From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
In your notes, you write that Loren touches his hair a lot and seems to try and communicate with a variety of subtle expressions. You aren't sure what any of it means, but as an observer and acute note-taker, you record it just the same. He replies that perhaps he does have an interest in hedonism and that the herald gave him a task. You aren't sure if this is meant to require a response from you, so you merely stare (probably awkwardly) at him. That...is the nature of heralds. You seek them out based on their intrinsic qualities, and when goals align, they send you on various quests and tasks in order to increase your understanding, gain some new perspective, etcetera. To Oia, this statement was akin to, I was cold, so I put on a sweater. "Elaborate?" You guess.
" Yes they did." You confirm. "I do not know. Presumably in some ways they obviously have. With the metaphysics of this place having fundamentally changed, so too would their respective duties." Again, this seems obvious.
"If the choice is between an ad hoc and potentially endless series of checks to ensure that comfort is maintained, or dealing with actual issues as they arise, then no, I think my purpose would be better suited utilizing that method." You explain. You enjoy arguing a great deal, finding conflicts extremely interesting. Most don't share your enthusiasm though. Tilting your head, you shake it. "I have already answered that. There is no way for me to reasonable predict what might put you in a place of discomfort. While I might have positive obligations not to harm, kill, etcetera, I do not incur further obligations to ensure your comfort simply by existing." You aren't sure where this we language has come from, but you blink it away with another shake of your head. "You offered." You point out. One of the first things he said to you was, can I help you? It isn't your fault he said it without context.
"Sometimes my twin helps me." Kai was perhaps just as strange as you were, but he was much more tolerable as well.
You don't understand wistfulness at all, but you understand the implication of what he is saying well enough. "I will inquire about this list." You agree, scribbling a note to yourself so that you don't forget.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Elaborate was the last thing Loren wanted to do but he’d brought it up, so he supposed he had to. Giving Oia’i’o a slightly embarrassed look, he tried to explain as succinctly and as steadily as possible. ”Frey asked me to cause as many orgasms as possible. In exchange, they would soothe my broken heart.” There. That was almost as clinical as the demi-god was. Almost.
Finally, they’d found something that she didn’t know. Tilting his head as he processed her explanation about the heralds, the summoner found his fingers drumming a thoughtful beat against his knee. ”But you don’t know if Rae asked Frey to change anything about their behavior or their purpose once the barrier fell?” Maybe not, if her memories about her divine parent had been stripped.
Alright, well she could conduct her examinations as she wished. As much as he liked arguing as well, he’d warned her and she knew the potential consequences. However, the corner of his mouth quirked up as she continued to respond to his attempted explanation of why she should work on her people skills. ”Is causing me discomfort not a harm?” Maybe it was only a small harm—and perhaps the potential good far outweighed it—but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth considering. And it meant that her claim to not having more obligations wasn’t as strong as she thought it was. Still, he had offered to help, she was right about that. Which is why he was here, in his underwear, in the middle of the Bone Bridge, offering suggestions for how to make her life easier.
When she brought up her twin, the Launceleyn nodded thoughtfully. ”You’re both new to to Hollowed Grounds, is that correct?” He’d have heard if there was a child of Rae running around before now. It occurred to him that he should probably extend the same offer he gave every new arrival to these lands; while she was familiar with Caido, far more than he, she was relatively ignorant of the formerly barrier-enclosed region. ”Do you have a place to stay? And are there any questions I can answer?” She’d asked a few, but about more generic or personal matters; very little had touched on the ecosystem she had professed she was studying.
When Oia’i’o agreed to ask about the list, the summoner gave her a grateful look. ”Thank you.” Then he paused. ”Or well...gratitude. If you prefer that” If she felt more comfortable with that way of speaking, he could accommodate her, even if she couldn’t or didn’t want to accommodate his wants.
You nod. "That seems consistent with what I know of them." You agree, displying absolutely no visual reaction to this information. You don't experience any internal reaction either; you've never had an orgasm before nor any sort of sexual desires or lingerings. As a human-animal yourself you will one day make yourself engage in coitus if only so you can better understand that aspect of reproduction. But for now, you are much more interested in your other obligations. "Magic and a release of endorphins." You say with an approving hum. Not that you know anything about broken hearts, either. Yours is in perfect working condition.
"It isn't relevant to my task here. I am not here to observe them. Perhaps Rae did not feel the need to tell me that information, so that I would deliver an unbiased report." Not that you have any positive or negative feelings towards the herald, but given you share some sort of distant familial relation, it is possible.
"Not a harm that confers an obligation to me, no." You say with a shake of your head. Then again, your moral system is very narrow; very few things confer rights-related obligations onto others.
