I breathe disaster
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Remi gave the summoner a long and almost reproachful look. No impact on others, hmm? Ouch. Selfishly the alchemist wanted to hope he fell into the at least usually camp, but the longer Loren spoke and the more of him sneaked past the summoners careful facade, the less he thought it was true. But it didn't matter. Remi had said what he'd needed to. "What they think of you does not matter. Or so I am learning with children." He said with a crooked smile. Already Aoife had developed an attitude that included quite a lot of hitting and curse words. "But that does not matter. Not when they are family. You have to keep them safe, and happy, and loved."

Softening instantly as Loren's voice shrank to a whisper, the alchemist merely nodded silently. "I have experienced more of this world than you, so take my word on this: you do not always get the change to show everyone how you feel." He hadn't had the chance to show Loren. Hadn't had the chance to show Ronin before he was obliterated. "Sometimes words are all there is time for." A nearly inaudible I love you, in a pit, blood everywhere. But at the time, it was all Remi had.

Pulling back limply and running a hand across runny eyes, Remi tried to pull in another breath and failed. "There..there's more." So saying he exhaled a guttural half-sob, as the air shimmered.

      A luxere fallen in the snow, blackened sludge pouring from its mouth. Sam, Isla, Kiada, Caiside...it broke the luxere apart, racing towards them. There was fire, Sam fled into the night, Kiada and Caiside..black against the elk's antlers. It had been ice, not fire that had proved victorious, and later when Remi had arrived with Ludo, the bodies were gone.

"They..the bodies disappear. They take them." Remi whispered softly.

      The Rathskeller door furiously banging and then flying open. Faceless things in the dark. Fire, earth, strength, everything they had. Doors slammed shut and barricades closed.

      The winter-blue of darkest midnight; one set of foot prints but two bodies. One whose weight crunched against the snow, the other whose weight crunched against your soul. Teeth floating in a void. Needles through a spine so fast there wasn't even time to scream. Not even time for the snow to turn red.

      A memory not his, of a broken perch, fire turned into ash. Faces in the darkness. Screams and shredded hearts. Fire and distraction. Distraction and fire. It burned as much as it helped.

      And then finally, the Spark Bird. 10x larger than the ones Loren could create, atop the perch. Light for miles. Solace. Safety.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

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Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
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Love mends even the broken parts
Maybe it didn’t matter with Jace. Beatrix, though, had definitely made up her mind about the summoner, and his nephew followed her lead. ”Normal children, maybe. Launceleyns...we don’t raise children to be normal.” As evidenced by the fact that he was curled into a ball on the floor of his kitchen. But it was hard to argue with the fact that he had to keep Beatrix and Jace happy and safe and loved: Loren did love them, he was keeping them safe, and he tried to make them happy, show them a life other than pain. It was hard when he’d only experienced the tortuous side of his family, and they had only experienced that as well.

Well, if words were usually all there was time for, then the Launceleyn was doomed to be forever misunderstood. ”I’ll try to say what I mean and not...what I think I should. And...what I’m about to say, I’m not asking for sympathy just, just trying to explain.” Lowering his head, he rested it on his knees again. ”I...it doesn’t come easily to me. I...they used to torture me if I cried. And I was punished if I comforted others. So...I didn’t, for a long time. I-I only started again when I was...when I was shown kindness. Because, that, it showed me there was another way and that everything I’d been through had…” Had been for naught, hadn’t needed to happen, hadn’t been strictly necessary and that had overcome the defenses he’d constructed over the years. ”Again, I will try. But I don’t think I’ll ever be good at it.” Remi probably wouldn’t understand that the summoner simply wasn’t equipped to speak freely, at least not now.

As the alchemist pulled away, the Launceleyn moved to rest one hand on the other man’s shoulder. There was more, and it was as awful as the first set of images, though more scattered and fragmented. However, they got through them, and Loren understood enough. When it was over, the summoner squeezed Remi’s shoulder.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
The alchemist shook his head, giving the summoner a disappointed look. "So that is it then? You are the one who said you hated how everyone treated your family simply because of your last name, but you are doing it to your own." He said in a gentle voice. "This is not Northaven. Do not subject them to the same upbringing you had."

