help me, i'm drowning

I will fight the end

"It's okay not to know. We'll figure it out together, okay?" Ronin said softly, smiling and gazing down at Remi, his hand moving so he could move to carefully wipe away the tears on his cheeks. "Now?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow and thinking to himself. "In general? I don't know. I'll keep living, and keep loving you. You visit Ludo, ask it about this purpose it has for you... and we'll go from there," he said gently, before his expression grew a touch mischievous.

"But for right now? I want to go in that wagon with you, or out onto the beach, or into town - sober, for once - and spend the night with you however you want. I just want you right now, however you'll have me." He grinned.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

"When you say it like that, it all sounds so simple." Remi chuckled, reaching to snag one of Ronin's hands as it wiped away his tears. Pressing a kiss to the hunter's fingertips, he let his own fingers interlace through Ronin's.

Raising a brow at this—for never, not even for a split second had the alchemist ever not desired Ronin completely—a flush coloured Remi's cheeks for a moment as he chuckled under his breath and glanced towards the ocean.

"Maybe we could watch the stars for a while on the beach? See where the night goes?" Holding up his free hand that suddenly held a large flannel blanket, he grinned. "I've already got everything ready."

I will fight the end

"Don't be fooled - the things that sound simple are often more complex than they seem. It's okay though - I can safely say that I have seen your best and your worst, Remi. I can deal with whatever you throw at me." Because that, if nothing more, was the complete truth. It was what he had promised, it was what he had committed to, and it was what he would continue doing for as long as he could draw breath.

Biting his lower lip to suppress the grin that wouldn't leave his face, Ronin gave Remi's hand a gentle squeeze and nodded at his suggestion. "That sounds like a fine idea," he said, shifting to walk with the other man and keeping an arm laced about him, like he couldn't bear to let him go.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

"Fooled? Me? Never." Levity was coming easier than it had in months, and he owed it all to Ronin. A man who'd search a beach to find a ring thrown in anger, who'd waited up for him to come home, and who'd offered him only love and understanding in the wake of all his cruelty. He would have told Ronin he loved him a thousand times over instead of going to the beach, if he didn't think the hunter would do anything but roll his eyes and tell him to shut up.

"So..your conversation with Safrin.." Remi said, glancing sidelong at Ronin as their feet touched the pale sands of the beach, cool in the moonlight. "..everything at the Temple, was that reparation for tearing it down or did you want to go?"

I will fight the end

Ronin was determined not to waste even a moment of this time, barely believing they had gotten here and worried that at any moment it would be snatched away again. His step was light as they walked, the hunter turning to kiss the side of Remi's head, and the mention of Safrin for once didn't bring bitterness or guilt to his expression. He smiled softly at the sand, his bare feet sinking into it, the water glittering in the moonlight beyond.

"A little bit of both," he said to his husband. "When I saw her... she threatened me, forgave me, comforted me... It was a lot happening all at once." It was easy to admit now that they had come through the other side, but he had struggled at first, knowing Remi likely wouldn't have wanted to hear it.

"I didn't want to at first. But by the time it was done... I was glad I had gone."

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

Remi tugged in a breath at that, regarding the silent stars overhead. "When you first went...I was so angry at you for doing it. I still wanted to lay waste to everything we were, everything that reminded me of her, and ... you went off to rebuild it all." He chuckled ruefully, running his fingers from his neck through his curls to his forehead and back again.

Laying the blanket out onto the sands, Remi softly tugged Ronin down with him. "I can't say I fully understand it even now, but I don't feel quite so bitter. It still makes me feel strangely left out, but then...I wasn't there, nor do I have the relationship with Safrin that you do." Remi shrugged slightly, not needing a defense from Ronin, merely wanting to be honest.

I will fight the end

”You know, I kind of got that impression from you,” Ronin said with a lopsided smile. It was easier to be jovial about it now - easier to see it for what it was rather than what he had tried to make it out to be. ”I was angry with myself at first,” he admitted. ”I felt guilty. Like I was leaving you alone in this while I went away. It wasn’t easy...”

Allowing himself to be pulled down and onto the blanket, Ronin wrapped an arm around Remi to hold him close. ”I mean... I understand feeling left out. It’s a hard thing to put into words, the way I am with her. She put me into the sky and pulled me down again... I would be dead and gone with Mort if not for her...” Safrin had given him this time with Remi - he could be nothing but grateful to her.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

"After seeing Ludo and collecting shells on the beach...I went and got very, very drunk. A bar fight started, though I don't think I caused it. Loren was there, I think he had a hand in it." Then, anticipating the scowl or brow-raise that would bring, the alchemist sighed. "He came out to the beach after we were kicked out, lasted all of about two minutes before sulking off." Remi shrugged. He clearly hadn't followed after him, but after what had happened the last time he was alone with the Launceleyn he felt it was probably better to mention the chance encounter than not.

"Others have asked you..and asked me, but I don't know that I have.." Remi's smile grew sad, his thumb tracing the wedding band on Ronin's finger. "You aren't entirely glad to be back, are you." Not quite a question. The corners of the alchemist's lips twitched as if trying to not be upset about it. "A life that is hard and gritty and full of pain, when you might have just stayed celestial and bright."

