From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
She snorted in amusement, half annoyed and just as relieved to hear him confirm it. As long as that bit remained true, then hope wasn't lost. There was still hope, still a silver lining somewhere in there, even if it was thin and bleak and disappeared far too often to be reliable.
"Don't brag, it's uncouth," she pouted when he let his arms change, first into fur and then to feathers. "Not polite, to show off your shifting in front of an Abandoned. It's like waving candy in front of a kid and then send them to bed without any." Stroking her hands over the rags of the shawl, she watched the shifts disappear again. Saw them replaced by ice in his hands, sharp blades that shimmered viciously in the faint light.
"Yes," Maea simply replied, and shifted where she sat. Turned a little more towards him, to look at him properly, whether he faced her or not.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
As Maea complained about Loren supposedly showing off, he gave her a dark look. ”Sorry I offended your fragile sensibilities by demonstrating a fact you already knew to be true.” His voice came out as unamused as his expression, tone bitter and biting in equal parts.
When she told him to do his worst, he didn’t look at her. Instead, he simply raised his hands slightly and crossed his arms a little. Then he jerked them across his body as he slit his wrists, the movements shockingly quick and certain, letting crimson blood fall steaming to the ground below as it dripped off his blades and poured out of his body.
Maea swore and lunged for him the moment she realized what he was about to do, but it was too late. Blades sliced through skin and arteries and blood gushed out, bright crimson in the stark whiteness of the world. Hot droplets sprayed over her face, her hands, and it was all done so quickly and calmly that it chilled her to the bones. Panic wanted to rise up like some tentacled beast within, but she shut it off, shoved it down and acted instead.
Without a care for the precarious perch they sat on she tried to push the man over to his back, onto the roof as she grabbed for his wrists to clamp down on the wounds with her fingers, apply pressure and hopefully stem the dangerous flow. She would fight him for them if she had to, so she could hold his arms high over the heart - maybe it would help, maybe it wasn't as bad as it looked. Maea could taste his blood in her mouth, salt iron and rust - and she though she'd never associate him with anything else, ever again. It tasted like pain, like grief, like helplessness.
"You stupid idiot!" she yelled, "I said tell me, not show! Heal yourself!" And a cold, horrible thought wondered somewhere within if he could, anymore. If he hadn't spent it all on her, on himself...
But he could still shape the ice daggers. So surely there must be some dregs of the healing left.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
02-14-2020, 11:50 AM (This post was last modified: 02-14-2020, 02:13 PM by Loren.)
LOREN
Maea would face no resistance from Loren. As she pushed him, he'd fall to his back easily enough. The icy blades would slip from suddenly slack fingers. Her efforts to raise his arms above him would similarly succeed, since his body had grown almost entirely limp.
However, even before she finished shouting at him, sparks of sky blue light were creeping across his wrists, sealing the cuts closed, replenishing the blood he lost. The flow slowed to a trickle, then stopped completely, without even a scar to show for it.
"'Good thing you can heal.'" There was something lost and small about his voice. "That's what I tell myself, 'good thing you can heal.'" He closed his eyes. "But nowadays, it's always followed by, 'is it?'" Because if he couldn't heal, maybe he wouldn't be so confused about pleasure and pain. Maybe he wouldn't be so reckless.
Or maybe he'd be dead by now. And that thought didn't bother him as much as it should.
The skin of his wrists knitted back together and the blood ceased to flow. Maea sucked in a shuddering gasp of relief and slumped down over Loren, her head thumping down onto his chest. For a while, she didn't move, didn't say anything... then her shoulders started to tremble, shake, as if she was laughing.
Only it was rather the other way around. Shock and outrage and the residual panic overwhelmed her defenses and quite without meaning to the girl began to cry. Her tears were hot, the sobs soundless and painful as they drew shuddering gasps from her lungs. She kept clinging on to his wrists, as if scared to make the blood flow again, as though the wounds might reopen once more if she let go.
She had no words for him this time. What he'd done... it was beyond them.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
As Maea collapsed down onto Loren, he barely reacted. Instead, he just stared sightlessly up at the still brightening sky. Occasional blinks and the rise and fall of his chest were the only indication that he'd actually survived. As she began to cry, however, he shifted a little. Twisting his wrists to break free of her hold, he lowered them slightly.
Then he wrapped them around her and just held her gently. "I'm sorry." It came out in a raw whisper, more breath than anything else. "I'm just so lost." He squeezed his own eyes shut, but it wasn't enough to stop his own silent tears from falling. Unlike her, his were only apparent in the tracks of water they left on his cheeks, since he'd long ago learned that crying openly and being seen and heard would result in further punishments.
She resisted his attempt to get free, but eventually had to let go. Maea's hands thumped down to his chest on either side of her head, and she couldn't bring herself to move them, to shift away, to do anything but ride the torrent of emotions to its end. It was too much. This was the final straw of too many emotions stirred to life in a heart not used to feel much at all. A season of forced cheerfulness and strength, of trying to handle abrupt changes to her life, of unprocessed grief and the turmoil of being thrust into a love relation that was far from uncomplicated... and now Loren. Fucking Loren.
