to live, to die and then to live
For Ru
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,399 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#1
the real tragedies of life occur
in such an inartistic manner
Time had taken on an odd quality where it was frozen and moving too quickly all at once; Bastien heard people outside the room he had shut himself and his family in have meals, sing songs, sleep, wake again: at some point someone came in to drop off Azrael, who he had taken in his arms then continued to sit next to Rexanna in the bed where she lay, staring directly ahead at the wall.

To the average onlooker, it would seem as if his mind was empty as he studied the bricks before him with a strange intensity, the baby sleeping in his arms only occasionally taking from him a quick glance or adjustment of his arms. Truthfully though, Bastien's mind was racing. With thoughts, images, memories: he'd always had a powerful imagination and now it was working overtime, desperately trying to find a way to make it all alright.

Or at least, to give the impression it was all alright.

He had not looked at Rexanna for a few hours now. After his initial rage and shock the sight of her still face made him choke on tears and blurred his vision; it was necessary for his survival that he kept his eyes turned from her as he sat there, a silent sentinel for his wife. He knew there would be those who wanted parts of her, vultures that would pick her apart before her death was even known to all: he would not let it happen.
their absolute incoherence
their absurd want of meaning
BASTIEN
Base Code by Sky!
Hotaru Kaito
the Valkyrie
Masseuse / Headmistress

Age: 33 | Height: 5'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: King's End
Level: 3 - Strg: 38 - Dext: 38 - Endr: 54 - Luck: 40 - Int:
Played by: Brit Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,242 | Total: 6,169
MP: 9427
#2
HOTARU
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
The time between falling into Deimos' arms outside the door that separated her from Rexanna's body, and now, is time that she will never be able to distinguish. It's a muddled blur at best, an emotional tapestry woven with sightless eyes. No clearer than paint water, murky and grey. She fumbles blindly for the handle of the door, shuts it quietly behind Atlas who refuses to be parted from her. When at last she manages to summon the strength to turn, to see, she must lean once more upon her companion to keep her feet beneath her. As such, Atlas guides her onward towards her sister's prone form and Bastien's hunched vigil over it.

Part of her rails at the idea, at the presumption that she must ask, but ask she does. "May I?" Voice wavering uncharacteristically, tears seemingly unending. One body should not hold this much grief, this much regret. It feels as if she's tearing apart at seams shoddily patched at best. Eyes beseeching, pleading, even as her hand tentatively moves to take up Rexanna's. Atlas remains close in case she needs him, but she is already crumpling against the table's edge as both hands clutch the still, unnatural hand that had warmed hers for so many years. She does not cry as gracefully as the Ascended, knows she must look a wreck in a way Bastien has never seen of her, but in this their grief is shared. A kinship of ugliness that cannot be stripped any further. Raw and blemished and hurting. "I just found you again," she weeps against the pale skin, pressing the back of Rexanna's hand to her eyes as if to stop the flood that emerges from them. It feels wrong, to break apart so fully in front of Bastien, whose grief is different but no less deep. But she won't even dream of demanding he give her privacy, not when she knows how hard it will be on herself to walk out of this room once more.
singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,399 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#3
the real tragedies of life occur
in such an inartistic manner
Seeing Hotaru enter as the door creaked open, Bastien was actually relieved: here was someone who he knew had to understand the pain as strongly as he did, who he had seen first had love his wife with her whole heart. There would not have to be any pretensions of dignity or stoicism with her.

He nodded automatically as she asked, watched her come to Rexanna's side. While she was right in knowing he wouldn't leave the room, he did turn his head; holding Azrael he looked away to the other side of the room, gently stroking his fingers over the hair on his child's head, which he'd noticed was the same colour as Rexanna's as it was coming in: small mercy that their baby would always have some of her in it.