I will fight the end

Remi had the right of it, and the mention of the Launceleyn brought a quietly pensive expression to Ronin’s face, one which hid a lot of his anger and frustration with Loren. And it was with Loren - Remi’s life, their lives, would have been vastly different were it not for the former librarian’s decisions. ”Starting bar fights and skulking along the beach? Doesn’t sound anything like him.” He smirked humourlessly. They had all changed, in their time after Northaven. They walked the world as different men now.

His husband’s remark was leading, and Ronin turned his hand that he might thread his fingers with Remi’s, almost able to guess the question before it came out. ”Not entirely,” he said, because to lie would be to play Remi for a fool. ”Imagine you had died, and someone placed you up high into bliss. You were never sick, never tired, never cold. Imagine that you could watch the rest of your loved ones from up there.”

Now a frown flickered across his face. ”It is wrong to think I didn’t feel pain up there, watching things unfold as they did. Just watching, unable to help. I might not always be entirely glad, Remi... but I don’t ever regret it.” He leaned in to kiss the alchemist’s cheek.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

Remi couldn't quite interpret this smirk and the subtle movements of his eyebrows suggested as much. The librarian of Northaven was not a man he remembered; the Loren of Caido had always been, to him at least, a rather humourless and fickle man. But it wasn't worth pressing—they weren't here to talk about Loren, after all.

The alchemist wasn't entirely sure he understood. For so long his emotions had been forced towards kindness and neutrality that the full spectrum of them was only really starting to come out now. Not glad of it, but not regretting it? Those sounded like opposite sides of a coin, not the balance Ronin was making them out to be.

Running a hand through Ronin's hair as the hunter pressed his lips to Remi's cheeks, the alchemist leaned completely back, meaning to drag the hunter at least partially on top of him. "Gods what a pair we've become." He chuckled, breathing in deeply the salty and warm smell of Ronin.

I will fight the end

Silence spoke volumes. Ronin’s smile grew warm as he was pulled over Remi, holding himself up (barely) and gazing down at his husband with a simple expression of love. ”I suppose what I am saying is that even though it hurts, it’s good for me. Being back. I prefer it, even though I remember what it feels like to be up there in the sky.” He shrugged.

Then, because Remi was infinitely more interesting than the stars, and because he felt as though he needed to convince the alchemist that he didn’t regret every second of his existence back in a more earthen realm, Ronin leant in to kiss him. Lips pressing gently against Remi’s, the hunter was entirely focused on the warmth of the body beneath him, heart beating, alive and here, and nothing else mattered.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

'..up there in the sky." Remi repeated almost dreamily, smiling adoringly up at Ronin. For all the light in the heavens, the alchemist would still pick the blue of his husband's eyes any day.

Whatever his grief had finally unlocked, whatever dam was finally down, it allowed through a sudden surge of heat and the silly love-song butterflies that the young were always going on about. Were his mind focused on anything but the salty-sweet taste of Ronin's lips, he might have taken a moment to freeze these seconds in his memory forever. Instead, he let his neck rise up off the sands, his fingers curling in Ronin's hair to bring the hunter closer so that he might deepen the kiss. His tongue no longer searched Ronin's mouth as it had done as of late, as if desperately seeking something out. His lips too no longer devoured the hunter's, but softly appreciated. That didn't mean that Remi's constantly-burning desire for Ronin had been quelled, quite the opposite. He just wasn't so recklessly desperate for it.

I will fight the end

It crashed through Ronin like a tidal wave - this warmth, this affection - seizing him and carrying him away with it. He’d admitted it to himself, deep, deep down, that his relationship with Remi had become dangerous since their arrival in Torchline, but the helplessly in love part of him refused to budge. He would wait it out, he had told himself. He would burn, as he had said to Safrin. And now?

Now it felt like every reward he had never thought would come, every ray of sunshine from the storms he had weathered. He melted into Remi’s touch, into the dance of his tongue and the heat of his hands, and a moan of appreciation thrummed through his chest and throat. The hand not busy holding himself up made a show of reminding him of the scarred and toned definition of Remi’s body, his chest, his stomach, his hips, and the hunter had to pull away a fraction to gasp in a breath.

”I’ve missed you, you know,” he whispered.

'til the end is here

Coding base by Sky!

i've seen fire & i've seen rain.
i've seen sunny days that i thought would never end

Remi's body responded instinctively to Ronin's wandering fingers, his back arching slightly beneath the hunter so that he might encourage his touches. Suddenly the alchemist couldn't quite justify why he hadn't dragged Ronin back into the wagon, and as the hunter broke their kiss Remi chuckled breathlessly.

"I was just thinking the same." He agreed, his own fingers slipping beneath Ronin's shirt. The slight bulge beneath Ronin might beg to differ, but it had been what was on his mind...before Ronin's fingers changed that entirely.

"I'll never go away like that again. I promise." Remi whispered, his smile earnest despite the boyish blush spreading like wildfire across his cheeks in the moonlight.