the edge of water
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
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MP: 3415
#15
Love mends even the broken parts
Loren shrugged. ”If I don’t worry about the future, I’m worried I might not have a future.” Unlike Phoebe, who seemed to be practicing detachment, the summoner’s voice held a frankness to it. He smiled, though, at her question. ”Well there’s this miraculous thing called friendship people keep telling me about. I don’t know how it works, but it’s supposed to work wonders for your emotions.” The words held a lightly teasing tone to them.

It stayed there as she talked about him being his own worst critic. ”Clearly you haven’t met my blood relatives.” Still, he nodded as she asked him to let her come to her own judgments. ”Can do.”

Glancing at the triplets, the summoner smiled a bit guiltily. ”Sorry.” Then, though, his expression hardened. ”Oh shut up with the self-pity.” His voice was weirdly cheerful. ”Very few people are beloved of the gods, very few people have a loving family, and very few can say they’re in charge of a large and important institution, let alone all three. By your metrics, I’m a total waste of space.” Pausing, his eyes searched her features for some sign of how she was feeling. ”I think you’ve got a weird sense of what’s special and what isn’t.” His tone came out quietly, but firmly.
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
Midwife

Age: 26 | Height: 5'9" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Greatwood
Level: 5 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 46 - Endr: 41 - Luck: 41 - Int:
PIM - Mythical - Dragon (Electricity) BRANBAST - Mythical - Sear Cat (Speech)
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#16
PHOEBE
Phoebe shook her head a bit. ”You jump from one extreme to another.” she said with a light laugh. ”I’m not saying don’t worry at all, I’m saying worry a little less.” she clarified. Everyone could do with a little less worrying in their lives after all, and it was something she struggled with herself, so she understood why it was difficult. His description of friendship brought a small smile to her face though and she laughed quietly. ”I suppose it is miraculous in a way, if you can find some good ones.” she said. ”So that would’ve been your solution then?”

She shrugged a bit at his comment about his relatives, and their inclinations for criticism. ”I haven’t but I figure anyone with a family reputation like yours is a bit of an outlier and not exactly useful for comparison.” she said with a small smirk.

But to be accused of self-pity made her nose wrinkle. ”I am not self-pitying!.” she said with a huff, crossing her arms. Loren repeated some of her accomplishments in context and she sighed, looking out over the water of the Oasis. ”Maybe I do.” she said with a slight shrug. ”Special people have a voice. They have a say and sway. I’ve a great many blessings and a great many accomplishments, but it doesn’t make me special.” she said.
You thought you'd watch me fade away
When you broke me into pieces
But I gave I gave each piece a name
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#17
Love mends even the broken parts
Shrugging, Loren nodded. ”Yes. And?” Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair. ”I don’t know how to do that.” Letting out a huff of laughter, the corners of his lips quirked up. ”But if you figure it out, let me know?” He offered Phoebe a tentative smile.

It turned into a real smile as she laughed. ”Working on it. Believe me, I am trying.” However, his smile and his good cheer faltered at her question. ”It would’ve.” His voice was as quiet as her laugh had just been.

He smiled again, though this time it failed to reach his eyes. ”Still means I’m not my own worst critic.” Although he tried to be teasing, he couldn’t help the sad tone from creeping into his voice. Tilting his head, he crossed his arms, a slight frown replacing the awkward smile. ”Why don’t you think you have a sway and a voice?”
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
Midwife

Age: 26 | Height: 5'9" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Greatwood
Level: 5 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 46 - Endr: 41 - Luck: 41 - Int:
PIM - Mythical - Dragon (Electricity) BRANBAST - Mythical - Sear Cat (Speech)
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#18
PHOEBE
She smiled a bit and shrugged her shoulders. "It is an active thing. When you feel your emotions rising with worry, force yourself to pause and ask yourself if it is something you have reason to be getting worked up for." she said. It was a practice she had put into place for herself and her own sanity as of late. If she didn't she would literally run herself into the ground.

"It can be disheartening to realize how hard it is to come by such friends, isn't it?" she said with a light laugh, looking out over the water of the Oasis. As her confirmed that that would have been his solution, she nodded slightly. It wasn't a bad solution honestly...she just wasn't sure if it would have worked. But then she was ready to let the topic drop. It was in the past and pointless to discuss really.

"Still means you're arguing that an insane person is more particular than you...which is not the basis of critique I tend to base my views on." she said with a slight smirk. That he was so confused about her own view on herself though was troubling to her. Why did it matter, and wasn't it clear enough? "Because I don't. No one takes me seriously. Look at the blight - I was correct, it was the Ascended and the Voice and not a single person believed me until one admitted to it. Were I Amalia or Remi or Wessex or Ronin it would have been believed in a heartbeat." she explained softly. "No one comes to me seeking my opinion or guidance. They do not seek my help. They do not seek me...for anything, save that which pertains to practice, and even then they are dubious. Those with voice and sway are sought by people. I am not. And it is fine, there is nothing wrong with it. It simply is."
You thought you'd watch me fade away
When you broke me into pieces
But I gave I gave each piece a name
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#19
Love mends even the broken parts
Sighing, Loren ran a hand through his hair. ”And when I find that I have reason, but others disagree with me?” He glanced at Phoebe, his expression unreadable and tone inscrutable.

Letting out a little huff of laughter, he shook his head. ”I am certainly a bad friend. Working on being a better one, though, so I hope others could and will do the same.” He offered the midwife a tentative smile.

