Starting Over

Caisides smile grew more genuine when he saw how pleased his offer of help had made the silver haired man. It had never been in his personality to wallow in things, He had had his moment, now it was time for some kind of action. Luckily for him, his new companion offered a solution that had Caiside intrigued. Being a part of something devoted to knowledge sounded almost perfect.

”I think I would enjoy something like that. I have been a part of many things in the past, but never a group dedicated to knowledge.” Having a focus, and like minded people to work with would keep him happy. Experience had him wary of joining something without details, or knowledge of how this would affect other alliances. Of course he liked the lore keeper, and appreciated his kindness and offer, but that wasn’t quite the same as trust. “Perhaps we could make introductions first? I am used to working alone, in my own way. I wouldn’t want to be an intrusion instead of an asset.” The words were close enough to truth that it was easy to say, an apologetic smile flitting across Caisides face in accompaniment.

It felt awkward to leave it there, so Caiside continued after a beat of silence. ”I think I should get settled in somewhat as well. Perhaps speak with that master you mentioned, and get some simpler work done first.” Again, the words were mostly truth, close enough this time that Caiside convinced himself. Working with his hands and not his head could be for the best, considering the circumstances. It was easy for a man to get obsessed with the impossible that way.

Jigano's eyes brightened and his smile relaxed at hearing that Caiside was interested. A thread of relief relaxed inside of him and for a moment he hoped-- Ah, but of course, the man would want to take it slow. The bard's smile turned a little lopsided and he nodded agreement at the wisdom of the stranger's hesitance. It wasn't an outright rejection though, and perhaps once he met Isla and Sam he'd come around?

"No such group has existed here before, that I can find," Jigano explained. "But, on my world, I had heard rumors of such, based far to the south. It seemed a noble cause. I am used to working on my own, but having others with different strengths and specialties, easy to access when questions arise, well... it seemed an idea with pursuing. I'm only now in the process of trying to set it up, and we're still learning as we go - which, I suppose, is the goal." He chuckled at his impromptu joke, but as Caiside continued the humor fell away and his smile lost some of its luster.

Ahhh... it was a rejection then, though at least a soft one. That brought the total of those he had asked to five... more than half of whom had refused him. His was not so glamorous a group as the Bounty Hunters, nor as hedonistically easy as Bastien's Church. It was no wonder people shied away and yet... as competent, curious and noble as the stranger had seemed, still, he had hoped...

Burying his disappointment, he sipped his tea and nodded congenially. "Yes, I can take you to meet him and see if you can work together. He is... a brusque man. Set in his ways. But despite his somewhat, ah, raw manners his skill at fine manipulation of metal is incredible." He tilted his head, eyes crinkling ruefully.

"Settling into a home here might be less easy in the winter... many of the buildings are damaged or ruined in some way. The good ones have largely been claimed, so fixing one up to be habitable in the snow may not be the easiest task, but I'll offer what help I can." Given how little aid he had found on his arrival, he couldn't bring himself to leave Caiside up the same creek. Even if he wasn't as strong as so many others he knew, and his help might not amount to much.

Caiside cocked his head, his brows pinching together. It had not been his intention to upset or disappoint the other man, though he supposed it was inevitable. ”If this stays an open invitation, I would be happy to reconsider once I have my feet under me.” He could see himself taking up Jiganos offer, once he had more of an idea of the local politics. Not that Jigano seemed like the type of person who would be disliked at all, but he had to be careful about these things.

”I have quite a bit of experience dealing with brusque people, and I was quite skilled in my prime. I’m sure I’ll be able to charm him.” Caiside twirled one of the elaborate rings on his finger, looking off into the distance. ”Men like that usually have their work speak for them anyway. I know the type.”

The news that winter difficult to set up in wasn’t a surprise, but it was irritating. And still, the other man was nothing but generous. Caiside found himself actually speechless for a moment, never before had he had the pleasure to interact with someone so genuine. ”I would love your help, however you want to offer it. I’ll have to find a way to repay you soon, after all this.” His chin was resting on his hand again, a bright smile aimed at Jigano.

