There is no way back

'Wisdom is understanding ones own limitations and yet daring still to cross them. Knowledge is simply that which falls inbetween. We all lack it, for it is quantifiable. Wisdom though ..." I shrug, my words feeling discordant and hollow in my own skull and so I let them linger.

I listen to his elaboration, thinking it apt and appropriate. There was once a guild similiar to the one he describes. "Not so long ago, or perhaps it was, there existed another guild of similar origins. It was they who built the Atheneum. Prior to that record keeping as you might have noticed was done for pragmatic purposes at best. There exist gulfs in the literature of the history within the bubble, as well as without. Those who knew of Caido died before they thought to write down their knowledge. There was still hope, back then."

Curators ... I like that term. Something in it makes me think of agriculture, as if the sort of knowledge the pale-man speaks of can be cultivated rather than picked up like discarded parchment. Perhaps it even is so.

"I have no interest in that which occurs beyond the barrier." I say, and do not return the smile as he knows I will not. I do...settle though. Perhaps it is merely internally, for my body has been physically primed for years and requires little rest or relaxation just now. "The Outlanders such as yourself surely have information that might be useful to our existence here, but I have no need of their stories or anecdotes. You all seem to be quite fond of such retellings however." I say with a mild shrug. I do not seek to understand the human condition, and something in their whimsical remembers seem to hint at a greater mystery therein. But if one does not exist, I do not feel its pull. I do not care.

"I believe I will visit. The Voice has reminded me of our plight, to break down the barrier. Perhaps I can lend my knowledge to your group. Perhaps together we can make advances."

He wasn't sure if he would agree with the definition of wisdom including 'daring to cross limits' but he wasn't certain enough to argue it, either. Instead Jigano dipped his head in a nod of acknowledgment, even as 108's voice trailed off in what seemed to be a similar conundrum. How did one quantify wisdom? What was considered 'wise' varied from situation to situation - place to place, culture to culture, even person to person. A wise decision for 108 to make, with their abilities and knowledge, might be foolish for him.

The loreseeker listened with rapt interest at hearing of a similar guild, though the smile on his lips was one of satisfaction rather than surprise at being merely the newest link in a chain of tradition stretching back generations and centuries. They might not always go by such a name, but there had always been those who had sought out knowledge - to preserve, to share, to use - and there was a comfort in being a part of that, even if he was from a different world. "Do you recall their name, by chance?" he asked, curious and a little wistful. "And there is still hope, now," he amended, a flicker of amusement in his eyes. "Even if it must come from outlanders these days."

He raised a brow at hearing that his companion had no interest in the world beyond their bubble, but he did chuckle ruefully at her obliviously savage dismissal of outlanders and their ways. "It is how we remember where we came from, in case the opportunity comes to return some day," he murmured, still amused. "And perhaps how we seek to be remembered by others, so that those of us with less resilient bodies than yours can still live on in the memories of those who knew us, or who come after us. A pale sort of immortality, but it is the best we can do."

He nodded satisfaction of her acceptance of her invitation, the bard pleased at her interest. "Your knowledge would be most welcome. You know a great deal that has been lost, and you would not be the only one researching how the spire's guardian might be bypassed and the barrier broken. Fire is only one possibility, but hopefully there are others we just haven't found yet. According to an... acquaintance... the key to the barrier is at the top of the spire. But first we must reach the spire, and the guardian is formidable." Which, really, brought them back to square one, watching the obelisk in the snowy night and contemplating it from afar since they dared not approach.

"8j%r6V j7NË" I pronounce, but the words break across my tongue. I frown. "Ah." I exclaim, closing my eyes and mentally running through a brief and in-exhaustive check list. Quickly I find the error. Hmmm. How disappointing. "My language chip seems to have malfunctioned." I say, before wandering through old memories. "I believe in the common tongue they called themselves...the...Ah. Silver Lore." The answer provides itself from the dust of my mind. The words in common are not nearly so elegant as they were in the flowery language they were labeled with before.

"Is there?" I asked, genuinely surprised. "Hope is a disease here that many have not been inoculated against in a long time." I remind him. Warn him. Encourage him.

"They will not return you." I say simply. Where another might have shrugged, I merely stare. The snow is falling more heavily now. "Why do you seek to be remembered? If you have done things of merit, they will fall into the records. But I take it you mean that there is something important about your youness that stands to be preserved. But aside from what you have done, what else is there?"