Raising a brow slightly unsure what to expect, Remi listened politely as the Launceleyn explained. It was more or less what the man had said in the past, but then again Remi was prone to repeat himself, and he'd not fault the summoner for doing the same. Besides, sometimes merely saying the words and admitting them to yourself could be cathartic, even if it was under the guise of explaining it to someone else.

"I...am not related to anyone I consider family, now." The alchemist offered in a gentle tone. He wasn't sure what he'd shared of his past with the summoner—presumably at some point he had indeed mentioned that he'd been beaten, abused, used, and abandoned as a child as well—so hopefully his concern came across as understanding given similarish traumas. He'd never suffered the sort of emotional and psychological torture of course. "Perhaps you needn't be either." At some point, Loren had to stop living in the past. He couldn't keep justifying his behaviours with the sins of his family, though there didn't seem to be any kind way of saying so. Hopefully, encouraging Loren to pick his own family just as he'd pick his own path in this new world, would be enough of a start.

Remi hardly felt the summoner's fingers tighten on his shoulder. As his tear-soaked lashes finally opened, he heaved a weighty sigh and merely stared at the ground. He didn't want to die this LongNight...but he also felt he couldn't unburden himself on Loren. Not with how fragile the summoner currently was. Not knowing how it would shape the Launceleyn's actions to be even more self-sacrificing. "Now..at least you have seen some of it for yourself." He muttered after a moment.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
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Love mends even the broken parts
Apparently Loren’s words were still insufficient, given that Remi didn’t seem to understand what the Launceleyn was trying to say. That was probably at least partially his fault: he hadn’t exactly been consistent or trustworthy in his dealings with the alchemist. However, the other man also just seemed to now assume everything the summoner said was wrong or tainted somehow. ”I am showing her a better way. However, I’m also fighting against ten years of indoctrination, an indoctrination I’m still struggling with as well. I’m not going to be able to undo that in a season.” He might never be able to undo it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

However, at the mention of giving up his last name—something that Jigano had suggested as well, which was more than a bit funny—Loren sighed, and shook his head. ”There’s still a chance for Beatrix and Jace. And Peter.” They all were Launcleyns as well, and the summoner wouldn’t just abandon them. ”Moreover, if I give it up...it feels like I’m letting them win. My ancestors. I’m not saying it’s right that I feel that way. It’s just...how I feel.” Acknowledging that he had let his family’s ways defeat him to the point he had to reject the name was not something he was willing to do, not yet.

As the illusions faded—though they’d been etched into his mind forever—he pulled the other man into another hug, assuming Remi would allow it. There didn’t seem to be much to say, and the summoner had already proven that he was hardly skilled with his words. Maybe standing there in silence, offering what comfort he could, would be best. However, it didn’t feel like enough. ”Thank you. And...I’m sorry.” Mostly for making the alchemist go through all that again.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
"No, I know." The alchemist agreed softly. "That is why I was trying to point out when you fell back into old habits, like leaning heavily on the past." He added with a soft shrug. Maybe Loren would tell him to not, to let him figure it out on his own. But without someone to hold the mirror up to the Launceleyn, someone who knew who and what the family had been before Caido, Remi wasn't entirely sure Loren would progress fast enough. Perhaps that was unfair, but it wasn't just the summoner who was affected by this anymore.

"I did not mean that literally." Remi interjected. "Only that the baggage of your family's name need not be something you keep carrying around. Jace and Beatrix and Peter can still be your family, but not only because they bear the same last name." But, it was all easier said than done, and Remi wasn't so naive as to think it would be simple.