"Of course," Jigano spoke, keeping his voice light and cheerful, though careful now not to give in to optimism again. "It, and most groups here, I think, can be joined or left at any time as circumstances or interests change." And he would fight for his little guild to survive, even if it stayed just the three of them. Though he dared to hope that someday, perhaps, they might be more...

"It sounds like you and he might very well be a good match then." He wasn't satisfied yet - wouldn't be, until he saw if the two really could get along - but if it would give Caiside a local mentor and guide he could rely on regularly and the old man some help around his shop, Jigano dared to hope that it would work out well for both of them. "And his work is... a creation of beauty and spirit and skill, far beyond what his initial appearance might lead you to believe." It was clear the bard admired the man greatly, though he held no illusions about his manners in dealing with other people.

"My strengths, alas, do not lie in my muscles," Jigano warned ruefully, enjoying his tea and relaxing more into the conversation. "But I'm not so weak that I can't lift and carry a bit, and I might be able to find blueprints for or devise some simple tools to help us, if we can't borrow them from others. But repayment here is, as I said, a matter of barter and trade. A smith's skills are always in demand, though a friend's company is often just as welcome. And perhaps, once you are settled in, you may find your turn comes, to welcome a new arrival." Jigano hesitated, his smile fading to a more solemn expression as he inclined his head briefly. "Though I hope you have better luck in finding your way home again, sooner rather than later."

Caiside smiled, and finished off the last of his tea. Perhaps this place wouldn't be so bad, for the short term. He would have to buckle down and make some things he could trade with quickly though. Especially if the winters here were as bad as Jigano made them sound. Looking into a permanent place to stay would have to be top of his list, and perhaps he could try to coax one of the luxere to trust him. It shouldn't be too hard, Caiside had always been proud of his way with animals.

"I could only hope to be so gracious a host as you have been. If I had known there were people like you here, I would have stopped hiding in the forest much sooner." Caiside didn't necessarily see himself being the type to go out of his way to welcome someone new, not with how busy he planned to be. If the opportunity arose, he would be friendly, of course, but didn't plan on going out of his way for someone who couldn't help him.

"I won't need luck to find my way back home." Confidence dripped off Caiside's words, a self assured grin accompanying them. There had to be some kind of reason behind all this, all it would take to crack was time and effort. And if all else failed, he would throw himself to the mercy of the gods here, and hope they took enough pity on him to help. It wouldn't come to that point though, there was more than enough here for him to look into before he grew so desperate.

There were still questions buzzing around in Caisides mind, a few floating to the forefront of his mind as he looked around the teahouse again, eyes moving like he was searching for something. After a beat, he returned his gaze to the silver haired man across from him, and arranged his expression into one of curiosity. "You said before that you didn't want to return home, didn't you? What is so appealing about here as opposed to where you come from?"

"Your instincts weren't wrong," Jigano cautioned, though he was smiling at the compliment. "Caido is like any other world I have heard of. There are good people here, many better than I, but there are far worse, too. Two-legged predators as bad as anything you'll find outside the town." He tilted his head thoughtfully at Caiside, the comment reminding him of something he had taken weeks to learn, because no one had thought to tell him. "On your world, were there people - races - who were not human?"

Caiside's confidence bordered on arrogance, but Jigano simply poured them both another cup of tea from the pot and sipped the hot, fresh, aromatic drink with a slight smile. The other man didn't know or trust him enough to take his word for anything - which, really, was only wise. He would find out in his own way, just like every other outlander, how important a little luck could be in this place. Some lessons had to be learned the hard way for them to be learned at all.

The unexpectedly personal question raised a pale brow, but Jigano gave it due consideration, taking his time before replying. His gaze dropped to his cup, and the reflection of the dark liquid inside it, expression sobering. "My home? I haven't had a home for some years now. Most of my family and friends... died. A while ago. I have carried their memories with me, since, but I am a wanderer by nature. And there were no ties holding me to my world anymore. Coming here... shattered both curses and blessings. In many ways, it gave me a chance to start over. It hasn't been easy but... here, I have found a purpose again. And, perhaps, a measure of healing." Samuel, Isla, Edy, Vai, even Bastien and Remi... and Rory. He had been afraid of building friendships again, had only intended to be convivial and build networks he could use, but even scarred his heart was not so tough as that. Over the past few months people had threaded their way into his affections and worries again, and it was frightening how much he found he cared for some of them.

