A New and Brighter Birth (OPEN)
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#15

Abasi

Grace is just weakness

Phoebe's words on being 'little specks' to the Gods annoyed Abasi no end, though he tried to stay quiet, self-aware enough to know his perception on the matter was definitely coloured by his own Gods and myths back home. The Gods, presumably, had made the humans here or brought over the ones snatched from other worlds; as far as he saw it it was their responsibility to ensure that each person in their world felt at least listened to.

"A set-back," He began to respond, feeling rather condescended to, "Is not something so grand as being refused by Gods as soon as you arrive. I have half a mind to create my own religion here and ignore these spiteful deities. The only thing stopping me going further here is that I am in their temple." Abasi crossed his arms, rather grumpy about the whole matter and not willing to give anything to the Gods that seemed determined to give him nothing.

He sighed irritably, knowing it was not Phoebe's fault. It was just so difficult, going from being a Priest, the master of knowledge on the Gods above, to a lowly pauper who could not even get one audience. At least if Phoebe had met this 'Frey', he could find out more information. "I spoke with somebody who said Frey had given them a sexual experience. Is this true of you as well? I do not know if I want to pray to them if it is a part of it."

Or so I've been told
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
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#16
I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
Phoebe raised a brow now at Oliver, a little taken aback by him pushing back on what she had to say. She folded her hands in front of her, brow furrowing slightly. ”You’ve asked me to explain the nature of the gods to you, and I have, but you protest the explanation because you don’t like its simplicity. Do you actually want me to answer your questions with truth or soothe your hurt pride with falsehoods?” she said a bit sharply, truly chastising the fair-haired young man now. She wasn’t much older than he was, but she felt ancient compared to the immaturity he was displaying.

”I’ve said once already that it isn’t about being good enough, or bringing something grand, or having some exceptional attribute. The gods look favorably on those who commit time and care in spite of being ignored. I pray to Frey and bring them offerings weekly, sometimes more, and they only visit me twice a season or so. My connection with them has been built over a year of care and trust and faith in their grace and guiding hand. To think you somehow deserve to see a god in a world you just entered because you’d like to question them or seek an easy path ahead is foolish, narcissistic, and will only lead to bad things.” she said in an almost disappointed motherly tone to Oliver. Pim nodded his head sharply, as if in agreeance.

”Of course I think it possible that someday the gods will reveal themselves to you and Abasi, but so long as that is your attitude towards the divine, Oliver, I suggest you focus more on finding confidence in your own existence. The gods have little patience for easily bruised egos.”

She was being harsh, she knew that, but she would rather hurt Oliver’s feelings and pride than let Frey teach them the same lesson – she was by far the more merciful of the two.

Her honeyed gaze turned back to Abasi as he grumbled. At least for him she could extend some empathy. To feel so rejected despite having done nothing to deserve it would be difficult – and a much different perspective than simply wishing to see a god for the sake of it. ”I can understand that would be a difficult position to be in. My home had no gods, and when I came here they were not patient with me learning the ropes of worship and faith.” she said. So though she was not Abandoned like him, her favor had had its own setback. ”But I think acting in spite would only serve to worsen your situation, wouldn’t it? Would you not be better served by trying to prove your worth to them? It isn’t unheard of for the gods to warm to someone with magic. In fact, I recall Ludo attending Fiat Lux last year with an Abandoned girl. And Frey once blessed an Abandoned woman…and Safrin gave an Abandoned man the gift of being Attuned.” she said with an encouraging smile to Abasi. It wasn’t a life sentence of being hated and ignored. It was simply a hurdle to overcome.

”Frey is the deity of sex, fertility, and passion, and they appear to humans as whatever they find most sexually attractive, and being in their presence is arousing, yes.” she said with a nod. ”However, Frey does not require any sort of sexual experience with them. I give them fruit regularly as my offering, and though they might tease me a bit, consent is important to them. Beauty, joy, pleasure, growth and life – these are the things they value most. Sex is just a component that is the avenue they happen to find most efficient to achieving these things.”
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#17
OLIVER
The man let out a sigh and struggled to look at Phoebe in the eye, obviously embarrassed that he was being chastised. She did have a point. He started to agree with her as she explained things to him, pointing out that he was being stubborn and a bit rude about this whole thing. As much as Oliver felt like he was being treated unfairly by the gods, he had to try and agree with her. Having such a negative view and being all bratty wasn't going to help him to feel any better.