"Agree. We waited for the end of LongNight outside where the barrier once was and entered at dawn." Just a few days. "We are currently staying in the woodlands." Now that this conversation had progressed, you find yourself becoming increasingly frustrated by how the man speaks to you. Remembering something Kai said once ("Just tell 'em what you need, Oia!"") you decide to do just that. "I find your questions vast and hard to understand. There probably are questions that you can answer, but which ones? What order do I ask them in? Will you be uncomfortable? Do I require permission?" There seems to be no end to the amount of ways rattling around in your mind, to basically say, "I don't understand your question".
Nervously almost, one of your shoulders rises and your nose and lips give a bit of a tick as you suddenly look away. Breathing out steadily to try and regain control over your features, one of your eyes blinks rapidly as you seem to wince to the side. After a moment this episode seems to pass, and you raise your eyes again and strangely, there is something like shame in them.
"Acknowledgement." You reply, with a nod.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
At least Frey was acting according to their nature. The summoner didn’t know why that brought him comfort—maybe it had something to do with Oia’i’o’s completely matter-of-fact response to his task—but it did. Indeed, his embarrassment fled swiftly. At her comment about magic and something else, he gave her another quizzical look. ”What are endorphins?” Magic, at least, he could understand.
Bias came up again and the Launceleyn hesitated. Apparently, despite the fact that the heralds had been placed into the barrier, and the children of Rae were here to record what had happened inside the barrier, the heralds weren’t part of the examination. ”Why aren’t the heralds part of your report? They intervened in many lives and events while the barrier was up. And after.” In ways that surely impacted the results of the demi-gods’ study.
Before he could respond to the news that she and her twin were staying in the woodlands, Loren noticed that her words began to spiral and her actions grew more than a bit frantic. Crap. He’d managed to upset the previously unflappable woman. Giving her a concerned look, he raised his hands in a placating gesture. ”Hey no, it’s okay. You’re fine. Breathe.” Once she regained control of herself (and acknowledged his request), he took his own advice and let out a long sigh. ”I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to distress you” He had a special talent for upsetting people.
He probably shouldn’t answer every single one of her concerns, but he didn’t know what else to do. The first was easy enough: he could break down what she might need into smaller chunks. ”If I don’t know the answer, I’ll let you know. You can ask them in whatever order you feel makes the most sense, I won’t be uncomfortable, and you never need my permission to ask me a question.” He might not answer them, but she could ask. ”Would you and your twin like to stay with me while you’re completing your assignment? I have a large house with some empty rooms. It would likely be more comfortable, and you could store your records in a place where they're less likely to be damaged.” While he had far fewer rooms than before, given all the strays he’d collected, there was some space. It had something to do with the fact that very few of his houseguest actually seemed to stick around for long.
"Chemicals released in your brain in response to various stimuli. Orgasms release endorphins that make you feel good." So you've been told. "There are other ways of triggering them as well. Rae's primary purpose in creating them was to help inhibiting pain when appropriate. That Frey uses the positive benefits is rather clever." Which from you, is about the highest praise possible.
"Because they aren't." You reply. It isn't your job to question Rae, but merely to complete your tasks as they are assigned to you. Presumably if the scope of your assessment was too large, you'd not be able to do a sufficiently accurate job of it. Besides, Rae could simply call upon Frey at any time. What they couldn't do was come down here and inspect things as easily for themselves.
"Acknowledged. It happens sometimes." You reply a touch sheepishly, turning your attention back to your notes and writing something relatively superfluous to try and distract your mind. As he tries to answer your questions, you focus on single point on the page, feeling slightly more centered as he gives a bit of structure. It soothes you, and you can feel your heart-rate dropping to something more manageable.
"A large house." You repeat, nose crinkling a fraction with dislike. "Many rooms. Many handles, many hallways, many noises, many people?" You can feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, your eyes growing large.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Loren could probably use some endorphins right now. The sheer volume of information that Oia’i’o presented (and presented as if it was a simple concept) was giving him a headache. While he didn’t want her to stop, for fear that he wouldn’t get another chance to ask her questions, at least not any time soon, he would need to sit and think and process for a long time after this. For now, he just rubbed his temples. ”What are chemicals? And what are they doing in my brain?” Chemicals weren’t familiar to him, and he didn’t know why they were in his brain or what that had to do with anything. Still, it was apparently a natural process, so he probably shouldn’t get too worked up about it.
But he would very much like it if the demi-god stopped dropping such information so casually.
It was hard to respond to such a blunt response about the heralds. Besides, he had much more to concern himself with, since apparently his efforts to be helpful were backfiring spectacularly. At least she calmed down as she wrote and as he spoke.