"And you?" he asked quietly, raising blue eyes to meet Caiside's gold. "What draws you back to your world so strongly that even the gods of this place could not keep you away from it?"

"There are many races on my home, spread wide across the world. Each is considered blessed in a different way, for the most part." Caiside wondered at the strange question, cocking his head as he tried to figure out what had prompted it. He wasn't opposed to talking about his home, or anything like that, in fact he felt the opposite about it, the more he got to speak about where he had come from the happier he would be. Unfortunately, that did not seem to be the case for his companion, who mulled over Caiside's question for some time before answering.

A frown crossed Caiside's face, quickly and tactfully covered by him taking a long draw from his mug of tea. He was quiet for some time, carefully choosing his words. "I am sorry for your loss. Losing family is not easy, and being all thats left after them only makes it harder." He paused, letting the solemness sink in, then continued. "It is good that you have found solace in this place. Someone like you deserves it."

Caiside furrowed his brows, though he was less confused by Jigano's question now that he had heard some of his background. "Everything I ever worked for was left behind. My suffering, my joy, my power. All of it, gone. I still have so much to do." Surely, even though he was happy here, the silver haired man could understand how badly Caiside wanted to be home again. "And I have no magic here. I don't feel like a whole person without it, not after all that I went through. I... refuse to accept it."

"It is the same on my world," Jigano agreed with more than a little relief at finding someone else who would understand how strange Caido's more limited population could be. "But not so, here. I asked because I was reminded of two-legged predators... well. There are only three races, here. Perhaps four, if you count mages separately from normal humans. But... in a way 'human' is the default. Humans can choose to become 'Ascended' which are... on my world, I would say they are similar to 'vampires.' They have sharp teeth with which they can drink blood, and an aversion to sunlight. They also feel no pain, and heal with astonishing speed. But their primary mode of sustenance comes from their god, a being called simply "The Voice." They are people like any other, however... some good, some bad, most, I suppose, somewhere in the middle. But the ones who let go of their humanity can be dangerous, especially at night." Jigano delivered this information solemnly, and a little grimly.

Caiside's question was not an easy one, and it involved years' worth of complexities that Jigano had not shared with his closest friends on Caido, but honesty still came more easily to him than deception, and he gave his companion a sincere answer without going into unnecessarily painful details. The other man's courtesy was received with a nod of gratitude and a flicker of a wry smile as Jigano glanced up from his cup with a sigh of quiet regret. "You are kind to say so," he thanked Caiside, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the statement, but appreciating the sentiment behind it.

The lorekeeper nodded slowly as Caiside outlined his reasons. They were ones Jigano could understand, in some ways. Certainly the suffering and joy. He had abandoned his secular power long before he left his world, though, and had no wish to take the burden up again. "The loss of magic is frustrating," he agreed ruefully, with the usual twinge of frustration when he was reminded of it. "Many here have some measure of power over the elements. It is... difficult to see them and wonder 'why them, and not me?' but the transition to this world seems to take people strangely. Taking away, in some cases; gifting with a surfeit in others." He gave a little shake of his head before his customary wry smile returned and he nodded at Caiside "If you don't mind me asking, what shape did your magic take on your world?"

The creatures Jigano described were familiar to Caiside in some ways, and utterly alien sounding in others. “We has no such thing on my world, at least none I had ever heard of. There were cults in the east that drank blood to obtain half measures of power, and creatures in the north that hunted anything that dared to enter its territory in the shroud of night, but nothing that combined these things.” It was a strange thing for Caiside to try to wrap his head around. The fact that a world so sparse could contain something he had never heard of, even in myth, was impressive, and almost irritating. He didn’t want any reason to grow too interestesnin this place.

His face crumpled as Jigano explained that some people still had magic, in a way. He had never agreed more with a sentiment than the one the bard shared. Why them, and not me? He had made his name worth something, he had worked himself bloody and fought anything that for in his way however he had had to, and this is how he was repaid? Even the question about himself didn’t perk him up as much as it would usually, though his face did clear.

