Let's Try This Again

Sam nodded, trying to shrug, but he wasn't yet at the point where he could entirely dismiss his relationship with Nate - in time. "Some people aren't hard on themselves at all." He leaned forward, as if letting Jigano in on a strange secret. "I envy their confidence - to be able to be so happy with everything you've done...it must be so nice. To be sure you're right, all the time." Sam sighed, wondering if Wessex, Zariah, Deimos, all the strong and confident presences around them, ever had the same anxious hours as he did in the dead of the night. "Well, I suppose what happened at Fiat Lux might have kept her preoccupied..." He said quickly, in defense of his close friend, though admittedly Sam too had wondered when Rexanna was going to gather the council. He was about to give his approval of Jigano's suggestion idea when the man suddenly let slip about the notice board messages; Sam's eyes widened, though he relaxed a slight amount when it appeared Jigano was not too mad. "..I...think that would be a very good idea, as long as those..ahem...'editorial' notes still get read by someone." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

The bard smiled ruefully at Sam's tidbit of gossip, wondering if it was really true. "Some people just learn to hide their insecurities better," he mused, arching a brow at his friend. "I've been told that I come across as too confident, after all, but..." he shrugged. "I learned to hide my uncertainties a long time ago, to survive. I just save my breakdowns for times when I won't have an audience to see the man behind the Provost." His smile was crooked as he remembered how well things went when he allowed someone else to see him in his weakness. Of the handful of times it had happened on Caido, Adam was the only one who it hadn't gone terribly with, oddly enough.

"That is true enough," Jigano agreed with a wince. "It's kept us all busy." It had been a difficult few weeks in the aftermath of that, and he didn't begrudge anyone taking the time they needed to recover some semblance of normalcy in the wake of all that death. Still... "I would have expected us to do something, though... something that this government of ours could have helped with," he said softly. "If only for cleaning up the aftermath." They would need to start working on contingency plans for future disasters, perhaps.

He watched his friend's reaction, and chuckled a little when Sam relaxed. "Careful," he cautioned. "You've already got enough on your plate without picking more fights with followers of the Old Gods. Though I think most people have been just passing them by as unsubtle propaganda, between you and Bastien," he added with a wry smile, having heard about the Artist Guild's leader and his painting stunt, before Ronin had ended that rather decisively, albeit unintentionally.

"You do seem quite sure of your beliefs." Sam commented with a fond smile, not really trying to criticise the bard; sometimes it could indeed be an annoying habit but he found that in the moment, he was more willing to be forgiving of his friend's flaws. Admittedly Sam had not assisted greatly in recuperation after Fiat Lux (and therefore could not really be too angry at Rexanna for failing to organise anything for the council), but he nodded along to Jigano's words anyway, agreeing with the sentiment. "Perhaps someone should ask her if we could have weekly meetings. Something like that, so we knew what to be doing - And I suppose to vote on her remaining Queen as well. What...would you vote?" He asked, unable to contain his curiosity. He made a face at being put in the same box as Bastien. "At least I didn't just put up a painting with no words and gleefully wait around for someone to see it." Sam commented, seeming rather unimpressed with that idea entirely. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

"A polite way of saying 'a stubborn, opinionated mule'," he said with a lopsided grin. "Thank you for your tact. Though..." His grin faded and a flicker of more morose thoughts subtly shifted his expression. "I am beginning to do more harm than good, I think. Something needs to change, and soon..."

Sam's suggestion was met with an agreeing nod, a return of wry humor as the bard shrugged. "Or at least meet once a month, or even once a season, even if we can't all meet every week." The question on voting gave him pause, however, and he tilted his head as he gave it due thought. "I wish we had someone who wasn't so clearly on one side of the gods or the other," he said at last with a small sigh. "A mage or Accepted who could be as neutral as it's possible to be in this. But as it is... everyone on the council has a preferred patron among the gods, either old or new. Rex has worked hard so far to try and keep religion out of it, though, and as long as that continues I'll support her," he decided after talking through his thoughts on the matter.

Sam's disapproval of the hedonistic painter earned a chuckle. "That's a very good point. I hear it was rather gaudy anyways," he added with a rueful shrug.

