To hoist your own petard
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#1



The Voice had repaired his face and so Sam knew he'd have to go home eventually, even though the day felt horribly unfinished and shattered. No resolution to his fight with Remi, no happy ending, no continued exploration in Torchline for the time being. Just going back home, probably to lay in bed and torment himself about things he should have said into oblivion once again.

Great.

Sam was beginning to find he actually had something rather angry and bitter inside him, when enough happened for him to access it. Before he actually arrived home he went to the Atheneum and wrote out a Notice about the Voice's portals, deciding to use his grumpy energy to gather the courage to post it. As he did, he almost felt like adding 'and honestly you should all say thank you to us' on the end, but just about resisted. Time to walk back to the Domiciles.

Mia squeaked around his feet but he ignored her, pulling himself together enough to make a cup of tea before sitting on the couch and staring ahead at the wall, blinking back tears borne of both anger and sorrow. It seemed no matter what, everything was determined to be difficult. Curling up, he hoped Nate might come back soon, so he could at least find some comfort at the end of the day.
Samuel
I want you so badly
But you could be anyone
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
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Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#2
when you're all alone and you think of home
places you may have been and who you know
Outside of the moment, the heat of teeth and and lips and hands, shame washed over Nate in waves, a relentless tide that threatened to bowl him over with every step he took towards home. Sams home. Fuck.

At least he would have some time to figure out what to say, how to break it to the other man, so soon after they’d decided to be more serious. He had said he was trouble, after all. He had warned Sam. He just... hadn’t expected the warning to come true quite so soon. Nate hesitated at the door, taking a deep breath before entering the house, eyes closed, so he could try to regain some sense of decorum, some sense of normality.

He expected to hear Mia, weaving her way around his feet when he stepped in, meowing softly and greeting him, like she always did when it was just the two of them, but she never came. He opened his eyes then, quietly confused, and then quietly horrified as he gazed upon Sam. Sitting on the couch. Looking absolutely shattered. Had he already heard, already found out somehow? And... what was he doing back so soon anyway?

Nate cleared his throat, and ran a hand down his front, trying desperately to make himself look less rumpled, less fucked. ”Sam.” He said, too bright, too obviously guilty in his own ears. ”Why are you back so soon?”
awaiting the hand of god knowing i stand to fall
i stared into the pitch black to no hand at all
NATE
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
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Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#3



Sam didn't know how much time had passed when he heard the door open, but it had been long enough that his tea was cold in the cup still clutched in his hands and the tears on his face had dried for the time being, odd oily sheen of fluid clinging to his cheeks. The sound broke him out of a near-trance and he looked over with a hopeful smile, almost bursting into more tears at the sight of Nate.

Oh, what a relief. It was so good to have someone to be with at home, that you could trust.

He supposed it was natural Nate was surprised he was back so soon, but he didn't feel like explaining right away. "It's been a horrible day, Nathaniel. Come here?" Sam opened his arms towards his partner, then frowned as he actually got a good look at him. His clothes and hair were all over the place and his face was covered in a painfully guilty expression, though for the moment Sam merely read it as discomfort. "Are you alright...?"
Samuel
I want you so badly
But you could be anyone
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#4
when you're all alone and you think of home
places you may have been and who you know
The clear relief on Sams face when he saw him was just another nail in the tangled mess of guilt coiling in Nate’s chest, a nail he felt slide into him with no resistance at all. Arms opened, called him close, and he went to them, each step feeling hollow, feeling final. Feeling like he was creeping closer to the gallows, and the only mystery left was when the door would open under him.

Nate couldn’t bring himself to sink into Sams arms, couldn’t bring himself to pull the other man close against his chest, when he had to smell like sweat and shame and someone else entirely. ”I’m sorry.” He murmured, voice distant, eyes focused on a point near Sams chin, unable to look into those green blue eyes. It was an apology for things Sam didn’t know yet, and not near good enough for those things.

