From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Delicate fingers trace over the horrors of Aurelia's past, and she doesn't think little of this. But it's a strange sentiment, the one this tiny little gesture summons, and she doesn't know how to express it other than to press a soft, lasting kiss to the top of Maeve's head. Her arms wrap more snugly around her and she confirms easily, "I will, and so will you."
But she lessens her grip around Maeve when there's an obvious sort of tension still there, when she says it's stupid. Her gaze darkens with confusion but she's silent, allowing feelings to be expressed should they choose to be.
When they are, Aurelia's brows raise with surprise and even her eyes widen. The look softens at Maeve as she realizes that this means she's just already attached to her, so soon after meeting, and that's fine. Aurelia's not entirely sure if she feels so deeply about this yet, she feels like she could, certainly, but... there's also a deep-rooted uncertainty. She tries to push that away, though, pulling in a centering breath.
"You already have," she states quietly, about giving her something to remember her by. "It's not stupid. I understand, in a sense... I worry about losing people, too. But I think if they actively choose to forget you or leave you, then they probably weren't worth it to begin with," she shrugs, though she also knows it's not that easy.
She smirks and arches a brow down at Maeve then, "I'm not gonna just forget you, Mae. You must think I'm cruel. Huh?" It's mainly a tease.
It feels silly. To want to hold on so tightly. Except things have been hard. There was Locke leaving, being transported across the Wilds twice, and just everything. So much has happened since the beginning of the season and Maeve is already so tired. Aurelia makes it disappear for a bit and she just wants to linger in it. To stay wrapped up in the safety of her arms for a little bit longer.
Maeve accepts her gentle teasing with grace, huffing with a shake of her head as she cuddles closer because her skin is warm and she just wants to soak it in. "I don't think you're cruel. I told you it was stupid." She manages a small smile that's edging on embarrassed as she props her head on the pillow to gaze up at her with soft green eyes. Her tension is slowly easing out of her and she does her best to let it go.
"How long will you be gone? Where are you going?" She wants to talk about something else. Anything else. Maeve does want to know where Aurelia's travels will take her. What she's going to see out there on the water. She hasn't travelled out of Torchline until recently and she's still so curious as to what lies beyond their shores. Even if she's scared to venture out into the water herself.
03-29-2021, 01:50 AM (This post was last modified: 03-29-2021, 01:51 AM by Aurelia.)
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Aurelia follows Maeve's movements with lazy eyes as she props her head onto the pillow and actually looks up at her now. She'll find nothing but gentle understanding, and a small shake of disapproval at calling it stupid again. But Aurelia won't argue with her over it, and she's happy to oblige the change of subject if it will smooth things over.
"I'm not sure," she admits about how long they'll be gone, because she really doesn't know, "probably until Longheat, if I had to guess. But maybe we'll be back sooner than that. Maybe it'll take longer. From what I hear, it depends on what we run into, what the captain wants out of it, how the sea treats us," she sighs softly, "things like that."
As for where they're going, Aurelia has a better idea of that. "I think Jack said King's End. It's nearer to the Hollowed Grounds. I've seen it before, been in that... area of the Wilds. I met someone there, hopefully I'll be able to find her again," she raises her brows, "she's a witch. Or a demi-god, maybe; she was in the storms all those years, before the jungles opened up. Her name is Mildew, kind of a funny name but..." she nods slowly, recalling the meeting, "she told me my fortune." Maeve probably wants to hear all about that, Aurelia can guess, and she smiles softly before getting into it. "I asked her if I belong in Torchline. She said that I could, if I wanted to, and I'd see 'unimaginable horrors' here. But she said I can grow stronger from them, and maybe even do some good..." Aurelia's voice takes on a hopeful twinge before she clears her throat, "ultimately, she's the one who inspired me to speak to the Gods. Safrin, specifically, since it was her card I picked. I still can't believe she actually came and talked to me..." her hand reaches up to rub at her temple, but she still smiles.
