I've lost control of all my senses
Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
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MP: 10170
#15
Remi had warned him that Sam thought the bard hated him, so Jigano wasn’t as surprised as he might have otherwise been. The hurt had been given time to fade, for emotions to calm as he remembered the bookmaker’s quirks and odd memory lapses. He accepted the ‘oh’ with a final, gentle pat to his friend’s shoulder before he helped him stand and then began to lead the way, giving the bookmaker his arm to lean on as the Ascended seemed to totter unbalanced down the hall.

The story was remarkably coherent for Sam, and rather than risk derailing it Jigano simply listened, drinking in the words and testing the connections they made with what was already known. Did he judge the other man for his gullibility and childish petulance at proving the Voice wasn’t a careless child letting her toys rot in the yard when she was done with them? Absolutely, but he kept the words locked behind his teeth for now. It was done, it couldn’t be undone, and after what he had sparked with Amalia he was afraid of voicing any criticism of his friends at all.

He had so few friends left, and the part of him that tried to drive them away because he didn’t deserve them had done more than enough damage to those that remained.

Sam’s barrier was news to him, as was Rexanna’s ability to become invisible. Jigano merely nodded thoughtfully, filing the information away and giving his friend’s arm a reassuring pat when Sam tensed or shivered. He wanted to shiver, too, at the description of how Rex had lost her eyes, remembering the sunken lids over them as he had helped to set her broken bones. ”It bit you?” he asked, an obvious question but one he wanted to make absolutely sure of. ”Before you could determine anything about its shape or substance?” If Sam had learned at least that much maybe they could formulate a better plan for dealing with them…

The question came as Jigano paused outside a plain door, expression falling into grim lines once more as he looked to his friend with an apology in his eyes. ”We aren’t letting them have the bodies this year,” he explained, a catch in his usually controlled voice. ”Those who die on the doorstep… we’re bringing them inside so we can bury them properly after LongNight, and hopefully save their souls as well.” The lantern on his hip held, he hoped, at least two now. He pushed the door open, angling himself between whatever waited inside and his injured friend, lifting his lantern to bathe the room in its light and illuminating the two bodies already there as he did so. ”Roana… and Caiside.” His voice caught again on the second name, sorrow roughening this throat. ”I’ve been keeping an eye on them, in case… in case something tried to hitch a ride inside with them. Maybe that broken glass is result of something else going on, but I wanted to make sure they were still here and secure… just in case.”
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
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#16

Sam looked at his fingers, unsure if the wound had been a bite. That made the most sense, probably, but all there had been was darkness and then pain; he had not been able to work out what had caused his wound in the panic that had followed it. "There was...a sort of black goo on my fingers after and it had claws, because it ripped at my coat. But...I don't know anything more than that."

He didn't understand what Jigano was telling him at first when they stopped outside the door. Just as his friend began to open it he began to realise and Sam tensed, scared of what he was going to see inside.

And indeed there were bodies, but when he actually saw them he found he wasn't scared, just sad. Almost melancholic. He took a step into the room and looked them over; he had not known Roana well and Caiside had been somewhat of an enemy of his, but he still did not want to see anyone dead. "...The monster..." He began, spooked by Jigano's thoughts of something lurking inside the bodies. "As we were coming to the guild, it yelled to us that we were 'marked'. I don't...know what that means, but I d-don't like it, Jigano. I think I've made an awful mess of everything."

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#17
They already knew the beasts had claws and fangs from the state of the bodies that had been salvaged this year. Sam's expedition really had told them nothing - or at least, nothing that he had remembered to share with Jigano in his fragile mental state. For now the bard would remain ignorant of what the monsters wanted, trusting his friend and fellow Loreseeker to have at least recalled the important things.

The sight of his friend's body pulled his thoughts away from pushing the wounded and distraught bookkeeper any further and Jigano moved to gently brush a lock of gore-matted red hair from Caiside's face, jaw tightening with guilt over what he had allowed to happen to his friend. Sam's words seemed to come from a distance at first, but it was the second time he mentioned being 'marked' and the bard exhaled slowly, raising his head to meet the bookmaker's gaze soberly. "I don't know, either," he admitted. "But just to be safe, you should try and stay in the Guild for the rest of the week, if you can." With the maimed hand it only made sense, but 'sense' had very little to do with those who had decided to spend the week here.

As for a mess? The white-haired fox exhaled slowly, meeting Sam's grey-blue eyes frankly. "Not everything. We'll find a way to heal Rex properly. I'm worried for Remi, but no one will let him go out alone and unprotected. People are probably going to be mad at you for what happened to them, but... no one died, Sam." Well, Bastien was probably still alive. Maybe. "As long as everyone's still alive, it's possible to apologize and make amends." Ironic words, given Amalia's words to him at the start of the week. How many apologies did it take? How many amends? When was it too much, too far? He didn't have answers to those questions for himself, but Sam was a better man by far than he was.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
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#18

Sam watched as Jigano pushed Caiside's hair, aware that the image made him feel very uncomfortable but not sure why. He didn't say anything though - didn't know what to say, when faced with all this death and sadness. He looked away from the bodies and nodded at Jigano's advice, hardly needing it. "I have no intention of going outside, don't worry. I just...I'm scared that maybe the monsters might have a way of following me...even after Longnight. Maybe that's what 'marked' means."