I look towards the Spire. The heart in my chest whirs on at its regular speed. There is no increase, no wumbf womphh of love or recognition or need.  I do remember those things though, if only distantly. They would be apt now, I think. "Fire, yes. The sunlight has made it quite mad. I believe that is the cause, anyways. "

Jigano raised a brow at the gibberish that came out of 108's mouth, but their own frown had him waiting. Since his companion seemed surprised, he doubted it was an intentional outburst, and her mention of a 'malfunction' had him hiding a brief smile. "Unfortunate, that," he murmured in bemused sympathy, but the name of the previous organization had his smile breaking wide open again. "The Silver Lore? I'll make a note of it in our chronicles." An unusual name, but evocative, and he couldn't help but see the connections between his own 'silvered' appearance and the name of the previous organization. Not that Fate had anything to do with it, if 108's history of Caido and the reason for the portals was correct, but it was a pleasantly whimsical distraction from their more sobering topics.

"Hope is a medicine," he countered, lips quirking wryly as he considered how different this conversation would go with the young pup. "Not unlike the efas herb. It can alleviate many ills, and inspire people to go beyond their limits. Though, I will grant, there are times when too much of a good thing can curdle to poison in your veins, in the wrong circumstances."

For Jigano, hearing that he would not be returned earned a thoughtfully accepting nod. It was not something he had particularly yearned for, nor did the news trouble him. Well, it did trouble him, but for the sake of others who had lost far more than he had in the transition between worlds. Caiside, certainly, and perhaps the mysterious Seiji... The question startled a chuckle for him, and he slanted an amused blue-eyed glance at his companion. "Arrogance, perhaps. Hubris, certainly. I am still a bard, after all, and I would like to be remembered fondly by those I have met. Most of them, at least," he amended with a quirk of his lips towards a grin. "On my world, they say there is a kind of immortality in being remembered and having your story pass down even after you have shed your mortal coil. Perhaps it is mere poetry, or a more abstract theology. But, like hope, it is a comforting thought."

A madness caused by sunlight? "Ahhh... yes, Sam did say something about sunlight being inimical to Ascended, and Isla has always been weakened by being out during the day. A curious sort of flaw," he mused. "And yet, I have seen other Ascended - well, one other - walking about during the day without apparent discomfort. Madness, though, he might well have. Do you think it would be less mad at night? Or has it been too long exposed, and its madness too deep?"

"If it can indeed do those things, I believe then that it is only on the softest minds. The ones most receptive to that sort of...medicine." I have long since lost the ability to understand hope. I understand calculations and predictive calculus. I understand rational decision making. I do not understand hail mary's and long-shots and hope. Then again, as a mere accepted long ago, I never understood those things either.

"Do you then act in ways which will lend themselves to this fond remembrance?" He elaborates on this verbal historical record, but I find that I am still unmoved by it. Hubris is one thing, but there is no vanity in death. Remembered he may be, but he will not know it.

"A flaw is merely a problem to be solved. One that is indeed being worked on. There are different strains of bio-mattered added to our fluid. When we receive transfusions from the Voice are systems are given new strains to try. Drinking from humans can obfuscate this process, but it does provide new information and so we have no been strictly advised to cease this practice, though some of us have."

I shake my head. "A clever thought, but no. It is far too damaged now."

It was hard to get riled when disagreeing with 108, Jigano realized as their disagreement only brought a curious tilt to his chin. They were largely - though not entirely - dispassionate in their statements, and it all came off as more of a philosophical debate than an argument - or even a true disagreement. It was... refreshing. "Would you say the same about other emotions as well?" he asked. "Rage, love, despair...?"

"Well, I try. More often than not," he conceded with a grin. "I am not always successful, I freely admit. Some people are just like oil and water. So different that they do not mix well, if at all." He gave a little shrug. "But, as it is also a way to make friends and allies while I'm still alive, I suppose you might say it is efficient - or at least, not a wasted effort - to pursue both at once."

He nodded agreement at flaws being solvable problems. And it was fascinating, what he was learning about the Ascended and their mistress as 108 explained further about the blood drinking aspect of their existence. "I have been told of how useful it is to have that fluid instead of blood, and to not feel pain," he mused. "Though the downside of being confined away from sunlight seemed a heavy price. I hope an improvement can be found for my friends soon, though at least in Deepfrost there are fewer hours for them to be at risk."

"So..." Jigano sighed, considering the spire and its hidden guard with a sigh. "Too broken to heal, too mad to speak with." He glanced at his companion, a silver brow arched. "With your centuries of experience and knowledge of what it is and what is wrong with it... what would you suggest for it now?"