"Well, not quite all that." Sam laughed, amused that Jigano had apparently just had those words to describe himself ready to go. Though the sudden hint of actual sadness made him tilt his head and lean forward, confused. "What do you mean? Has something happened?" Sam understood what Jigano meant about wanting a ruler not aligned with any deity, even if he did wonder if this would be brought up if the leader were a follower of the Old Gods. "Rexanna is level headed...I think it would be very hard to find anyone completely neutral. I think she'll try to keep things as fair as she can, anyway - she hasn't allowed any Ascended in the Greatwoods still." (A rule he would break secretly not far in the future, but that was hardly the Queen's fault). Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Sam's support brought a smile to Jigano's face, though it was rueful and more than a little weary as he tilted his head to the side, then nodded slowly. "Yes... well. A few things. But one in particular." He sighed, looking away. "Have you heard that Zariah is a member of the government in Halo, and that she's putting together a school for training mages?" he asked first.

Hearing Sam stick up for Rex was no surprise, but in this they were in accord, both counting the Outlander Queen a friend. Jigano nodded, though his lips quirked wryly. "And yet Wessex was still there," he pointed out, remembering the arrow that had taken her in the chest while they'd been trying to calm the fiery luxere. "What she 'allows' and what she actually enforces or punishes are, it seems, two different things. If she's seen going easy on Ascended for breaking the laws, it won't help the government look more legitimate." He grimaced, reaching up to push his hair back, even if the long tresses just slid forward again a moment later. "Though the Fae are capable of enforcing their own laws, I think. They shot Wessex, after all, and she did her vanishing trick afterwards and didn't come back."

Sam did not expect Jigano to bring up Halo and it took him a moment to think on it, what he'd known and learnt in his time exploring. "Well. I knew Zariah had a position in Halo, but this is the first I've heard of a school...are you worried she might be training them to...hurt people somehow?" Given how ruthlessly she'd attempted to control the Ground, Sam didn't put it past her, but he wanted to believe he was only being paranoid. "She...was?" Sam asked, clearly genuinely surprised upon hearing that Wessex had been in the Greatwood, frowning at the news. "Does Rexanna know that? I didn't...she shouldn't be going in there. It makes us look bad." Or at least, though he wouldn't say this to Jigano, Wessex should not have allowed herself to get seen in the Greatwood, especially not if it led to her being shot. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Sam's guess was on the nose, and Jigano nodded grimly. "Maybe not at first. But... given her history here, and what Edrei and Loren have said about the Launceleyns as a whole on their world... yes, it's something I'm worried about her building towards." He exhaled a tense breath, turning his eyes up to look at Sam searchingly. "You were here. You know how she tried to hunt me, threatening the Guild and then Amalia when I wouldn't turn myself in, yes?" Was he just being irrationally paranoid? Sunjata and Loren had certainly seemed to think so, but they hadn't been there, and they hadn't been personally affected by the Tyrant queen's decrees like he and Sam and Amalia had.

His other favorite ex-Queen was, of course, Wessex, and he nodded again at Sam's surprise. "Bold as brass, and as drawn by the fire as the rest of us to the Mathair, I'm guessing. We didn't exactly stop to chat." He gave his friend a wry smile. "But she was there... right where she'd been when the Fae were killed last time. I don't know if Rexanna knows or not though," he admitted with a slight frown. "Actually... I haven't seen her since the council was formed. Have you?"

"Mmm..." Sam chewed on his lip as he thought it over, wondering if he really knew enough about Zariah to make any kind of judgement. He'd left the second she became Queen and had returned at the very end of her reign, had not seen her since. Still, he could understood Jigano's fears and nodded to show he did. "I see that it could be possible. But...in Halo, she isn't ruling, is she? She probably has to follow orders and I...don't think Halo has any reason to attack us, not yet. ...I don't know how it is in the Citadel itself." While he knew he likely wouldn't have the bravery to do it when the chance came, Sam thought he might try to talk to Wessex about her presence in the Greatwood next time he saw her. "I have. I went to see her, after Nate...well, after all of that. She was wonderful, actually." He smiled, sipped his tea and thought about how she had gently held him, comforted him. If she appeared before them, he knew she'd make a fantastic leader. Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Sam's noncommittal response wasn't exactly what Jigano was expecting. He knew that Sam, like him, had disappeared from public view when Zariah began handing out ultimatums over her draft. Unlike Sam he'd garnered a great deal more personal attention from the mad Tyrant, though, and the bookmaker's ambivalence brought a breath of disquiet to the Provost's chest. "She isn't Queen, no, but she appears to be Neron's right-hand minister, second in power only to him." Neron didn't seem interested in attacking, either, but he hardly knew the Warden well enough to be able to read him that completely... and Loren had warned him about his twin's facility at lying. "Sam... what would you have done, if she had succeeded in closing down this Guild?" he asked quietly instead.