Jigano's words were a comfort, helped him to calm down and think clearer, like the bard usually helped him to do. "...Yes...I...I can try my best to apologise, though I am...worried about apologising to The Voice." He realised after he said this that mentioning his Goddess to Jigano was probably not the best move, but the words were already out, so he just tried to move past them quickly.

"I still have to find where I should be, though, who I should follow, and I don't...I don't know what to do next o-or where to go. What's best. Everything is changing so much so quickly..." There was the portal as well, after Longnight. The idea of it both thrilled and terrified him.

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#19
Jigano shook his head slightly at Sam's concern, a gentle negation of the worry the bookmaker voiced. "I don't think so," he said quietly. "If they could do anything outside of LongNight they would have done it to previous generations long ago. My guess is that they'll be tracking you during this week, though. If they can catch you outside, trick or frighten you into going out into the dark, they probably will. It might remain until next year, but as long as you can stay inside with the light I think you'll be safe." 'Safe' being such a relative and uncertain word during LongNight.

He didn't want to talk about the Voice right now. This was all her damn fault as far as the bard was concerned. He had words for Sam's fears about approaching her now, exasperated comments as to how much she truly cared for the Ascended who had failed her expectations. This time the blight wasn't pushing him towards anger and unfiltered sniping, and Amalia's angry eyes were all too fresh in his memory, so he simply shook his head and looked away without comment until Sam spoke again.

"There was a time when you couldn't imagine leaving the Hollowed Grounds, even should the barrier fall," Jigano said instead, going to reluctantly check Roana's body over with far less attachment as he raised the lantern to scan the linen wrap that covered her for signs of disturbance. "When you didn't even want to go into the Greatwood..." He trailed off, expression tightening as he looked down at Roana, remembering what the Fae had told him when he'd stepped from the Mathair. "Do you have to follow anyone, Sam? There are plenty of people who don't worship or follow a specific god." Rory, for one, and Jigano's heart clenched hard at the thought of his mate alone in the farmhouse without him this week.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
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#20

Jigano's words made sense and as much as he could Sam tried to latch onto them, onto the idea that if he was careful and stayed inside he'd be fine. It seemed like a fairy story one might tell a child to keep them calm, but he had to believe it or he'd go insane flinching at every shadow and noise. "...Yes, yes you're probably right. I'll be careful."

Then again, said the greasy little voice in the back of his head, perhaps it'd be a quick death and fitting, given how you hurt everyone outside. No one would miss you anyway.

Sam began to pinch the back of his wounded hand, the pull on his skin setting off tiny reactions in the knuckles that felt like miniature knife cuts. Jigano's silence on The Voice was noted and he was glad for it, despite how awkward it was - he could not get into the discussion now.

"...But...those people aren't as tied to The Voice as we Ascended are. She basically made us, Jigano, made the fluid in our veins and the upgrades we depend on. She's inside me every minute. I can't just...go. I can't leave. And honestly, I..." He sighed, pinched hard. "I've always followed someone. Whether it was my mentor or Remi or The Voice...I don't know what I'd do if it were just me. I'm not very good at making choices."

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#21
Careful was all that Jigano could ask of anyone this week, whether they were planning to stay inside or intending to face the dark. He nodded at Sam gravely, trusting the bookmaker to keep to his word before he turned his attention back to checking the bodies. There didn't seem to be anything amiss, and he breathed a silent sigh of relief.

He turned back to his friend with a shadow of his usual raised brow, eyes dropping to the way the bookmaker plucked at his wounds. "Sam, you're doing it again," he said, mildly enough as he returned to the other man's side and opened the door again to let them return to the light and warmth of the hall. He had wanted to let the topic of the Voice drop, to leave the conversation vague, but if his friend insisted on pushing him, now, when the Voice's failed earlier experiments had just devoured three of Sam's fingers and Rexanna's eyes...

Fine. They could have that talk.

"And there's more to you than fluid and upgrades. For all she likes you to depend on her and her alone, she didn't make your souls. You weren't born Ascended. She didn't make you. She twisted what Vi and Rae gave you to suit her purpose... which isn't very good for anyone who isn't Ascended." Just ask the Fae, who were mourning their dead around the Mathair after the Voice decided she didn't want to respect their land and traditions.

"And yet you've made the choice to follow the Voice," Jigano said softly, leaning against the wall and watching Sam with tired eyes. "There's a price for leaving. There's a price for staying. A question for you, then. You don't have to answer it now, just... think about it, please. Are you more worried about her hurting you for leaving? Or are you more worried about hurting others if you stay with her?"
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
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#22

"Doing wh--oh." Sam put his hands at his side, putting them into fists. It felt strange, the absence of his three fingers in his right hand. He knew once he forgot to control it he'd probably be doing it again, but at least for the moment he had it under wraps.