As she commented on Zariah (and the rest of the Launceleyns) though, the summoner’s smile slipped away. ”You think my family is insane?” His tone was troubled, and he searched the midwife’s features for some clue to how she felt.

As she began to speak about herself, he fell silent, letting her get it out. When she finished, he was quiet for a long while. ”Word of advice?” His tone was carefully even, and his face was a neutral mask, though his eyes were friendly.
loren




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Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
Midwife

Age: 26 | Height: 5'9" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Greatwood
Level: 5 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 46 - Endr: 41 - Luck: 41 - Int:
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#20
PHOEBE
"Compromise." she said, shrugging a bit. "In my case, usually I continue to worry, but accept that I cannot or should not intervene. Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply wait to catch people when they fall, rather than stop the fall from happening." she noted. As if on cue, Jax slipped on the mud and fell over. But he was quick to get back up, continuing to chase his brothers as though it had never happened.

His statement confused her though, and she glanced at him with furrowed brows. "How are you a bad friend?" she asked.

But her expression quickly softened as she realized her slip up. "Just Zariah. Sorry, that was an unfair and incorrect generalization." she said correcting herself quickly. "Edrei was the only other one I ever met, and her only briefly." So saying, she supposed it was possible his family was insane and he and Edrei outliers.

"Yes?" she said after his pause, glancing up at him.
You thought you'd watch me fade away
When you broke me into pieces
But I gave I gave each piece a name
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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MP: 3415
#21
Love mends even the broken parts
Although Loren sighed at her words, he nodded. ”I’ll try.” His eyes tracked Jax as the boy fell, but he sprang up again so the summoner just shrugged before turning his attention back to Phoebe. Her question caused him to cross his arms and look away again. ”I’m unreliable, bad at communicating when there are updates at my life, and even worse at asking people what they want before jumping to assumptions.”

Waving away her concern, the corners of his mouth quirked up, though his eyes were sad. ”It’s alright. Edy had her quirks. And I’m certainly not the picture of mental stability.” Although the words were slightly depressing, his tone was mostly even.

He was quiet for a long time. Then he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. ”I wish it was about being right, and what you said, but it’s not always.” Giving her a half-apologetic half-guilty smile, he continued. ”Sometimes it’s about how you say it, where you say it, and who you say it to.” The smile slipped away. "You probably already know that. But...it's important to keep in mind, especially if you do want to be someone people respect, and come to for advice."
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
Midwife

Age: 26 | Height: 5'9" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Greatwood
Level: 5 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 46 - Endr: 41 - Luck: 41 - Int:
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#22
PHOEBE
The midwife considered quietly, tilting her head side to side. ”I can see why those traits might be problematic, but I am not sure it would make you a bad friend.” she said with a slight shrug. Or perhaps it was that she was simply too forgiving. Either way, she could think of many worse things that a person could do whilst calling themselves a friend.

”Regardless, it wasn’t a kind implication. So I’m sorry.” she said, shaking her head. She needed to choose her words more wisely and carefully.

Phoebe listened quietly as he gave his advice, and though it was sound, she wasn’t sure she liked what it implied, given the details of how and where and when she said the truths she had. ”Well, if I am to be judged on how and where and when I said things while blighted myself, I doubt there is anything I can do to change that perception going forward.” she said.
You thought you'd watch me fade away
When you broke me into pieces
But I gave I gave each piece a name
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#23
Love mends even the broken parts
At Phoebe’s analysis, Loren shrugged. ”They certainly don’t make me a good one.” Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair, though he shot her a grateful smile. Then he waved away her apology. ”No need to apologize.” He genuinely meant that.

However, he immediately shook his head. "I disagree." Grinning at her, he tilted his head. "If I can be forgiven for the sh—stuff I pulled over the past year or so, I'm pretty sure people will find it in their hearts to forgive you for things you had no control over while you were blighted." His tone was as gentle and comforting as he could manage. "You just need to be patient." Then his expression softened. "Which sucks. A lot."

Then he dropped his voice to a whisper that only she could hear, leaning forward to ensure it. "And if they don't forgive you, fuck them."
loren




Coding base by Sky!
Phoebe Steadman
the Nightingale
Midwife

Age: 26 | Height: 5'9" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Greatwood
Level: 5 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 46 - Endr: 41 - Luck: 41 - Int:
PIM - Mythical - Dragon (Electricity) BRANBAST - Mythical - Sear Cat (Speech)
Played by: Grant Offline
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#24
PHOEBE
Phoebe listened quietly to Loren’s words and advice, wondering if she could muster the heart to believe in them. Moreover she wondered if she even cared enough to believe in them. She had enough on her plate as it was, whether people forgave her blighted actions or sought her advice was the least of her concerns by far. That he tried to cheer her up though was nice she supposed.

”Thank you. I’ll try to keep that in mind.” she said with a small smile before standing. ”But I better get these boys home. It is almost lunch time and then hopefully a nap. Maybe for all of us.” she said with a light laugh, gathering up the things she brought. ”Come on boys, time to go home and wash up for lunch!” she called, and the three muddy boys came running over like ducklings to their momma. ”Thanks for chatting, Loren.” she said in parting, before heading back towards the settlement.

{FINISHED}
You thought you'd watch me fade away
When you broke me into pieces
But I gave I gave each piece a name


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