wake up your saints

I know what it takes to move on; I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new

It doesn't show on his face, not in any way that can be seen, but Sunjata will feel a fracture in Nate's mind, a snap of pain and upset and discomfort. Hands pause as the ascended leans in, a smile on his face as he goes and adopts the most ridiculously serious voice he can muster. "I'm going to get better as fast as I can, and when I come home I'll..." Humming and pursing his lips, Nate casts his eye around, looking for inspiration, or maybe eavesdroppers. ”I’ll teach you how to cook something really good. Something my nonna taught me.” An easy promise to make, considering nearly everything he’d learned how to make had come from her.

We’ll have to move them fast. He hums, the silent words overlapping with You’ll have to move them fast. Nate still undecided about exactly how much involvement he’s going to have, though the scale tips more and more and towards very the more time he spends near Kamaria. ”Thats right kittens!” Nate laughs, glancing down to check the consistency of his mixture before setting down the bowl and checking the pan. He likes what he finds, and starts on the pancakes, three small ones poured out to start. ”Theres three of them here. They’re soft, and fluffy and... cute.” Maybe his voice shouldn’t turn up at the end, that last adjective almost a question, but it’s not wrong.

A warm smile is tipped towards Kamaria before Nate pokes at the pancakes, testing the edges before he flips them, a simple flick of his wrist sending them up into the air and back down into the pan. ”You're very welcome.” He says of the juice, leaving Sunjata to deal with any spills.

”We have...” Again Nate looks around, taking a quick catalogue. ”Strawberries, and oranges, my favourite, um... blackberries, and oh!” Something catches his eye, something he’d picked up on a whim that seems delightfully appropriate now. ”I have a very special fruit for breakfast this morning. You’ll have to wait and see, okay?”

Much as he likes to be included, and he does strangely enough, Nate is glad for the chance to focus on plating up a stack of pancakes while Sunjata and Kamaria talk. Before long he has a stack of pancakes and turns to focus on the eggs, humming and hawing over how to prepare them.

holding on to what I haven’t got

NATE

i closed my eyes and saw my father's sins, they covered me like a second skin
i peeled them off, and sure i bled a bit, but now i'm free to sink my own damn ship

Sunjata feels the fracture, feels the internal wincing from himself that accompanies it, but lets Nate explain to Kamaria the best way he can to get her to understand. It almost sounds like a promise – that when Nate comes back, when he doesn’t hurt to be touched by them, that perhaps they might be able to fall into the category of family. And all Sunjata can do is simply watch, pulled away by the mental instruction that leaves Nate. I will. He offers with a hint of determination, some assurance that Nate didn’t have to take part if he didn’t want to.

So he tries to dive into the same feelings, the same lightness if only not to give away their troubles and struggles for Kamaria to see and pick up on. “Two of them are white and one of them is orange.” He says, offering Kamaria a soft smile. “And then we have Haai. She’s my companion and she’s a griffin.” He pauses, casting a glance to Nate briefly. “And there’s Pemota, too, she’s a starwhale. She’s Nate’s.” He can’t help the tilt of his head as he considers it, considers if she’d seen starwhales while up in the stars with Safrin.

She had to have, right? It only made sense…?

But he passes it off for the idea of pancakes, of idly watching Nate flip them as they talk of fruits. “My favorites are blackberries.” He offers her, tilting his head to Nate at the idea of a special fruit for breakfast, unsure of what it could be.

He’s distracted by Kamaria’s declaration of eating more than him, and a playful grin spreads across his face as he looks at his daughter with a hint of skepticism, a dark brow arching as he considers her. “Is that so?” He asks, pausing to consider her. “How much do you think I can eat?”

i cut my branch down from my family tree to start a fire in the living room

SUNJATA

Kamaria

I would rather stay here
Where the moon, it glows

Kamaria's worry fades at Nate's promising words of the future, when he's better and they can do more things together. Like learn to cook, which garners plenty of interest from her. "Okay!" She finally relents in this argument for keeping him, but only because she trusts in the words he's telling her, and that she'll get to see him still - just later. Whatever that means. She has no idea of the internal conflicts going on right underneath her nose and it's quite obvious with the bright, wide eyes that watch Nate and Sunjata intently.

At the realization that there are kittens here right now, Kamaria would've jumped up if it weren't for the fact that she's sort of... trapped in a chair. But before she can even formulate a plan on seeking out these white or orange kittens, Sunjata is telling her there are more animals here. "Woah! A starwhale?" She's thrilled at this statement, knowing very well what they are. "Well, if they won't fit in my room, I'll just make them a big huge... sand castle!"

As for special fruit, Kamaria is excited to see what it is. She leans over the counter further, resting her chin in her hands and swishing her feet to watch very closely. At Sunjata's challenge, because that's what she takes it as, she smirks up at him with nothing but confidence. "A lot," she remarks in answer, "and I'll still eat more than you." She giggles warmly at this, "I grew a whole bunch real fast, so I have to eat lotsa food to catch up!"