For once it was Remi's turn to be stiff in the summoner's arms. Not because he didn't want to return the gesture, but because his mind was still horribly entangled in what had happened last year; and that hadn't even been all of it. Humming a sound in the back of his throat that was as melancholy and broken as it was an acknowledgement that Loren had said something, Remi nodded distantly.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
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Love mends even the broken parts
The problem was, there was a fine line between acknowledging past hurts and how it impacted current behavior and wallowing, and the Launceleyn wasn’t sure either of them was really equipped to say which side Loren was on at any given time. Remi might think he knew better, but he didn’t remember the summoner, and obviously Loren was too close to it all and too tired to think clearly. ”I see. Thanks.” There didn’t seem to be much else he could say to that. As for his family, and his name, and their legacy, he bit his lip. ”I know. Beatrix and Jace are my family because...because I love them, and want what's best for them. And I want what's best for Peter too.” But he wasn’t alone in this, and as easy as the alchemist made it sound, the Launceleyn knew it was going to be a long, hard road. Assuming he survived that long, of course.

Well this wouldn’t do at all. From wherever he had stashed it, the summoner retrieved his sense of humor. It was dusty and rusty, and probably wouldn’t get the job done, but he wouldn’t let the other man stand there, tense and unhappy. ”It’s because I’m a skeleton, isn’t it?” Though his words might not have been humorous, and his tone was gentle and soothing, it was at least an attempt at a joke. Loren set his own lingering terror from the illusions aside for the moment, because he’d just experienced it, not lived it, and barely knew any of the people involved. Remi, on the other hand, had just re-lived what had to be one of the worst experiences of his life.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Depressed, hollowed out, and exhausted as he was, Remi snorted instantly with amusement. "Mmm, it absolutely is." He mumbled, pulling back to give the summoner a wry look. "Honestly, instead of worrying about monsters during LongNight, perhaps you ought to just focus on eating as much as you possibly can."

Letting his head loll back as he exhaled a breath that was meant to be soothing, Remi swallowed down the remainder of his grief as he swiped a hand across his still-teary eyes.

"I suppose I should go, if there is not anything else you need." Remi said. He didn't necessarily want to leave, but after everything that had been said today, nor did he think stalling was a particularly wise idea.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
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Love mends even the broken parts
Yes yes, Loren needed to eat. People kept telling him that like he didn’t know that he had an issue. Still, at least he’d made Remi laugh. Maybe the Launceleyn’s sense of humor wasn’t quite as bad as he’d thought. When the other man pulled back, the summoner let one hand fall, though he kept the other on the alchemist’s shoulder. As Remi talked about leaving, however, Loren bit his lip. Perhaps there was a way to alleviate the alchemist’s concerns. ”You could stay. For tea. Or a meal. Make sure I eat something.” Though that wasn’t something the summoner needed—though he supposed it depended on the definition of need—he found that he would like the company. Everyone else always skipped the meals he made.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
"I can do that. Though I may leave the tea-making to you. I distinctly remember burning it last time." And if Loren was making tea, he couldn't be curled up in a ball on the floor which is truly all the alchemist really wanted.

Smiling vaguely and with enough sense to shrug the Launceleyn's hand from his shoulder, Remi pulled in a deep breath and glanced around. "Well, it is your kitchen and your stomach. What do you feel like eating?"

And then, because normally the alchemist was quite good at small talk he added, "It is interesting that people still seem to be portalling in. Given the Voice was bringing us here to help break her from the barrier, I assumed with that done, we would stop seeing Outlanders." But Oliver had shown up only a few days ago. Interesting, that.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
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Love mends even the broken parts
As Remi agreed to stay for a meal, Loren felt something deep within him relax somewhat. He’d been half-expecting the other man to refuse, and while the summoner would’ve bounced back from that, it was still nice to know that he could, indeed, have normal interactions with people once he got past all his baggage. At the alchemist’s request that the Launceleyn make the tea, he nodded ”I can do that.” Then he went and poured some water in the kettle, before setting it to heat.

At the other man’s question, though, Loren paused. ”I’m not sure what’s in the pantry off the top of my head.” It was scarce, he knew that much: it was late in Deepfrost, and he’d transferred most of it to the Temple in preparation for LongNight. However, even if there had been a fully stocked kitchen, he still wasn’t sure he would know what he wanted to eat. Usually, he just made whatever was convenient, would feed multiple people, and would keep.

