Training Beat me black and Blue
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
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Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#57
MAEA
He put his palm in hers, and Maea closed her fingers around his hand. Held it gently, and sought his gaze. It was painful to see him like this, but then again, it always had been, from the start. He'd always managed to rile her, annoy her, make her open up and talk, let him in even when he told her not to.

"Because, for some reason," she told him kindly, "I'm rather fond of you. You can be an arrogant ass, and a stubborn prick... but I don't hate that. If I can help you at all, I will.

"Because... you're my friend. And I don't have so many that I can afford to lose any of them."
She made to stand up, still holding his hand, and once on her feet she tugged a little at him. Hoping he might rise up as well.
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#58
LOREN
Sighing, Loren closed his eyes, though he kept holding on to Maea's hand. "You understand that I believe I'm beyond help. And that...I'm almost certainly just going to disappoint you in the end, as I seem to disappoint everyone else." Opening his eyes, he searched her features for some sign that she did understand.

Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip. "And you understand that I have absolutely no idea how to be anyone's friend, to care for someone, without trying to sabotage it, either intentionally and unintentionally. That I...can't be trusted." It hurt to say the words, but he needed her to know what it meant to be claiming him as a friend.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#59
MAEA
Her grip tightened around his hand, refusing to let go. "Whether or not I end up disappointed is all on me. You get as many chances as I can give, so don't worry about that. Right now, the only one I'm expecting you to care about is Astra. So... here is what we are going to do."

Straightening up to her full height, Maea made sure she had Loren's full attention before continuing.

"For the coming two weeks, this is your schedule. Every morning you will meet me here an hour before dawn, and we will train. Then you will tend to your duties as Court Healer, and when those are done for the day, you are going to spend two hours with Astra, doing whatever she wants to do. Go anywhere, do anything, but it is her decision and you will not deny her."

Pointing at the flask he had dropped on the floor, she brough it over with a tug of telekinesis and handed it to Loren. "You will cut down on drink too. You only get one of these a day from now on, and one bar visit ever sevenday. For every time you don't show up or break my instructions, I'll tag on another week of this. And when you manage these things without any hiccups... you're going to get something nice from me. Won't tell you what, but I can promise you won't hate it."

She regarded him, to see if he understood, if she was setting the bar too low. Most likely the drink would be his biggest challenge for now... but it was the most important part.
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#60
LOREN
As Maea's fingers tightened around Loren's he bit his lip. At the mention of Astra, the healer's eyes welled with tears again, but they did not fall. Instead, he sighed. As the Loreseeker outlined her terms, he listened impassively.

Taking the flask as she offered it, he still watched with with an almost blank expression. Finally, he took a slow and shuddering breath. Then he nodded. "Alright. I will...I'll try." It was the only promise he could make, and he closed his eyes to try and calm his unsettled nerves and broken heart.  "You don't have to get me anything." Already, she was doing more than he could possibly ever ask of her.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#61
MAEA
He would try. Why was it that she surrounded herself with broken men who ever only could offer attempts, not even believing in their own ability to change? Was it something in the way she offered acceptance that drew them in, or did Maea suffer some savior complex, thinking she could actually save them from themselves?

"I believe in you," she told Loren with a little smile. "I do this because I want to. Please don't deny me the chance to do something nice for my friend who's in a rough place." She squeezed his hand again, then let go.

"It's getting late... let's get on with the day, shall we? I'd suggest you either take a nap or get some food before work... you've looked better." It was a gentle tease, and rather hypocritical coming from her, who could have been plucked straight from some torture chamber. All tattered and bloody. But the way she smiled, Maea seemed rather pleased.
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#62
LOREN
Snorting, Loren just shook his head. "That makes one of us." He was suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion and he slumped.

As Maea continued speaking, though, he glanced at her. "Even if I don't deserve it?" As she released his hand, he rubbed it awkwardly.

