Call it what you want

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time Sam took a moment to really sink his teeth in, the feeling of skin splitting underneath his teeth new and all at once repulsive and delicious. The first rush of hot blood in his mouth was still a little shocking, even though he knew exactly what he was doing. Swallowing was something instinctive, his body knowing more than his mind what he needed. Remi's hand on his hip awoke something in him that actually felt the pleasure in the act, the way his head was light and a heat coiled in his gut. His fingers tightened on Remi's jaw and he made a soft 'hum' noise in answer to the moan, his other hand reaching down to rest on Remi's thigh (partly for balance, partly in response to Remi's own touching). He knew that he'd have to stop this soon, that taking too much would be dangerous - but feeling someone else's body thrum against his, having Remi's pulse beat against his lips with sweet blood rushing into his throat; it was nothing he'd ever had and though he'd be horrified later, it was all he wanted in the moment. His fingers curling up into Remi's hair, he tried to calm down his breathing (it was hard to be stoic when he was feeling the first anything in so long, so much pleasure and overwhelming everything--) and drink the last of what he should, gently pulling away but not far, staying close for just a moment with his breath softly resting on the bite mark.

The shake in Sam's voice and the quiver in his fingers seemed to be a thing of the past as the hold the ascended had on his jaw increased. Remi could feel as well as hear the hum and for a moment Remi's state of pleasure and confusion was so great that the noise might have come from anyone or anywhere at all. He'd forgotten entirely what was happening and could feel only his heart beating wildly in his chest (no doubt trying to make up for the drop in his blood pressure), and the flush of his cheeks as they grew hot with Sam's presence. The alchemist's mind was a pulsing whirlwind of vagueness, feeling only the incredible rapture of his senses and the places where Sam was touching him. Indeed as the man's hand found its way against Remi's thigh the alchemist's body responded without direction, moving into the contact as his own hold of the man's hip increased hungrily. As Sam's fingers found their way into his curls the alchemist's eyes closed and he found himself leaning forward and down, allowing whatever purchase the ascended might need or want over him. His other hand had at some point made its way to Sam's other hip and lower back, pulling him closer until— —the sensation stopped immediately, but that didn't mean the alchemist ceased to feel the way his heart was frenetically beating or how his chest was rising in falling with the shaky sips of air he'd been taking. As if a switch had been flipped, the alchemist could suddenly hear how loud he'd been breathing, and all at once he gasped in a breath and held it, incredibly aware of the fact that his arms were around Sam, that the man's hand was tangled in his hair, that his back was against the rock wall, and that Sam hadn't pulled away. Breathlessly, Remi's breath hitched as his eyes blinked slowly in the darkness, really only able to see the soft coppery outline of Sam's head. "Are you...is that enough?" He all but gasped, a latent shiver of pleasure running down his spine. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time This was all a lot. Sam's whole body shook, his mind clear in a way it hadn't been in a long time despite the strangeness of drinking blood from a person - it was different, definitely, from the shrine. It felt not the same thing, something lesser in substance but in context? He took in Remi's hands on his back, the tangles of hair in his hand. It felt somehow like a rope was wound between them suddenly, and if he made the wrong move too quickly it would snap and hurt them both. His fingers slowly detangled from Remi's hair but traced against his neck as he took his hand back. "Y-Yes. I...I...I feel um. Much better. Far better. Thank you." He kept his hand on Remi's thigh for now, his other coming to rest on his shoulder. Maybe it was a desire to feel some comfort in the dark but...Sam looked down. Remi was definitely interested in this the same way he was. To feel something, anything was exhilarating - he didn't want to give it up. Desperately he tried to think of something to say so Remi wouldn't pull away. "...W-was that alright for you?" He asked, despite the fact it was very obvious it had been.