It caught up to her all at once, and the only way she had to vent was with tears. They had been building up so much lately, overflowing whenever it got rough, too much, and so far only Sunjata had been entrusted with them. Loren? It wasn't even a choice here, just a breach in the dam.
"Idiot," she sobbed, not caring that she soaked his shirt with her tears. "Stupid, idiot. You're not lost, you're right here." A small hand balled into a fist and thumped into his shoulder. There was no real strength behind it, just frustration.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
He let her cry into his chest, not having anywhere else to go or anything else to do, and not knowing how to get there or how to do it even if he did. His own tears continued flowing, the one's that had only come in fits and starts since Abasi's death now coming in a still silent flood. All Loren did was continue to hold Maea and cry as she did.
As her fist slammed down on him, though it startled a laugh from him, one that came out half-choked. However, its echoes faded quickly. "Here. Half-dead, on a frozen rooftop. With you, crying in my arms because of something I did." The sobbing made it a little hard to get the words out, but he managed. "How is that not lost?" The despair in his voice was evident.
She shook her head, face still hidden against his chest. Did he really not hear himself? "See? You know exactly where you are. And where you've been. Not knowing where to go next is not the same as being lost. Idiot." She drew in a shuddering breath, tried to breathe through her nose but found it clogged. Coughed, tried to breathe again and found that it worked this time. A little. And it seemed a metaphor for this tormented man, in a way that was so ridiculous that she had to laugh, even through the tears.
Not caring about the lines on her face or the blotchy red colors or her swollen eyes, she forced herself to look up at him. Saw the tears streak down his own temples, and wondered if they would do him any good, or just chisel away at the rock of his foundations even more.
"If you don't know where to go, just stay here," she told him. Adding on to the rest of her words, as if she never paused. "And if you don't want to do that, then... just pick a direction. Can it really get any worse than this?"
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Loren shook his head. "I'm not an idiot. Not knowing where to go is being lost. A form of it." Strangely enough, his tone was more petulant and stubborn than before (or perhaps it wasn't that strange, given how thickheaded he was).
When Maea said it couldn't get worse, though, he snorted. "From your mouth to the god's ears." His lips twisted into something ugly. "I'm sure it could get worse. It always has before." The bitterness and bile rose to his throat and his tears redoubled.
"I don't..." Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he cleared his throat. "Don't w-want to be like this. I'm just so, so, I just want someone to tell me what to do." That last part came out in a pathetic tone, and he closed his eyes again. "I don't want to think for a while."
"You are an idiot," she insisted, with a wry smile, and reached up to wipe the tears with a sleeve. More were still coming, but she didn't really care. "'Lost' is not knowing where you are. Not knowing where you're going is just being ignorant, or indecisive. In your case, I call both. Which makes you a wishywashy idiot, as you can't tell the difference."
Maea pushed herself up off him and sat, wiping at her face again. Nothing really felt alright, but the day was wearing on, and she did not want Zariah or any of the other students to find them here like this. Tangled on the roof like lovers, when it was about as far from the truth as you could get. Misunderstandings could be dangerous here.
Sniffling, she looked down at Loren when he said his last part. Considered his words, his situation, whether she could actually do anything for him. "Loren... do you trust me, at all?" she asked him.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Loren sighed, and shook his head sadly. ”Are you sure you should be calling me an idiot right now?” Still, the fight was coming back to him in more ways than one now. ”I’m not well. That doesn’t make me ignorant or indecisive. I just...can’t deal with things right now.” His voice came out quietly ashamed, disgusted at how weak he was.
As she sat up and disentangled herself, he let her go without resistance. At her question, however, he sat up slowly, considering it very carefully. Finally, he sighed and ran a bloody hand through his hair. "More than I trust myself right now." Granted, even he knew that wasn't saying much.
She shrugged. "I'm just saying it like I see it. Never said being an idiot was a bad thing though. Not everyone can be brilliant all the time." She knew it was a poor attempt at humor, but hey. Maea wasn't at her best at the moment either.
Remaining quiet while he considered her question, she eventually nodded. Knew the tentative words for the uncertain 'for now' they were, and straightened herself up a bit. Made a decision, though she wasn't sure it was really the right one.
"Alright, maybe that's good enough. You say you want someone to tell you what to do; I can do that for you. You'd only have to do as I say, and trust that I'd never do anything to hurt you. Would you like that?" Maea held out a hand to him, palm up; this would have to be his decision, or it would mean nothing at all.
Light is easy to love Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
Loren snorted. "Yeah, but try telling them that." The joke was weak and self-deprecating and bitter, but at least it was a joke. He rubbed his arm a little nervously and a little guiltily, suddenly unable to meet Maea's gaze.
Shrugging, he glanced out to where the sun had finally broken fully free of the horizon. "I don't know that I like anything these days." It came out in that same broken whisper that he'd been speaking with for a while. Still, he turned to examine the hand she offered.
Slowly, he nodded. "Alright." Tentatively, he reached out to lay his palm on hers. However, as he did, he hesitated slightly. "Why..." Throat choked, he cleared it. "Why do you...why are you still here? Helping me?"
