things i wish i didn’t know

we live in a world someone else imagined

”Mm, I suppose it is,” Ronin agreed with a smirk, nodding to the other man. The mention of Seren had him looking up, a prick of guilt in his expression. ”Yes,” he said slowly, ”...and no, as well.” It was difficult to say, Ronin shaking his head as if to dislodge the thoughts. ”She arrived to me as a toddler. I never knew her... like you know Azrael,” he explained as best he could. ”And she grows so quickly. She must look like she’s in her mid-teens by now. I couldn’t protect her from the world if I tried - she’ll be exploring it on her own before I know it.”

He didn’t know if that was a good explanation or not, or if it made him a bad father, but Ronin could only be honest. Same as he was honest with Bastien’s next question. Smirking, he nodded to the Ascended. ”Of course. We all change, but... yes. I am not the same man who first came to Caido.” It wasn’t a bad thing, but it didn’t make it any less true.

Listening with interest as he explained about Ludo, about his wish to make a lantern for Rex, Ronin hummed out a note of curiosity. ”Vanya appeared last year, for Saiden. He put a lantern out for her, even though she was in the sky. Ludo must have produced a memory of her for him. So... it might be worth it, even if it’s just to show Azrael your favourite parts of their mother.”

the dark star

BASTIEN

It was obvious that Ronin had mixed feelings about Seren, which Bastien understood: he didn't know much about the circumstances of her birth, but he did know that they had been unusual, and he knew Ronin was a good enough man to be doing his best for her regardless. "I have been told Azrael will go quickly, and I must admit I find it hard...I just hold them as close as I can now, while they are still able to be held." His arms had been tight around the baby lately as he'd begun to think his time with them at this stage was growing short.

One of the things he loved about Ronin was his open mindedness, considering the position of Ascended souls even as a Demi God of Safrin. Bastien nodded, accepting the point. "Maybe so. It might be nice as a project...but I am glad we are a while from Leafchange. I don't think I could handle it at the moment."

Ronin stayed for a little while longer, the conversation one of the more pleasant Bastien ha had in a long while; when he bid the man farewell (holding one of Azraels tiny hands to fake a wave) he made sure to tell him he had appreciated the visit, and that he may one day return the favour.


{FIN}

You standing beside me
I'm going to push back, push back, push back
With every word and every breath