The Better To See You With

Jigano removed his hand as soon as he saw that Sam was uncomfortable with the touch, a flicker of guilt in his eyes. He knew how uncomfortable unasked for contact made him, and he regretted reaching out as soon as the bookmaker showed no sign of welcoming it.

Another misstep, this time verbal, and the bard found himself at a loss for how to help his friend. Everything he did seemed to backfire, or make things worse somehow. He wasn't used to feeling that way, not since he had arrived on Caido. At least, not aside from his tension with Remi. And yet, since that morning, it seemed that where their connections overlapped he was finding his supports snapping one by one, or new friendships denied him.

He was still learning to reach out and make those friendships again, to trust and cherish the trust of others, but it seemed his mistakes were legion, as even his attempt to engage Samuel in a discussion of 'what if' came crashing down in awkward silence.

The lorekeeper had not expected Remi to pass on his gift so soon, nor to claim the work his own after extracting a promise from the bard not to mention its maker. At least that, it seemed, would not be an issue he would have to avoid discussing with his friend, but his relief was short-lived. Dutifully, the bard examined the band, though this time he didn't make the mistake of reaching out to touch the bookmaker. Sam's enthusiasm would have been infectious if the weight of their earlier failed conversations had not settled so heavily on the bard's heart, but combined with his worry he found it hard to rise to the same level of excitement.

"I am glad," he said quietly, a wistful little smile on his lips. "That you are happy. I was worried that it might have let you feel only pain and not pleasure. But if you can taste and smell and feel good things again, too... then I am very happy for you." Hearing that Sam and Remi had gone on a date should have been more shocking, perhaps, given how ambivalent the pup had seemed about the bookmaker. At times he seemed to care deeply for the man he'd groped in the cave. At others, he seemed afraid of Sam getting too close. For all the alchemist's flaws, Jigano had not attributed pettiness to him until the run-in with Remi's friends at the red-antlered luxere sighting. Now he wasn't so sure... and the thought of the boy twisting Samuel's friendship away from him hurt all the more for being so unexpected.

The weight of the charm on his sleeve suddenly seemed far heavier than its small size, and so inadequate in comparison. "I'm glad you've found someone you like," he said instead, tucking the pain deep and slipping into the role of a happier man, an actor donning a mask as his smile brightened. "It's fortunate that your shops are so close together. I--"

He was saved as a rabbit dashed across their path, a little ways ahead. A hawk dropped down behind it, but swerved at the last second as it felt the effects of the barrier's field and shied away, flapping back into the sky. The bunny went further into the danger zone before it paused, trembling with shock and pain that finally overcame its fear.

Jigano didn't seem as happy for Sam as he had hoped. Perhaps he had some kind of distaste for the idea of upgrades? He had said Ascended earlier in a way that had been not quite right...Sam withdrew his arm, rubbing at his wrist. He didn't want to think poorly of his friend, but the idea that Jigano could be prejudice began to bubble in his mind.

Still, he eventually smiled and said he was glad, so Sam tried to take him at his word. "I can f-feel everything you could. The pain...and the be-better things. But even the pain...is interesting. To me. B-because I haven't had it for so long." He didn't realise quite how concerning that could sound, Sam only thinking of the rush he'd had when he had little accidental bumps or scratches.

"Thank you. He is...I think h-he is wonderful. I can only hope he likes me." He shrugged and smiled shyly, not wanting to say that Remi did like him in case it turned out not to be true.

Sam followed Jigano's eyes to the rabbit and it's hunter. He breathed a sigh of relief as the hawk moved on, but then stepped forward with a gasp as the rabbit didn't leave the barrier. "We should...we sh-should help it, right?" He said, taking another shaking step.

"I hope you don't feel too much pain, then," the bard said gently. "Nor often. Do you still heal quickly?" A reasonable question, he hoped, with the looming fear of 'adverse effects' still lingering in his thoughts. What price, this upgrade? Was it truly so miraculously easy as Remi had hoped? He'd be grateful to the pup if so, but Jigano couldn't help but wait for the downside of the deal.

There was always a downside, when one meddled with gods. At least for him.

"If he made you something like that... and went on a date with you... then, yes, I think he likes you," Jigano said gently, his smile soft even as he tucked his fingers into his sleeves for warmth - and to brush one sadly against the luck-piece he'd braved the Labyrinth to have made.