Finally, when he'd waited for a long while in silence, he turned to place a soft hand on Hotaru's shoulder. "...She was very glad, to have you back in her life."
their absolute incoherence
their absurd want of meaning
BASTIEN
Base Code by Sky!
Hotaru Kaito
the Valkyrie
Masseuse / Headmistress

Age: 33 | Height: 5'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: King's End
Level: 3 - Strg: 38 - Dext: 38 - Endr: 54 - Luck: 40 - Int:
Played by: Brit Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,242 | Total: 6,169
MP: 9427
#4
HOTARU
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
He gives her the privacy she needs, though she holds him dear enough to not need it. Their grief is shared, if colored in shades of different colors, closeness no less while still differing in nature. She presses Rexanna's cold hand to her cheek, hot tears trailing down as if to try and flow inside her sister's veins to warm her back to life with the expression of her grief. But those are miracles found in fairy tales and bedtime stories. The hand in hers never moves, those brilliant eyes don't stir and open. Her tears do little else than collect upon her cheeks and stain the wood grain where her sister's body lies.

When Bastien lays his hand upon her, she slumps towards the touch helplessly. Rexanna had always been her rock, tethered together at the hip. Without her, Hotaru feels unmoored. Sinking and lost in the dark grasp of the sea, choking and drowning in grief and tears. "As was I," she admits in shattered undertone, eyes finally finding the strength to open and listlessly move towards Bastien. "I don't know what to do without her." Eyes fall to the child Bastien cradles, and she frees one hand to slowly - in case she is denied - stroke the back of a finger down the child's cherubic cheek. So alike the two of them it almost hurts to see, and yet it lifts her spirits all the same as children always have. To know that Rexanna's spirit and heart lives on, in the way Hotaru knows her own children would do.
singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,399 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#5
the real tragedies of life occur
in such an inartistic manner
Hotaru leaned closer, collapsed into his arms; Bastien was ready to take her, wrapping his free arm around her shoulders and pressing his face to her hair, closing his eyes tight as his own tears threatened to fall. Azrael made a quiet cooing noise, unsure of what was going on: Bastien watched with a gently approving smile as Hotaru reached out to stroke their face.

"None of us do. I have no idea how to raise this child on my own. The thought is...overwhelming." He'd already been terrified of fatherhood when Rexanna was going to be his partner; to do it alone was unimaginable. "I feel...like I have failed, Hotaru. We all know Rexanna was the stronger between her and myself, but..perhaps it is the biases of my home coming to roost, but I feel as if I should have been able to protect her." He spoke quietly, voice husky with held back sobs.
their absolute incoherence
their absurd want of meaning
BASTIEN
Base Code by Sky!
Hotaru Kaito
the Valkyrie
Masseuse / Headmistress

Age: 33 | Height: 5'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: King's End
Level: 3 - Strg: 38 - Dext: 38 - Endr: 54 - Luck: 40 - Int:
Played by: Brit Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,242 | Total: 6,169
MP: 9427
#6
HOTARU
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
The soft sound that only a child could make is enough to keep her from collapsing entirely, free arm automatically rising in case Bastien needs to help shift Azrael around as they lean on one another. It hurts, to know that Rexanna will not get to try again at motherhood. Hotaru had effectively raised Kiada in her younger days, when she and Romina had been inseparable. But Rexanna had wanted so badly to try again, and now that chance had been stolen from her, leaving Azrael without a mother in a way Kiada had not fully experienced before. The calming effect of the child's cherubic face cannot contest the wave of fresh grief that overcomes her at this realization.

She wraps an arm around Bastien as he begins to sob, holding him tight with Azrael cradled between them. "There was nothing you could have done that would not have taken you from Azrael too," her voice wobbles dangerously, her own cheeks wet with tears. "You are never alone. I'm here. I promise, Bastien, I'm here. For the both of you." To give whatever was needed. She presses her forehead to his shoulder, her own trembling with grief. All she knows how to do is keep moving, in the same way as when she'd lost her children. "We just...we have to keep trying. One day at a time." Until we're reunited, falls dead and unspoken on her tongue, because only Azrael and Bastien would have that honor.
singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,399 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#7
the real tragedies of life occur
in such an inartistic manner
While he knew Hotaru was likely right, Bastien could not help his imagination running wild. What if his hand on the door had had some other effect? What if it had somehow nullified the effect? What if he could have opened it first, letting her pass through? Lord knew that Bastien was not an insecure man, but he would have done anything to save Rexanna's life rather than his own. Anything to not be the one left behind, the one cradling the child they had put so much of their love into.