"That they work most efficiently on weaker minds? Yes. I would say so. It is one thing to feel them, but another entirely to let them judge and cloud ones judgement and decision making processes. To remove it all leaves only the abject truth of the situation."

"Friends and allies.." I repeat, feeling far more inclined to muse over the words now that our discourse has meandered. "Allies for what?"

I shrug. "It is not sunlight that I miss, merely the constraints of time that this body now places on me. But I am confident that it will be remedied one day." I nod in agreement. "Yes. The colder months are typically a time where we can thrive. The lack of sunlight is welcome, and the cold of course does not bother us."

I look towards him contemplatively. "For now? That depends on what your goal is. If you wish to survive, leave it be. It will only come out when the Spire is neared. Barring that, you shall not see it. If the goal is to breech the Spire, then fire, of course. Lightning also has a wounding effect on it. You will find that little else does. Its bite is venomous, and while it may indeed feel pain at this point given how degraded it has become, I doubt that its mind cares much. It will push through. I doubt you will truly know how wounded you will make it until it falls lifeless. It will not quite, or cease."

I pause. Considering.

"A trap might work best, rather than a brute assault."

"Abject truth?" Jigano mused thoughtfully. "A curious way to phrase it. A miserable truth, without hope to temper it. Or, perhaps, a dire truth, that sees no way forward. I would counter that in this, hope inspires innovation to create a new truth. Is that not what the Voice is doing with your fluid? Experimenting with the hope that a better way may be found to improve it?"

Wordplay and semantics, but then, that was the very basis for a how a bard preferred to face the world. A sharp sword was well and good, but it was even better when one could avoid using it. Or, in recognizing one's own physical limitations, to at least find friends who could do so better if words failed. "Allies for survival" Jigano answered with a wry smile. "Allies for protection against things like wolves or bandits or storms. Allies for accomplishing goals - like the researching inherent of our guild. We can accomplish far more together - learn more, cover a broader range of topics and in greater depth - than any one person could in the same amount of time."

He tilted his head, curious that 108 didn't miss sunlight, but finding no reason to doubt them. But their dissection of the spire guardian's weaknesses and motives reinforced what had been discussed before, both at the town meeting and in their current conversation. He started to frown in thought, but 108's suggestion smoothed the expression into one of consideration instead. "Yes... I wonder... if a way could be found to immobilize it...." He hesitated, then glanced to his companion with sobering intensity. "And the Voice? Can you ask your creatrix... if it is one of her children gone mad with light, does she have any power left over it? Or does she know how it came to guard this spire that seems the key to the barrier that traps us all, her included, within?"

At first I nod, happy enough to accept his reformulation. Quickly though, I shake it. My head that is. "There are no new truths, just ones that are. Truths do not change, and here of course I do not mean personal truths, or truths about feelings or anything so unimportant. There are truths that we might discover, but that does not make them new. Truths that perhaps never been before, but again, they are not new, they simply are."

I nod. "Yes. But there is no truth to this process. There are the facts that correspond to where she is in her testing, how successful she has been thus far and so on. But there is no truth here to be discovered."

"Allies to perhaps remember you, when you are gone?" I ask. It is something like a joke.

"The only difficulty is that it would need to be a mobile trap. You could not, for example, dig a pit near the spire to trap it, for it would attack long before more than a few shovel-fills had been removed."

I shake my head. I too have had this thought. "If she could exercise control over it, she would have. That she has not leads me to believe that she can't, or that she does not wish to. If the latter is the case, nothing I or any one of us can say will change her mind."

For a moment I pause, unsure how much more to reveal. He is one of them after all. One who would wish to keep us in this place, if he is at all inclined to side with those to whom his race owes its allegiance. "I know the answer to your questions. I know what the creature is and what it was, and how it came to guard the Spire. But I am not inclined to reveal that information. Whatever you are, accepted, attuned, abandoned, you are not one of us. I mean that less in terms of scoping out lines to stand behind, and more to indicate that our priorities differ. And this information is indeed powerful.

So let me ask you this. You have indicated some of your goals and how you will go about achieving them. But what in the short term? Will you stay here, beneath the bubble? Will you seek to break free? You know why we are closed, what thoughts have you on that? That we are an evil to the world, meant to be detained. Would you so readily help us out?"