The rabbit's plight brought a frown of concentration to the lorekeeper's lips, and he nodded agreement to Sam's plea. "Yes, of course... I'm just afraid if we approach it from this side, we might scare it closer to the barrier." A tasty meal in another form became a mission of mercy with Samuel's kind heart leading the charge, and Jigano exhaled slowly as he looked around consideringly. "I'm not sure... perhaps if we back up a bit, so the little one has a clear path to run, and... throw something behind it? To try and startle it forward and away from the bubble?" It wasn't a great plan, but, hunter though he was, he didn't like the way the little creature shivered in fear and pain at the barrier's edge.

Backing up slowly, Jigano bent to scoop some snow into his hands, packing it into a ball as he judged the distance. He wasn't strong, but he was precise - the ball flew in from the side, the rabbit glancing up at the last second and startling, just as the snow landed a few inches in front of its nose. The spray of its collapse into the snowbank powdered the rabbit's nose, and it instinctively kicked backwards, hopping a mad zig-zag away from the field of power that the barrier exuded. Its steps faltered after just a little distance, however, and it once more froze into quivering stillness, as though it had used all of its energy just to get back into normal air.

"Y-yes, I think so, but I haven't...tried it yet." Sam did try his best to not get hurt, and had as of yet managed to avoid any major injury since the upgrade. He supposed it would still heal as quick; the upgrade only allowed him to feel, after all. He was still Ascended.

Jigano said he thought Remi liked him, which made him burst out into a sunny smile and embarrassed laugh. Sam did trust Jigano's opinion on these kind of matters, so he supposed then it was likely true.

"Alright. Just..t-try not to hit it." Sam immediately assumed he wouldn't be the one to throw anything. He'd never been skilled at sports, something he felt Jigano must have surely caught on; especially since Sam had thrown a chair into him during their opening of the Loreseeker's guild. Jigano's throw was good, landing just where he wanted it to, and brought the rabbit away from the barrier.

"Oh. Good job! B..but...it's not moving anymore. Hm." Sam knelt down, enjoying the cold on his knees rather than minding it, and tried to see better the state of the rabbit. "It...do-doesn't seem to have any...like the wings before. Maybe it..takes time? For those things?"

It was a relief that Sam could still heal swiftly, as Isla said 'normal' Ascended could, though Jigano still wasn't sure what constituted 'normal' in a race where each person seemed to have unique strengths and abilities. With his worries at least somewhat relieved, the Attuned had found new ones soon enough in the romantic proclivities of his friend, but even those were interrupted by the rabbit's flight and subsequent weakness at the barrier's edge.

"Trying not to," the bard muttered, focused on his target, though a wisp of exasperated amusement filtered through his uneasiness. The chair incident was also not far from his own thoughts in that moment - hence why he had moved to throw the snowball before Sam could try. At least the snow wouldn't likely hurt the rabbit if it did. Jigano still had a twinge in his shoulder sometimes, though it was, thankfully fading as the bruises already had.

Throw successful, Jigano watched the rabbit start to run and then stop, a frown coming over his lips. "It might be in shock," he hazarded a guess. "Good eyes, though. With any luck it lives in the woods, far enough away to avoid the effect of the barrier. If it were a magical effect it might be immediate... but I think you're on to something. Some sort of slow... chemical? Poison? That causes things to become damaged over time." All the more reason for people to live as far away as possible from it, nearer the center of the bubble and away from its walls.

"What do you think we should do about him?" the bard asked gently, looking from his worried friend to the shell-shocked bunny.

"Mayb...maybe it's...babies might be weird." Sam put forward, watching the rabbit with an intent stare. "I don't...think it would suddenly grow som-something, right?" He was not in any way a scientist, but he found it hard to imagine extra wings or limbs being something that spontaneously appeared.

What should they do with it? Well, ideally they'd do nothing, let it go on it's own way back...but the way it was standing so still and nervous...as embarrassing as it was, Sam recognised himself in the shaking little creature. He had been frozen with fear and shock plenty of times, unable to do anything but stare. He had often wished for some powerful figure to come and rescue him...

He shuffled a little closer in the snow. The rabbit still didn't move. "Maybe..." He began to say, not quite looking at Jigano in case he somehow held his real motives in his eyes. "We could...take it back and c-care for it? In ca...case being by the barrier has hurt it. And st-study it too. A pet...almost. For the guild. In the...Atheneum it would have a lot of sp-space, and I could feed it.."

Jigano nodded agreement, then glanced down at his friend and realized Sam's attention was all for the rabbit. "Right," he said out loud. "And I, too, would be curious about its offspring, though I don't think we have a way to keep track of it." Or even know whether it was a 'him' or a 'her.' Rabbits were, in the Attuned's experience, mostly for eating and he didn't bother about their personal lives.

