From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
Resting her back against the rough planks of the wall, her pale eyes followed the spinning dagger from its dance on his fingers - had he always had that metal hand? She couldn't recall if it'd been there last time she saw him - to the pile where it had originated.
"Hm. So what are you committing to instead? Now that official bossing around of people is not an option?" There was a hint of a smile to the words, a ghost of the easy conversation they'd once held. And it broadened into a slightly bitter smile as he continued, turning towards her in earnest.
"What do you think I've been doing here?" She spread her arms, indicating the cleanup, the cleanse all around them. Aside from the pile before them and the one outside, there was hardly anything left in the vast space. Only dustmoats floating in the light, and unswept floor. A broken wagon wheel leaning against the far wall, too large for her to comfortably move on her own. "The sensible thing would be to try and repair the house and get the business up and running again. Find a man to marry, squeeze out some kids and ensure the survival of my family name."
It would be the traditional thing, too. The one expected of her, by all the traditionalists who lived in the farms around the Fields. The Valair's had held out for near three hundred years; now they might be proven right, all those slandering tongues who'd claimed the weak, sickly daughter of the household would bring them to ruin.
"Instead I'm selling. Leaving for something new. So... you tell me, am I changing? Perhaps it's just not fast enough to catch up with you all. I'm a year behind, after all..." Her tone was mild, but one could sense the pressure she felt. The pain, the rush, the desperate need to keep moving so that she would not indeed get stuck.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun picked up the longbow and considered it briefly before setting it down and grabbing a pair of pliers instead. Squeezing them briefly to test their condition, he turned to face Maea. "Wasn't aware I needed to commit to anything." Setting the pliers down as well, he studied the items again.
However he turned back to study her instead as she spoke. Nodding in understanding, he slipped his hands into his pockets. "Sensible for who?" The question came out quietly. "And I've only been here for half a year. If you ask me, though, seems like you're making the best choice for you, and that's what matters." He shrugged, and bent down to pick up a hammer. "Then again, what do I know?"
He seemed fidgety to her. Unable to stand still, hands constantly roving from one trinket to the next. And the face was constantly shifting. Eyes winking, smiles forming and fading, voice changing timbre, tone, volume; it was so hard to keep up. Was he feeling any of it, or was it just a mask? Like the one she usually wore; smiling, unperturbed, reserved but polite. Maea found she couldn't read this man, couldn't predict what he would do from one moment to the next.
"You don't," she replied with a shrug. "It's just what I'm used to. Someone's always supposed to have a task. If not, they don't have a purpose, and become a burden. It's more sensible to keep to what has been... so that won't happen. For the community. For the Hollowed Grounds. For the future.
"If you've only been here half a year then you never saw the barrier. You wouldn't know what it was like to live here before... I don't expect you to understand."
What did he know, indeed. Could he tell how deeply she was rooted to this place, and how much it hurt to pull them out? Doubtful. And she did not expect him to care about it either.
"Can I get you anything? There's no food, but something to drink perhaps?" Thirst burned in her own throat, and though she knew Rexanna had said the ascended did not eat or drink, she could not fathom it.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun turned to face Maea. For a brief moment, his eyes looked old, far older than his physical appearance could possibly suggest. ”I don’t eat, I don’t drink, I don’t sleep, I don’t need clothes. I don't even need to avoid the sun anymore. My one necessity I can acquire for free. I will never be a burden.”
His tone was low. "However, don't ever think I don't know what it's like to come together when times get tough and the storm is upon us." His eyes narrowed. "In fact, you're the one who tried to sow division when we first met." Turning, he walked over to the glass bowl and regarded it, bringing it up so it caught the sun.
Without looking at her, he shrugged. "Like I said, I don't drink." His voice had faded back to its almost monotone.
And there it was. Just like that, in that one ageless, ancient glance, he embodied everything Maea feared. The absolute separation from everything that was natural and transient, the cold lack of need of anything and anyone. It's what she'd heard stories about, what came to her in her nightmares... what she feared to become, should she stray too far from the grace of her gods.
"I never tried to do any such thing" she countered, lips gone pale and numb. He'd said he wouldn't snap at her, yet here it was. The dissention, the root of the tension that had laced this encounter from the first moment.
