(se) is the enemy what I'm meant to be?
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
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Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#15
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Clearing his throat, Loren tapped the unicorn horn, which now rested in front of Amalia on the desk. Cheeks heating even further, he curled the fingers of both hands around his cup of tea. Looking into the corner where the companions were presumably still catching up (Astra, at least, was munching on her hay and bleating at Jyoti in between mouthfuls), he bit his lip.

"Only what you're comfortable sharing. Actually, you only have to tell me about the best or the worst, not both. And if you're not comfortable sharing anything, that is totally fine. Really. We can forget this conversation ever happened." Still looking away from the baker, he sent a pulse of reassurance through their bond.

Then he tapped into something he'd never tried before, but was nagging at the back of his mind: he sent the image of soothing light washing over the Shield to Jyoti, wondering if he was delusional or his newfound awareness of the starwhale was all just in his head.
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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MP: 2580
#16
Amalia
the shield of safrin
Only what you're comfortable, which is something of a hilarious reassurance, given that they're both distinctly aware of how uncomfortable she is right now. "It's, um, it's okay. Just weird." But it isn't a bad discomfort, more an awkward, vaguely hysterical level of bashful that makes her want to both laugh and scream, her brain reflecting through shared experiences and orgasms despite any attempt to calm it. Some are reckless and wild, some slow and intimate. But best?

Well, actually there's an easy answer, and it's the easiest one to talk about. Objectively, from a purely physical standpoint, one of her sexual encounters stands head and shoulders above the rest. "Um... okay. Best was, I guess- Frey, actually." Still staring intently at her tea, the girl feels heat spreading down to her toes. "They- it was right after, um, or during, the Spire being breached. When everyone went to the top I went to ask the gods for advice. Frey answered."

Closing her eyes against the overwhelming discomfort, Amalia takes a breath. "They... showed me things. Different time. The Demon being made, and degrading, and dying. And they, uh, they were - we were - y'know. The whole time."
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#17
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Lips twitching, Loren let out a huff of laughter. Taking a spoonful of the stew, he chewed and swallowed even as he nodded at Amalia's words. "Why is talking about these things weird for you?" He cocked his head to the side, eyes studying her features even as his own cheeks warmed further.

Unable to prevent his jaw from dropping, he blinked at her as she recounted her experience with Frey. Snapping his mouth closed he grinned. "I can see how that would be your best." Laughing, he took a sip of tea. "So..what was it? The visions, the unexpected nature of it, or their presence? Or just all of it?"
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#18
Amalia
the shield of safrin
She doesn't look back at Loren, still blushing furiously as her narrow shoulders shrug. "I suppose... it's private. Intimate," she explains slowly, taking her time over the words. "I've never been... I'm not interested in, um, in sex, unless it's someone I trust. Love. It's... important, to me." The memory of her ill-fated tryst with Ronin flashes in her mind, and she cringes slightly, rubbing her fingers uneasily over her thighs.

Maybe that's why it's easier to speak to her experience with Frey - there had been no intimacy, no affection, just the exchange of physical pleasure. "I guess... physically, y'know, it was pretty good." She's still blushing, but she glances up at Loren now, a stangled smile over her lips. "More than that. I've never... there's nothing like it. But it wasn't... it was all physical. I wasn't emotionally, um, engaged. So I guess it was kind of the worst in that sense, too."
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#19
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Nodding at Amalia's explanation, Loren coughed and looked away from her. He took a sip from his tea. When a few long moments had passed with him trying to give her at least the illusion of privacy, he glanced back. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all that."

Taking a bite from his stew, he grinned. "I have something that will definitely take your mind off...you know. But fair warning, it'll also probably ruin your day." He fell silent, leaning back in his chair. Regarding her, he found his foot tapping. Frowning at his leg, he placed his palm flat on it and forced it to still.
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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#20
Amalia
the shield of safrin
Loren's quick shift in expression and topic almost makes her dizzy, Amalia blinking as the man leans back, his grin fading to a frown. Already unsettled from her own disclosure, the Shield rubs her thigh uneasily, offering a faltering, uncertain almost-smile. "I don't suppose it's a unicorn horn?" she wonders almost hopefully, remembering what it was she needed from him in the first place.

