Maybe, I’m Sure

PETER

”It’s not intruding.” Peter insisted, softer now in the face of her denial. ”Please, there... there’s room to spare. Everyone but... but Loren is in... is going to Halo.” He entwines his fingers together, a show of restless energy where he is unwilling to move his feet. Finally though, his excitement fades away completely, a somber look on his face as he shares the news. ”The um... the Rathskeller burned down. Over Longnight.”

It was just one more drop in the bucket of things that had changed, but still Peter pausend, giving Maea a moment to absorb what he’d said before continuing, and answering her question. ”They are, yes.” He confirmed, voice still soft. ”They’ve been kind to me.” It might come off as horribly naive, but Peter had been trapped under worse thumbs than the Launceleyns.

and our memories defeat us
and I’ll end this duress

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." Her continued refusal of the offer was gentle, grateful but determined none the less. Maea wanted to explore her other options first, wanted to make use of her own resources before she took advantage of others. Call it pride, independence or stubbornness, none of it was wrong, and she held fast to them now that she'd lost pretty much everything else. She was horrified to hear about the Rathskeller, and switched over to that subject even as she told herself that if Peter ever wound up regretting his choice of family, she'd help him get out again if she could. If it ever came to that. "Why, what happened?" she asked him. The old tavern had existed as long as the Hollowed Grounds, as far as she knew. It had been a gathering place, a home on LongNights and a natural part of the community. If it was gone.... where would people go to eat? To drink, make merry?

PETER

Peter felt bad for the distress his news had caused Maea, and he felt even worse that all he could offer was a weak shrug. ”I wasn’t staying there, so I... i don’t know all the details. But I think... something got in? Monsters or... something.” He sighed softly, then tried to offer good news.

”There’s a bar, a new bar though. Called the um... the VlamVloed?” His tongue tripped over the name, but he was close enough. Peter pushed off the fence entirely then, offering a hand to Maea. ”I can take you? Maybe... maybe they’ll have a spare bed?” He would lead her to the bar, if she’d let him. Really, it was the least he could do.

and our memories defeat us
and I’ll end this duress

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." The news did sting - another precious thing to consent to the flames - but she didn't say anything more about it when Peter mentioned monsters. It was all he had to say. She understood. Throwing a glance at the house, she remembered what it had been like the last time she came home after having been gone for too long. The broken door, the slaughtered sheep, the stains of blood on the threshold and only the cold wind to answer when she called her brother's name. Better that the pub had burned. At least that kind of passing was a bit dignified. Not this rotting corpse left out for scavengers to pick clean. Taking a deep breath, she shifted focus back to Peter as he went on, talked about a new bar. She hated to turn him down again, but even if she had to sleep in the barn tonight there was too much for her to do here to head all the way back into the Settlement. And she wasn't sure she wanted to see the new replacement. She wanted to mourn the ghost of what had been first, before she could move on. "I'm sorry, Peter, I can't. I have to see what can be salvaged here, if there's anything I can still use. Clothes, valuables..." she shrugged helplessly and the way she looked at him expressed a deeper sadness than even her voice could convey. "Maybe another time? I promise I'll come with you wherever you want as soon as this is taken care of."

PETER

Peter didn’t know what he could say. He could see the pain in Maea’s face, clearly as he could see the sun in the sky, but he had no idea what to do about it. What he could do about it. As her eyes moved away from him, swept over the rotting remains of a life that had to have thrived, once, he stepped closer, shoulder to shoulder, hoping it was enough, hoping it was a gesture she recognized as akin to a hug, coming from him.

It was worse when she turned to look at him. He could feel the sorrow radiating off her Pierce his own chest, and he nodded, knowing when to leave someone to their own devices. Stepping back, he hesitated for a moment, almost not saying his next piece. ”Of course. I... I’ll come back later. Or... when you need me.” Then he offered her a look that tried very hard to be a smile, though it lacked all its warmth, and he stepped away, heading back towards town and doing his level best to not look back.

End

and our memories defeat us
and I’ll end this duress

M  A   E    A I talked to God to no avail Said, "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time." She felt his shoulder press into hers, saw the sincerity in his eyes - the helplessness when he couldn't offer anything to make things better - and she found his hand to catch it in a quick, grateful squeeze. Maea wasn't much of a hugger either, so she appreciated the simple gesture for what it was and felt blessed to have friends like him. "Thank you. Your offers mean a lot, I just want you to know that." They simply... came at a bad time. But next time they met? She would make sure to be happier, brighter, accept his help the way he deserved. When Peter made to leave, she wanted to change her mind and go after him. Leave this all to it's demise, start over fresh like she was the outlander and he the native to pick up her pieces. Reverse their roles, rely on him the way he had on her that day when they'd first met. But... she couldn't. So he left. And she lingered. And in the silence that returned, she finally let the tears fall, rolling freely down her cheeks. Out here, where no one went (but him) there was no one to hear her cry. ---- - FIN