"I never meant to, nor do I want it to stay that way. But I can't help it, you still scare me. Even if you've done nothing to cause it, even if it's not fair. Maybe it's because I just don't know you, I can't say. You're just too different, and I don't know how to deal with it. It's like coming face to face with a snake, or a wolf. In my head I know it's not rational, but my hands still shake."
And they did indeed, though she tried to hide it by wrapping them in the shawl. Was this how the Old Gods thought of the Abandoned? Why they stayed away from her kind, and preferred not to deal with them? It was an attitude that had rankled all her life, yet here she was treating someone else the same way.
The irony of it was not lost on her.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
The agelessness bled away, leaving simply Amun again. ”What do you think fear does? It drives people apart, drives them to extremes. That's division." His voice was quiet, without any hint of animosity.
As Maea continued speaking, however, the potter slipped his hands into his pockets. "Your fear is not my fault or my problem." Taking a few steps away from her, he looked off into the distance. "We're not animals. And treating us as such just makes you the monster you're afraid of." Again, his words were soft, but this time they were more than a little hurt. "But even with animals, they're only dangerous if you don't know how to deal with them."
She didn't answer for a long time. Didn't know what to say. He was right, of course, and she hated to admit it. But what could she do? How did you overcome fear? No matter how much she studied spiders she would never cease to be creeped out by them. And even if she did learn everything there was about snakes, she might still be wary of their bite.
"No, we're not animals. But are you still human? I barely know how to deal with them, let alone..." She broke off, not knowing what to call him. Maea could see the hurt in him, heard it, and shame cloyed thick on her tongue for proving herself the ignorant fool she so desperately wanted to change from. "But you're right. It's not your concern. I'm sorry for being so rude. You do not deserve that."
Stealing a quick glance at him, she pushed herself away from the barn door and made to head out to the fire again. This was doing nothing to improve her day, and if her distancing herself would cause him less pain then... it was the least she could do.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
01-17-2020, 12:58 PM (This post was last modified: 01-17-2020, 12:58 PM by Amun.)
my love affair with water runs deep into my soul,
the serenity as intense as the tides ebb and flow
As Maea walked away, Amun rolled his eyes. Grabbing the glass bowl in his left hand, he followed her outside. ”Of course I’m still human. Just as you’re still human even though you have magic, or the Attuned are still human even though they literally turn into animals.” Coming to a stop, he studied her. "I know one thing. You're never going to get over your fear if you walk away from what makes you scared, or from a difficult conversation." He'd revived, somewhat, from the stupor he'd been in during the rest of their conversation.
He spread his arms. "So come on. Ask me whatever burning questions you might have." Tilting his head at the fire, his eyes sparkled with the slightest amount of mischief at the pun. "In exchange, though, since you're a devotee of the old gods, I'm going to ask you to make an offering to Safrin because she certainly has no love for me." He shook the bowl in his hands. "This one will bring joy to any who visit her shrine. And to the goddess, hopefully."
He came after her. Breathing in deeply, Maea turned to face him and listened as he went off. He offered her answers, a way to work things out, and on any normal day she would have leapt at the chance. But today was the day that she burned the items her family had gathered, created and maintained. It was the day where she picked apart the corpse of an old life and buried it, so that something new might be born from the ashes tomorrow.
To be perfectly honest, she was not in the mood for this game.
Biting her teeth together, she looked between the bowl in his hand to the pyre. An offering? She might as well throw the pretty glass trinket into the flames, for all the good it would do her to present it to Safrin. "You think an Abandoned will be more in favor with the Lady than the Ascended? The difference is unfortunately not as great as many would like to believe...
"But fine. I'll help you. Can't say I don't know what to ask though... She shrugged. "Don't even know where to begin."
Moving for the well, situated some distance from both the main buildings, the pyre and the man, Maea hauled up the bucket and drank deeply. It gave her some time to think, to coax her mind from the sluggish ooze of emotion and present some kind of curiosity. Had she ever wanted to know anything about spiders? No. But not too long ago she'd been seated with Rexanna, asking questions about the ascended. The Queen had been quite forthcoming, but Maea was too polite to ask sensitive questions then. With Amun, she had no such consideration.
He was the one who offered this.
"Did you choose to Ascend?" she asked, pitching her voice to carry to him over the distance. "What sustains you if you neither eat, drink or sleep? Blood, some say, but is that true?"
