watching all this while or whether she’d somehow sensed the sea change within him and come back as a result, he couldn’t say. However, Loren was glad for her presence. That didn't make his voice any less impassive when he spoke. ”I have magic enough in my life.” The alchemist should give it to someone else. Someone who lacked their particular talents and strength.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Flashing a warm smile down at the fawnling, the alchemist merely offered his once-friend a disbelieving shrug. "You say that, but when you cannot sleep and could have had a pillow that sings to you, or rubs your shoulders?" He trailed off, mischief tugging at his lips. "A blanket that is always the right temperature?" Ridiculous suggestions, because of course Remi didn't actually mean them. Much as he still thought Loren was being a stubborn ass....that was his choice to make, perhaps now more than ever.
Reaching down and plucking the dropped amulet into the snow, Remi nodded with a vague sort of intent. "Well, thank you for these three," Because just as it was Loren's choice to not accept help, it was still Remi's choice to be playfully unhappy about it. "I have a feeling we will need them." I will need them. Because of course, Remi was one of those people planning on not staying inside.
He'd promised as much.
"In case...anything happens..I.." Swiping a hand across his frosty cheeks, Remi smiled down at the ground, and then at Astra. If Loren could now do anything he liked under the guise of learning who he was, Remi felt similarly bound by who he was. How was he supposed to communicate what he wanted, when it would be taken as selfish? Even if it was selfish? But he'd made yet another vow to the summoner, which meant...With a sinking feeling, Remi forced himself to internalize what it meant. If he died, his thoughts and feelings would die with him. Kneeling down again and offering a hand out towards the fawnling, to scritch behind her ears if she'd allow, he tried to keep his smile and voice from breaking. "..nice to have met you, Astra."
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Remi was being silly, prolonging the inevitable departure, but Loren found that he didn’t mind it. Much. Again, the other man could do as he willed, and the summoner would do the same. If the alchemist wanted to jest, then he could do so. The Launceleyn didn’t need to respond to everything. He could just stand there, impassive, eyes cold. But they had thawed, ever so slightly. Besides, the reasons Loren was unable to sleep had nothing to do with temperature or tension, and everything to do with night terrors and childhood trauma. Still, even with that, he was going to stick by his statement, slightly amended: he had magic enough, for now.
”You’re welcome.” Finally, the alchemist took the last amulet, and said a goodbye of sorts. To Astra, though, not to the Launceleyn. The luxere accepted the other man’s touch obviously, always pleased to be shown affection by anyone, even Loren. At least, that was the best explanation he’d come up with for why she’d stuck by him all this time.
However, something in the other man’s tone gave the summoner pause. Once upon a time, Loren had known Remi intimately—though not as intimately as either of them would have liked—and those old instincts stirred under the ice. ”You’ve met.” That’s not what had troubled the Launceleyn however. No, what had troubled him was how final the alchemist’s goodbye had sounded. ”Remi.” Although the Launceleyn’s voice wasn’t gentle, it wasn’t as harsh as before, though it was just as firm and unyielding. ”You can talk to me. I just won’t always respond, or respond in the way you’d like, and I don’t feel that I should be responsible for that.” The very fact that he had to give that caveat was sad, but felt necessary. Although it was probably obvious to the alchemist already, given how the summoner had been acting.
”But...I meant what I said, that I don’t mind being useful. And I helped you with the LongNight preparations, I want you to remember that. I'll keep helping, in whatever way I can.” Even in the dark and the cold, he'd still done that. Now, Loren searched Remi’s eyes for any sign of what it was in the other man’s voice that had triggered this wave of concern. ”If anything happens, as you say, do your best to tell me, and I will be there. And if I can't be there before, you'll tell me after.” After all, even now Loren couldn’t imagine a world in which, whatever he became, Remi wasn’t there in some way, shape or form. So this wasn't goodbye, not by a long shot.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Remi chuckled under his breath. "You hear that Astra? Your bonded apparently thinks I cannot tell you that it is nice to have met you after the fact." His strong fingers found their way deep into her fur, relaxing into the simple calm he found around most animals. Loren's tone might have thawed if only just, but still it was as hard to endure as the words the man was still saying. Glancing up, eyes bright with can I?, Remi nodded before giving Astra one final caress and standing.
Raising a brow slightly, not understanding how he was meant to understand I helped you with the preparations, Remi merely nodded a touch vaguely. Raising a hand now to sweep the accumulated snow from his curls and doing his best to meet Loren's gaze, he smiled sadly at the summoner's conclusion.
You'll tell me after.
Someone would, certainly. It just might not be Remi.
Much as Loren said Remi could still talk to him and much as the alchemist didn't like keeping things to himself, that was what this entire exercise was about, wasn't it? Oh sure, Loren said he could decide how he reacted to things, but if he knew the alchemist was planning daily and nightly patrols during the mostly deadly week of the year, he'd surely feel obligated to do something about it. And wasn't that at the heart of all this? How the alchemist's smiles, touches, words, had always forced the summoner into doing things he didn't want?
