From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
01-23-2020, 03:23 PM (This post was last modified: 01-23-2020, 03:24 PM by Loren.)
there's light at the edge of the darkness
Throughout Amalia’s story, Loren continued his weaving. The basket took shape fairly quickly, all things considered, and he soon had the base finished. He started on the handle as the baker answered the Launceleyn’s question, and then went on to talk about how she'd failed to make up with her mother before Rishima's death.
It was only then that the summoner stilled, both hands and magic quieting. His eyes had grown distant. "It's not stupid. It's...human. Normal." Bending his head, he blinked away his own tears. "That doesn't make it hurt any less." The words carried a world of guilt.
He took a deep and shuddering breath. "Nobody's perfect. But...others are usually much quicker to forgive us than we're able to forgive ourselves. I think...if you can find it within yourself, it might be...good for you to forgive yourself for not making up with her in time." His voice was soft, words gentle.
Cautiously, as if Amalia was an animal that might spook (and because he still wasn't sure the extent of her injuries), Loren reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. "Because, while I never had the privilege of knowing your mother, I'm sure she loved you. And I'm sure, if she was here, that's what she'd want you to do." His tone was more than a bit tentative and hesitant.
But he was pretty certain, if Rishima had been any good as a healer, that he was speaking the truth.
I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
& I knew that somehow I could find my way back
His gentle instruction has her looking back up, a wry smile belied by the empathy in her eyes. "Maybe you ought to try that sometime, too," she replies just as gently, but there is no accusation behind the words. Gods know she knows how hard it can be to let go of mistakes made in the past. Gods know all of hers haunt her nightly, laughing merrily when she cannot sleep.
She does not pull away from his hand on her shoulder, but lets her eyes trail over it thoughtfully before reaching up to cover his fingers with her own. "Your mother loved you, too," she whispers, squeezing softly on his hand. "I'm sorry you didn't get more time with her. And I... I think she would be proud of you. I am. You're a good person, Loren. Even if you do make mistakes."
then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
Loren shrugged, though he smiled faintly. Unsurprisingly, it didn’t reach his eyes. ”I ought to. But we both know that’s easier said than done.” The words were soft, and his expression grew sad. "And I actually have done more than a few things I should feel guilty about." The admission was underscored with a weary acceptance.
As Amalia squeezed his hand, he tried to muster up a real smile, but was only partially successful. As she began to speak about his mother, however, he snorted. Gently, he extracted his hand. "Oh no she'd be horrified." He put the finishing touches on the handle of his own basket.
Simultaneously, he reached out with tendrils of his magic to pick up where the baker left off on her own. "Launceleyns aren't supposed to be good people, remember? We're supposed to be strong, and to never break." He shot her a quick glance. "So it's a good thing I'm not so sure as you that I am one." The words were self-deprecating, yes, but they held a grain of truth to them as well. "But I appreciate you saying so."
I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
& I knew that somehow I could find my way back
Launceleyns aren't supposed to be good people. Now it's Amalia's turn to snort, patient aggravation vibrant in her flinty eyes. "You keep using that as an excuse to hate yourself. It's starting to sound stale." Silently, more gently, the girl adds: What about Peter, or Edrei? Zariah's children? Should then be condemned for their names, too?
Watching as Loren picks up the remnants of her basket, Amalia bites her lip a moment, letting the silence stretch. "You know... Maybe there's no such thing as good and bad people. Just people who do things for good or bad reasons."
then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
Shrugging, not at all bothered by Amalia’s gentle teasing, Loren continued weaving her basket. ”I never said it was a good excuse, or that I was particularly introspective.” As she shifted to using telepathy, however, he glanced over at her. His eyes studied her features for a long and silent moment. No, of course not. But they're only Launceleyns in name, at least for now. His thoughts grew sad as he considered Peter, Beatrix, and Jace, all wrapped in Zariah's web.
It was almost a relief when the baker turned the conversation to philosophy. The summoner found himself biting his lip. "It's not all about intentions. Outcomes have to matter too." There was a great deal of guilt in that reply, since he'd almost always had the best of intentions.
I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
& I knew that somehow I could find my way back
He is so quick to shoot down all her good intentions, and honestly Amalia cannot blame him. In the end she feels much the same: her well-laid plans and hopes and dreams have resulted in little real good. The Tulmhainar, Safrin, the collapse of the Spire and now the Temple... what was the point in trying so hard, if the outcome was always the same?
And yet. And yet.
Sighing her agreement with the sentiment of guilt, Amalia rolls her shoulders to loosen them before reaching out for her nearly-finished basket. Jerking her chin toward the items at the foot of her bed, she smiles thinly. "Well, would you at least be willing to fill my shield and pendant with healing magic? So I can be ready for the next disaster."
then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
02-04-2020, 10:00 PM (This post was last modified: 02-04-2020, 10:53 PM by Shark.)
there's light at the edge of the darkness
Not getting everything from Amalia, but getting enough, Loren gave her an apologetic smile. However, it didn't reach his eyes. At her question, he nodded, though he didn't move from his seat just yet. Instead, he kept on with his careful work with her basket it, finishing it with his magic.
Only then did he push off from his chair. Padding silently down to the foot of her bed, he laid one hand on her shield and the other on the amulet. Both hands glowed sky blue for a moment before getting sucked into the magical objects, his healing magic draining out of him at an almost alarming rate.
Lifting his hands, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Let's hope we're preparing for a disaster that will never come." However, his words were entirely devoid of hope.