Letting out a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair, now thoroughly embarrassed not only for how immature he had behaved but also that Abasi had been witness to all of it. "Sorry...I guess you have a point." She absolutely did have a major point. "Do I just...keep praying? Leaving offerings? Reading more about them?" Oliver obviously cared a lot about how the gods viewed him and wanted to learn how to better himself. If he had to expect no response for years then so be it. "I know these gods are real...I've heard the great things that they can do, so I want to show them my appreciation...and maybe I shouldn't have expected a response so quickly, especially when my demands aren't nearly as important as some others." Oliver winced as he spoke, clearly still extremely embarrassed. He was trying his best to understand how to be better, and to not anger the gods any further.

His knowledge of the gods was absolutely limited, this was proven when Phoebe went on to explain Frey and what they had done. The blush on Oliver's face darkened to a nice, very obvious red. The look on his face was one of interest but also 'wait what'. Do you just...get fucked by a god? That looks exactly like your dreams of a perfect person? Oliver was absolutely intrigued and it'd be a lie if he said he didn't want to meet Frey, but of course, Phoebe also pointed out how long the process was for her. As wonderful as meeting a really sexy god was, Oliver had already accepted that it wasn't going to happen to him any time soon....and he was okay with that.

Stammering and still blushing, Oliver tried his best to formulate a logical response. "Well...I'm glad the gods have done great things...and that Frey represents these kinds of things?" He was mostly referring to consent, but it'd be a lie if he also wasn't still super interested in sex god.

"Would the gods mind if I did leave offerings? Despite, you know...me being kind of a dick?" It was kind of Oliver's way of trying to apologize. He felt bad, like a teacher had just scolded him for passing around notes with his friend. Oliver didn't want to lose the budding relationship with Phoebe. She had been so kind to him.

Also he really wanted to pet Pim and he couldn't do that if Phoebe hated him.
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Undertaker

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#18

Abasi

Grace is just weakness

Abasi watched with raised eyebrows as Oliver and Phoebe began to have somewhat heated words. He had thought if anyone was going to argue, it would have been him with one of them (for that was how it usually went), but this was a rather welcome change of events, for it gave him the position of observer, free to listen and consider what it was that was being said.

One one hand, he could see himself in Phoebe's position. He had once been considered a representative of the Gods when he had no power at all in their decisions and had fielded many complaints from disgruntled worshippers. He'd also frequently told people they had to take their time to develop relationships with Gods; Abasi sighed as he felt his resolve softening; being 'Abandoned' still stung, but perhaps it was right that he should work harder and longer for the Gods approval before giving up.

On the other hand, he felt Oliver's anger. Softened like his own after Phoebe's words, perhaps, but it was endlessly frustrating to be where they were. To feel slighted and to not know their crime. It was the emotional warring with the rational, he balled his hands into fists and forced himself to swallow his resentment.

"Then I suppose all I can do is try to serve the people here and hope the Gods notice." Abasi sighed and pushed a hand through his hair, wondering if he wanted to voice his idea. He decided to so he could see the reaction. "I get the impression from Loren that there is no unified tradition here as to what you do with your dead - and if there are times like this regularly, there must be many dead. In my world I regularly prepared bodies in different ways...I intend to, after Longnight, build a place where I could help people to mourn and preserve the bodies of their loved ones, to aid them in whatever afterlife they will reach. Perhaps the Gods will appreciate that."

Probably not Frey though, if what Phoebe said was true. "Ludo would be the right God for that, correct? What is a good offering to bring to Ludo?"

Or so I've been told
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
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#19
I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
Oliver looked rightly chastised, which calmed the fire that had stoked in her belly (which Pim had encouraged via their connection of course). ”Of course, pray and leave offerings often, and focusing on becoming better each day. Already you are being taught a great lesson by the old gods – that you are entitled to no one’s time but your own.” Phoebe said with a small smile at Oliver. ”It is a hard lesson, but an important one.”

She looked back over at Abasi, smiling as he spoke of his idea. ”I think that is a wonderful idea, but I would caution you to take Loren’s words at face value. He is an Outlander like us and…well…he tends to have hard and fast options.” Even if faced with fact or opposing views in some cases. ”I would encourage you to seek out some of the Naturals here – Amalia the baker would be a great starting point – to inquire about their burial rites. I am certain they’ve a method, even if we do not know it; and they would greatly appreciate being included in your planning.”