Sighing, he stood up. Glancing one last time at the horizon, and at the ground below, he finally turned his back to both. "I've looked worse too." Running another bloody hand through his already dirty hair, he sighed, then shrugged. "I'll grab some food. But...you don't need to keep an eye on me. I'm not going to..." Letting his voice trail off, he waved a hand vaguely.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#63
MAEA
He was so determined to look down in himself, to reject her attempts to cheer him up, and it saddened her more than she could say. But though she was half tempted to grab him by the shoulders and just shake him, Maea kept her chin up. Wasn't sure it was a better option, but... they had done enough damage to each other for one day.

She did sigh though, and rub the back of her neck with a blood-flecked hand. "It's not... I don't think it has anything to do with being deserving," she said. "If you can't think of it as a reward, then... just say it's a goal to work towards?"

Looking him over, she considered his feeble assurance that he wouldn't try to kill himlself again. Pursing her lips, Maea shrugged. "Can you really blame me for being concerned, after what you just did? If it's all the same to you, I'll just do it anyway. And if it bothers you, then... just prove to me you won't do anything reckless. And maybe I'll believe you."
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#64
LOREN
Shivering at Maea’s words, Loren shook his head a bit too forcefully. ”I don’t...I can’t…” His voice shook almost as much as he did.

Lifting suddenly trembling hands, he laid them on her shoulders. Eyes haunted, he shook his head again, more slowly this time. "I just want it to stop. All of it." His tone was quietly despairing. "I don't want to be the one who lives while everyone around me dies."

Releasing her, he hugged one arm to himself, a closed off and defensive posture. "I guess not." Shrugging, he bit his lip. "The last thing I want is to be more of a burden. To be...I don't know. To hurt people more than I already have." Obviously, he was doing a shit job at that, and he knew it.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#65
MAEA
Startled when he suddenly grasped her shoulders, Maea's hands came up to cup his elbows even as her eyes widened. The despair in him, the utter terror of losing more people gripped her like a choke hold around the throat, and she swallowed. Struggled to find words even as he released her and hugged himself, because... what answers did he think she had? What was he expecting of her, by saying such things?

The girl bit her lip and looked down, staring into the icy roof beneath her feet as if it might hold the secrets she sought. Closing her eyes, breathing in deep, she thought of Ludo, of Delphia, of Vi and Mort, who seemed to wreak such havoc upon Loren's life. Life and death. Souls and guidance, and... and a fragment of a conversation came to her, like a whisper on the wind. Helped her thoughts clear, ever so slightly.

"What do you think death is, Loren?" she asked thoughtfully, with words that seemed entirely unrelated to what he'd just said. "And life... what does it mean, to you?"
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#66
LOREN
As Maea asked him what death was, he froze. "You'd know what Mort's realm is like far better than I." He sighed, and hugged his arm more tightly against his side. "A release. Rest. Respite." It came out softly, spoken more towards himself than to her.

Answering what he thought life was wasn't going to be any easier for him. Lowering his arms, he clenched his hands into fists so hard that he drew blood. Then he shook his head a little sadly. "Struggle." Because that what it had been, clawing his way to the light for brief moments before getting dragged back down into the darkness.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#67
MAEA
She gave him a strange look. "Do I? I've never been there, never seen it. Nor have I ever seen Mort. I don't know if you recall, but I've lost people too... and I have no answers for you on why they went before me." Reaching up both hands to her head, she raked her fingers through the hair, scrubbed at her scalp in poorly contained frustration.

"Thing is, Loren, that there is no reason for it. Or rather, the reasons all lie with Rae. You are a follower of them, of Frey; tell me about Nature. Vi breathes life into things, Mort cares for them after their time has passed, but in between?

"Tell me about the circle of life. Remind me how it all works, please? The seasons, rain, animals -all of it?"
But for all that she phrased it as a request, it was clear Maea wanted Loren to give himself the answers. Make him think, make him perhaps look outside himself and his pit of dark despair, and see.... something. Anything.

There was a point to all this, she was just... not great at getting to it.
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#68
LOREN
Loren just stared at Maea "But you have a better sense of what Mort's realm is than an Outlander who has barely spent any time here." Strangely enough, his voice seemed fairly certain on that point.