"How much can Nate eat?" She asks, turning her attentions to him.

Soaring doves and falling crows
Laughter is the only sound here

I know what it takes to move on; I know how it feels to lie
All I wanna do is trade this life for something new

”Okay.” Nate agrees with a smile and a nod, suddenly very glad that he has  back is to Sunjata and Kamaria to flip the pancakes. It gives him a chance for his face to twist, his nose wrinkling. Thats not what I meant. His mental voice is sharp, frustration and regret both curling inside of his chest until there’s nothing but defensive spikes poking out.

Smirking and not saying anything else, Nate reaches out for his companion, bothering her from her sulk nap and luring her into the kitchen with a promise of a treat. Slowly, she drifts into the kitchen, spiralling horn preceding her, and her starry wake followed by the three kittens, who try fruitlessly to catch the starlight. Unlike her master though, Pemota can’t hide her irritation, and drifts as close to the ceiling as she can, far out of reach of any of them.

Nate let’s the conversation slip past him, focusing on eggs, on the next batch of pancakes, on a sharp knife cutting a strangely shaped fruit into thick slices. He tunes back in just as hes and laying the first few pancakes, a generous sprinkling of powdered sugar adorning bf them, and the slices of starfruit finding a place beside them, along with a handful of dark berries.

”I can eat more than both of you put together.” Nate boasts over his shoulder, flipping the pan with the eggs perfectly, and breaking both of the yolks with his showing off. A curse is choked off under his breath, those eggs scrambled up quickly and set to the side while he gets to work on new ones.

While the second batch of everything cooks, Nate whisks the pancakes and fruit to Kamaria, setting the food down in front of her and a fork and nice in front of Sunjata. ”The eggs’ll just be another second, okay?”

holding on to what I haven’t got

NATE

i closed my eyes and saw my father's sins, they covered me like a second skin
i peeled them off, and sure i bled a bit, but now i'm free to sink my own damn ship

Nate’s mental voice is sharp and a bit distracting from the rest of everything going on, his gaze slipping over to Nate’s back with a quiet question, dejected and soft. What did you mean, then? He asks, leaving it open for Nate to say exactly what he meant by the words if only so Sunjata doesn’t fuck that up too.

Luckily for him, he’s also distracted by the starwhale and kittens that drift closer into the kitchen, noticing exactly how much distance Pemota puts between him and her. Which is fine, he gets it. He gets why, even if it hurts a fraction to see it happen. He tries not to let it show as he smiles to Kamaria. “A sand castle big enough for you?” He asks, flashing her a small smile and a raise of his brow, as if he isn’t sure whether or not she could. A challenge, of sorts, one that seemed like a good activity to do when it wasn’t about to storm outside.

At the mention of her eating more than them, betting that she can (or will?) eat more than him, his brows lift and his eyes widen. “Lotsa food huh?” he asks, casting his gaze back toward Nate as he offers just how much he can eat. “That’s true, Nate can eat much more than me alone.” He hums to Kamaria with a playful smile, one that fades just a fraction as soon as Nate’s turning around with the food.

“Thank you, Nate.” He rumbles quietly, gently, almost tentatively as he pretends to be focused on getting the pancakes cut for his daughter, pouring over it with syrup – but not too much – before he’s sliding it to her with a fork and leans on his elbow. “What do you think?” He asks her once she’s taken her first bite.

i cut my branch down from my family tree to start a fire in the living room

SUNJATA

Kamaria

I would rather stay here
Where the moon, it glows

Kamaria watches as a dusting of starlight filters into the room, her eyes widening and an excited gasp parting her lips. The starwhale catches her complete attention at first, but it's too far up out of her reach to try and get to. Her gaze follows the starlight down towards the rambunctious kittens, though, realizing they've made a game of this.

Well don't mind if she does! Without hesitating, she slides down from the chair and slips past Sunjata's legs to join the fluffy trio in trying to catch the light from Pemota. She giggles as the kittens frolick and pounce around her legs, thoroughly distracted from Sunjata and Nate for the time being (sorry!). In an attempt to help, she picks up one of the kittens - the orange one - to lift him higher.

Eventually, though, she does realize that breakfast has been served. Hunger takes priority over playing, which is so regrettable. So she sets down the kitten, leaving him with an encouraging pat on his rump, and returns to her chair.

"Oooh," her eyes go wide at the sight of her breakfast, her pancakes ready thanks to Sunjata. So it's those that she takes the first bite of. Initially she would've wanted to eat fast so she could return to playing, but it's so good that she has to stop and appreciate it. "It's really yummy!" She replies to Sunjata's question, gently pushing her plate towards him, "Try it!"

And they can all try to savor this short time together, a first family breakfast, before Nate has to go in order to get better. Kamaria and Sunjata will wait expectantly for his return, no doubt.

---

FIN<3

Soaring doves and falling crows
Laughter is the only sound here