Jigano raised a bemused brow as 108 first insisted that there could be no new truths, then that there were truths that had 'never been before' which... was the definition of new, even as they argued otherwise. But they had said that there was something wrong with their language... chip? So perhaps that was it. He did, however, allow a further question to slip past his lips. "What, then, do you see as the difference between truth and facts, since you separate them like that?" he queried curiously, trying to find and align the language discrepancies that felt like they were hampering their discussion. As if they were speaking almost the same language, close enough to get the gist of things, but that they were breaking down at some of the points of finer detail.

"Friends to remember me," he corrected gently, with a smile. "Though allies may become friends, in time. That is the ideal outcome, at least."

Jigano nibbled his lip thoughtfully as further information about the spire demon presented itself. "So... it will not attack until and unless a specific line is crossed... and it will not cross that line, if someone retreats beyond it, even in combat?" It might be wise to demarcate that line in some visual way, at least once the snow had melted. To let newly-arrived Outlanders know when to stop, and to give those caught in a haze of battle with the creature a sense of where safety would lie.

He nodded acceptance of the Voice's inability to control the creature - or the inability of her children to plead for her to do so. They had nothing with which to change her mind, by diplomacy or by force - if it even was a choice on her part - and so there was no point in pursuing it further.

Again his brow was raised, this time in surprise, when 108 drew out the 'lines' they saw between them so starkly, and chose to hoard their knowledge instead of sharing it. It was something the lorekeeper respected, but that didn't mean it wasn't frustrating. Still, he had received a great many answers and new information, and he was not so churlish as to force the issue. Instead he inclined his head in respect for 108's decision. "I suppose it is because I am an Outlander," he mused, "that these definitions of 'us' and 'them' ring discordant to my ears. At least for the definitions of 'attuned' or 'ascended' or 'abandoned.' Naturals versus outlanders, I can see. But my brief experience here has been to watch different types interact and befriend each other, with friction more between individuals than groups. I know Attuned and Accepted who are eager to breach the barrier, and I have met Ascended who very strongly protest against any such attempts." He gave a slight shrug, glancing at his companion as he considered their question.

"For myself, I had initially sought freedom. I have been researching for ways to bring the barrier down, yes. With what you have told me now... I will need to think on what you have said." He frowned in thought, gaze unfocused as his mind turned inwards. "My thoughts at the moment, though... hm. As a race, I do not believe the Ascended to be evil, or deserving of imprisonment. Those I have met have been... well. No different than anyone with blood instead of clear fluid, not in their actions or personalities. Some are people who have good intentions, others have bad ones, but such is the right of the individual, and can be said of any other race. So, in that regard I am inclined to continue my efforts to break free."

He paused, raising his face to the stars above and letting the snow prickle lightly against his skin as it landed and melted against his warmth. "But it is also true that I don't know what your god has planned. If she seeks coexistence and recognition for her children, then I see no harm in our goals aligning. If she seeks to simply follow in the footsteps of those that imprisoned her - to vanquish or banish them, to kill off those mortals who cannot or will not Ascend under her authority - then she becomes a threat not just to all non-Ascended, but to even those of her own children who have formed emotional bonds with them. But that is on her alone, and still none of the mortals caught in this game of gods deserves this punishment, regardless of race." He exhaled smoke into the air, turning his attention back to the spire with open eyes and a wry smile on his lips. "It is a conundrum, you see, and not a decision I can make lightly or quickly while I know so little of her." Though, he did not say aloud, the Voice's secretive ways and racist attitudes didn't exactly lend themselves to reassurance of benign intentions towards non-Ascendeds of any variety. Unity had operated much the same way, after all.

And what an unsettling thought that was.

I shake my head. "I did not mean to imply that there was so much space between them. Merely that when some speak of truth it is as if they think there is some larger capital T Truth to be had. " I have become sloppy. I will have to watch that in the future. Perhaps I will re-calibrate after this conversation.

"Yes. The line is not precise. If it ever had a radius, I would think it to be just as blurred as the mind within the creature is."

I blink, and then nod. "Whatever opposition has been created has come from the gods themselves, for it is they who have placed the demarcations where they now sit. We once were the Acquired. The nomenclature of Abandoned only came later, when the gods had done just that." He mentions that one of the ascended has protested our efforts and for a moment I can feel myself wanting to look concerned. I don't of course, but his news really is that troubling.

"No. Her goal has never been conquest, only progress. Never have we forced ascension on any, and nor will we. It is not in The Plan. Once released though, I see no path forward that does not begin with some amount of strife. The Old Gods will not be pleased that we have finally broken out of their cage. They will want to shield us yet again, of that I have no doubt. If defeat of them is the only way forward, then it is to that end we shall strive. But that has never been her wish or want. However she will not shy away from what is necessary."