Remi's luxuriously soft curls invited more than the occasional ruffle from those he considered friends, but Sam certainly wasn't that, and as the ascended slowly retrieved his fingers, Remi shivered at the touch of them on the back of his neck before Sam's hand was withdrawn completely. The alchemist had been intoxicated in a number of ways before, but never quite like this. After all, alcohol, drugs, and sex usually had a build up that you were aware of, and a denouement you could anticipate. This though had come on suddenly and unexpectedly, and Remi was just as surprised as Sam likely was to feel his arousal contained behind the fabric of his pants. Confusing thoughts of Loren filtered through his mind. Being intimate with other men was such a new development for the alchemist and after what had happened with Loren Remi hadn't thought he'd be so inclined to be like this with anyone else. And yet what he'd just experienced—and the evidence of his body—suggested otherwise. "That is good." Remi replied immediately, his voice soft as if still not daring to breathe. He didn't quite feel trapped for he was considerably larger than the man before him, and yet with his back against the wall of the cave and with Sam's hand still gently resting on his thigh the alchemist felt helpless to move. ...W-was that alright for you? Remi's eyebrows shot up in the darkness and an encumbered and sheepish smile crossed his lips as he removed one hand tentatively from Sam's hip to place it where the man's lips (and teeth) had just been. "It felt—" He began, heat creeping into his face as it flushed coral in the darkness. "I—" Remi couldn't ask for more surely? But after all that had been plaguing him lately, even in this inhospitable place trapped in a cave as they were, it had felt good to just feel good. Remi's chest tightened and the hand still on Sam's hip flinched slightly, his thumb gently sliding against the hollow of his hip bone. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time Sam was statue-still as he waited for Remi to speak, watching with an intense interest the hand raising up to touch the point where they had connected. The stammering speech was understandable if Remi was feeling anything like he was, the things brewing in his chest hard to put into any kind of words. A thumb stroking on his hips shocked him into moving. At first he just flinched, but then before he knew it he was crashing forward, kissing Remi with clumsy lips and accidental knocks of his teeth. After only a second he collected himself, realised what the hell he was doing and pulled back, panting with his hand resting on Remi's shoulder. "I-I'm. I'm sorry. I just--it was just--the mood--I just--I thought--" He swallowed anxiously, struggling to come up for a reason other than that it had felt right in the moment. "I--this isn't--what this was about. It-It's not a good time, but..." As he spoke he realised how inappropriate this was - they were possibly about to die in a cave, he had only met Remi once before, he had taken advantage of a very vulnerable moment. "I'm sorry."

Remi couldn't have said with any certainty whether or not he'd have avoided the ascended if he could have fully seen what was happening; it would have been a lie to say that it was the fault of the lighting though. For with Sam pressed against him Remi's body easily felt what was coming. For a moment the alchemist was stunned into stillness as he felt the not-quite-warm-enough lips against his as well as Sam's teeth which clinked against his own in the mans haste. Pulling back too quickly for Remi to have done much other than inhale a breath of surprise, once again the alchemist was left reeling with a surprised influx of sensations due to Sam's touch. Remi almost didn't hear Sam's apology or justification. Instead he felt some sort of sense of betrayal of Loren that swamped his mind with a sickly sort of cold and wet and dark. But no, they weren't together as the Launceleyn had made quite clear, and Loren was with someone else, and Remi was here going to die in a cave, and just because the alchemist would always love the librarian that didn't mean he would just wait around forever? And whatever Sam had done had made Remi want him and— —the hand that had been pressed against the side of his neck now snaked forward to curl through Sam's hair and around the back of his head drawing him close again. Without giving himself the opportunity to think, or be drowned in guilt, Remi's lips pressed forward. Instead of the haste with which Sam had kissed him, Remi's lips were confident but gentle. The hand against the man's hip curled almost possessively drawing him forward and against the alchemist if he would be moved while his tongue made inquiring expeditions passed Sam's lips. After a moment Remi allowed himself to pull away, breathing ragged, eyes cast down and his nose only fractions of an inch away from Sam's as his entire head bowed forward slightly. His lips moved with unspoken words as Remi's lashes fluttered slightly with uncertainty. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time Sam expected Remi to be offended after what he had done, to smack him away and curse him out - when he was kissed back, softer this time with a hand in his hair, Sam was so surprised he did nothing for a moment. There was only so long he could stay still with lips on his though; he stumbled his way through kissing back, inexperience showing but desperation to be touched winning out over it. He willing let his hips be moved, his arms snaking up around Remi's neck and resting on his shoulders. It was all new, the feeling of being wanted in this way - Sam felt as if his skin were almost on fire where Remi held him. Holding back a whine when Remi pulled away, he shakily moved a hand to rest on Remi's cheek. Cutting through the tense sound of breathing and silence further on in the cave, he took a gulp of air and asked: "...What...are we doing?"