He had rather hoped Sam might suggest leaving it alone, or maybe just keeping an eye on it until it had recovered enough to move again. He didn't realize the kinship that was forming in the bookmaker's mind for the little prey animal; not, at least, until Sam started shuffling closer and the bard felt an inkling of concern just before his friend spoke.

He drew in a slow, quiet breath and let it out just as carefully, blue eyes softening as he looked at the ginger-haired scholar. Sam's kind heart was one of the reasons Jigano treasured his friendship. "I suppose... we can try," he agreed tentatively. "We'll need to make sure Isla and Amalia are okay with it. And he might have to be kept in a cage, so he doesn't run out of the Atheneum when the door is open and get lost. But... for a little while, at least, you might keep him." The bard hesitated, his voice gentling further as his thoughts traced the list of consequences and knowledge he had on the small, furry lunch items. "But he - or she? - might not be entirely happy there, alone. Rabbits usually live in groups. Once we're sure it - they? - are alright, we should probably return them to the woods over there, to find their family again."

All of this assumed that Sam could catch the little creature in the first place, and keep it contained long enough to get it back to the Settlement. Jigano wasn't sure if he was hoping his friend would be successful in that or not. If the rabbit escaped it was probably well enough to survive a while longer, after all. If it was passive enough to allow itself to be carried so far without struggle, it might not live very long and then Sam would feel terrible if it died while he was caring for it... Jigano bit his lip, crouching down slowly to be more on his friend's level as he tried to find a way to phrase his concerns without hurting his friend's feelings.

Jigano had the tone of voice one might employ with a small child. Sam felt like one too as he was told gently reasons why his plans to take the rabbit may not work. The mention of a family did tug at his heartstrings...maybe it would be cruel to take the rabbit away from it's home to the cold walls of the Atheneum. He bit his lip and looked at it just a moment longer before shaking his head and standing up.

"Y..you're right. It's silly." Sam said down to Jigano, not wanting to hear any more reasons why it wouldn't work out. "But we should...should help it get back. To safety." He looked around and tried to work out what they could do as he brushed the snow off of his knees.

"Maybe we could...g-go around to the barrier side...not too close, and chase it back?" He suggested. Getting close to the barrier was not something he wanted to do, but his heart bled for the scared little creature. Sam's empathy won out over his fear, and he took a few steps around the rabbit to try and get behind it.

Jigano raised a brow at the phrasing, staying crouched while Sam stood. "Who said it was silly?" he asked, brow furrowing. "It was a kind thing to suggest. And I am still willing to try it, if it would make you happy." But no matter what he said today, it seemed to be the wrong thing. Rising as Sam began working his way closer to the rabbit, Jigano hid his sigh and stood.

"Yes, of course," he murmured, biting his tongue against his own suggestion. Sam was trying, and that was what he had hoped the meek bookmaker would do more of. So he followed slowly in the Ascended's footprints, doing his best not to scare the quivering little ball of white fur that blended with the snow.

He felt the buzz of the barrier starting in his back teeth, setting him on edge. He hunched his shoulders against the strange ache in his joints as he shuffled a little closer, trying to get behind the little rabbit as slowly and carefully as Sam was moving - not that the little creature seemed to be budging much, though from the way its ears twitched it knew they were there. "I'll follow your lead," he said quietly, letting Sam make the decision of when to move - and when to chase.

"No, I...the re-reasons you gave. I realised it wasn't a sm..smart idea. I shouldn't keep it from it's fa-family. Or nature." The fact that it was a kind idea had not really occurred to him until Jigano said it; to Sam it had simply been the right thing to do. But it was clearly not going to work out, so he tried to eliminate the name ideas he'd had from his mind as he approached the rabbit.

He could feel the barrier behind him, just tickling at the back of his head and making his mouth feel oddly numb, but nothing more serious than that. He was being careful to not get too close as he approached the rabbit, which didn't move for a considerable while as he got closer.

Then suddenly he took a few quicker steps forward with his hands by the ground, trying to usher it along. The rabbit moved one hop as if it were affronted at having to, then all at once moved with speed, swiftly blending into the snow as the white ball of fur ran away over the fields. Sam watched it go then walked away from the barrier, silently standing and looking in the direction it had fled for a moment.

"I...it must be nice, d-don't you think? To not...have any...w-worries? Human worries? To just...eat, and sleep, and enjoy the weather?"

"I'm sorry," the bard said softly, all the same. He wasn't used to being around people who weren't as... damaged... as he was. He had wanted to protect Samuel's innocence, and that gentle heart, but here he was wounding his friend no less than he'd feared Remi doing.

