From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
Trepidation sits heavy in the pit of her stomach. It weighs there like an anchor threatening to weigh her down her feet as she makes her way up the winding stairs of the lighthouse. Her fingers clutch tightly at the wicker handle of her basket. Lavender satin covers the top of her gifts along with the other things she brought with her. Candles as well as blushberry tarts freshly baked and still warm. This seems stupid. So stupid and she’s scared. Sunjata told her that Safrin wouldn’t turn her away. That she would care, but Maeve can’t make herself believe it. No matter how many times she says it. How many times she runs through that conversation they had it just doesn’t sink in.
Yet she climbs the stairs. Climbs and climbs and climbs until the ground is so far below her it seems like a distant memory. Suddenly she’s there in the place so many have come before her to pray. Maeve isn’t even sure what she’s here for. Why she wants to even try. Maybe she’s just curious. Curious to see if Safrin would listen the way Sunjata promised she would. Except she doesn’t want to waste the goddess’s time. Doesn’t want to anger her if she does listen.
Maeve spreads out the soft lavender satin on the floor, sinking to her knees as she places the candles she lovingly made herself with lavender she grew in the garden at the Halenani. The tarts follow and she unscrews a jar of honey, drizzling it over the top before putting it back into her basket and drawing out matches instead. She strikes the matches, lighting her unburned candles. Their soft light fills the room, flickering gently against the walls of the lighthouse even as the sunlight dapples through the one window in the room, providing a single shaft of light within the space. With great care, she draws out an ornate silver mirror, handle and back inlaid with Abalone that reflects rainbows across its surface. She sets it between the candles in the tarts, watching the flames dance in the reflection of the mirror.
”I- I’ve not done this since I was a child. Although, I don’t know that I did it right then either.” She starts, voice soft, no more than a whisper as she clutches her hands in her lap, twisting into the fabric of her skirt. ”I never went to a shrine and- and before you couldn’t hear me when I prayed. No one ever told me that. Didn’t have anyone to. Not until.. Until I met Sunjata. For so long I thought that none of you cared and I still don’t know if you do. I hope that doesn’t make you angry… I just thought I should be honest with you.” Maeve takes a shaky breath, lifting her eyes from the reflection of the mirror to the empty space before her, hoping she might see her there, but it is still empty.
Her eyes close and she ignores the tightness in her throat, ”For years I longed to be wanted and loved. I still want it, but the world is changing and I don’t know if I can have that anymore. I- I’ve met people and I think that maybe I can, but they’re all leaving. Going out to sea or to become soldiers or-” She cuts herself off, not allowing the words to leave her mouth even as they sit at the tip of her tongue. ”I don’t know what I’m asking for, Safrin. I’m sorry.” Maeve whispers, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes as her head drops and her fingers clench in the skirt of her dress.
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
'There's no doing it right or wrong with me, beautiful one.' Safrin's voice sweeps through the stone room like a warm wind following spring rains. The goddess appears on the window sill, as if the air has simply parted to reveal a form that was there the entire time. In a gown of soft starlight, she sits with one knee curved and her back against the stone window, while the other trails and sways above the floor.
"Being kept away for so long..." Softly she shakes her head with a weary sigh. "I wouldn't have minded it so much were it not for you and others like you. Beautiful souls I never had the chance to meet. Though I am glad you're here now." Slipping from the window Safrin all but glides toward Maeve with a smile on her perfectly painted lips.
"This world is indeed changing...war is nearly upon us and I fear that not even the haven you provide in the Halenani will be able to hide from it."
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
The voice washes over her like a sweet breeze that passes through the gardens at the Halenani. Maeve opens her eyes, glassy from tears that haven't fallen and she inhales sharply, "Oh..." It's all she can manage, awe struck as she looks up at her with wide eyes, feeling incredibly small even as the goddess offers her gentle words of comfort. "I'm glad you came. I didn't think-" A shaky breath pushes past parted lips and she wets them before speaking again, "I didn't think you would... I'm sorry to have doubted it. To have doubted you." Maeve murmurs, fingers clenching a little more tightly in her skirt as Safrin continues to speak and suddenly it becomes a little more clear what she wants.
"I know... The girls aren't made for it. I don't even know if I'm made for it, but I want to keep them safe. Them and others. How can I do that? I- I really don't know and I would like to, please." Maeve looks up at her from beneath long lashes, almost shyly as she regards the woman draped in starlight. She's beautiful. Incredibly beautiful and Maeve understands what Sunjata meant now. What they all meant. About feeling warm and seen because Safrin is looking at her with stars in her eyes and Maeve can't help returning her gaze with nothing but appreciation and devotion already playing in the green of her irises.