The comment about Outlanders still arriving was an interesting one. It wasn’t something he had an easy answer or explanation for. ”Clearly there’s more to her agenda. And if she needs mortal agents to carry it out, there aren’t that many Ascended in the Hollowed Grounds, and few others seem willing to follow her cause.” Just as Vi needed people to plant Roses, perhaps The Voice needed others to do her work for her for some reason or another. After all, considering how long she’d been imprisoned, it stood to reason she had more to do that simply lowering the barrier.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
"We could always hunt, if you are up for it." Remi said with a gentle shrug. Given his shifts it wouldn't take terribly long. While he could simply call to the animals around him and force him right to the summoner's door—and probably into a waiting pot—it felt horribly unkind and immoral to do so.

"Mmm, true enough." The alchemist agreed, leaning against the counter. "I suppose I thought with the barrier down it would all be over. I keep waiting for it to end, but..." Looking down at the counter and running his finger over a non-existence smudge, Remi sighed naively and shook his head. "I do not know how to reconcile the fact that..maybe it will never happen."

Maybe their lives would never be quiet, or easy, or predictable again. Remi didn't quite know how he felt about that.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
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Love mends even the broken parts
At the mention of a hunt, Loren’s eyes flicked over to the alchemist. The Launceleyn was not a particularly skilled hunter, though there was no way Remi would’ve known that. Especially now that the summoner’s magic was running lower than it had in a while, he probably wouldn’t be contributing much more than his presence to the effort. However, the other man probably didn’t need much more than that from Loren. ”Alright.” He took the kettle off, since it seemed they’d be waiting on their tea.

As for their future and present, the summoner sighed. He’d never really had it easy or predictable or quiet, even as a duke. ”You just...get used to it as the new normal. After a while.” Maybe that was the wrong attitude to have about it all, but there wasn’t anything they could do about it. Despite all their powers, life went on.

Assuming they did indeed go off on their hunt, he’d grab a cloak and gloves; there was no point braving the cold and snow without proper gear this time, since they might be out for a while. He made sure the pouch was securely on his belt.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
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sometimes love is all that can save us, sometimes love can kill a man
Remi shot the former-duke a skeptical look as if to say, have you gotten used to it? He thought not, but regardless, this wasn't what the alchemist wanted. He didn't want a life of herosism. He didn't want to vote on kings and queens in secret basements, didn't want to be digging tunnels to free political prisoners, didn't want to rescue, plot, or continuous lay down his life for others. He wanted his quiet workshop, the build things that made people smile and be known simply as the alchemist who would make you some stars for your ceiling, should you ask him.

"Used to it, maybe. But I do not think I will ever like it." He said with a shrug, following Loren to the door but not bothering to grab his jacket.

"Rabbit?" Remi asked, breathing in a chilly breath and squinting into the wintery-bright light. "You know, pale, thin, and flighty like you?" He said with a crooked smile, raising a brow to try and gauge the summoner's temper.
sometimes love is a soft touch, or a line drawn in the sand

Coding base by Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
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Love mends even the broken parts
Actually, Loren hadn’t expected Remi to like it. However, despite all the shit life had thrown at the alchemist—and all the crap the summoner had put the other man through—there was still a core of softness in Remi that the Launceleyn lacked. Indeed, he was so pessimistic most days that he expected the worst. He was rarely pleasantly surprised. ”I didn’t say you would.” Sometimes, learning to live with the darkness was all they could ask of themselves.

As the other man followed the summoner outside (and didn’t take a coat), he nodded at the mention of hunting a rabbit; however, when the alchemist made another quip, Loren’s eyebrows rose. Pale and thin, he’d accept. Flighty was just mean though. ”You’re the one who grows wings, not me.” Still, there was the barest glimmer of amusement in his eyes, and the corner of his lips quirked up.
loren




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