He was a little surprised to hear that Sam had seen the elusive new Queen, and even more to see his friend smiling so happily even after saying Nate's name and referencing the breakup. It was disconcertingly jarring, given the bookmaker's previous reaction to the subject, and Jigano studied the other man thoughtfully, sipping his own tea for a moment. "I'm glad to hear it," he finally murmured, unsure in the end what to make of the change. "Do you think you'll have to see much of him, after this? It seems like it could make things... awkward," he winced in sympathy.

Sam realised, as Jigano asked his question, that his hesitation to make a judgement had appeared as indifference; he shook his head and reached forward to briefly touch Jigano's hand, to try and make it clear what he said was earnest: "This guild, you, are very important to me. If Zariah...had...or ever did...take it, I would try my best to help. Of course. You could ask me for anything." While he wasn't entirely sure of what he'd be able to do (at least without The Voice's help, which he was sure Jigano wouldn't be thrilled about), Sam really was willing to defend the Guild against Zariah, should she ever threaten it. For the moment though, while she was in Halo...he drew back. "I suppose I could ask Loren, while he's in Halo, to try and see what her plans are? He could send us some letters." While the Launceleyn might have had a motive to lie given his relation to Zariah, Sam hoped his loyalties to the Guild might be stronger. While what had happened with Nate was very difficult for him, Rexanna's comfort and friendship was something very precious and Sam was able to separate the two...though as Jigano asked his question, he frowned, the same harsh anger clouding his face again. "I'm sure it will be. I can hardly ask him to leave the family, but...oh, I don't know. Maybe one day we'll be able to be civil. For the moment I think I'll just be ignoring him, as best I can." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Jigano smiled gratefully at his friend, for he appreciated the words. But when Zariah had threatened the Guild - and Jigano, personally - Sam had been nowhere to be found. Actions spoke louder than words, but at least the sentiment was nobly meant. "Thanks, Sam," he said softly. "That means a lot to me. Now that she's no longer Queen I don't think she can do it anymore, but since she tried to once... well, it's not something I've forgotten." His voice and expression shifted to a grimmer set. "And I don't want this Guild associated with her or her magic academy in any way. Not after how she came after us before."

He nodded at Sam's suggestion, worried at the mention of Loren and Sam's earlier warning that the summoner had left the Guild. "Yes, we could do that, too but... not yet," he cautioned softly because timey wimey set in the past "Let's give him time to grieve more, first. When he's ready to work with us again, he'll let us know. I don't want to pressure or rush him right now, though, not with Abasi's death still so fresh."

The bookmaker's anger was as understandable as the bard's own towards Zariah, and he bowed his head in acknowledgment and agreement. "That's all you can do, I'd think," he agreed quietly. "Don't let him cause you more grief than he already has, Sam. You deserve some measure of happiness, and a lover who will treasure you rather than make you cry."

Sam had run away from everything, not just the guild, during the time of Zariah's reign; honestly, he didn't know if he could say he regretted it. The only thing he did regret about the time was the spread of the Blight, which he hadn't been aware of at the time. Running away from Zariah had been a smart move, he'd thought, at least for himself. "..So..if you don't want it to be associated...and Loren is Zariah's family and is now working in the Citadel too...are you saying you don't want Loren to be in the Guild?" Sam asked, tilting his head, unsure if Jigano was trying to imply something. Then again, if he was going to help them... "I suppose it depends if he's going to want to work with her or us...do you know how close he is to Zariah?" Sam knew little of the Launceleyn family relations, which was probably relevant information in this decision. He smiled as Jigano told him he deserved someone that treasured him, happily and quietly affirming: "Once, I would have disagreed. But...yes, I do. I'm...not sure I'll ever find him, but I won't settle for someone that hurts me." Samuel He took a step but then felt tired He said, I'll rest a little while But when he tried to walk again He wasn't a child

Jigano smiled wryly at Sam, giving a slight shake of his head. "He kept the name out of stubbornness and pride, but Zariah disowned him. They're not family anymore, and I'm not sure how much they really were before. I... didn't realize he was going to be working in the Citadel," he admitted, faltering for a moment at how little Loren had told him when he thought they were friends. "But... working in the Citadel for his brother isn't the same as working for Zariah, or supporting her academy. Until he tells me otherwise he's still a Loreseeker, and I'm glad to have him with us." Indeed, Loren and Zariah were only slightly closer than Jigano and Zariah from what the bard understood of their interactions - and most of that closeness had more to do with geography than anything else.

He was glad to hear that Sam had finally found a place in life where he believed he had worth. It had been a long road with a lot of bumps along the way, but Jigano smiled warmly, reaching over to tentatively pat his friend's hand with the awkwardness of someone still not used to physical gestures - but who was trying to be. "I'm very glad to hear that, Sam. I hope you'll let me meet him when you do."