They hadn't done a lot of praying in their life. Not the formal "go to a Shrine" kind. Lots of the on-the-fly "oh please, oh please, oh please" kind. But there just wasn't time to spend at a Shrine when there was work to be done. Plus, it was hard for Quanil to sit still and focus through it the way they'd been taught. But this was different. This wasn't asking for their parents to finally understand, asking for someone to smile at them the way they did at others, asking to be a Loreseeker. It wasn't about anything for themselves. This was about Freina.
They walked through the recently-rebuilt Shrine, far too aware of the sound of their footsteps and the thumping of their heartbeat. They felt like any second now they'd be called out for being here, by gods either old or new or, worse yet, by their parents. But there was no sound here but their shoes and their breathing.
The stopped and knelt and clasped their hands, bowed their head, closed their eyes. These were all things they'd seen or heard of people doing, and Quanil had decided to throw as many of the gestures into the mix as they possibly could. They cleared their throat.
I don't... I don't know where to begin. I don't know who to ask. Do I ask Ludo if He's taken my sister's soul to Mort yet? Do I ask Safrin if She can detect Freina's heartbeat somewhere? Would Frey know if she's somewhere in the wilderness?
Aloud, they said, quietly, almost afraid of being overheard by someone mortal and... non-godly, "I'm not sure what to do here or how to do it or even who to ask it of, but I've been looking for my sister, Freina. She went missing during Fiat Lux, and I've looked for her, when I can, but I haven't found her yet.
"And yeah, it's true that Provost Silversmith said I should find her before becoming a Loreseeker, and it's true that I want to be one more than I've ever wanted anything in my life, but..." They paused and unclasped their hands to reach into their pocket and draw out the sigil of the Loreseekers. They still refused to wear it until they'd completed their appointed quests, which included finding Freina. They held it out in their palm, 'til it hit a bit of light and gleamed. This pin symbolized the life Quanil had always wanted. They set it on the ground in front of them, then returned to their bowed head/closed eyes/clasped hands posture.
"Nothing I want is worth my sister's life. I'm not asking you to do for me what I should have done in the first place. I should have looked for her sooner, should have kept my eye on her when we were all running. She's my little sister; I'm supposed to look out for her. All I want is a little help. A nudge in the right direction. Or, if not that, at least to know she's okay, wherever she is? That... that my parents still have two children they can call their own?"
Because Quanil had heard them arguing about whether they were even their kid, about whether Mother might have cheated on Father. Quanil knew they were different than the rest of the family, different than a lot of the other Grounders. Freina deserved to still be alive, to go home to a family that she actually belonged with, to the family that had birthed her and loved her. Freina would look after Kedran and Mother and Father would be happy with their two children who made proper sense and didn't go looking after trouble, and Quanil would have the Loreseekers, and everyone would be happy.
"Please," they whispered, feeling the tears well up behind their eyelids, "I just want everyone to be happy."
They walked through the recently-rebuilt Shrine, far too aware of the sound of their footsteps and the thumping of their heartbeat. They felt like any second now they'd be called out for being here, by gods either old or new or, worse yet, by their parents. But there was no sound here but their shoes and their breathing.
The stopped and knelt and clasped their hands, bowed their head, closed their eyes. These were all things they'd seen or heard of people doing, and Quanil had decided to throw as many of the gestures into the mix as they possibly could. They cleared their throat.
I don't... I don't know where to begin. I don't know who to ask. Do I ask Ludo if He's taken my sister's soul to Mort yet? Do I ask Safrin if She can detect Freina's heartbeat somewhere? Would Frey know if she's somewhere in the wilderness?
Aloud, they said, quietly, almost afraid of being overheard by someone mortal and... non-godly, "I'm not sure what to do here or how to do it or even who to ask it of, but I've been looking for my sister, Freina. She went missing during Fiat Lux, and I've looked for her, when I can, but I haven't found her yet.
"And yeah, it's true that Provost Silversmith said I should find her before becoming a Loreseeker, and it's true that I want to be one more than I've ever wanted anything in my life, but..." They paused and unclasped their hands to reach into their pocket and draw out the sigil of the Loreseekers. They still refused to wear it until they'd completed their appointed quests, which included finding Freina. They held it out in their palm, 'til it hit a bit of light and gleamed. This pin symbolized the life Quanil had always wanted. They set it on the ground in front of them, then returned to their bowed head/closed eyes/clasped hands posture.
"Nothing I want is worth my sister's life. I'm not asking you to do for me what I should have done in the first place. I should have looked for her sooner, should have kept my eye on her when we were all running. She's my little sister; I'm supposed to look out for her. All I want is a little help. A nudge in the right direction. Or, if not that, at least to know she's okay, wherever she is? That... that my parents still have two children they can call their own?"
Because Quanil had heard them arguing about whether they were even their kid, about whether Mother might have cheated on Father. Quanil knew they were different than the rest of the family, different than a lot of the other Grounders. Freina deserved to still be alive, to go home to a family that she actually belonged with, to the family that had birthed her and loved her. Freina would look after Kedran and Mother and Father would be happy with their two children who made proper sense and didn't go looking after trouble, and Quanil would have the Loreseekers, and everyone would be happy.
"Please," they whispered, feeling the tears well up behind their eyelids, "I just want everyone to be happy."
