From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
It wasn’t really Loren’s place to question Mort, Ludo, and Delphia about how they divvied up the labor of escorting souls (not that it would stop him entirely). However, at least he would do his best to ask about the specifics of their work instead of the necessity of it. ”The barrier has been down for a while now, though, hasn’t it? Surely Ludo has done a lot to ferry the dead that were trapped to Mort already?” The Launceleyn frowned. ”How do souls get trapped anyway?” They weren’t tangible things, at least no as the summoner understood them.
Apparently Caido was as much as mystery to the demi-god as it was to the Launceleyn. That was fine by Loren: any more information about the divine realms and the world might completely overwhelm him. Instead, he nodded in acknowledgment, both to her comment about Caido and to the fact that she hadn’t meant to be critical. ”No need to apologize. Talking to the children of gods, especially gods basically none of us have met or heard much about is...well. It’s a lot for the rest of us. Especially when you try to fundamentally reshape our understanding of the world.” It was a little bit of a warning for Delphia that not everyone would be so accepting or understanding of her.
As for him, well, he was fine. ”What treatment bruised me, exactly?” He wasn’t hurt by the Abandoned thing, he was simply aware that the gods held him in low regard. ”The gods are all powerful. I can be aware of the good, and the bad, that they bring to the world, without needing to worship them.” It was an honest question, especially for one who came from a world without deities.
Humans could reason, that much was true. ”I can question my actions, yes. And I’ve determined that I’m not really harming the mud in any meaningful way.” Indeed, his water dog was still chasing the blob of mud here and there—with occasional interventions from Astra as needed—and it seemed none the worse for wear. However, her explanation of how she was embracing her human side didn’t fully satisfy the summoner. ”I thought all the gods loved all their creations?”
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
”Yes, the souls Ludo had collected during those centuries in a tangible sense have been brought to Mort.” she said. ”But there are residual after effects. Imprints in the land itself. Centuries of pain, suffering, frustration…dead unable to find peace become restless. Think of it like a bruise. The actual thing that caused it is long gone, but you still can feel the pain of it for a time after. That has yet to be healed, and I’ve the ability to feel it.” she said, frowning a bit as she looked around at the vast expanse of fields behind him. ”It hurts me to know so many suffered for so long, I hurt for Ludo who could not bring them peace while separated from Mort, I hurt for this place that has yet to recover in ways that only I can see.” she said softly, seeming to grow distant, focusing on things around him that he could not see or feel, clearly.
His voice brought her back to the conversation at hand, and pale eyes refocused on the summoner. ”I understand. It will be something for us all to get used to. But I certainly expect no instant change from anyone.” she said with a hint of a smile. She didn’t expect anything really, except perhaps to be allowed to do what she was born to do (which she would come to find out would be more difficult than she thought it would be).
Delphia gestured to the little water horse prancing around the mud. ”You are an abandoned, are you not? I would assume that would feel a bit of a slight, since you are clearly an Outlander.” she said. Only the Outlanders did not seem to have spirits come to speak to her about them, with messages of healing to convey. It was an easy assumption for her to make between that and the magical water horse.
At his analysis of the situation with the mud, she smiled and nodded. ”Then question no more if you have reached your conclusion.” she said with a shrug. There was nothing more to it than that. As far as the gods loving their creations…”Mort is the one who gave humans the capacity to love, not Vi or Rae. The way in which Rae and Vi appreciate that which they create is…beyond our comprehension. It is beyond and above love in the way that you and I understand it. Only Mort loves all as we understand love, and even that comprehension is not quite complete because it is a divine emotion, never intended for mortal minds. While I might feel it more fully than you, someone fully human, does, I still do not quite grasp it with the same mastery as Mort. In that way, I am very human by comparison.”
Well, this was all news to Loren, and he wasn’t quite sure he understood all of it. Still, he smiled at Delphia. It seemed fine that her assignment was to wipe away the lingering trauma of the trapped dead. ”You can feel and see it, but how do you actually heal something like that? And why can’t Ludo do it?” Maybe the answers were simple, but the Launceleyn didn’t know how or why something like that would be accomplished, even by a demi-god child of Mort.
She’d been warned, so the summoner just nodded at her. However, he shook his head at her next assertion, shifting the horse to a cat making it seem like it was a deliberate change and not just this writer failing to track posts. ”I’m an Abandoned, yes. But my world didn’t have gods, so I’m not beating myself up for lacking something that I never had.” That was a bit confusing, but he grinned at her, hoping she’d understand. ”Besides, I’ve met Frey twice, and while it was fun, I don’t feel that I need to be devoted to them.” Nor did Loren necessarily think the god of love wanted or demanded that of him.
It was easy enough to let the conversation about mud slide (pun intended). He was far more interested in listening to Delphia talk about the gods anyway. ”I see.” He didn’t, really: if it wasn’t love as they comprehended it, then it wasn’t really love to him. Again, though they’d gone over perceptions of the world and he didn’t really want to hear her tell him to open his mind again.