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
Safrin's smile is sweet and understanding as she softly shakes her head. "It is in your nature to doubt." She replies, exuding elegance and calm.
The goddess's head tilts to the side allowing a few tendrils of hair to fall against her shoulder as she listens to the Madame's worries. "You are made for much more than you give yourself credit for, Maeve. Already you have risen to the top of the small world you rule over, but there could be much more that opens at your fingertips, if you ever want it." Safrin's shrug is gentle, but leading.
"Truthfully I am surprised it is to me that you have decided to call...Frey certainly seems much more fitting to the life you find yourself in?" Safrin's dislike of the other herald is quite clear in the way small frown lines form around the corners of her mouth.
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
Safrin dismisses her worries with ease and reassures her in the same breath. Maeve's shoulders sag with relief and finally she manages to give the goddess an almost shy smile as she looks up at her. She really is beautiful. Aurelia did get that part right and the Madame is distracted by her grace for a moment, forgetting her words as she focuses on the goddess before her instead. A flush rises to her cheeks as Safrin commends her ability and she ducks her head demurely. "You are kind to say so. I- I think I do want that." There is a hint of uncertainty to her words, clearly this isn't something she's as sure about.
Then she mentions Frey and Maeve's lips purse. "I thought of going to Frey, but... but when I spoke with Sunjata about you he said some things that swayed me. Like how you've never abandoned him or asked for more than he was willing to give. How you loved him no matter what... Maeve chances a glance up at the goddess, bottom lip caught between your teeth, "And I want that too. I know that given my lifestyle Frey might seem more fitting, but the things I do for work isn't the only thing I want out of life. I want a family too. A child... And you're the goddess of life..." She tries to explain this all clearly, feeling like her words aren't enough to get across why she picked her instead.
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
'All things in their own time.' There was no need to rush after all. Maeve was young still, with her life ahead of her. For all the Madame had accomplished, she was barely more than a few sentences deep in the storyline of her own life.
Of course Safrin preens slightly to hear that favourable things about her had left the Flood's lips. Vanity was not a trait the goddess bothered to hide nor be ashamed of. "And what's stopping you? I'm sure you could kick some sand and find someone willing to share your bed for the rest of their days, and as for a child?" Safrin chuckles. "I'm quite sure you are well aware of how to make that a reality for yourself."
Softly, then, Safrin shakes her head. "Not the goddess of life, no. Vi is the only one who holds a title even close to that. As his herald, life is certainly part of what I am, but not all."
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
She doesn't mean to scoff, but it happens and her hand moves up to cover her mouth before she clears her throat, "You would think, but I've not had much luck in that department." And she hasn't. Aurelia left with the claim that being with her as a mistake and Locke leaving for Stormbreak without any word as to what they were. Sunjata wasn't even on that list realistically despite the way their relationship has developed. She nods, confirming that she does know what goes into the making of a child.
The correction is gentle. It's delivered as a mother might to their child when they mix something up about the world they're newly discovering. "Oh.. Right. I'm sorry. I'm still learning about it all." She admits softly as she looks back up at her. She's grateful for Safrin's patience with her. That she's so willing to to put up with her lack of knowledge
"What can I do? To keep the people important to me safe? I just want to be able to take care of them." Maeve finally asks, edging a little closer to her as her hands press against the cold stone of the floor
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
'Oh, it takes far more than luck sweet girl.' Safrin says with a smile. 'Are you really so keen to find yourself tethered to another by the chords of love? You're still so young. What's the rush?"
It is a question that Safrin is asked often, but her answer nearly always depends on who is asking. Stretching out a hand to softly adjust a tendril of smokey lavender away from Maeve's face, the goddess sits up straight as she considers. "To keep them safe from what? Life is often hard and full of dangers, but that is how we learn and grow." Tilting her head slightly, easily able to peer into the Madame's thoughts but letting her voice them for herself, Safrin simply waits, a paragon of patience and understanding that Maeve might find the words for herself.