Until Longheat. That was definitely some time to not see her, but she must let her go. It's not as if she's really hers to hold onto. Maeve hums softly, "It must be exciting. To travel like that." She murmurs, pressing another kiss to Aurelia's bare skin as she tangles her legs with the smuggler's, molding herself against her side.
A soft laugh escapes her at the name, "That is an odd name." She agrees easily, lips quirking into a small smile before she falls silent again, listening to everything she has to say with interest. Indeed, she does perk up at the mention of the fortune, sitting herself up slightly so she can gaze down at her as she speaks. Her eyes watch her lips form the words and she takes all of them in. "That really is definitely something." Maeve hums softly, but then her brows raise at the mention of Safrin.
She knows that Aurelia is Abandoned. That she isn't favored by the gods. Maeve licks her lips, head cocking to the side curiously, "You went to see Safrin? And she talked to you? What did she say?" She asks softly, curiosity coloring her words.
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
The conversation becomes much lighter, their tones shifting and bubbling with amusement and carefree thoughts tumble out. Aurelia is glad to be here, and she feels it wholeheartedly as Maeve smiles into her bare skin. She lets out a soft murmur of agreement at the 'odd' name, though offers no further judgement on it. A name is only a name, after all, and Aurelia will probably be called many things in her lifetime.
Maeve's surprise is expected. Everyone's surprise would be. They'd all told her she wouldn't be able to get the gods' attention, that she should keep trying even so. Here she is, and she's only tried once - and succeeded. Pride swells up a bit in her chest, that she persevered despite the discouraged feeling she had carried around for months...
"It took me a long time to work up the nerve..." Aurelia admits thoughtfully, "even before I knew I was Abandoned, and then after.. it seemed even more impossible." She tilts her head to rest her cheek against Maeve's dark crown of hair, breathing in her scent and relaxing into it.
"She said... a lot, but also not very much.. if that makes sense? She's beautiful, Maeve, and she... She knows so much more than we do. Like the world is in her pocket," it's almost an envious tone she adopts at the mention of that. "At first, she wasn't happy to see me. But then something... changed. I told her I needed her and..." Aurelia pauses consciously, aware of Maeve's opinions about the gods. She tries to be mindful of it, but also her promise to Safrin, as she wades through her next words. "I think she just wants us to need her... more than anything else. It's hard to describe, because it wasn't like she's lonely. She's a goddess. But.. when I was honest and clear about my intentions, what I... felt, she looked at me a little... different. I think I still have a ways to go before I'm in her good books, but... She's given me a chance, in spite of what I am in her eyes. I can't ever repay that enough."
Maeve's fingers trail until they find Aurelia's hand, lacing them together with a soft sigh as she stares up at the canopy. The smuggler rests her cheek against the top of her head, turning to breathe in her scent where she will surely pick up hints of lavender and vanilla. It's easy to let herself relax into this, listening to her new lover explain what exactly happened. It almost makes her feel silly. The fact that she hasn't gone to pray. Aurelia was an Abandoned and Safrin still spoke to her. It was a lot to wrap her head around.
She draws in a slow breath, pursing her lips in thought as she tries to find her words, "That's amazing, Aurelia. I'm happy for you. That it went so well." And she is. Whether Maeve was fond of the gods or not didn't matter here because Aurelia found something that she wanted. Something that made her happy. Still, the woman wasn't sure what she would do herself. If she would ever bother trying to pray again. If it was even worth the trouble. Still under the impression that there isn't much she can actually offer the gods, it still seems almost pointless to try, but the thought buzzes in her head anyway. "So did she give you a task? Some kind of quest?" Maeve asks softly, turning her head slightly as she can gaze up at the other woman.
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Aurelia can feel Maeve relaxing beside her, her hand welcoming the feeling of hers in it, letting her fingers tuck over her delicate knuckles with security. She's glad this isn't upsetting to hear for her, that she doesn't find herself bitter or upset over it in spite of her terrible feeling of being... abandoned, herself. She nods quietly with a small, reassuring smile. "It went... far better than I could've ever hoped."