”I uh... I’m not hurt. But...” Nate trailed off, took a deep breath through his nose as his mind worked overtime, trying to find the gentlest way to do this. He was not gentle. He was brusque, prone to flowery words and flattery when they suited him, but this was not a situation that suited anyone. ”We need to talk. I... need to tell you something. I...” He finally lifted his gaze to meet Sams, shame and regret burning in his eyes. ”I fucked up.”
awaiting the hand of god knowing i stand to fall
i stared into the pitch black to no hand at all
NATE
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#5



Nate walked closer but didn't take the last movement to move into Sam's arms; awkwardly he lowered them, confusion clear on his face that only continued as Nate apologised. Immediately Sam felt a heavy dread, sitting up a little as he waited to hear what it was; he had a feeling it was going to be even more bad news and his main thought was 'please, not today'.

Sighing, too tired to cry right away over this too, he pressed his face into his hand and asked, flatly: "How?"

He was actually rather sure he knew. It wasn't hard to guess, after their conversation a few days ago and Nate's appearance.
Samuel
I want you so badly
But you could be anyone
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#6
when you're all alone and you think of home
places you may have been and who you know
A part of Nate broke when he saw the pieces being put together in Sams head, the dread giving way to a quiet despair as he put his face in his hands, the single question muffled but emotionless.

And to be honest, Nate really didn’t have a satisfying answer for how. Because the other man been there, available, because he had begged, had pulled Nate back and he wasn’t a good enough person to say no. He hadn’t really wanted to say no.

”Things just... got away from me. I... didn’t expect it to be so... affecting, for me or... the other person.” He was careful to keep his voice calm, not letting it tremble or break, not betraying a lick of emotion whatsoever.
awaiting the hand of god knowing i stand to fall
i stared into the pitch black to no hand at all
NATE
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#7



All Sam could really do in response to Nate's hilariously bad justification was laugh, the sound coming out strangled and bitter as he shook his head, hair falling over his face. Was the world just trying to play one big joke on him? He thought he might be starting to see the funny side - there was only so much tragedy one could take before it became comedy.

He considered for a moment asking the name of who Nate had betrayed him for, but the question wouldn't come out. Knowing would make it too difficult, he thought. Too real. At least if he didn't know details, he could try and stop his mind from imagining it all too much.

Really, he had nothing more to say to Nate at all. Once he'd have rambled, cried, maybe reacted the way he had a couple of Longnights ago (not that he remembered that) - now he just raised his head from his hands and looked Nate in the eyes, face wet with tears and hair a mess, clothes covered in sand and fluid from his earlier fight. "...Get out of my home, Nathaniel. Please don't come back."
Samuel
I want you so badly
But you could be anyone
Nate Wrenzaok
the Lone (Free) Ranger
"Doctor" / Guildmaster

Age: 37 | Height: 6'1" | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 55 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 50 - Luck: 46 - Int: 1
PEMOTA - Mythical - Starwhale (narwhal) RAMOTH - Mythical - Dragon (Biopulse)
Played by: Johnnie Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,792 | Total: 4,183
MP: 0
#8
when you're all alone and you think of home
places you may have been and who you know
As far as break ups tended to go, this was blissfully mild especially considering what Sunjata was going through but it shredded something in his chest. Maybe it was the fact that they had just said they were going to try to be more serious, maybe it was the fact that he’d thought he’d have more time before this. Maybe it was something else entirely, something he wasn’t willing to put more thought to right now, just to save himself the pain. Maybe it would have felt better if Sam had cried, if he Obviously wasn’t still dealing with some other kind of hell.

Whatever it is, it keeps him silent as he turns away, only hesitating a moment before he stands, and made his way back out of the house that had become home, but that was now just a house again. Nate pauses at the threshold, turning like he might say something, offer some apology, some consolation, ’ this wasn’t because if you, I never even thought about you.’ but nothing actually came out. He just stepped back into the warm night, shoulders slumped in defeat.
awaiting the hand of god knowing i stand to fall
i stared into the pitch black to no hand at all
NATE
Samuel Wordsworth
Book maker/seller

Age: 34 | Height: 5' 5" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 10 - Strg: 28 - Dext: 25 - Endr: 27 - Luck: 25 - Int: 1
MIA - Regular - Ragdoll Cat
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,135 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#9



Well, that was it then. No more was said.

Sam watched mutely as Nate stood, Mia coming to sit in his lap as she sensed her owners oncoming flood of further despair. He kept his face still until Nate looked back just once at the door, and to stop himself sobbing he said one simple word, hissed out: "Go."
Samuel
I want you so badly
But you could be anyone


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