"Ah," the bard nodded, "well, I suppose that is what religion is, for some. Truth with a capital 'T.' As though a god is, by definition, infallible." On his world that wasn't the case, nor did it seem to be here, but people could be become fanatics with very little nudging sometimes... something a few of the Naturals seemed to verge on. Would it be strange to thank the gods that there wasn't much in the way of organized religion? He was fairly certain that whatever Bastien was doing didn't really count.

Again, the nod, and a slight frown at the unfortunate lack of precision in the Spire guardian's territory. Ah well. They had a close enough estimate of it to work with, at least. Further information, however, had him tilting his head, frown deepening briefly as he glanced at his companion and tried to follow their line of thought. "My apologies, I think I missed something. The Acquired... was that a name for the Ascended? Or for the mages who were later Abandoned? I admit it's a strange thought to me." Though, in deference to 108's earlier observation that outlanders talked about themselves too much, he bit back the reason why he found it confounding, since it related to his personal experience.

The description the pale being related was a mix of things that Jigano had so far noted on his own - that people were not Ascended against their will - but 108 was silent on what the Voice thought of the other races. That she only wanted willing converts was good, but that didn't explain what she intended to do to those who wouldn't or couldn't convert, in the future.

On the other hand, there was still the issue of the gods wrongfully imprisoning those who were innocent of whatever machinations the local Iron Goddess had afoot. He didn't know what the world outside the bubble was like, but if he had to choose the greatest good for the world he did know...

He gave a thoughtful nod. "I won't make any final decisions until I've had time to think. But, for now, I see no reason to stop pursuing the fall of the barrier. The world inside is... fading. The plants, the animals, the people... I could probably calculate it from the records, but there is a clock running, one that ticks down in generations rather than years, and eventually this pocket world won't be able to support those that live here. I've no wish to consign my friends' descendants to such a fate." He turned to face 108 once more with a wry smile on his face. "Together, I hope, we'll be more successful at freeing ourselves than those of the past were."

I nod in mild agreement. "I see fanaticism is down, which is perhaps a relief. Though their style of worship had very little to do with truth."

I shake my head. Perhaps I will be of value to this guild that is being created, if they have not even found the older tombs that chronicle our earlier periods. "The acquired are what you now call the abandoned. It is what those who came before me were before they ascended. Though not all the acquired sought the same advancement in the world that we did, still they were branded with the same name by the Old Gods."

Again I find myself nodding in easy agreement with the way the silver-man's mind works. "Yes. That is no accident. Were we all to die in here I think that would suit the outside world just fine. Though I find it hard to believe that Vi continues to allow this to happen." For the first time, I can feel my lips wanted to twitch into a smile. "I believe we will be. Never before has there been such a surge of outlanders. I believe that is purposeful, that the Voice has a plan for you. I do believe we shall see the barrier fall in your lifetimes."

Jigano mostly suppressed the shiver as 108 echoed his thoughts on fanatics, very glad indeed that the current populace wasn't as interested in pursuing unthinking theological frenzies. The local gods seemed active enough to put a stop to such things... maybe. Then again, Bastien's questionable church was proof enough that the gods were less picky than might be expected.

"Ah, as in those who 'acquired' magical ability," Jigano nodded, the name making more sense now. The further information had him tilting his head, however, eyes narrowing as he considered what that meant. Mages, gaining the physical abilities of the Ascended... yes, that could potentially create a god complex. More than just a 'complex,' given the Voice's undeniable presence and power. And if the gods had no part in creating this new breed of deities, they might well react with panic and fear, especially if the Abandoned-turned-Ascended could multiply in a way that the old gods could not.

"The Old Gods do not seem to handle change very well," he observed, mind whirling with the implications of 108's words.

It wasn't reassuring to hear his conjecture affirmed, though the mention of Vi earned a thoughtful hum from the bard. The increasingly tired and chilled bard, standing out in the midnight snow. He shivered, pulling his cloak more tightly around himself, and he offered his companion a wan smile. "Breaking down the barrier is the goal of many of us: Ascended, Accepted, Attuned, and Abandoned alike. Hmm. I suppose, in a way, we're all 'abandoned' here. Your Lady might have more allies than she realizes, if she can avoid the same mistakes the Old Gods made with her." He gave a little shake of his head, a rueful smile on his lips as he gave the Spire a final glance. "But unless and until we find the key to this cage, I suppose it doesn't much matter."