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
”I don’t know that Ludo can’t.” she said, shrugging a bit. ”But with the entire world to look after, I imagine seeing to the immediate need of find lost souls before they venture too far and are lost is more important than this…plus I can go places Ludo can’t.” she said with a smile, gesturing to the Spire. She didn’t know much about it, but she knew Safrin had been blighted because she entered it when she was not supposed to.
A world with no gods? That notion seemed to go completely over her head. ”Who made that world then if there were no gods?” she said, genuinely confused and curious all at once. To have not grown up knowing of the divine, of training oneself to see their work in the world, it was no wonder he was loathe to place his trust in them. She smiled at him warmly, the corners of her eyes crinkling as understanding washed over her. ”I can understand that. It would be quite a transition to go from nothing to so many divine beings.” she said, nodding a little. At the mention of Frey though, her small smile turned into a grin and she laughed a bit. ”I have heard that Frey is good for fun if that is what one seeks. And it doesn’t surprise me that you feel that way – Rae is not one much swayed by devotion either.” she said.
A brow arched at his simple answer, and the smile that was absent on her lips shone in her eyes. ”Do you see?” she said, doubting it. It was a difficult concept for even her to explain, given she couldn’t rightly explain that which she didn’t fully understand herself. ”It is okay to not understand. No one would hold it against you.” she said.
Maybe it was simply having all this new information to process, but Loren was having trouble keeping track of the divisions between the heralds and the old gods and their children. ”I thought Ludo, Frey, and Safrin were specifically assigned to the Hollowed Grounds, not the whole world.” At least that’s what Oia’i’o had said, and the child of Rae hadn’t known if the heralds’ duties had changed at all after the barrier fell. When Delphia gestured at the Spire—even at this distance, it was visible, towering over the Hollowed Grounds—the Launceleyn nodded in understanding. The old gods weren’t able, or wouldn’t, venture into the Spire, but apparently their children could.
Her confusion was heartening, to be honest; she wasn’t all-knowing, just all-knowing about Caido. ”No one. I lived in two worlds before Caido, and neither of them had gods.” No one to pray to, no one to worship, no one to revere except the royals. It hadn’t been difficult to transition to this world with gods, though. Well, it had been difficult to transition, but not because of any deity or all of them. ”I have discovered that there’s nothing wrong with a bit of fun every now and again.” In fact, the Launceleyn had found he quite liked sex. There was no way he’d tell a near stranger that though.
As she called him out, though, he sighed and rubbed his temples. Time to test whether she’d be disappointed. ”Not really. If it’s not the same sort of love that we experience, then I’m not sure it can or should be called love.” Giving the demi-god a sheepish smile, Loren shrugged, morphing his water creature to a spider as it continued to chase around the mud. ”That’s probably a semantic distinction though.” No real need for them to get into it.
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
Delphia nodded, confirming some of what Loren said. ”The heralds were assigned to the Hollowed Grounds while the barrier was in place, with various task given to them by Vi, Rae, and Mort. But that was specifically because of the barrier. Without it, they are not so confined.” she clarified, ever patient and kind with her words and tone.
Worlds with no gods, it seemed impossible to her. ”I cannot even imagine such a place…” she admitted with a light laugh. What happened to all of the dead? How did new things come to be? Where had it all come from? Without gods to claim the answers to those questions, how could one fathom existence? It was terrifying to her, and she was glad that such was not the case here in Caido. Whatever would she do without Mort? ”I agree. We should all pursue to get the most out of the life we have and enjoy it to the fullest. The souls that come to my father’s realm that have lived their lives to the fullest are the ones that make him happiest.” she said.
Delphia nodded again as he answered her, then responded to himself. ”At some point, it is better to simply accept that not all can be understood and find peace with that than to toil endlessly over semantics to questions beyond our reach. Finding the balance between contentment and questioning can be hard to find though.”
11-05-2019, 03:11 AM (This post was last modified: 11-05-2019, 02:15 PM by Loren.)
LOREN
Yeah, Loren knew that much, but it hadn’t been his question, not exactly. ”But have they been assigned new tasks?” Maybe Delphia had more up to date information than Oia’i’o had; the child of Rae had her memory wiped, and as far as the summoner knew, the daughter of Mort’s mind was intact. If not working the same as the Launceleyn’s was.
”Well, I’m living proof of it. And if you’re asking me to imagine mud and earth can think and feel on some level, then you should be willing to entertain that there are worlds other than this one.” His voice came out kindly enough. Still, it was rich that Delphia would ask him to at least consider taking a completely alien stance to this world, then not even try to conceptualize of a different one. Those ways of viewing and believing weren’t that far, at least not the way Loren thought about things.
At least they could agree that making the most of life was worth it. However, he couldn’t be fully happy with the demi-god’s comment about her father and the souls in his realm. Maybe that was human of the summoner, but he wasn’t ready to stop living, and wouldn’t be any time soon. They also couldn’t seem to agree on whether opening his mind to the endless possibilities of the world or accepting his limited mortal understanding and living with that was the right way to be. Well, actually, Delphia couldn’t. For his part, Loren would be content with not dealing with more earth-shattering revelations. ”That makes sense.”
