From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
01-28-2021, 08:52 PM (This post was last modified: 01-31-2021, 12:21 AM by Adam.)
Adam
You took notes on what you had to do
To get the piece of the pie that belonged to you
Adam had not had much time to be married alive. In fact, he never had been - the proposal had been in the last remnants of their soul's consciousness and they had never officially tied the knot, only said they had. As such, he was having to adjust to the idea now, to a forever that wasn't mindless and soft but alive and real, with problems and thoughts and, most relevant right now, trauma.
Trauma he'd always drunk to get away from, memories that had been kicked to the side by sex and drugs and booze and the constant search for those three things. Without them, he was beginning to feel anxious, constantly on edge, looking for the point where it was going to break: his marriage, his new life, his persona. It was embarrassing to be a week into his new life and nearing a breakdown already, but beginning a new life cold turkey was a substantial change.
They'd agreed to go on a little date at the bar on the beach. It was nice there, always dusk; he had not considered until he'd gotten there what it'd be like to be surrounded by people drinking, revelling in their groups, having a good time, flirting with eyes that said someone was getting fucked later - it was like being surrounded with everything he couldn't have, even with Pet there. His leg had not stopped bouncing since he had sat down (with his water, ha) and his eyes darted about the place, a finger in his lips and nail being chewed.
He had brought a gift, because he'd heard that was what you did around this time of year, but hadn't found a good moment to give it yet, distracted and hardly paying attention anyway. His fingers tapped on the bag on his legs, Adam only occasionally glancing back to Pet.
You've been waiting for this ever since you were young
Be careful not to choke on your tongue
All things considered, Pet has settled back into the waking world easily. Perhaps it's made easier by the fact that this is the second time it's happened for him, death not sticking to him for one reason or another. Coming here, the Voice's intervention. Ascension seems to suit Pet, comfortable as one of his oversized sweaters. It helps that he'd not indulged in much when he could, that there was very little to miss, when compared to everything he had gained. He's happy to sit at the table with Adam, a drink that is more syrup than liquid in front of him, surrounded by other's revelling.
Even Peter isn't so dense as to not notice the tension surrounding Adam, the bouncing leg, the way his eyes dart around. He doesn't know what to do about it though, except to reach a hand out for Adam's, rough fingers squeezing tight and bright eyes waiting for the other man to look over to him. "Hey... Adam?" Pet cocks his head as the words leave him, his free hand retracting back into himself, tucked away into some hidden pocket, or fold of clothing.
You took notes on what you had to do
To get the piece of the pie that belonged to you
Adam couldn't help the sudden flinch at the touch, but quickly settled into it, lacing his fingers with Pet's and giving a weak smile over the table at his husband. "Hey. Sorry, I uh...I'm just..." He searched for the words, knowing he was acting odd but not really entirely knowing why in his own mind. "This is just, different, y'know? Being in a bar but not drinking or anything." Then again, he supposed for Pet that was probably pretty normal; his partner wasn't really one for getting wasted in the same way he was.
Letting out a shaky sigh, he shook his head and tried to make his smile more genuine, though it would pretty obvious it didn't reach his eyes. "Let's talk about something else. How're you doing? Do y'like Torchline? I think it's pretty here...reminds me of a port town from my old world."
Oh fucking damn it, why did he say that? Now Adam was suddenly infested with memories of that specific town, the many drugs and drinks he'd taken there, the night where he'd jumped backwards off the dock into the sea, the water spinning around his head- he squeezed his eyes tight shut then opened them again, trying to focus on Pet.
You've been waiting for this ever since you were young
Be careful not to choke on your tongue
While Adam flinching away from his touch doesn’t quite have the same reaction in Pet as it once would have, his hand still falls still, not tracing again until their fingers are entwined. A scarred thumb traces along some invisible line while worried blue eyes take in his husbands words, a deep fog of worry settling over Pet.
He’s just about to say they don’t have to be here, that they can go and find some other place to sit, some quieter cafe, or some lonely spot on the beach, when Adam changes the subject. Pet lets himself be swept along, unsure of what else he can do.
”I do like it here. The jungle is... neat. I’ve never seen so many trees before.” Theres a smile on Pet’s face while he speaks, though it’s mechanical, something to try and soothe the other. His voice is strange too, quicker than usual, but clearer for it, like he’s managed to trick his thought into cohesiveness, but he still has to stay a step ahead of them.
Adam’s eyes squeeze closed tightly, and Pet squirms while he has the moment, newly fanged teeth worrying dangerously at his lip. ”I uh... there was a big sea, by the uh, the city where I lived, but... they had big walls to keep anyone outside from seeing it.” It’s a relatively harmless memory, as far as his usually go, but he’s not used to sharing them in this kind of situation, not used to trying to help keep pieces together. ”I like it better here. Getting to... getting to see it with you.”
You took notes on what you had to do
To get the piece of the pie that belonged to you
Pet's hand on his is so horribly fond, so calming; Adam knew he was making this awkward, ruining what could be a perfectly nice sober night with a perfectly nice bite tumble where they didn't cum. He'd have to get used to it at some point, because there were plenty of other dry, bland nights coming up, for eternity. This thought swung around his head as he watched Pet speak, not really taking in any of the words he'd asked for.
He tuned in right at the end, where Pet said something about getting to see him and he automatically smiled, though it was more of a mechanical thing than anything else and definitely didn't reach his eyes. Adam tried to say something else, cook up something else in his head to distract them with, then remembered the gift on his lap; glad for it he picked it up and thrust the bag over the table towards Pet.
"I got you this. I uh, I noticed yours was looking a bit rough after the whole dying thing." Inside Pet would find a new scarf, clean and smelling of fresh wool, in a dark blue and purple mixed shade. Adam did watch him open it, though the whole time he was fiddling with the glass on the table, picking it up and putting it down over and over.