It seemed despite both of their best efforts, The Voice was just demanding to be discussed. It made sense, really - she was integrated into everything Sam was struggling with at the minute in one way or another, as well as literally under his skin. "...The people that actually did make me were much worse than The Voice..." He said, quietly, feeling Jigano probably wouldn't agree.

The question posed to him was a difficult one; he wanted to immediately say of course he cared more about the potential harm he could do to others. But the words wouldn't come out, not when his loyalty to The Voice stood in the way: and he was loyal to her, even if he questioned why regularly. "...I...I'm worried about both. Because if I leave The Voice...where do I go? I won't be Ascended anymore, but the Old Gods won't take me back and my body is too changed for me to really be an Abandoned. There's...nothing left."

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#23
Given what he had been told of Sam's parents, Jigano did not actually disagree with him, just shrugged as the bookmaker deliberately misunderstood what he had been saying about his soul coming from the Old Gods. The pair of humans who had raised him might well have been little Voices in miniature; what the Voice might have become, had she not gained immortality. It was impossible to say, though. Both the Wordsworth parents and the Voice were bad in their own unique and special ways, but the Voice sugarcoated her wickedness so that it was not done overtly to Sam's face, and the bard could understand how that made it easier for his friend to swallow.

He didn't agree with it, but he at least understood it.

Even Sam's hesitance to answer wasn't a disappointment. He had meant what he said about the other man not needing to answer right away, to take the time to really think it through. "If you leave the Voice you might still be Ascended," he said mildly. "You just wouldn't be her pawn anymore. How do you know about the Old Gods, though? Has anyone ever tried to ask, on your behalf? I know they chased you off once... but they might not have thought you were serious then. If you really, truly mean it I'm willing to try and find a way." He'd been meaning to have that talk with Ludo, if the spirit guide hadn't been missing of late. Now he really would have to pray extra hard in the hopes of being granted an audience so he could bring this up with a god who might have the power to do something about it.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
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#24

To be Ascended was to be with The Voice, though, Sam thought. Perhaps it hadn't been when he had started, when she had not made herself known...but now that she was at the shrine, now that he drank from her when blood was not enough? Now that all his fellow Ascended followed her and urged him to do the same? He didn't think it possible to have fluid in his veins and not be with The Voice in at least some capacity.

Still, Jigano's offer was more intriguing than he wanted to admit. He looked away, a hand on his chin, thinking it over. He didn't think it would work, but there was the chance...a chance at a simpler life. "...Maybe...maybe you could ask, but don't say it's for me. Just...ask if they would accept an Ascended back to their ranks? I'm not saying I will, but..."

Sam gestured meaninglessly in front of him. "It might..make it easier to make these decisions, if I knew where I stood with the Old Gods."

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child


Jigano Silversmith
the Sage
Provost of the Loreseekers Soul Shepherd
Portal Guardian
Age: 36 | Height: 6'2" | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 12 - Strg: 30 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 38 - Luck: 42 - Int:
ISUMA - Mythical - Griffin (Venomous)
Played by: Cirago Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,914 | Total: 7,219
MP: 10170
#25
He didn't exactly sag with relief, but some of the weight seemed to lift from his shoulders and he gave Sam the first real smile he'd felt since they had ventured out to bring the lost and broken back into the temporary safety of the Guild hall. Even if Sam was just letting him try and help to make him feel better, he appreciated the gesture. And if Sam was serious...

"I promise," he said gratefully. "It's a very Loreseeker thing to do, if nothing else. Try to get all the information you can before making a big decision. I'll see if I can argue on the behalf of yourself... or anyone who wants to change their minds in the future," he added quietly. "And... Sam? If you do decide to remain with the Voice... I'll try and respect that decision, too." He held up a cautionary hand. "I won't pretend that I agree with it or like it, but it doesn't mean I don't care about you, or that you aren't my friend. We can disagree on things and still love and respect each other." Tempers could flare and cool again, disagreements could turn to arguments and piqued feelings, but in the end they had been through too much together to let mere gods pull them apart so easily.
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#26

Sam smiled faintly at 'a very Loreseeker thing to do'. He supposed it was, for the first time in a while feeling again like he was a part of the guild. That thought made him miss his work there massively and he tried to make a mental promise to himself to get back to it after Longnight.

He would be interested to find out what it was the Gods said to Jigano. With a nod he turned to go, when Jigano held up his hand and said his last piece, which widened Sam's smile greatly, despite everything. "Yes. I would like it to be like that very much. I'm...I'm not used to having friends like you, but I want to do it well. Thank you."

With that said, he paused, wondering if he should hug Jigano, then stopped himself and walked away. As good as he felt about their relationship, the second he left the current situation weighed back down on him, and he went upstairs.

Samuel
He took a step but then felt tired
He said, I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child




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