i can't help you fix yourself but at least i can say i tried
korbin
Noah Olson
the Forsaken
Hunter

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 9 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 47 - Endr: 46 - Luck: 47 - Int: 1
EIRA - Mythical - Griffin (Venom) VI’ADORE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
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#15
Noah

Noah stayed motionless, but his eyes did flutter open once more. He watched as Korbin's body puffed with what he guessed was rage. There was no smugness to Noah's actions, and he kept his mind as neutral and blank as possible, as to not display anything over the attuned bond. The other birds ruffled, too, but Noah stayed stock still. He had no intention of leaving.

When Noah had killed a man out in the tundra, and was dealing with the emotional and physical stress of such a thing, Korbin was there. He had encouraged Noah to do something, to continue the hunt if that was what he needed. Noah did need that, to keep busy and to press forward. He was a man full of grit, but he had needed to be reminded. Perhaps Korbin needed to be reminded, too, that there was still meaning to his life. He was a healer, hunter, friend--all of these things designed to help other people. Korbin might not want to help, to be helped, but Noah still wondered if that would be good for the raven.

But grief takes time. Noah would not press it, not force the boy to do what he did not wanted--but he would still stay.

Am I a prisoner to instincts or do my thoughts just live as free
And detached as boats to the dock?
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
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#16
KORBIN
Leave my loneliness unbroken!
- quit the bust above my door!
Korbin stewed in the rancour for long minutes. While it lasted, he could almost forget about the pain. It became just a little bit more distant. Almost like drowning himself in alcohol. But it didn't last. There was no drifting off into darkness now. Just a slow descent into the numbness, when Noah didn't say or do anything to stoke the flames of his ire. Without triggers, Korbin couldn't keep it up, and slowly the feathers of his plumage settled back down. As did the other birds.

For a while, Korbin gazed down upon the reindeer. Then the raven turned it's back on it and resumed the apathetic roosting, beak under wing while huddled in against other black bodies.

Let Noah do whatever. Korbin wouldn't go to him. Wouldn't speak. He had nothing to say, no urge or desire to do anything but sleep. Forget. Drown in oblivion and hope that the awakening would never come.

If there ever was meaning, it had died with a brave girl who fought ursurs to save her people.
Quoth the Raven,
"Nevermore."
Noah Olson
the Forsaken
Hunter

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 9 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 47 - Endr: 46 - Luck: 47 - Int: 1
EIRA - Mythical - Griffin (Venom) VI’ADORE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: Time Offline
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Posts: 2,009 | Total: 2,361
MP: 1005
#17
Noah

At this moment, Noah wished Ezekiel was here more than ever. While he himself missed his younger brother, he knew that the younger Hale and the younger Olson had been much closer to eachother than Noah was to Korbin. Ezekiel would know what to say to Korbin because he knew him well. But the younger, more wild Olson had gone on his travels and was stuck outside of the frozen world for the duration of the season. But, Noah kept wishing for him anyway. He wouldn't be able to replace what Korbin had lost -- no one and nothing could -- but maybe he wouldn't have to face Korbin's wrath as much as the rest of them.

Noah continued to lay there, curled up against the wall. His reindeer form offered him exponentially more protection than his human form in this season, and he knew he would be safe to stay in this position for as long as he needed to. He had no intentions of leaving Korbin here alone, with the other, unaware ravens. If the boy wanted to leave, he could. Noah was a silent, vigilant reminder of care. It was all he could be now. He had no words for the younger Halovian. He had no condolences to offer, no encouragement to give -- none would suffice. He knew that from the beginning. He would not fill the silence with words that meant nothing. It was not in his character, and he did not think for a second it would be beneficial.

So he lay, every once and a while glancing up at Korbin with glacier eyes.

Am I a prisoner to instincts or do my thoughts just live as free
And detached as boats to the dock?
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
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#18
KORBIN
Leave my loneliness unbroken!
- quit the bust above my door!
It did not really matter who tried. No one got through to Korbin right now.  Loren might force him to stay, Noah could sit around all he wanted, Kiada could rage and roar, Chulane weedle and coax, but he turned his back on all of them, if in different ways. Their presence made no difference. They did not matter, their feelings could not move him, their words held no sway. He just did not believe it when they claimed to care, said his existence had meaning. How could it? Their lives would go on whether he was there or not. The world would not stop spinning, the sun would still rise... and the unknown had lost all its wonder and delight.