"That sounds right." Remi said doubtfully, his smile enough to dimple his cheeks but not chase away the shadows in his eyes.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
That was not exactly what the Launceleyn had meant, but considering what he’d done and said earlier, he figured he didn’t have grounds to complain. Moreover, for Astra, he would let a lot slide that he wouldn’t for anyone or anything else. So, as the alchemist gave the luxere rubs and scratches before standing, the summoner remained silent.
Then it was the other man’s turn to stay quiet as Loren spoke. However, Remi’s response wasn’t exactly normal, nor did it instill confidence in the Launceleyn. The was too much sorrow in the other man’s eyes and expressions and too much doubt in his voice for this to be simply another reaction to rejection from the summoner. So he decided to call the alchemist out on it. ”Liar.” Loren’s voice came out matter-of-factly, not accusatory or cruelly, though he didn’t know how Remi would take it. ”I don’t know what you have on your mind. But withholding information from me or lying about it takes away my choice as surely as telling me what you think I should do or think or feel does. Besides, I'll likely find out eventually, and if it's afterwards I can guarantee my response will be not to your liking.” That was nothing but the truth: the Launceleyn could only figure out who he wanted to be if others were honest with their intentions and their feelings, as he was striving to be.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
"Not a lie. It does sound right. I am just not sure that I think it will happen." Remi answered, scarlet guilt flashing across his cheeks and against the already red-from-the-cold tips of his ears. He hated being deceptive and was awful at it, as the summoner had already deduced. Even so, torn between honesty and burdening his once-friend further, he found himself utterly frozen.
"Maybe." He agreed softly after a moment, his eyes somewhere near Loren's shoulders, unable to look into the summoner's eyes anymore. They were the wrong shade, even without his memories he knew that. What he didn't know was how long they would remain that way. If the depths of that blue stare he'd come to know so well in two worlds now, would ever be full and vibrant again, or at best simply half-thawed. But that was selfish, as he was coming to learn, but he yearned for it just the same. "But then, most of your responses are not to my liking, so.." A flash of a half-felt smile; a poor attempt at humour.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Remi was just being needlessly cryptic now, and it wasn’t doing anything to alleviate Loren’s suspicions. Quite the opposite in fact: he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, not willing to let the alchemist off the hook. ”That’s a contradiction. Why don’t you think you’ll be able to tell me after?” It was either because the other man didn’t think they’d be talking after.
Or it was because Remi didn’t think there would be an after. However, the Launceleyn refused to even entertain that thought. And again, it wasn’t his fault if the alchemist didn’t like how Loren reacted to something. However, reiterating that point seemed counterproductive at the moment. ”You’re stalling.” Although there was less harshness and cruelty in the summoner’s eyes and voice, it was just as hard and firm.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Remi tried to give the summoner as neutral an expression as he could, but found it utterly lacking. His lips curled up, but the overall impression was not of a smile, but a strange frown. "I do not want to lie to you Loren, but after everything...after what you have asked...I do not want to tell you this." He said softly. Lashing that clumped together with the cold and tears fluttered uncertainly as Remi did his best to meet the Launceleyn's gaze.
"I..suppose if I asked for a hug goodbye, you would say no to that." It sounded like a joke meant to segue into a goodbye, but there was too much weightiness to it. Too much truth.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
It must be pretty bad, if the normally completely open alchemist was holding something back. The Launceleyn’s eyes narrowed, and if he’d thought that pushing Remi would result in anything but another one of those frowns, the summoner would have. As it stood, if the other man wanted to keep secrets, even after everything they’d been through—and after imploring the Launceleyn to be honest—that was the alchemist’s choice. ”Fine. I don’t understand and I don’t like it, but I will accept it.” However, he wouldn’t stop trying to get to the bottom of it.
If the summoner was going to try and be the best version of himself, or at least a new version of himself, he’d have to get rid of all the parts that he hated. And his aversion to touch had been been his favorite. Thankfully, Frey had cured it. ”You can hug me. But before you say goodbye, there are things you should know. About LongNight.” If they both hadn’t been stubborn idiots, Loren would’ve told Remi long before now. ”Wessex has ordered me to be stationed at the Temple, along with all the professors at the Medical College.” Which included Phoebe, which should be fun for everyone. ”I am concerned that you will lack adequate healing at the Guild, so please let me put my healing magic in one of the amulets that has your creation magic.” Because the summoner wouldn’t be at the Guild, and given everything he’d heard about LongNight, travel would be next to impossible.
