Bring me that Horizon

Maea Big dreamers shoot for open skies "I am," she admitted, with a rueful smile thrown his way. "That's why I'm saying it doesn't get you anywhere." Even Ludo had called her out on it, for overthinking a simple question (it had not been that simple, but whatever). Leaning down to pick up a few more shells, Maea turned them between her fingers and considered the question. "I... would leap on that kind of offer, to be honest," she replied. The grin on her lips faded, lingering only as a ghost of its former self. "It's all I've ever wanted... To even be considered worthy of the attention. "Do you realize what kind of faith Ludo must have in you, to suggest it? To be able to fill a purpose, you must possess qualities that let you do so. Clearly there is something you're capable of doing, that could be useful." Though she tried to keep her tone even, there was no mistaking the jealousy. What she wouldn't do... But perhaps she should be careful about what she wished for. Her eyes flitted to the scars on his chest, neck.

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

To this, the alchemist merely grumbled. "I think it's a game." He said with a doubtful frown. "Luring me to my death, taking my memories, punishing me for the crimes of someone else...This is just another meaningless trial." Whether or not he heard the jealousy in Maea's voice was uncertain given how stoic his expression. Then again taking for granted what others would happily covet—his marriage, his magic, his shifts—was a common trait for the alchemist who tended only to see the worst in his lot in life.

"I brought it a game to play, when I went to the shrine. It threw away a piece it didn't like when I changed it." He gave Maea a rueful smile. "I think that's what I am to it. A piece. A pawn that can be tossed into the sea if it changes too much for the game being played." In short, don't wish for this.

"Why Ludo? I can understand avoiding Frey, but Safrin...she at least seems kind to those she likes."

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

A piece on a board, in a cosmic game. It did sound like a grand scheme with an inevitable plan behind it, but... Maea wasn't so sure Ludo ever thought that far ahead. "From what I've seen and what you've said, Ludo seems more like a child than a schemer," she replied. "Teasing, taunting, playing games and changing its mind, showering some in kindness while others are treated coldly. Perhaps you are a pawn... maybe we all are.

"Would you like it to be any different?"

Her expression turned a bit wry at the next question. Why Ludo, indeed. Maea picked out one of the shells in her hands and let it drift over to Remi with a thought, telekinesis holding it up for him to see and take, should he approve of it.

"She does, indeed. If she likes you. I can't say for sure of course, but so far? I don't think I'm any kind of interesting to our Lady of stars". Being Abandoned, and all that.

"And while I do still pray to her, I think... she's a bit too bright. Too good, too kind... How could I ever be worthy of such things?" Maea bit her lip. "Ludo... strike me as far more tolerant of imperfections."

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

"I'd rather not be played with, yes. I'm not old I know that, but I feel as though I've outgrown the stage of my life where I want someone else overseeing it and trying to teach me lessons by way of examples." Remi ran a hand across the back of his neck where sweat trickled from his curls. That he still had much to learn wasn't a question. That he wanted to be taught by a meddling child-god, was.

Glancing at the shell, Remi merely shook his head once.

"Agreed." The alchemist said with a nod. "She healed me once, but I think that was only to appease Ronin. She's taken with him, like everyone else."

Pausing, Remi considered this before shooting Maea a speculative look. "If it was so tolerant, why heal your sight? I can see why that would benefit you, but it doesn't strike me as the actions of one who is alright with imperfections."

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

The shell was rejected, and Maea let it settle back into the sand. "Well... what do you want then?" she asked. It was perhaps a touch personal a question, given that they hardly knew each other, but then... this conversation was deep enough as it was. What harm could it do to ask?

"Ah, well. Some people are like that. They draw others in, for good or bad. I've never actually met Ronin, only seen his face a few times... I can't say I have any opinions at all so far. Maybe Safrin knows something we don't."  

Dropping the other piece as well, Maea wiped her hands on the skirt, considering. "Well... because I asked for it? And it's not like it was given for free. I gave up something else instead, so it's not like I'm complete in any way now. Just... a matter of switching the utility of certain things."

She tapped her own lower lower abdomen in way of explanation, indicating what specific function she might have traded away. Maea looked quite serene, in no way discontent with this trade.

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

"Most days? To stop existing. I keep living for Ronin." This was said without the indication that Remi was fishing for a compliment or reassurance. His life had been capsized the day Aoife was born. The only reason to tread water now was simply so that Ronin might not have to go through it all again. That, and his desperate love for the hunter of course.

"She likely does. But Ronin.." Remi's lips twitched, a genuine smile there for a moment before it disappeared. "..he is worth knowing."

Raising a slight brow at this, Remi's eyes dropped to Maea's stomach as she indicated there. They didn't linger inappropriately, Maea being nearly as far from Remi's 'type' as one could be, he simply nodded stiffly. He didn't entirely understand, but that didn't seem to matter. "Utility uh? That sounds more like Frey."

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

It was a heavy answer, impossible to respond to immediately. What could she say? Nothing that would matter, and nothing that would change anything. Her heart did go out to the simple truth in his response, and Maea did not want to take away from it by spouting platitudes.