He reached out a hand before himself to hold Hotaru close; just to feel someone else with him, someone who didn't need his protection as desperately as Azrael. "One day at a time...I never thought I would have a day without her. Each one will feel empty." Bastien said this matter-of-factly, calmly, as if it were a statement of fact and not a dramatic declaration. "I am going to come up short in a million different ways for this child...for everyone else...and I am not ready."
their absolute incoherence
their absurd want of meaning
BASTIEN
Base Code by Sky!
Hotaru Kaito
the Valkyrie
Masseuse / Headmistress

Age: 33 | Height: 5'2 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: King's End
Level: 3 - Strg: 38 - Dext: 38 - Endr: 54 - Luck: 40 - Int:
Played by: Brit Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,242 | Total: 6,169
MP: 9427
#8
HOTARU
She's in a long black coat tonight
Waiting for me in the downpour outside
She can't blame him for the what if's, for the maybes that surely take roost in his mind like an infestation of weakness and grief. How many times has she felt the same? How many children had she lost, leaving her crippled in her mourning, wondering if her presence could have made a difference in their fates? At least her beloveds had left of their own accord, taking her tired heart with her. At least Azrael is still alive. These are things she can praise, even in the oppressive darkness of Rexanna's loss. These are the things that give her the strength to cling back to Bastien as he pulls her close.

"It's an emptiness that nothing can truly fill. But with all pain, it numbs with time, even if it never heals." Just as calm and understanding as the man tucked against her. All too aware of how it feels, the abyss he must be staring into. One she can share in so many ways. "No parent is ever ready, not wholly. Even the most meticulously planned life is disrupted by a child's soul." Again she traces the cherubic cheek, eyes soft and full of love that hurts all the more with how Rexanna cannot be here to impart it instead. "We all fail our children. It is the curse of parenthood. All we can strive to do...is love them, every day, and never let them forget it." Her brow creases with pain, tucking her forehead to Bastien's shoulder and holding the two remaining members of her extended family close to her breast. "I have lost so many of my own children. I have lost my own parents. I can swear to you, Bastien, that your love alone is all they will need to get through this." And Hotaru is sure that in that way, Bastien will not fail. And she will be there to guide him however she can.
singing "Baby come home" in a melody of tears
While the rhythm of the rain keeps time
Hotaru has a passive magic that makes her glow with an internal golden light; it makes her appear youthful and her hair seems to look like moving sunlight. Can only subtly illuminate dark spaces.
Bastien De Rosieres
the Dionysian
Ambassador for the Hollowed Grounds / Artist

Age: 41 | Height: 6' 2" | Race: Ascended | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Hollowed Grounds
Level: 5 - Strg: 20 - Dext: 22 - Endr: 20 - Luck: 10 - Int:
PITTORE - Mythical - Gremlin (Disappearance)
Played by: lancydulac Offline
Change author:
Posts: 1,399 | Total: 8,707
MP: 0
#9
the real tragedies of life occur
in such an inartistic manner
It  was comforting to be held against Hotaru, as much as the part of Bastien that still wanted to be proud railed against it. His tears, slightly thicker than normal due to fluid, stained her clothes: he hoped she wouldn't mind; he certainly couldn't help it.

"I...I almost don't want the pain to numb. That would mean letting go of her." He whispered, voice strained and broken; it felt like a betrayal to even think of moving on, doing anything but wallowing in his grief. What if the Voice somehow brought her back someday and he had allowed himself to go to the next chapter without her? With the Ascended, it was hard to ever know when it was the end.

Hotaru was right that he would have never felt ready anyway: he hadn't before Rexanna had died. Bastien reached up to stroke Azrael's cheek, their perfect eyes looking up towards him. "I do love them more than I can express. I just...I wish they could feel her love too. She was going to be an amazing mother, I know it."
their absolute incoherence
their absurd want of meaning
BASTIEN
Base Code by Sky!


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