”I was a lord of fire, and rebirth. An avatar of forest fires. In my most divine form, I was a great stag, with smouldering antlers.” He reached up as he spoke, brushing the scars on his forehead when his horns had once sat proudly all the time, in all forms. ”I have lost my fire, but not all of my forms.” It wasn’t the smartest thing to do, sharing that with Jigano, who was a stranger, in a land who’s customs and prejudices he didn’t know, but some part  of Caiside still wanted to feel important, and impressive.’

Jigano nodded, paying curious attention to the way Caiside's world differed from Caido and his own. With his warning duly delivered, however, and no questions forthcoming on the Ascended, the conversation moved on.

If only it had been able to go to a happier place... but transitions rarely came without pain of some kind. Something they both had in common, it seemed, at the complex play of emotions across his companion's face at Jigano's words. When he answered, the bard hadn't known what to expect, but hearing about the fire, and then the divinity, soon had both pale brows arching towards his hairline.

"I think I have seen more people who can use fire than anything else," the lorekeeper recalled thoughtfully, remembering Remi's experiment against the barrier. "But a changer of forms... another of the races found here. They are called "Attuned" and most can change into at least one animal form. Sometimes more. They can communicate with one another telepathically when they are changed - whether all parties wish it or no," Jigano added wryly. "But, like the Ascended, they are not born as such, here. They are born human and must make a choice... but it is not seen as anything bad or unusual."

He tilted his head, still considering what Caiside had said of divinity. "I... do not know what to suggest about how to approach the gods here, in that case. If they will respect you for what you were on your world, or react with jealousy." Perhaps the man was lying to gain prestige or respect, but since his slate had been wiped clean when he came to Caido, Jigano saw no harm in treating his words as if they were truth. "I've only encountered one so far, named Ludo and he... it... is not a kind god." Jigano's lips tugged into a frown at the memory, shying away from the empty nothingness where his dreams had been. "Rather, a god of darkness and tricks and memory. Of the others... Frey is known for their preference for, ah, sexual bondage and curses, and Safrin... has a church or cult which seems to worship hedonism and an utter lack of inhibitions." His lips quirked again, wryly. "And then there's the goddess of the Ascended, the Voice, who was only recently awakened, but I know less of her." He gave a slight shrug and sipped at his tea, feeling a bit parched after all the talking he was doing.

”I think it would be easier to bear if I still had some... spark.” Caiside flicked his fingers to demonstrate the sentiment, frowning at his own hand when nothing happened. ”There is nothing. Not even a flicker in my chest. It’s all just... gone.” The last word came out as a frustrated sigh. This had already been a nightmare of a situation, and now, to hear that some others existed and still had their power was a kick in the gut. It wasn’t fair.

Learning that others could change their shapes as well didn’t help his melancholy, as interesting as it was. Shape changing was something only the gods, or those touched by their hands, could do in his realm. It had been one of his tokens of pride, the role that he had worked so hard to fill. ”I suppose it is at least lucky I will not be accosted for changing forms then.” He quipped, trying to make light of the situation.

At the mention of the gods, Caiside leaned forward, all previous grievances forgotten in the face of the topic. ”All I want is to return to my own realm. I am inconsequential.” The confidence hid the flicker of worry that sparked through him. He had never considered being poorly received. His mind worked overtime while Jigano explained the deities here, Caiside trying to glean every little detail from what the silver haired man said. “Is... the goddess of these ascended different than the rest?” The bard had separated her explanation from the others, and described her as recent. It seemed easiest to work backwards with his questions, and it wasn’t a bad question. If Caiside ever planned on appealing to the gods, he’d have to know what their dynamics were with each other. Staying far away from sensitive subject and pre existing rivalries made it easier to avoid missteps.

Jigano nodded sympathetically, knowing exactly what Caiside meant about the lack of 'spark.' "My first instinct when trouble strikes is to try and throw a spell... it's been difficult, trying to retrain years of muscle memory to reach for a sword instead." He grimaced, giving a light shake of his head. "I can fight with one, when I must, but I never put the time or energy into learning to be very good at it. I suppose in some ways I used my magic as a crutch, of sorts. But... it was what I was good at. A part of myself I never considered I might lose ... not permanently, at least." It was a depressing topic for both of them, certainly.