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
”That depends.” Delphia said with a shrug. ”Mort’s domain is fairly straightforward, and does not change terribly much. The dead are the dead and what needs doing to maintain it is ever the same. That which Ludo oversees has merely grown to encompass all of Caido again…though they have asked that I continue to look after the Greatwood.” she explained. ”As for Frey and Safrin…who knows? The workings of Life and Nature are more fluid. Though I doubt their tasks would change much, the environment for them has changed drastically. It is possible that Vi and Rae have asked them to change their focus. But I cannot say for certain.” Life and Nature, as much as she adored them, were not things with which she concerned herself deeply. She admired them from afar, beautiful paintings wrought by masters that she gazed upon from the safety of the velvet rope set in place by her father.
The corners of her eyes crinkled with the ghost of a smile as he turned her rhetoric back on her. ”And you asked after my humanity not moments before, did you not?” she countered. It was easy to regurgitate the teachings of the gods, to spread the words of higher knowledge that her father had lovingly taught her over two decades. But to put it into practice? To walk the path of the gods without a single misstep? She was, as Loren said, still human in part after all.
Again he said her words made sense, and she laughed a bit. ”Does it? And if it does not, does it have to?” she asked, wondering where his mind would go on that. It was a question her father had posed to her on more than one occasion. Did she truly have to understand? Did she have to trust, even, the truth of any of it? The answer was no – she didn’t. Things would be as they were regardless of her understanding or trust. Her father and Vi and Rae would continue to shape the world as they had been trusted to do by Caido. Caido’s trust and knowledge superseded hers, and with each passing year, she grew ever more content and confident in knowing that all she could do was her best – whatever that was.
Loren listened to Delphia’s explanation, brow furrowed, especially when she mentioned she was in charge of the Greatwood. ”Alright, thanks for clarifying.” He flashed the demi-god a grateful smile. It slipped away as she reminded him that he’d asked about her humanity. ”I did. But if you’re going to make the same mistakes as the rest of us mortals, then I’d suggest you be careful about the standards you hold other people too.” His voice came out friendly and polite, since he was legitimately trying to be helpful.
At her question, he let out a huff of laughter. ”Not completely, but I understand enough to be content with it.” The mud made a break for it, so the summoner made a lizard out of water to block its path, before shifting the other water creature to a chicken. Now both the animals of water blocked corralled the mud.
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
Delphia’s head tilted to the side, looking at him with mild confusion. ”What standards am I holding others to?” she asked. She didn’t think she did – in fact, she was certain she had said something to the effect of not holding others to standards. That she questioned, sought to help others think and find answers – that was not a standard. Just questions. Curiosity. Wishing to help. Ones answers and choices and what they did…well there were very few situations that would lead her to hold that against another.
Her eyes drifted down to the mud as it was corralled, watching it quietly for a moment. ”Then, in this case at least, you understand more than most in my experience.” she said with a small smile.
Loren gave Delphia an apologetic smile in response to her question. "Well. You're asking me to imagine things beyond that which I can perceive." Finding his fingers drumming a beat on his thigh, he stilled them, and channeled that energy into making both of his water critters back into dogs. They continued to chase the mud as he spoke, Astra watching them with wide eyes. "And then you turn around and say you can't imagine a world without gods. So. Just be careful when you ask people to try and do something you're not capable of." Through that all, his voice was kind and polite.
As the daughter of Mort complimented him, he shrugged. "I don't know about that." Indeed, he gave her a slightly sheepish look.
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
Her head tilted in consideration of his warning. "Is that a standard I am holding you to, or an invitation to practice expanding one's perception of the world?" she asked. She thought it more the latter. "While my first reaction is I cannot fathom a world with no gods does not mean I do not try to." she added, and to prove her point, she looked at the sky, considering quietly.
"I would think it a very scary place. Not ever knowing one's origins, having no one to look out of the balance of the world and no one to intervene when it was threatened...chaos." she said softly with a shrug. Whether she was right or wrong...it was a good exercise. "It would mean I would never exist." she added. She was because of the divine. If Mort did not exist, neither would she.
"You don't need to be sure for it to be true. In time confidence will grow around it." she said encouragingly.
Loren’s brow furrowed as he considered Delphia’s question. ”It’s both, I think?” Giving her a slightly embarrassed smile, he rubbed his palm against his thigh. ”You seemed...disappointed in me earlier when I said that I would rather accept my frame of reference as the only one I’d ever be able to understand.” Rather than meet her gaze, he kept his eyes on the water. It grew into a shapeless blob as he lost interest in making animals, though it still followed the mud. Now, though, the liquid was listless and the mud itself paused, as if to try and understand the change.
Then Astra nudged him and he flashed her a genuine grin before returning his attention to the demi-god. The smile slipped away, to be replaced by a frown, as she talked about his old world. ”It wasn’t so bad. No worse than Caido, really. And you might’ve existed, just in a different form.” Strangely enough, the summoner’s tone grew defensive.
Shrugging again at her comment, the Launceleyn glanced at the woods behind her, the sky, basically anywhere but her. ”I’ll take your word for it.” His voice came out politely and kindly enough, but a hint of doubt crept into it.
look at how a single candle can both
defy and define the darkness