You've been waiting for this ever since you were young
Be careful not to choke on your tongue
He’s not helping. If Pet picks up on only one thing, it’s that, and it makes his chest seizure, his fingers tightening around Adam’s hand, even as his gaze drops back down to their drinks, his brows knit together. It’s a small mercy that he doesn’t get the chance to linger on it, to worry about how strange and ineffective his words on, because Adam shifts suddenly, pulls something up from his lap.
A bag, that Pet blinks at curiously, daring to glance up to try and read Adams’s expression. ”What is it?” He asks, as he’s reaching out to open it, pulling the bag open and revealing the new scarf. A delighted grin crosses his face, a brightness that only Adam can conjure flashing in his eyes.”Thank you.” The words are quiet, and trembling.
But then, it is Pet’s turn to drag them in a different direction, his hands pulling away from his husbands to search through various pockets. ”I um... I got you something too. Or, uh... I guess... I guess us.” it takes another moment of searching, but he finally withdraws a closed fist, holding it over Adams hand. When Pet drops the gift, Adam will feel a weighty ring drop into his hand, shiny gold and carved in the shape of a skull, or, at least the top half of one, two shining, heart shaped gems glittering in its eye sockets.
You took notes on what you had to do
To get the piece of the pie that belonged to you
Seeing a grin on Pet's face did brighten up Adam's own expression for a moment, his leg pausing in its constant bouncing as he smirked; he loved to see his husband happy. He knew just how much misery Pet had dealt with before they met, so any smiles he could coax out of him were always mood-boosters. Still, the moment passed and the sinking dread set back in, his heel tapping against the floor with a new fervour.
He glanced back to take what Pet handed out, Adam drawing it back to close to himself and inspecting it; for a second he wondered if the ring was broken, then he realised where the other half would have to be. What it was.
All of a sudden he was hit with joy, love and fear, horror. Dawning dread anew as the commitment and it's meanings sunk back in, along with the commitment to the Voice. "Wow, um- it's...it's really nice, babe. Thanks." Adam tried to smile, but he could feel (mortifyingly) tears in his eyes and knew it wouldn't look right. The room seemed to be shrinking, the voices in the crowds around them getting louder and louder, and suddenly he just needed to leave -- "Hey, I'm just gonna...uh, take a leak, or something-" Adam muttered, absolutely forgetting that was no longer a concern for his body, and stood up, rushing to the door and outside, sinking against the wall once he was at a suitably stranded corner.
You've been waiting for this ever since you were young
Be careful not to choke on your tongue
For a moment, it seems like everything is perfect. Adam stares at the gift, the ring, and Pet feels something that might be pride well up on him. For once, he’d done the right thing, found something meaningful and warm and good.
And then Adam speaks, and it all spirals away, shatters into a yawning dread and panic. A pit that deepens when Pet sees tears glittering in his husbands eyes. At once, he shrinks back, afraid, despite himself, not of Adam, but of the repercussions of this. What had he done?
All he does is nod mutely as Adam stands, mutters out some excuse and steps away, pushing through the crowd and vanishing out the door. It’s only then that Pet realizes what’s wrong with the excuse, only then that he realizes Adam has actually left. The person he’d been before would have accepted it, resigned himself to it, but some part of him had grown stronger, tempered by love and concern and tenderness, and it forced Pet to his feet, forced him to push awkwardly through the crowd of the bar and out the door.
It takes longer than he wants to admit to find his husband, crouched down in a lonely, stinking corner, a place that Pet joins as soon as he’s close. ”I...” He tries to start, not sure where to go from there, not sure what to say. ”I’m sorry.” A hand reaches out to try and grab one of Adams, scarred fingers trembling like a leaf. ”I-I didn’t... didn’t mean...”
You took notes on what you had to do
To get the piece of the pie that belonged to you
The ground beneath him was probably cold, but Adam couldn't feel it; he reached down to pick up some of the dirt and crumble it in his fingers, the brittle and frozen earth turning to dust; he focused on that, on the temperature of it that he couldn't feel, in an attempt to turn away the roiling upset in his chest - it didn't work. With a sigh, he shook his head and sunk his face down to his knees, about to try and calm down his breathing first when suddenly he heard Pet speak.
(His husband had always been skilled at sneaking up on people).
Then the apology comes, and it made Adam feel like the lowest piece of shit to ever walk Caido. Immediately he shook his head and sat up, grabbed Pet's hand. "No, no no. You didn't do anything - fuck, the ring is great and I love it, babe. It's not you. Don't...you're great, and I should be better than this 'cos I know you've been hurt-" His hands rose up to his face then made shaky fists, stopping short of pulling at his hair. "I'm fucking this up. Already I'm fucking it up."
Head going back to rest against the wall, he tugged on Pet's hand. "..Just...just sit with me a sec? I'll...I'll be okay, I just have to...I dunno, get over it, I guess."
You've been waiting for this ever since you were young
Be careful not to choke on your tongue
Pet’s fingers still shake, even within the grip of Adam’s hand, but he tries to steady himself, tries to smile and listen to the words, shaking his head. ”You’re not... not fucking it up. It... everything is... it’s all still weird.” Coming back to life, getting used to their ascensions, all of it. As far as Pet was concerned, Adam was the only stable thing he had.
”Okay.” Despite everything, his worry and the twist of panic, Pet sits as close beside Adam as he can, trying to offer what little physical comfort he can. After a moment, a breath, he reaches into his pocket for the new scarf Adam had gifted him, winding it around the both of them.
He’ll sit as long as Adam needs, until his husband is ready to move again, to return to the bar or their temporary home or wherever he wants.