Though he had hoped to reassure his companion with how well the Attuned were received on Caido, he wasn't sure how relieved Caiside truly was, though he tried to put a good face on it. "No, not at all. Especially if your form somewhat resembles the luxere! Though as a stag you might have to be wary of hunters here. I'm guessing on your world your fiery antlers marked you as something normal hunters would avoid?"

Caiside's sudden interest in the gods had Jigano's brow rising, and his lips flickered briefly into a tight smile. "You might not be as inconsequential as you think, if you were brought here for a purpose," he cautioned. "Though if by accident... perhaps. We know so little, and the gods are not always forthcoming with answers. Indeed, only rarely," he added with a grimace. "They play their own games with us. But the Voice... it is hard to say. She was sleeping until recently... or perhaps locked away. She was only recently freed, so I don't know how powerful she truly is, but she can create an Ascended from a normal human. How she would feel about being approached by an Attuned..." The bard shrugged. "It's possible she won't respond at all. That's not uncommon. With any of them."

Caiside nodded in response to Jiganos assumption, a tight lipped smile on his face. ”My form was recognizable enough to most, and only a foolish man would attempt to harm such a creature as me. I have not had fear of hunters in some time. It will be..” a sigh escaped him, ”...humbling.” This was yet another little thing that he had lost, a measure of safety that was no longer guaranteed to him.

”Wht purpose could I have here? Especially as I am?” It didn’t make sense, but perhaps there was some thing he wasn’t seeing. These gods were strange to him, they had different rules and motives than what he knew. ”If there is a purpose, it would be the most sensible to reveal as quickly as possible, so the purpose can be filled. So surely, if I asked, I would receive an answer.” It made pure sense, but that didn’t necessarily mean that was how the gods here would think. Perhaps his presence here was some kind of game, a joke that grew funnier the longer it went on. Even that was slightly more comforting than being here randomly. If Caiside wanted to get anywhere at all, he’d have to speak to one of the gods directly. But...

“How would I go about communicating with one of them?” Caiside wasn’t confident that the silver haired man would answer him, considering how uncomfortable the topic seemed to make him. ”Specifically one of the ones likely to answer me.”

Jigano empathized with the man across from him, nodding - not quite agreement, but more acknowledgment. He had never known safety in his animal form. If anything, his white coat would have made him more valuable to hunters, so he had been careful to avoid being seen by people whenever possible when transformed. With more Attuned on Caido he had actually become a little less wary, but unless Caiside's form was as striking as his own, a large stag would be tempting to far too many people.

Caiside's question sounded rhetorical, so Jigano just sipped his tea and shrugged, knowing he would have felt similarly if he hadn't seen Caido as a second chance. "I have no reason to think you're wrong, but it's possible," he cautioned gently, "that they need a number of different people and different talents for what they have in mind, and that they haven't finished gathering them yet. I do not know if the gods on your world were more forthcoming about such things, but on mine they had to be more... circumspect in their dealings with mortals. There was a balance of power in the heavens and a limit as to how directly they could interfere with mortals, or what they could reveal without endangering their pacts and their own celestial games. It may be there is something similar here, and that is why we have so few answers." He shrugged again, smile wry.

The question wasn't unexpected, and the bard nodded thoughtfully. "There are shrines here, where you can pray. There is one in the Glade, in the Spire's shadow, ringed by white stones that glow at night. There is another in the Temple here, towards the back, past the Infirmary. I can show you were it is after this, if you'd like," he offered, though a bit hesitantly. "The Voice has also appeared at a special shrine in the Underground that was hidden away until recently." He nibbled his lip as he thought about the last question, and then gave another shrug, smile rueful. "In truth, I don't know how to make them more or less likely to answer. I have prayed with offerings and received only the barest acknowledgment, and no manifestation. I offered a song with no expectation at another time, and received..." he paused, expression tightening a little at the memory. "... Not, perhaps, the manifestation I would have chosen. Ludo, who plays games and makes trades of the intangible. Though I don't know that the others are much better, since I haven't spoken with them." He gave a little shake of his head, then looked at Caiside with searching blue eyes. "Does that help at all?"