At least until he brought up the Manor; at that point, she panicked again, and he held up his hands in that calming gesture once more. His voice was similarly soothing. ”It was just a suggestion. You don’t have to stay there. There are smaller, less crowded accommodations available for you and your twin, assuming you don’t want to stay in the woodlands.” There were many handles and hallways in his home, yes—though it was a weird thing to get worked up about—though it was relatively quiet and sometimes so lonely the Launceleyn felt he was the only one staying there. But he wasn’t forcing it on Oia’i’o.
You exhale realizing that you are speaking passed what he understands. "You remember how we spoke of matter? You use matter to make chemicals. Just like you can use matter to make big things, like houses and bridges, it can be used to make small things too. The—" You make a vague sort of wispy motion with your hands, —feeling you get from an orgasm, is made up of those chemicals." Simple enough? You aren't sure.
"I want to stay in the woodlands." You reply. "It is quiet and I understand it. And there are no rugs or wallpaper." You have a thing about aesthetics and visual-texture. You also get lost almost instantly inside of in-organic structures like houses. In the woods? You could find your way anywhere you needed to be. In a small house? You'd back yourself into a corner and panic.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Yes, Loren remembered his clumsy attempts to comprehend matter. It was a recent enough development and conversation that even the occasionally forgetful, careless, and thickheaded Launceleyn could remember it. Using that as a base (which would be a funny joke if he actually understood any of the subject matter they were discussing), it was much easier to tackle the topic of chemicals. Or at least he hoped so. ”So matter comes in different sizes? And chemicals can make me feel things?” He was basically just parroting back what she’d just said, but at this point his mind was feeling overtaxed.
Apparently Oia’i’o’s dislike of houses extended to more than just large buildings, but to being indoors more generally. ”Okay! You should stay wherever you're most comfortable. If you need me, though, I’ll likely be at the Launceleyn Manor. If you can’t find it, or me, ask around and someone will know where I am. Otherwise, you can always leave a note.” The Hollowed Grounds were a small enough community—and the area was small enough as well—that usually it wasn’t too difficult to track people down.
He felt his fingers drumming a thoughtful pattern again. The demi-god was knowledgeable, far more knowledgeable than anyone the summoner had ever known. ”Listen, I was thinking about starting a um, school. You seem to have more information about the world than anyone that I’ve ever met so I was wondering…” he trailed off, before taking a deep and steadying breath. ”I was wondering if you might be willing to teach others what you’ve just taught me.” He wouldn’t be the only one fascinated to hear what she’d just said. However, it sounded as if her assignment from her parent took precedence over all else, so he wasn’t getting his hopes up.
"Yes." You don't really think you should bring up atoms or anything smaller than that. Likely Loren didn't have the ability to comprehend if only because the scope was so horrifically different from anything he could understand. There was nothing sufficiently large or small enough in the furniture of the universe as he understood it, to make it at all clear. So you concede with a nod. "They are." You have to metaphorically bite your tongue to keep from elaborating. Technically they are and aren't what make you feel things, insofar as they are the technical cause, but not the exterior cause. But you'll wait and see if how he does with what you've told him so far before going on.
At this open invitation, you again feel the world begin to swell around you. If you needed him? Why would you? And should you ask around, or leave a note? Feeling your breathing quicken, you nod and pull air in through your nose.
'I like music." You say, tilting your head as his fingers tapped out an errant rhythm, before falling silent again as he began to speak. "People don't like talking to me." You reply, though there is no sadness in your voice or your face. It's a fact. "I don't understand them and they don't like me. Only Kai understands and likes me."
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Seemed that Loren was getting the hang of this whole building blocks of the universe thing not that he actually knew that phrase, but hey, narrative license. Still, he couldn’t help but feel that there was a lot that Oia’i’o wasn’t telling him, and a lot that she was dumbing down. Still, given how complicated the subject matter was, that was totally fine by him. He wasn’t sure his brain, even with endorphins, could take much more learning right now.
Then, though, he had to watch as his simple offer to help—or at least what he had thought was a simple offer to help, but apparently not—caused her to freak out again. At least he knew she was capable of getting herself under control, and he let her work it out. This time, he wisely kept his mouth shut.
Or at least he kept his mouth shut until she started talking about music. ”I like music too.” With that, he dismissed his unicorn and called upon three wood thrushes; one appeared on each shoulder and the third on his head. Immediately, birdsong filled the air. He figured he looked ridiculous, though he gave her a genuine smile. ”I don’t mind talking to you.” He was pretty sure Kai was Oia’i’o’s twin. Something occurred to him, though, and he tilted his head, causing two of the birds to hop to keep their balance. ”Do you remember speaking to many people other than Kai?” Given that her memories had been stripped, the Launceleyn figured she might think of herself as bad with people, but she couldn’t know that for certain.