She can see gears turning in Maeve's mind, and she wonders if she is thinking about going to the Gods herself. She opens her mouth to suggest it, to say that she wouldn't mind taking her to Safrin, knowing that the Goddess would probably appreciate it as well. But Maeve asks her if she received a quest.
"Yes, actually..." her brows raise as she thinks back on the tasks given to her, "I asked her for something to protect people with... to be a beacon of light and hope for others who need it. I think what she'll give me will be more than I could ever expect. I can't imagine it will suit me, something made by a goddess like that, but... I have to protect a few things ... and either save someone, or take their life." Her voice takes on a more grave tone at the end and her muscles stiffen. She already knows which one she'll do, and which one she definitely won't. Still, though... the fact that one would come more naturally to her is.. a hard reality to cope with. "I'm not going to kill anymore people, not if I don't have to," she states with solemn promise, "even if it would be easier..." She's sorry to say it but, for her, it's true.
It wasn't upsetting to her. Just because she had her own hang ups about the gods didn't mean she judged anyone else for what they chose to do. She didn't. It was their choice. If they wanted to pray, bring offerings, and complete quests then that was all on them. Maeve didn't share the same desire and that was fine. "That's wonderful, Aurelia. Really. I'm glad you were able to do that." She murmurs, giving her a little squeeze as she presses closer, nuzzling at her skin.
"Don't undersell yourself. If Safrin chooses to bless you with a gift then you are worthy of it." Conviction colors her words despite the fact that she has none when it comes to the gods. If anything, it's only because it's Aurelia. Maeve does believe that she's worthy of something like that. She might not know her well, but in the short time they've spent together it seems obvious that she cares greatly for those around her. Nothing could be more fitting in her opinion. "That seems simple enough." At least it did before she mentions having to take a life or save one.
She grows quiet as the smuggler continues, lips pursing in response to her vow and Maeve is left to take a breath as she considers what she's saying. "You've killed people in the past then..?" Maeve asks softly, her free hand still tracing across her skin as she curls against her. "
04-03-2021, 09:51 PM (This post was last modified: 04-03-2021, 09:55 PM by Aurelia.)
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Aurelia isn't quite doing it for the praise, she's trying to keep people who matter to her safe, or people who simply wouldn't deserve it. She's namely trying to prove to... perhaps herself and Safrin more than anyone, that she can be a better person. A protector of life rather than a thief of it. So Maeve's continuous approval and encouragement makes her shift a bit uncomfortably, makes her feel squeamish, and she doesn't know how to react to it.
Green eyes flash over towards Maeve at the realization that she's let that slip without really having told her about her past. A bit too late to take it back now. She doesn't want to dwell over it but she knows it can be a hard pill for some people to swallow. So she braces herself for that, moving to sit up, untangling herself, legs shifting towards the edge of the bed, only half-facing Maeve now. She can understand if she doesn't want her here anymore, and she can feel that instinctual fight or flight tugging her towards the door.
"I was a different person, didn't know the things I do now, I thought what I was doing was right. I was mistaken," she offers the brusque explanation and clears her throat, "that's why it has to be Safrin," Goddess of life that she is, "I have... a lot of work to do in order to actually prove myself, in more ways than one."
It's whiplash the way she's suddenly pulling away from her. Untangling herself and making to stand as she puts space between them. Maeve makes a soft sound in the back of her throat, brows drawing together in confusion as the smuggler withdraws. She's still naked, not even a blanket being used to cover her modesty. Maeve reaches for her, fingers moving to curl at her shoulder, to keep her here before she has a chance to flee from her completely. "Where are you going?" It's the first thing out of her mouth and she knows she needs to backtrack to what it was she said, but panic wells up in her chest at the thought of them leaving this with that sourness in the air. It's not what she wants.
"I'm not going to pretend like I understand. I didn't live your life, but you just said it yourself that it was a mistake. That you didn't know at the time." She says quickly, voice still soft and only an edge of desperation colors her words as she draws up to her knees. Maeve shuffles forward until she can wrap her arms around Aurelia, resting her cheek against her bare back as she presses herself against the other woman. "And you're trying to be better, right?" Maeve murmurs, closing her eyes as she focuses on the rise and fall of Aurelia's shoulders as she breathes.