Kissing Sam was unlike anyone else Remi had ever kissed. Not that such a list would have been terribly long, but it was long enough for the alchemist's scientific mind to have made a few conclusions. One of which were that lips and the air that normally came out of them were warm. Hot even in cases such as this, despite the cold air around them. But Sam's hovered precisely around room temperature as did his body. And not that Remi expected Sam to necessarily feel the same, but there was a decided lack of him against the alchemist that could not be said of Remi. In that, Remi found himself tangled between wanting to let the man step away, and wanting to somehow force life and heat into him. As Sam's hand found his cheek Remi's eyelashes fluttered, his eyes straining to see in the dark. "...What...are we doing?" What indeed. The alchemist crumpled slightly against the wall, resisting the urge to shiver as his shoulders sagged slightly. "When you...drank, it felt..." Remi swallowed almost nervously, running a hand distractedly through his curls. "...indescribable. I thought it would hurt but instead—" The alchemist's eyes closed as his mind chased the memory, a flickering smile playing on his lips as his brows furrowed together slightly. Opening his eyes he gazed into the inky blues of Sam's gaze made so much darker by the lack of lighting in the cave. "—it felt better than I can describe." He admitted softly, confusion and unease darkening his pale eyes. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time Sam instinctively moved away a little as Remi slumped against the wall, concern knitting his features; but he didn't move away enough to not be touching him. Hearing that Remi was in fact not hurt by his teeth but enjoyed it a lot, enough for it to be indescribable...it went against all presuppositions Sam had about the process, all the ideas he'd made about it being something terrible, something deserving of disgust and isolation. He stared at the other man, eyes flicking up and down as he tried to work out what to do with this information. "...I..I can't do it again. Not right now. It-it might hurt you." He said, more for something to say than for any kind of need - they both knew it wasn't feasible for Sam to take even more blood. He kept his hand on Remi, sliding it down from his shoulder to just above his chest. "I've never...d-done anything like that. I. Um. Do..you....want...to...?"

Remi was shocked by the sudden plummeting feeling of disappointment that coursed through him as Sam declined. Or at least sounded as though he was declining. Without knowing much about the man it was hard for the alchemist to discern what was his normal state of uncertainty and what was genuine ambivalence. That, and without any prior situations that even came close to this, Remi truly didn't know what his limits were in terms of blood capacity he could lose. Or Sam's. As the man's hand slid down from his shoulder, Remi's eyes raised slightly, fluttering against a non-existent breeze. He hadn't felt anything in so long... —And Loren was... —and Ianto was..? —but Sam was here... "Do it again.." Remi whispered, voice low and husky. Pleading. Desperate. His fingers rifled passed Sam's jacket and shirt to the skin of his lower back, pulling him closer.   "Please—" REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time Sam watched Remi carefully, not sure where exactly they stood - then Remi's hands entered his shirt, the touch on his skin still thrilling despite his lack of feeling. Maybe his body couldn't process the touch as exciting anymore but he could certainly emotionally feel it. To feel wanted, desired...it was more than he had ever dreamed. He tried to imagine it was him Remi wanted and not his ability, not his teeth. "I...suppose I could again, just for a moment..." He mumbled, wanting to please. "But this has to be it." He leaned in, fingers tracing Remi's jaw again. There was a moment of pause when he tried to think about which side of his neck to go for, to create a new wound on the other or reopen the first. He settled on the same side as before, thinking it would be less scars for Remi to explain away later. "L-let me know if you feel weak or anything and I'll stop." He instructed, before going in to bite again, this time more confidently pressing his body against the other mans.