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
As with everything thus far, Safrin is patient with her. Sweet and understanding as she speaks. With each passing second Maeve find herself slipping into feeling more at ease even as a soft flush rises to her cheeks. Her lips purse and she sighs, "I know and I'm sure it seems silly... It's just-" Maeve pauses, trying hard to ignore how childish she feels as she pushes forward with what she was going to say. "It's something I've always wanted and I feel like I'd make a good partner for someone. I just don't want to be alone anymore, Safrin." She finally admits, getting to the crux of it and not letting herself feel lesser for wanting something so simple for herself.
The goddess reaches out to brush her hair from her face and Maeve can't help the way she leans into her touch, following after it even as she pulls away. She knows how hard life is. Knows that without challenges it's hard to grow. That's not what she wants to protect them from. She can help people through challenges. Heartbreak and hunger. The things that life pits you against that you can manage on your own or with help from others. It's everything else and she doesn't know how to ask for that. Except that isn't really it either, is it? She wants to know when they need her. When she needs to be there to provide them with aide in whatever form that takes.
The realization dawns on her, bringing a new light to her eyes as she looks up at Safrin, "I know... We have to face things ourselves and it's how we grow. I think- I think what I really want is to know when they need me. When they're in danger or need support or just... something. I want to be able to be there." Maeve finally settles on, giving a little nod as if confirming it to herself.
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
"Not silly at all." Safrin interrupts with a shake of her head. "But also not something that can be rushed. Love is one of the greatest gifts Mort ever bestowed on humanity. A way to give meaning to life. But as such, true love of the kind you seem to want...is not something I can offer you." Could Safrin make a love potion? Could she make anyone in Maeve's vicinity want her with hopeless zeal? Could she simply eliminate any of Maeve's competitors? Of course she good. But such wasn't what the Madame was truly after.
'You aren't alone, dear one.' The goddess says with another shake of her head, her galactic gaze warm and inviting as it scans the lines of Maeve's face. "Perhaps you might not have found the one, but you aren't alone because of that. You have your work, your friends, yourself. Me."
Sitting up straighter now, her head tilted ever more to the side, Safrin's eyes flash with understanding. "Perhaps a way for you to suddenly appear at someone's side, should they need you? Regardless of where they are?"
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
Safrin's reassurance washes over her and with it her embarrassment disappears too. Maeve nods once more, licking her lips, "I understand I need to be patient." She murmurs softly, taking the words to heart and tucking them away there. Someone out there would be perfect for her. She just had to wait. It would come and when it did it would have been worth every second of waiting.
Maeve looks into her eyes, seeing the stars that swirl there and she knows that the goddess sees her. That she means it. Tears prick her eyes again and she swallows thickly as she whispers, "Promise?" It doesn't occur to her that asking for such a promise might be worng. That it could bring repercussions, but looking up at the goddess before her, surrounded by starlight and warmth, the question falls from her lips unbidden.
The goddess offers a solution to her request. One that would enable her to be there for those who need her whenever and wherever. Maeve nods, reaching up to wipe at her tears roughly, "That.. that would be perfect. Thank you. Thank you so much.."
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
Reaching forward with both hands, Safrin slides her fingertips across Maeve's cheeks until the madame's face is cupped softly in the goddess's hands. "I promise." She vows, her smile sweet and her words sincere. The tears that trickle down Maeve's cheeks Safrin helps to wipe away, before she sits back, folding her hands into her lap.
"First, I need to know that when you are called upon, you will prove yourself to be more of a help, than a hindrance to those who need you." Safrin begins. "You might have the biggest heart and find yourself in the right place, but without proper preparation, you might hurt those you appear to save."
Maeve has been given a quest! She must
1. Complete a training thread
2. Kill something (can be an animal/hunting/whatever)
3. Have a thread based around non-magical healing techniques
4. Collect 2 of whatever she would like her item to be (stones, gems, flowers, etc)
The only Heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you
Safrin reaches out to cup her cheeks, thumbs tenderly brushing across her cheeks to wipe away the tears that slipped hotly down her face. The Madame leans into her touch, but doesn't make any other attempts to touch her. A quiet sniffle echoes in the chamber and she manages a smile as Safrin makes her promise. Maeve believes her. A warmth spreading in her chest unlike one she's ever felt before as the goddess draws back from her to give her the new task.
She nods in understanding, "I understand. I won't disappoint you. Thank you, Safrin. Thank you so much. As soon as I finish I'll return." Maeve vows, smiling brightly up at the goddess and with her new quest assigned, she gathers what she needs to from the shrine and returns to town. Already a plan forming in her head.
~FIN <3~
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