However, there was more the Launceleyn needed to say, especially given how everything had gone down between Loren and Phoebe. ”Wessex has also ordered Deimos and I to arrest Roana for her actions against the Ascended. I am supposed to guard her for the duration of LongNight. I will also take her boys to Phoebe. However, the queen does not trust Phoebe to keep Roana’s children in line, so if I cannot convince both of them that it is the best course of action, Wessex is planning to have the boys stay with you and Ronin at the Guild rather than with Phoebe at the Temple..” So if the alchemist could warn his best friend, and maybe put in a word of warning, that would be to everyone’s benefit.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Raising a brow, his hesitation and uncertainty temporarily halted by the strange ring of foreboding the Launceleyn's words held. That Loren would be at the Temple wasn't so surprising—Remi hadn't imagined that the summoner would subject himself to the alchemist for a solid week, given how this conversation had started. As for the other professors? To his knowledge that was only Cera and Phoebe (he didn't know about Nate, at this point). "You did already." Remi reminded the summoner gently; two spark birds and one healing spell. "Deimos and I have the unicorns for minor things, as well." He said with a strangled swallow. Scrapes and minor wounds were not what LongNight was known for. Last year it took a miracle to bring Amalia back from the dead. With the healers split away from the guild, should anything happen, they would have no choice by to go to the temple.
The Temple he'd recently helped seal up.
Remi's jaw tensed, squaring off his features as something like genuine rage flared briefly across his boyish expression. Cooling quickly he pulled in a breath, staring into the blindingly white snow to settle his racing heart. "Good." He said of her incarceration. The news about the triplets was just as surprising, however. Looking up—and subsequently blinking away the stars formed before his eyes from looking into the snow—Remi began to shake his head. "The guild...it will not be safe." Too many of them were planning to leave.
Unlike the Temple, their doors would not be sealed.
"I will speak to her." Though whether that meant Phoebe or Wessex was unclear.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Apparently everyone except Loren thought that the distribution of healers was just fine. However, as the only person with healing, he felt he had the biggest say as to where his magic went. ”You and Deimos hardly need more creation magic at the Guild. Take the extra healing.” The Launceleyn crossed his arms and gave Remi a firm look. This was completely foolish, even by their standards.
However, all thoughts of healing swiftly left the summoner’s mind at the rage-filled look on the alchemist’s face. That was surprising, coming from the normally kind Remi. And then even that was banished from his thoughts at the next comment from the other man. Loren’s nostrils flared. ”Remi. What do you mean the Guild will not be safe?” His voice was as dark as before and his eyes as cold, but in this particular case, he was entirely right to sound this way. It was his job as part of the militia to ensure the safety of everyone in the Guild, even if he wasn’t going to be there for LongNight. So if the alchemist knew something the summoner didn't, then that needed to change. He didn’t really care who Remi spoke to, as long as the other man explained exactly what he meant to the Launceleyn. Right. Now. This time, Loren wasn't going to stop asking.
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
"Ahh, but I have already put my creation magic in the amulet, and you have put two spark birds and your healing in the empty ones." Remi said, seeming to grow more composed the farther the discussion moved away from his LongNight plans. "I would have to use more magic to create another amulet." He added, with a mischievous grin. "And before you even think of just emptying out the creation magic in that amulet, know that wastes one of my creation slots as well."
Slowly, Remi's eyes rose to Loren's, his cheeks entirely scarlet now. "You were not here, Loren...you did not hear it." He said in a grave whisper, visibly shaking now, and likely not because of the cold. Pain etched its way into every expressive wrinkle on Remi's face as he pulled in a frosty breath. "The cries for help. The endless knocking...those who died alone in the streets...the..guildhall doors will not remain closed. Not for all of LongNight." He said, eyes trailing down to the summoner's nose as he tried not to let his breath catch too tightly in his throat. Whatever rage has passed over Remi, it was nothing compared to the concoction of fear and determination that pressed in upon him from all sides now.
Whatever Loren might argue, he had Deimos and Ronin on his side, trumping whatever power the Launceleyn might have wielded. Besides, come LongNight, there would be nothing the summoner could do anyways.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand
Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Remi was not exactly great at logic. ”You have creation magic, so you don’t need an amulet for that. And if you do, make another, or have Deimos do it. Or borrow one of Amalia’s items. We have enough objects that store magic that we can figure out an optimal distribution of spells, we just need to get everyone together and shuffle it around” They were scattered, true, but it shouldn’t be too hard to gather everything and make sure the right magic went to the right people and places.
As the other man finally caved, Loren’s face blanched. Surely the alchemist couldn’t possibly be thinking of venturing outside during LongNight. However, it seemed that Remi was deadly serious about this. And the Launceleyn knew there was nothing he could do to stop the other man’s plans.
That being said, there was nothing the alchemist could do to stop Loren either. His eyes searched Remi’s face for a long while before the Launceleyn finally spoke. ”You’re right. I wasn’t here last year.” He took a deep breath, and found that for once, he was entirely certain what his course of action would be. ”But I'm here this year. And if you feel that it is necessary for someone to venture out and find those who are lost, I will do it.”
He held up a hand to stop whatever protest the alchemist was about to raise. ”Before you start, I am better suited to this task, between Astra, my summoning, and my healing. I am also more expendable than you are.” It would be hard for Remi to argue with any of that, except maybe the expendable part. ”Besides, you can’t stop me from leaving the Temple. And I am doubly resolved to do this if you are going to insist on going out yourself.” This was foolishness incarnate, but if the Launceleyn was there, maybe he could keep Remi from getting himself killed.