"You don't have to go..." This part is whispered, barely audible in the quiet of the room as she holds onto her, trying to dismiss the tightness welling up in her chest. This isn't how she wants it to end.
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Aurelia pauses at the fingers that curl around her shoulder and she looks down at them. She's surprised by it, by the resolve in Maeve's voice as she blurts out something designed to make Aurelia stay. Aurelia's teeth find the inside of her lips but she continues to move away, before Maeve can press up against her and anchor her to the bed.
"Trying? Yes," she clarifies, turning to face Maeve and reaching out to grab her discarded shirt. The bra is forgotten about, more of an inconvenience really, as she pulls it back over her torso. Aurelia draws a little stiller after, glancing down towards the ground. "Not sure if I actually am, though. Probably not..." her teeth grit at that last word and she rakes her fingers through her hair. It suddenly feels as if Maeve isn't here at all, and Aurelia is simply stuck in some deep, dark vault, with no one but herself.
She blinks out of that when Maeve says she doesn't have to go, her brows pressing together. "Maybe I should," she murmurs, feeling a tightness build up in her chest because she realizes that this is probably hurtful. It hurts her, too, because she'd rather stay. She'd rather play with Maeve's hair until she falls asleep but, suddenly... that feels all messed up in such little time and she's not sure if she has the heart to anymore.
Maeve doesn't get a chance to hold her. Doesn't get a chance to do anything. Aurelia is pulling on her shirt with a finality and Maeve feels her chest growing tight along with her throat. She drops her gaze, wrapping her arms around her chest as if to cover herself. It stings; the way she draws back from her. How she so quickly puts up walls despite that they said they were going to try. That they wanted to see what this was. Any hint of hope that this will be something seems to dissipate as Aurelia dashes it with three simple words.
That light in her eyes dims as she reaches for her throw, wrapping it around herself to cover her nude form. "Why..? Why should you? I- I don't want you to, Aurelia." Maeve whispers, looking down at the floor as she tries to summon the courage to meet her gaze. Finally, she draws in a shaky breath, looking up at her from beneath her lashes, "I thought we were going to try..." She says with a bit more conviction, voice a little stronger even though it trembles.
How did things go south so quickly? What was it about her that made everyone want to leave? It hurts more than it should. They barely know each other. They've barely started anything. Yet the rejection hurts. It stings. It grips her heart tight and makes her stomach twist.
I wanna make A color that no one else has seen before
Aurelia looks away sharply, starkly aware of the things she's said to Maeve, aware of the way she's already going back on her words. She hasn't forgotten, and this isn't easy for her, but it is... maybe too much. Too much for her, to simply let another person accept her as she is and take her into their warm arms... or bed. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't sit well with her.
"I'm sorry," she shakes her head, "this was a mistake. I'm not ready to do this again... I shouldn't have come, I should've known I'd just hurt you. I hurt everyone around me." Her gaze lifts up and it's dark, regretting, "I don't deserve this, Maeve."
She doesn't wait for Maeve to plead with her, or to see her hurt with the rejection, she doesn't. She can't, in case she hasn't made it clear enough already. With a heavy weight on her shoulders, Aurelia sweeps out of the door.
This was a mistake. The words echo in her ears and she inhales sharply. The tears well up instantly and her throat grows tight with emotion. Was that just what she was? A mistake? Was it so bad to be with her? First Locke and now Aurelia. Gods... What was wrong with her? Maeve is still reeling. Still trying to figure out what went wrong. Words don't come to her and she watches with tear blurred vision as Aurelia disappears out the door.
She crumples, burying her face in her hands as she cries, shoulders hunching as the tremble with her sobs. Why did she even bother? When was she going to learn? Whores don't get to have love. They don't get happy endings. Why couldn't she understand that? Things would be so much better for her if she could.