It almost certainly isn't if it's going to ruin her day. Just like Loren's, Amalia's smile falters and fades quickly. Slumping back in her chair, the anxious baker crosses her arms over her chest as though in defense of whatever it is Loren needs to say, her dark eyes fixed upon the summoner's.
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#21
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Loren frowned and glanced at the horn that he'd laid in front of Amalia. Shaking his head, he snorted before jerking his chin at it. "You mean like that one?" Letting out a huff of laughter, he took a sip from his tea. "I mean, I could try to procure another one but unicorns don't grow on trees, you know." He raised his eyebrows at her.

Meeting her gaze, he smiled. "You can relax, promise. It's something that's already happened and nothing that you need to worry about." Taking a deep breath, he blew it out as he looked away for a moment. "The Voice offered to Ascend me. Fully Ascend me.  I turned her down though."
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#22
Amalia
the shield of safrin
Amalia has the good grace to flush as he reminds her of the unicorn horn already on the counter, and long since forgotten as her mind has tried to compartmentalize and keep from imploding with awkward discomfort. "Right. Sorry. Thank you." Slender fingers grasp the horn, tucking it back into her bag. There's a measure of relief in her expression now that one part of her task is complete.

It is a relief which changes swiftly, from concern to alarm and flashing anger as Loren explains the offer that the Voice made. Straightening abruptly, Amalia grabs the arms of her chair with enough strength to make the wood creak, her body suddenly taut as a bow. "Why?" she asks, half wary growl, half hissed indignation, her dark eyes sharp as they dance over the Firebrand as though in search of signs of corruption that might disrupt his form.
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#23
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Loren's lips twitched up. Inclining his head to Amalia, he leaned back in his chair. "You're welcome." He took the last bite of his stew and the last sip of his tea.

Rising from his chair, he started to collect the various dishes. At her question, though, he stilled, though it was mostly her tone and expression. "You heard the part where I turned her down, right? And saw me shifting and using magic earlier?" He shook his head.

Setting down his burden, he crossed his arms. "Why what? Why did she offer? Why did I turn her down? Why did I tell you?" He shrugged and began picking up cups and bowls and utensils again, keeping his gaze away from the Shield.
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#24
Amalia
the shield of safrin
Biting down hard on her lip, Amalia nods her head tensely. Yes, she heard what he said, but it doesn't make her any less appalled by this revelation, that the Voice would try to steal away someone who she cares about. And more than that, an Attuned. Never before has she heard of one blessed by the Old Gods being corrupted.

If she can do that, well. The girl swallows her bile.

"All of it," Amalia clarifies, not rising from her seat, her dark eyes following the summoner as he clears the table and moves through his home. All of those questions and then more, that's what the Shield needs to know.
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#25
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Nodding at Amalia's words, Loren glanced towards the companions in the corner. Astra rose and headed towards the Shield, resting an antlered head in the woman's lap. The healer smiled at the luxere, then turned to pour himself another cup of tea. He glanced towards the demigoddess, raising an eyebrow in a silent inquiry if she wanted more as well.

Whatever her response, he'd return to his seat and curl his fingers around the mug again. "I told you because we're friends, and I thought you should know." Pausing, his eyes searched her features. "I turned her down because all she was really offering was for her, and her alone, to accept me, and I'm not fool enough not to see the strings attached to that particular bargain. I've been under a curse before. Never again." His grip tightened until his knuckles were white.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to relax. Sipping, he let the liquid sliding down his throat bring him back to his center as the warmth pooled in his stomach. "As for her, I can only tell you what she told me. That she saw us as kindred spirits, that I was someone people only saw the bad in and none of the good. That she saw me searching for a place to belong and was willing to offer me one. That she could give me the power I needed to protect myself from those who'd harm me." He shrugged, staring into his tea.
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
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Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#26
Amalia
the shield of safrin
Amalia's arms rise up immediately to accept Astra into her lap, fingers coiling behind the luxere's ears, automatically assuming the position of scritches. It's soothing, having the bright young doe there, and helps to calm some of her nerves. So too does Jyoti, who croons a starlit note before settling onto Amalia's shoulder, watching Loren with one wide eye.