"I... hope you will find peace in that life, some day," was all she could offer, after a long pause. "I don't doubt that others rely on you, as you do on him... but I recognize that it's not something you have to take into consideration." Living for the sake of others only got you so far.

"As for Frey... I doubt very much that they'd approve of the trade I made," she said, with a quirk to her mouth. "Aren't they all about fertility? Or whatever you wish to call it. This is quite the opposite."

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

"They don't. Not anymore." Then, with a pause for perhaps she didn't know, Remi closed his eyes for a moment and turned them up towards the sun. He let the harsh brightness burn red circles behind his closed lids as he took a breath. "My daughter was killed during the Fiat Lux festival. Skewered through with ice. I was too." Perhaps now his scars might make more sense. The ones on his abdomen, anyway. "I've not been back to the Grounds since and don't plan to." In short, no. no one relies on me now.

Ahh. Raising his brows and nodding looking very much the part of awkward gay-man-who-missed-the-reproductive-hint, he sighed. "No that's true. I very much doubt that they'd be willing to trade eyesight for that."

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

Smiling faintly at his discomfort on the topic of her fertility, Maea simply shrugged. "It was my choice to make. I could have given up anything... It just seemed like the least limiting thing, to me." Especially since she had no desire to become a parent.

But her smile faded when Remi explained his daughter's death. Maea sighed softly, and nodded. Recalled the little bundle strapped to his chest that time they'd met in the orchard; it was the only time she ever met Aoife, but it was enough to make the loss of the girl personal. Just because she didn't want any children of her own didn't mean Maea had anything against them.

"I know," she said softly, "I heard. I'm so sorry for your loss, Remi."

That did remind her of something else though, and the girl reached into the folds of her shawl, digging about the neck for the straps that tied a curious crystal lense into place there. "I know this is a bit of an awkward segue, but I have something of yours. It was... salvaged... from your workshop, before it burned down."

Maea withdrew the item and removed it from about her neck, holding it out for Remi to reclaim if he so wished. She'd taken it, not knowing why, and felt the possession of it burn in her like a poison.

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

Remi hummed a bit at this and nodded. In a way he did understand given he had no desire to reproduce the 'standard' way.

Running a hand through his curls, Remi just swallowed in response to her offering of sympathy. He found it aggravating these days—sorrys wouldn't bring her back, didn't alleviate the gnawing grief inside—but it was the thing to do. So he simply nodded and let the conversation flow by.

Glancing across at Maea, Remi shook his head immediately, a hand raising and waving once in a gesture of no. "Keep it." He didn't even need to see what it was; Remi had no desire for anything of what he was coming to think of as his past-life.

"Burned down, mm?" He chuckled a bit at that and shrugged.

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

She knew the silence, understood the sentiment at least in part. But Maea couldn't drop the item quite as easily as Remi, and kept holding it out for a while before she realized that he meant it. He wasn't going to accept it back.

"Well... yes. Flinthoppers, most likely. I'm afraid it burned to the ground."

Frowning slightly, she lowered her hand, but kept hold of the lense. Looked down on it, saw the sun reflect in its surface and scatter rainbows across the sand.

"Can you at least tell me what it is?" she asked him.

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

Remi glanced at it, his lips curving into a salty smile for a moment before he nodded. "It sees through illusions." To demonstrate, he waved his hand. In the air before them a small ship seemed to appear, bobbing as if on the horizon. Nodding towards the lens, he seemed to indicate Maea should look through it at the ship.

"Ludo kept trying to kill me with illusions of those I knew and loved. When I found someone I had thought I lost...well, I couldn't be sure that it was actually him so I went to Safrin and asked for a way to ensure what I was seeing was real."

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too

Don't paint wonderful lies on me that wash away

Curious, she regarded the ship he created, or rather, the illusion of one. Maea wasn't used to illusions, and could have spent a great deal of time playing with this one, if he'd been in the mood to indulge her. But she was a little afraid of pushing Remi's patience, so she just raised the lense to her eye and looked through it. A sudden glow appeared about the ship, and it twisted in her vision, distorted like a heat mirage. Flickering, almost fading entirely before appearing again. Decidedly not as solid as it had appeared.

"That's very interesting," she murmured. Maea tried to flip the lense the other direction, to see if there would be a difference in how the illusion distorted. "So Safrin made this?" She glanced down at the item in her hand, a little awed at the idea.

Perhaps his talk of Ludo trying to kill him should have bothered her more... but the idea somehow didn't quite penetrate her mind. It was like hearing that the sun had turned blue; she just couldn't picture it.

i've been the prince, i've been the pauper, been the star and played the fool

Nothing would happen viewed from the other direction; nothing interesting anyways.

"She did, yes." He affirmed with a stiff nod. "I forget what she asked of me in order to make it." Remi added. It had been so long ago that the alchemist could hardly remember many of the details. All he could recall was the thrill of seeing Ianto as he had been with no indication of Ludo's power around him, and the wonder and happiness that had filled Remi with.

And now Ianto, like so many Remi had loved, was gone.

been the winner and the loser, in between them, too