Watching with wide-eyed interest now, you actually smile a little at the sight of the birds. You know they aren't properly real, but there's something a bit amazing about that. Something about the sentience that is comprised of almost nothing, something about the metaphysics of where they either do or don't spend their time when not summoned. "Freeze." You say, looking at the one on Loren's shoulder and, it does. Or more properly, time around it freezes.
Leaning forward into that hey-haven't-you-heard-of-personal-space zone, you tilt your head nearly nose to nose with the thrush now. Squinting you take in the detail with an air of awe, and you give off the distinct impression that you could sit this way for hours, staring at the frozen creature. How as Loren mentions that he doesn't mind talking to you, you swallow hard, looking uncomfortable. It's one of the first real emotions that you've showed in any obvious capacity thus far. "Resume." You mutter, and time reasserts itself around the bird as you hastily lean back.
"Yes. My memories relating to my homeland have been taken, but not the people themselves. It is blurred so that I will not make any unnecessary connections between there and here." And not, you know, because of spoilers or anything.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Loren didn’t know what he was expecting when he summoned the songbirds. However, the slight smile from Oia’i’o was enough to draw a full grin from his lips. That grin froze in place along with the bird when she gave her command, and his eyes widened in shock. Glancing over at his creature, he tried to give it orders, but to no avail: it was frozen as thoroughly as anything caught in water during Deepfrost. That display of power cowed him. So as she leaned forward to inspect the bird, he practically held his breath, worried about what she might do if he moved.
Thankfully, she released the bird before too long. He let out his breath at the same time. Given how perturbed—not necessarily in a bad way, but it had certainly been surprising—he was, he completely missed how uncomfortable she felt when he told her he didn’t mind her company. ”How did you do that? Can you freeze time?” That seemed like a power beyond a mere demi-god. However, he was relatively ignorant of what the children of gods could do. Perhaps they were all this strong. If so, he vastly revised his estimation of her.
At her explanation of exactly what had been done to her memories, he frowned. They’d already covered this ground, at least in part, and she’d explained that her faith in Rae overrode her concern about her lost memories. ”And none of them other than Kai understood you?” She didn’t seem mean or inscrutable, just a little off. Then again, many people lacked the patience to deal with those who were different. However, as someone who’d been an outcast most his life (dukedom aside), the Launceleyn wasn’t going to walk away just because the conversation didn’t follow the scripts he was used.
"Mmm.." For once your measured countenance slips and you hum the feat beats it takes your mind to formulate an answer. "In a way. The focus isn't on freezing time exactly, but preserving what is inside. When I am stronger I will be able to freeze more than just a mere bird, but for now, this is about the extent of what I can do. It helps me study them, and is also useful when Kai and I find ourselves injured during the course of our research." Being able to, for instance, freeze the time around a small wound removes the pain and makes it infinitely easier to heal after.
"I...do not understand social cues. I perceive the world differently. Kai says it is okay,. but that others just don't understand it." Had this world the vocabulary of various spectrums and the names for the disorders upon them, you might have had a much easier time explaining just what it is that was so off about you. Your quirks and literal ticks, your inability to read social situations, your misunderstandings of facial expressions and tones of voice. "Kai has tried to teach me about expressions and what different ranges of voice mean, and what they mean when combined." He's tried to teach you a number of other helpful things (saying please and thank you), but it's an awful lot to remember, and because you don't really understand its importance, you find yourself forgetting.
of course it's exhausting, having to reason all the time in a universe which wasn't meant to be reasonable.
Apparently, Oia’i’o’s ability was localized. However, that didn’t exactly make the Launceleyn feel much better. ”How do you know how your abilities will progress?” The summoner had been manifesting new magics at random, so the fact that the demi-god was so certain was surprising. ”Does it only apply to animals? Or could you freeze a person?” That thought frankly terrified him, and he shivered. However, he was far more concerned with the last thing she’d said. ”Are you hurt? As I said, I have healing magic.” She’d pulled away from his touch, which might make it difficult to administer. Of course, he wasn’t assuming she’d want or need his help. Been there, done that, found out how shitty the postcards were.
Although he might’ve just been reading too much into it, from what Oia’i’o was saying, Kai—who Loren was still assuming was her twin—was the one who’d told her people wouldn’t accept her. ”Has anyone else complained? Or has Kai just warned you that others might react poorly?” The summoner knew a little bit about having a twin. Of course, Neron had been a straight up dick, but sometimes even nice twins overstepped.