Incurious. Apathetic. Indifferent. Hopeless.

The future was a desert, and the oasis of joy and peace were too few, too far in between to make the journey worth it. Korbin was tired. Bone weary, exhausted from trying so hard for so long, and all in vain. How old had he been when he first lost someone? Eight, maybe. Ten years later, and four funerals, he hadn't gotten anywhere. And all that lay before him was desolation. Lonely wastes where shadows stirred, faceless and nameless, shallow relations that would inevitably end.

Weaver once said that she would rather treasure the brief joy and carry the pain, because she never expected it to last. He had envied her that bright outlook. But he still couldn't share it. Korbin just wasn't that strong. He had never been able to love by half, or do anything without pouring all of himself into it.

And look where that left him. Trapped in a never ending spiral, where grief and pain, love and loss and hopelessness fed into one another until he drowned and couldn't breathe. There was nothing left in him. No more to offer, no will to accept anything from others.

Hollow.

What the reindeer wanted from him was beyond Korbin. Couldn't he see that he had nothing left to give?
Quoth the Raven,
"Nevermore."
Noah Olson
the Forsaken
Hunter

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 9 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 47 - Endr: 46 - Luck: 47 - Int: 1
EIRA - Mythical - Griffin (Venom) VI’ADORE - Mythical - Unicorn (Healing)
Played by: Time Offline
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Posts: 2,009 | Total: 2,361
MP: 1005
#19
Noah

Noah did not need anything from the raven. Korbin was exhausted, grieving, cold. Noah knew that. All the hunter needed was to be here. He would accept whatever Korbin gave him, or did not give him.

People died. It was all of a part of living in their frozen kingdom. Halo was a dangerous, cold, unforgiving place to live. Some understood this better than others, but even the understanding never made it easier when someone finally did die. Noah knew the biting pain of loss that Korbin was experiencing. Korbin was not a unique individual with the story he was living out. There were many people in Snowcloak who were the only ones left in their family. For all Noah knew, he could even be the only one left in his family.

There was just a harsh reality of the world they lived in. But Noah was not so crass as to stand before Korbin and demand that the raven pull himself up by his bootstraps and accept this world for what it was. He couldn't. Simply, he stayed present. It was what he had to offer.

Am I a prisoner to instincts or do my thoughts just live as free
And detached as boats to the dock?
Korbin Hale
Healer / Bartender

Age: 25 | Height: 6'3in (190 cm) | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 4 - Strg: 19 - Dext: 17 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 9 - Int:
Played by: Chan Offline
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Posts: 1,102 | Total: 5,762
MP: 0
#20
KORBIN
Leave my loneliness unbroken!
- quit the bust above my door!
Death was part of life. But that was also why Korbin no longer saw a reason to keep going. Let the end come for him too. It was going to anyway, so why drag it out? Why wait, why put it off? He just wanted to go home to his family. In this cold, broken wasteland, the fires no longer sufficed to keep him warm.

He had loved Halo. The white expanse  the blue sky, the icy wind. It's harshness, the strength it took to survive. But now it had broken him.  Korbin never fit in here, never truly belonged. He was no real fighter, no real hunter. He would rather raise and care for animals than kill and butcher them, would rather heal people than hurt them. He had dreamed bitter fantasies of music and art, but Halo would never have room for his kind of soft bleeding heart.

Truth was, Korbin was as much an outsider here as any outlander. He had no place. No role to fill. Weaver was his anchor but it had been cut loose and set him adrift on a sea of ice, lost.

More lost than he could ever explain.

Finally, the raven had enough. The quiet stare of the reindeer frayed on his patience until nothing remained. Shuffling out from the other birds, Korbin spread his wings and took off, darting out from the aviary and off over the rooftops of the Citadel.

He would not return to this place anytime soon.

--‐------------
- FIN
Quoth the Raven,
"Nevermore."


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