The midwife nodded at the question of Ludo. ”Yes, Ludo is the herald of Mort, the god of death. Ludo helps collect wayward souls to bring them to Mort’s realm.” she explained. ”Though ancient in our idea of time, Ludo is apparently a young soul, and they appreciate toys and sweets. They actually regularly trade back and forth a puzzle box with my nephews as a game. But they can be a trickster and like illusions. So use caution when seeking them out.” she said.
phoebe


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#20
OLIVER
That much he could do. No matter how frustrated Oliver felt, he knew that Phoebe was right. The gods were testing him, no doubt. It felt a bit embarrassing that he had expected so much from the gods when he had only just arrived. Oliver knew he shouldn't be too hopeful, but he couldn't help himself. Maybe if he just started bringing offerings with the idea of not getting a response, things would be better. That way he wouldn't get his hopes up.

Turning to look at Abasi, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He had learned so little of the other man. What he had heard brought so many questions to the table. It made Oliver curious to find out more, but how could he ask without being too pushy? Oliver obviously had no idea how to do it and had a lot to learn, yet he still would continue on with asking the other man a couple of questions. "What did you used to do? Back where you came from, I mean." Oliver's voice was filled with curiosity and no real judgement. He did find it a small bit weird, but he couldn't judge. He seemed more intrigued than resentful or angry. It sounded interesting, cool even.

It was even more interesting to hear how different the gods seemed to be from each other. The god of sex would look like your fantasies, while a herald of death liked sweets. Oliver wasn't sure how comfortable he felt with the idea of speaking with a god of death, but maybe he could do some offerings. Who knows, maybe he'd take up baking and leave off half of what he made for the god.

"Ludo sounds so interesting...as do all of the gods." Oliver clearly wanted to know more about each individual god, but that would probably be saved for another day. "Do you....do you know if any of them deal with memories? Or things of that nature?" He didn't want to go into his life story, but he did want to know who to seek out for guidance. Help.

There were more things he wanted, of course. Answers as to why he was brought here. What he could do to help others. Unfortunately, Oliver had long learned that the gods most likely wouldn't have the answers to those questions. They had ignored him twice when he asked, showing that he was just going to have to find those answers himself.
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Undertaker

Age: 36 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
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#21

Abasi

Grace is just weakness

Phoebe's advice was welcome, though Abasi made a face at her opinion of Loren. "I have found him to be an honest and wise man so far, but yes, I would examine the rituals of the Naturals further before beginning such an endeavour." After all, the purpose would be to be able to carry out those rituals, as well as any Outlander ones described to him.

Her advice to seek out Amalia was noted though, as well as the ideas for offerings for Ludo. All plans for after Longnight, he supposed. Abasi nodded, wondering what kind of toy he could bring - a toy for a God of something so dark as death seemed undignified, but he could only hope Phoebe was not trying to trick him. "Alright, thank you. I will try and seek out this Amalia."

Oliver's question as to what he used to do made him smile just faintly, glad for the chance to talk about his passions. "I was a High Priest, though I often helped with the funeral preparations and body preserving tasks when there were not enough workers. After an illness, for an example, when there any many dead to handle." He spoke matter-of-factly, used enough to death it did not bother him to think of. "I would often work with the more wealthy families, removing each organ and making sure the body would not rot. It was a lengthy process, sometimes."

Or so I've been told
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
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#22
I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
Memories? ”I believe that would be Ludo, though in my experience they have taken them away. Why?” Phoebe asked Oliver. It was an odd question she thought. Memories were precious, why would he want his messed with by a god?

Abasi defended Loren, and she smiled a bit at him, though it was melancholic rather than joyful. ”I thought the same of him at first too.” she said softly, but that was all she would say on the topic. ”I am glad you will seek out the input of the Naturals. That will win you a lot of favor with them.” she said with a smile.
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#23
OLIVER
Oliver's eyes lit up with newfound interest as Abasi started to explain how things worked back where he originally came from. It sounded...somewhat familiar, like he had heard of such a thing at one point or another. Still, Oliver was captivating. Amazed even. While it sounded a bit gruesome, he still wanted to know more. It may not be something he'd want done to his body, necessarily, but it added more depth to Abasi. It could be his lack of memories that caused him to have this sort of interest, but Oliver simply loved to hear about the old traditions people used to have.