The thought slowed his feet, his already sober thoughts taking a darker turn as he battled the warning signs of being too close to the barrier. It was a relief when Sam propelled himself forward, Jigano gladly joining him. He kept walking even after the rabbit was well away, shuddering at the lingering ache in his teeth and bones. His friend's philosophical question caught him off guard and he blinked, looking to the treeline with eyes that saw both as man and fox.

"Yes," he said softly. "That would be nice... more than nice, I think. Animals don't have to worry about good or evil or making sacrifices for the greater good..." he trailed off, giving a shake of his head to try and banish his ghosts, lips quirking into a wry smile as he looked back at his friend. "But... they don't get to read books, either, or make tea with their friends. Or go candle shopping, or play harps. So for these things and more, I'm grateful I've had the chance to spend time doing them with a friend, capable of both planning more such days in the future, and remembering those that have passed."

"It's alright. I..I get i-ideas sometimes that don't work." Sam shrugged. He just didn't usually have the chance to voice them. While he was a quiet person, Sam was always thinking at a mile a minute, trying to work out the best way to navigate a situation or the possibilities for his future (the next five minutes, the next week, year, lifetime).

Jigano gave him a detailed answer back to his question, one that sounded as if he had experience of being an animal himself. Sam thought about it. If he was a rabbit he supposed he wouldn't be able to slowly gain his confidence with friends, or be in the guild, or go on dates with Remi.

"I...I s-suppose you're right. I...kind of e-envy people like Remi, though. Who can be animals. It's...n-nice, to be able to fly or be like that. For a while." His time as a bird, soaring over the rooftops, had been exhilarating. Sam turned to look at Jigano with a soft smile. "I hope...you a-are making a lot of friends. You..you d-deserve them, Jigano. I think you are v-very wise and good."

"That's only human," Jigano tried to reassure his friend, wondering if he should offer examples of his own missteps. Such as several points along their conversation already today. But... no. This moment was about Sam, not him, and the bard bit back further words until the bookmaker's wistful look out into the snowfield drew the white-haired man after him in philosophical meandering.

"Ah, yes, you said you flew with him out of the cave. I... am not so graceful in the air," the bard chuckled, remembering his own rare experiences with flight. "A mage friend of mine, back on my world, occasionally cast a spell to let me fly for short periods of time - without changing shape as happens here. I was... not well-practice at it, I'm rather embarrassed to say. Everyone else I traveled with grew quite proficient, but I never did get the hang of it." With feet on the ground he was confident and assured. Without that, well... the fewer witnesses, the better.

Sam's smile was almost painful given all that they had struggled with already. Jigano exhaled slowly, some of the tension easing from the corners of his eyes as they brightened and his own smile softened. Taking refuge in his training, he offered Sam a solemn half-bow, though the smile remained when he rose again. He might have protested but... part of him cherished the thought that Sam still saw the sparks of what he had once sought to become, in spite of all the tarnish. "Thank you, Sam. I hope you're making more, as well, for you deserve no less. You have a good heart, and a kind soul." He reached into his belt pouch to touch the edge of the grey journal, smile widening. "And a skill with paper and books I can only envy. I had meant to ask, in fact, if you would be interested in being the chronicler for our guild? To write down our stories, like how we found and readied our Hall, and about the people who join us; their specialties and interests. I think it would be good, too, to have all of the questions we research and are asked written down in one central place, along with the answers we find. With your knowledge of how to make and unmake books to add new pages, and your skill with writing, I can think of no one better able to hold the position. Would you be interested in such a thing?" His voice turned tentative, at the end, uncertain if his friend would be excited at the suggestion, or if there was, yet again, a flaw in his phrasing that would push the bookmaker further away.

Sam pressed his lips together so he wouldn't laugh at the image of Jigano being lifted ungracefully through the air. Even his melancholy from before faded a little from the thought. Would he go upside down or wobble upright? Either way was enough to push a little huff for laughter from him. "I'm s-sure you were better than I'd b-be at it."

The little bow surprised him; he wasn't sure if he was meant to return it but did anyway. "Oh. Th..thank you." His first reaction was to deny the compliment, but he swallowed it, trying to take on board the advice he'd had. Besides, Jigano was continuing to speak about something very interesting.

"Oh, yes!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "I w-w-would love to do that! I could...make big gold vol..volumes, with illustrated bo-borders. Tell the st-story about the wasps first. But...maybe...leave the chair out of it." Sam awkwardly laughed but he did still feel rather guilty about it. "Are you sure you tr-trust me to...do it right? It's...a l-lot."