The explanation is met with thoughtful silence, though a pulse of empathy pushes through at the mention of being cursed. Of being trapped under someone else's power... and that's what the Voice offers, after all. "Sam tried to leave her," Amalia murmurs, looking back down at her new cup of tea. "It nearly killed him. That isn't freedom, or love."

The crease between her brows deepens further as Loren continues on. Shaking her head, Amalia gives a quiet, tired sigh. "She preys on people who feel lost. Who are hurt." Glancing up at Loren again, the girl gives a sad, small smile. "I'm glad you're strong enough to have said no. I hope you know you're not alone."

Slumping back into her chair, Amalia releases another heavy breath, weariness suddenly tugging at her bones. It's been a long day, a long season, a long year. With a last scratch to Astra, the Shield releases the luxere to rub her hand over her neck. "Sorry, I'm... kind of exhausted. I need to figure out where to stay tonight. Any chance you have room for one more?"
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together
the Firebrand
Headmaster / Grand Healer

Age: 29 | Height: 5' 11' | Race: Attuned x Abandoned | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Halo
Level: 11 - Strg: 32 - Dext: 33 - Endr: 35 - Luck: 39 - Int:
ASTRA - Mythical - Luxere
Played by: Crooked Offline
Change author:
Posts: 5,165 | Total: 9,913
MP: 3415
#27
They say blood makes you related but
loyalty makes you family
Nodding at Amalia's comment about Sam and the Voice, Loren cleared his throat. "I know." Looking down at his lap, he fiddled with the hem of his shirt. "How are things. Between you and Sam, I mean." He kept his gaze trained downwards.

Laughing a little at her compliments and reassurance, he shrugged. "Seems like I've been saying no to things most of my life." Finally, he glanced up, seeking out her gaze. He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I appreciate you saying that, and don't take this the wrong way but...I kind of am. Alone I mean. It's okay though, I'm getting used to it." Laughing, he ran a hand through his hair.

Nodding, he started collecting the dishes and putting them in a small sink in the corner. "You can stay here or my room at the Kraai. I can stay with you or crash whichever place you don't choose if you'd prefer to be alone." He started washing the dirty bowls and mugs as he waited for her response.
LOREN
Amalia Chandrakant
the Archangel
Baker

Age: 29 | Height: 5'6 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Stormbreak
Level: 5 - Strg: 49 - Dext: 45 - Endr: 52 - Luck: 49 - Int:
JYOTI - Mythical - Starwhale (Humpback)
Played by: shark Offline
Change author:
Posts: 3,098 | Total: 4,577
MP: 2580
#28
Amalia
the archangel
"Not good." Amalia's voice is terse and pained, but she says nothing else. Her last encounter with Sam had been strained to say the least, with the girl catching her brother drenched in a dead man's blood. But none of that is something she wants to talk about now, and so she simply shakes her head, closing the topic.

As for having to say no, for being alone, Amalia can relate to that. Smiling sadly into her teacup, the Shield sighs a quiet breath. "When you figure out how, let me know," she remarks on the idea of getting used to it, loneliness an ache that never leaves her own heart.

Still, maybe they can both be a little less alone, at least for tonight. "We can stay together," she suggests, shrugging with a wry laugh. "I've been staying in a crowded house.... it's strange to have quiet, these days." Rising up, she begins to aid in the cleanup process, doing what she can to show her gratitude and quiet support of her friend.

{fin!}
she's just like the weather
can't hold her together


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