Letting out a bitter laugh, he shook his head. "In between? Not sure I have any more answers than you do. Things just do what is in their nature to do. They are born, they grow, they eat, they fuck, they die, they kill, they are killed. Survival and procreation. There's nothing comprehensible about it, to us mortals at least."

Crossing his arms, he looked at her, eyes still haunted. "You're right. The only reason is the reason that we give it because we have, for some reason, been blessed with the ability to think." His voice came out in a broken whisper.
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.
Maea Valair
Hollowed Grounds Ambassador / Loreseeker

Age: 29 | Height: 156 cm / 5'1 ft | Race: Ancient | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 2 - Strg: 22 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 25 - Luck: 20 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,023 | Total: 5,765
MP: 1897
#69
MAEA
Mmmmh, yeah, he did not see it. Didn't grasp it, or understand... Maea sighed. Began to explain, to try and share the way she had learned to think of things. But it was hard, because she was still coming to terms with it herself.

"Vi is like the sun," she began, "shining down on the land to give it life. Rae provides the water and the soil, and plants grow. Animals eat the plants. Other animals, and we, eat both the plants and the animals, and when we die, we turn into soil. Plants grow from our bodies, and animals eat the plants, and so it goes. Rain falls from the sky, and then runs off into creeks, that grow to rivers, who find their way to the ocean. There, the sun shines on the sea and form clouds, which drift inland on the wind, and rain falls again.

"Humans are given life, and we live according to the laws of Vi and Rae, make new humans, and then we die. Our souls are taken in by Mort, and then reborn anew by the grace of Vi. It is a circle,"
she said, clarifying by drawing one in the air between them with a finger. A tendril of water followed the motion, and she let it hover there as a reminder while she went on.

"Everything that happens has happened before. Nothing is new, everything is connected. Even if those we love go to a place where we can no longer see them, they will always be with us. In the air we breathe, in the water we drink, the food we eat, and eventually, we will be with them in Mort's embrace, before we are all returned to the world, to live again."

The circle broke up into numerous tiny droplets, like all the souls of the living, before coalescing into a single, unified orb of water. It spun on itself, stretching thinner and wider, until a hole began to form in the center and it became a circle again.

"What I'm trying to say is, there is no singular reason why you are suffering right now, but there is a structure to the madness of it. There is a balance to it, even if we can't see it, and this is how I believe it works." Maea turned the orb of water into mist, and blew on it. The cold Halo air made it freeze almost instantly, and the shards of ice glittered in the wan sunlight as it drifted off.

"So, you are actually right. Life is all about the reason, the meaning you give it. If you are determined to make Vi's gift to you a long suffering, then... that is really up to you. But I've always heard that if you want to rest, if you want to go to Mort and find solace in his embrace, then you have to first honor Vi. Earn it, by trying your hardest to live, breathe life to the fullest of your abilities, until your brittled bones break, your gritted teeth cracks, and then, someday, when your time has come... You'll be able to face all those who went before you and say that you did your best."

Her smile had faded as she spoke, and for all that she was small and dirty and rather tired, the girl managed to look stern as she gazed up at her friend. Kind, but a little aggrieved, as if he was a child caught feeding the vegetables to the dog and still asking for dessert.

"Can you honestly say that if everything ended right here, right now, you'd have no regrets? Could you face those you've lost, and meet their gaze with your head held high?"
Light is easy to love
Show me your darkness
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
♦ Violence, magic, thievery is permitted with Maea at all times. DM me if you have any ideas ♦
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#70
LOREN
Well, Maea certainly had a lot to say on this particular subject. Loren mostly remained silent, making noises of acknowledgement every once in a while as she explained how things worked in Caido. As she finally finished, and asked him to respond, he sighed, and looked away.

Running a hand through his hair, he bit his lip. "Of course I have regrets. I have basically nothing but regrets." The words came out quietly.

Shaking his head away slightly, he forced himself to meet her gaze. "What do you do if those who went before have contradictory wishes for you, hm? Or if the things that feel right and good to you don't merit their approval?"
But don’t be weary if it’s broken
Families are like that—
they’re split up and always torn.


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