sing to me, i am not doing well

KIADA

burn it into my collar, hollowed onto your wrist

There is a sweetness that encompasses everything – not just the kiss and the warmth that settles within her at the mere idea of all the love between them, but with the icing as well. And she hums lightly into the kiss as if she might be able to convey just how much she does love him, even in this dreamscape, this world that Chulane’s mind had created, where she could be herself, wreathed and bathed in flames as she had once been.

But then, something changes, and Chulane’s head buries into her neck, and she wraps her arms and flames around him and keeps him close – fingers finding the nape of his neck and twisting the hair there, her cheek resting along the top of his chin. “Don’t be sorry.” She murmurs softly, gently, keeping him held close as the icing and the cinnamon rolls move to the bedside table. “I tried very hard to make it back to you.” She whispers, pressing her lips to the crown of his head, holdinghim tight as if she might be able to piece him back together in this dream.

heaven knows i don't follow, but i believe in this

CHULANE

blending into the darkness, & it gets harder to see

Gods, but he loved her so much, and he wasn't ready to let go of her, even if this was a dream, even if it was all in his head. He wanted it to be real, to be true, for it to be her, her soul, her actual self here. Hadn't he read accounts of interactions with Ludo (or was it Mort?) bringing forth tangible memories at shrines?

Had he gone to a shrine? Was this just a memory brought about by a deity?

"I love you," he said it again, pulling her closer to him, hearing her words and letting a sob rattle through him. And he let more time pass, and in the dreamscape he composed himself again, and was better able to re-engage with her.

"I know you tried," he said softly, lifting his head to press a kiss to her temple, before a strange shot of euphoria and amusement ran through him - and it danced along the attuned bond to her too, that which he'd not mastered yet outside of the dreamworld was seemingly easy here and now, in a world of flames and love.

"There's icing everywhere," he observed, amused by it, and utterly unable to resist leaning in for another kiss on her lips, hands roaming down her back, fingers dancing through the flames of her spine as he gave in to the dream, willing to put off the devastation of waking up just a bit longer.

try to stand & unravel what a man's gotta be

KIADA

burn it into my collar, hollowed onto your wrist

“I love you too.” It’s a breathless whisper as she’s tugged back into him, letting him sob and cry as much as he liked – it didn’t matter in this dreamscape they find themselves in. They’re there together, as they should have been all along, and there’s nothing that would stop Kiada from wanting to remain however long it took.

There’s a softer, apologetic smile that crosses her face as he agrees that she tried, her hand lifting to brush rogue curls from his face, shifting to his cheeks to wipe away the tears before he’s pressing a kiss to her temple. And she feels the euphoria and amusement that dances along the bond, the flames along her back flickering in surprise and soon enough begins to dance with the feeling and sensation.

Her arms then wrap around his neck, keeping him close as she perches in his lap, pressing her lips to his as he dives in for another kiss, amusement flickering back toward him through the bond. It’s truly a mess, isn’t it? She hums to him, not quite letting go of the kiss to reply. No, she can do it this way, and if it meant she had a few more moments in this she chooses not to part to offer a simple retort.

heaven knows i don't follow, but i believe in this

CHULANE

blending into the darkness, & it gets harder to see

Love, he relished the word as it fell from her lips, wanting to hold onto it, to cling to it forever, to listen to it on repeat. He'd never tire from hearing it, and would've worked forevermore to prove himself worthy of her feeling it, saying it, over and over again had time unfolded differently. But he'd take what he could - he'd wake from this remembering how the words sounded on her lips, how she looked when she said them, how genuine and real it all sounded and felt.

He lets her stroke his hair, and wipe the tears that inevitably fall, leaning into her touch, craving it to linger longer, but also satisfied when the flames danced along her spine and the moment moved to other things.

'A delightfully sweet mess,' he quips back, leaning into the kiss, much preferring this way of communication, where he can feel her, and she him. Hands roamed down her back, exploring the curves of her waist and hips, and eventually he did have to come up for air - even in dreams she made him breathless. The attuned bond was an open highway of emotion, a window to the truth that was him, and everything he was feeling.

The grief was there, but it was overshadowed by an overwhelming love, an affection he'd not felt so deeply for another soul before, shared with her, as they had so many times before. And as the moment stretched on, infinitely short and infinitely long in this curious dreamscape, forgiveness also rose up, acceptance, and an undeniable sense that he would be alright - that he would be able to come out of this, even if it hurt along the way.

He kissed her again.

try to stand & unravel what a man's gotta be

KIADA

burn it into my collar, hollowed onto your wrist

The best part? It can be cleaned up in an instant. Just the wave of a hand could clean it up, but neither of them do it – too engrossed in the feeling of normalcy despite everything being anything but. She practically purrs as his hands run along her skin, the flames parting along her spine, feeling almost as if they were little breaths of air soft and sweet blown against his hand with every cross.

And she shares her feelings with him too – the apologies, of having gone too soon and not going to Torchline with him. The sorrow of a future lost without him, on being on the other side of it after she’d become so used to being the one everyone left. And now it was she, the one who was gone and everyone else left to pick up the pieces.

She breaks the kiss, to bury her face into his neck and press herself against him, arms tight around his neck as she tries to focus on simply enjoying the moment and letting the relief spread through her that he’d be okay. Not perfect, not whole. But okay.

That’s really all she could ask for.

heaven knows i don't follow, but i believe in this

CHULANE

blending into the darkness, & it gets harder to see

'Ahh but where's the fun in that?' Waving a hand and letting the dreamscape resolve itself would be too easy, removing the element of fun that their relationship always had. Endless teasing and much laughter had always existed between them - somehow the icing represented all that and more in this world that would dissolve whenever he next woke up.

And he would wake up, and he would hurt. Maybe he wouldn't remember it all. Maybe he would at least remember the feelings he processed in this dreamscape - the grief, the sorrow, the forgiveness, the acceptance.

One thing he knew for sure: He would miss Kiada for the rest of his life, however long that may be.

But he would remember her as she was here - with flames dancing down her spine, with affection and love strong between them. He would behold her in all her beautiful, fiery glory here, burn her into his mind that he might cherish the scar it left, no matter how much it hurt as it healed over time. She would always be there for him, always with him - that much, he had to believe, had to have faith that it was true.

'I love you,' he said it again, because he couldn't ever say it enough. And he felt it too, and poured it into the bond, as he held her close, as the dream settled into a morning of blissful togetherness, that he'd never have again.

--

Fin <3

try to stand & unravel what a man's gotta be