Once again Sam's fingers on his skin suggested a sense of confidence that the red-head did not seem capable of. As he studied Remi's face—or more accurately his neck—the alchemist could feel his heartbeat racing as his mind tried to scream over the fog that the ascended had placed him in, trying to claw its way back to rationality. This wasn't him, and he didn't even know Sam, and he wasn't normally— —but then Sam was saying something and the instant his lips pressed against Remi's neck all conscious thought immediately dissolved. That really should have been Remi's first clue that what was occurring was not simply feelings between the two men, but of course it wasn't. The euphoria that overloaded Remi's senses was a welcomed balm to the man's battered and broken mind. All that had happened to him lately hadn't dissolved his sense of right and wrong, but somehow this had. This cave, this darkness, this man and his touch that was like a panacea to all that plagued the poor alchemist. He was helpless to resist it, and so he didn't. His hands working all on their own, they roamed the contours of Sam's back, pulling him closer to try and eliminate all the space between their two bodies. His lips parted and again he moaned, although this time the sound was less tentative and more frantic. Turning his face towards the ascended to graze his cheek against the side of the man's head—for in this position it was all he could do, really—Remi could feel his eyes rolling back and upwards into his skull as the sensation swamped any coherent thought. His warm and strong hands moved and caressed and pulled at the man before him, wanting more. Needing more. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times

sam So please please please, let me get what I want this time As before, Remi's blood tasted too good. Sam could happily drink nothing but this for the rest of his life, if it were not for the unfortunate source. When he took fluid from the Gods it was more efficient, yes, but there was something about taking it from a living, breathing person...Remi's breath and desperate hands most definitely helping the experience. He moaned himself at the ecstasy that had apparently always been so easy to come by, beginning to shrug out of his shirt - he didn't feel the cold anyway and he thought it would be easier than Remi pushing his way into it constantly. Once that was done he leaned in close, slowing his sucking so he could continue longer as he gingerly moved to unfasten Remi's shirt and lay his hands on the mans bare chest. Taking just a little every so often but staying connected felt strangely intimate, fond, like something one would do with a lover. Sam's fingertips beat out a little pattern onto Remi's chest, but he didn't move to touch anything else, not wanting to break the eggshell-fragile atmosphere in the cave.

As Sam began to move against him, brilliant fear and desperation flashed like a siren in his mind and reflexively the alchemist's hands held him as a growl of resistance rumbled low in his throat. When it became clear what he was doing however, Remi's hands relaxed just long enough for the offending shirt to be removed. Raking his fingertips up Sam's back, for a moment Remi's mind wondered where the scars were? Where were the—it isn't Loren his mind warned—and something in the pit of Remi's stomach and insidiously lingering in the back of his mind curled and blackened. Shivering against the chill of the air as Sam's wandering fingers released the top few buttons of his shirt, one of Remi's hands rose to tangle into the ascended's coppery hair, guiding and supporting it, as he leaned away from the wall. Pivoting he moved to pin the book-maker against the cave wall where he'd just been. Pulling away the alchemist rather thoughtless shrugged out of his own shirt revealing a canvas of skin with the still healing claw marks of a large creature on his sides. The movement would have forced Sam's lips off of his neck and Remi suddenly became aware of the pounding of blood in his ears as the crescendo of pleasure came to an abrupt stop. Lips parted slightly as his chest heaved rapidly, he wrapped an arm back around Sam's waist while the other braced itself over the man's head on the cold cave wall, his fingers making and releasing a fist. Intimacy was certainly one word to describe it. After all, he was pressed shirtless against Sam, an arm wrapped around him and the taste of him still on his lips. While the same could be said for Sam too of course, it was like they'd skipped a step. Even here now, fractions of an inch away from his lips, and Remi felt at odds with the haste his mind was calling for, and the flames of desire that the ascended's bite had constantly been stoking. "Don't stop." Remi whispered, unsure if the words were a permission or a command. REMI Traded my soul to free my mind, "can I go back to being blind?" I ask myself one too many times