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun shrugged. ”I think an Abandoned that’s beloved of at least one of the old gods is much more welcome than an Ascended that's reviled by all of them." Holding out the bowl, the regarded her carefully. "Look, just leave this on the altar, say a prayer and a compliment, and call it a day. It's not like this legend will actually prevent LongNight."
They moved towards the well, and the potter waited as Maea drank deeply. Then the questions began. "When I was brought here, I came in as an Ascended." He crossed his arms. "Mostly we're sustained by fluid provided by The Voice. Blood works in a pinch, but it's an imperfect substitute, and most of us would prefer to drink from the goddess."
She gave him a slightly puzzled look. Beloved? She? He must be thinking of someone else. Maea hardly thought a few chance meetings would make anyone favored by anything, let alone loved. But she relented all the same, nodding with a shrug that suggested she could do as he wished. At least once her work on the farm was done for the day and the pyre had burned down.
Then came answers to her questions, and she listened carefully even as she drank, and filled her cupped hands with water to clean off her face as best she could.
"So you never had a choice in being Ascended? Doesn't that... irk you? Seems like a terrible thing to do to someone. The attuned have a choice, it's never done for them." Her own kind was different of course, the magic was not something they got to decide for themselves. Either people had the spark or they did not... and she couldn't say there had never been times when she did not resent the universe and its creator for forcing it on her.
"So... you don't like doing it? You'd never forcefully take blood from anyone?" Rex had said as much, but she wanted to hear it from Amun too. She knew what fluid he meant, remembered seeing it spill from the decapitated ascended, shimmer on her own hands as she reached for his sword, the air filled with a stench of petrichor... Maea pushed the memory aside, shuddering.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Amun crossed his arms. "Those who are brought here as Attuned have no choice. Have you asked them how they feel about it? In fact, none of the Outlanders had a choice in coming here." Tilting his head, he regarded her cooly. "How do you feel about being Abandoned, which wasn't your choice either." His words weren't accusatory, simply questioning.
Finally, he shook his head. "It doesn't irk me, no. I've been through enough lives at this point to have learned simply to make the most of the one I'm currently living." He shrugged, not caring if she liked the answer or not.
"No. Only with their consent." Then, however, he hesitated. "Well. Maybe in situations of self-defense or defense of another."
It was a pointed question and one that made her frown, considering. On one hand, he was right. But she'd never encountered someone who'd attuned on arrival, at least not that she knew of - or had Jigano..? But, on the other hand, it was not the Old Gods who had brought the Outlanders here.
"The Voice is the reason you are here at all. She was the one who brought everyone not born on Caido, and none were given a choice there. As for me... I would trade my magic away in an instant, but I cannot. None of the gods can remove the spark from a soul, and neither did they put it there. No one knows why only the Abandoned have magic."
And as for the title itself... it was due to ancient ancestors who abused their talents and drew the wrath of the Old Gods upon themselves. Another cause for impotent rage, but also something she was working to change. One day at a time.
Nodding simple assent to the matter of accepting his situation, Maea pushed on, frowning at the idea that he would ever do something to another person. But she could not argue; the amendment was acceptable, if he considered it as a weapon and nothing else. She would not hesitate to pull a knife on someone if her life depended on it... though she'd never use it for fun either. So there was that.
"Then.. if you don't need to eat, drink or sleep, what motivates you to stay alive? Is there a point, without those things to keep you moving?" To her the basic needs seemed so vital, had been all-consuming that she couldn't imagine what it was like to not need them.
lay your hands on me
one last time
MAEA
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
01-19-2020, 03:38 PM (This post was last modified: 01-19-2020, 03:39 PM by Amun.)
my love affair with water runs deep into my soul,
the serenity as intense as the tides ebb and flow
Amun smirked, though it was weak and faded quickly. ”You didn’t answer my question.” Spreading his hands in a helpless gesture, he gave her an almost blank look. ”Would you be so indigent if it had been the old gods that brought the Outlanders?” Finally he shrugged. "Why waste time worrying about things we cannot change, then? Isn't it best to make the most of what we are given?" The potter's voice was as reasonable as he could make it.
Crossing his arms, he regarded her carefully, eyes veiled. Finally he sighed, and gestured at the pyre. "What's the point of this conversation? What's the point of you cleaning up around here? Neither is strictly necessary for survival." He crossed his arms again. "Dying is never fun. I still have that survival instinct, at least. And I create. I explore. I live."