"You clearly put so much care into it...mind if I ask a couple more questions?" Oliver wanted to choose his words wisely, so not to appear mocking or insincere. Truly, he wanted to know more. If Abasi would allow him to ask more, he'd continue on with asking a couple of questions. "Why did you choose to remove the organs? What would happen to them?"

Of course, he had to worry about some other matters as well. Ludo sounded like a genuine possibility. Phoebe seemed confused, wondering why he'd ever want memories taken away. "If Ludo can take away memories, surely he can return them back." Oliver spoke with an air of positivity. Eagerness to go and speak with the god. "Besides, there isn't much he could take away. What's he going to do, take away the little memories I've formed here?" It was a bit of a challenge, but he still clearly wanted to go and talk to him. To see if maybe, just possibly, Ludo would be the answer to his problems.
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Undertaker

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#24

Abasi

Grace is just weakness

Phoebe's further, cryptic comment on Loren made Abasi squint and turn his head slightly, trying to work out what she meant. It was impossible to know of course without asking more, and he did not for fear of alienating her; she seemed a useful source of information for the current while. Perhaps later he could ask her if she had experience with the man he had been living with.

Oliver's question would have been dismissed as stupid back home, but here Abasi was glad for the chance to speak about his culture. "They are unimportant in the afterlife and will only weigh the soul down. The only important organ is the heart, which thinks for us." He patted his chest. "We would place all other organs in jars with each of the sons of Osiris depicted on them, or we might place them back in the body once it had been preserved and the soul past judgement."

Talk of memories being changed, removed, added...it unnerved Abasi, so he did not add to the conversation, hoping he would not ever end up in the position to need to know more about it.

Or so I've been told
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
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#25
I believe that the darkness reminds us where light can be
Phoebe listened quietly as Abasi described the funeral rites of his home world with interest. It was quite a hands on process it seemed. ”Who is Osiris? The God of Death from your home?” Phoebe asked, taking a guess based on the context.

But at Oliver’s quip remark about memories, Phoebe raised a brow at him. Had he seriously learned nothing from the previous conversation. ”They might take away what memories you’ve built, yes. Or perhaps they might make you incapable of forming memories at all, destined to live each day as a repeat of the previous. I would not be so quick to assume that just because the situation you are in now is bad that it could not be made worse by any of the gods, especially one as tricky as Ludo.” she said, a warning to the young man who seemed far too careless with his words and intentions to be worrying about summoning the gods. ”If I might suggest, focus on what is now, the what has been. It isn’t as though you can go back and change those things anyways. Move forward without those memories and create new ones – and perhaps in time the old ones will return.”
phoebe


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#26
OLIVER
It was interesting to hear how Abasi viewed the after life. It made Oliver wonder whether he'd want to continue up the tradition with his own body, despite there being completely different gods in this world. It was a very gruesome thought and it wasn't like Oliver wanted the dude to die...okay yeah, that's a really weird thought to consider.

"That sounds so precise and...just so interesting. Oliver hoped he wasn't offending the other man, it simply was incredible to hear tales of other people's lives.

Once again, Phoebe reminded him of how finicky the gods could be. Once she brought up that he did have a lot to lose, that Ludo really could change his life, Oliver chose to try and not be as careless with his words. It would be hard to change how he viewed things and he'd try his best to avoid careless slip ups. "Sorry, you're right..." He spoke quietly and could barely even look Phoebe in the eyes.

"I know I keep saying this, but I do want to do stuff for the gods here...or at least, I don't know, feel like they are there? Around me and you know, existing? Is there anything I can do to achieve that?" As incredible as it was to hear tales of what the gods could do, not once had he ever felt the presence of a god. Felt like they actually existed.
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Undertaker

Age: 36 | Height: 5'8" | Race: Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
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#27

Abasi

Grace is just weakness

"Yes. As well as of life, resurrection - all cycles in life, really." Abasi thought it rather simplistic that this world had such one-note deities, one for Life and one for Death; it had been accepted in his world that each God looked after a range of things and could not be easily placed into one box.

As for Oliver saying his home was interesting, he nodded. It was. As much as he was trying to get used to his new life in Caido, speaking of the Gods he had served for years, developed a relationship with...it ignited a painful nostalgia. One that made him feel melancholy and eager to be by himself for a while. "I think I will...go and rest, if that is alright." He looked to both Phoebe and Oliver and smiled tight-lipped, then walked away to find somewhere to think.

Or so I've been told


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