[Training] woke up to all white

We're lost in the space between
who we are and all that we're trying to be

The Sword, determined in his own factions and faculties, didn’t expect the sudden questions. He turned his head over his shoulder, half-distracted from returning the water into its former prowess, brow arching, segmenting, over the details that might have contorted and caused the inquisition. Maybe with the war brewing over the horizon, with its insurmountable wake, the other Abandoned had simply presumed he’d need to find and segment a place for himself. That was part of the problem too – most of the time, the gods didn’t adhere to the incantations in their blood. Too much vitriol from the Voice; from a being who’d had the grace and power, and then sullied it.

“I have met Safrin many times, Ludo several, and nature-Frey infrequently.” Truth and acknowledgment of his luck; though it hadn’t always been that way. Through trials, circumstances, and determination in the stokings of too many things he had to do, had to achieve, for his loved ones; otherwise, he might’ve been much like the others, and ignored them entirely. His eyes went downward for a moment, inspecting the snow and rime, pondering how he’d left it. “My loyalty is to Safrin – who, despite my magical abilities, has still patiently listened, advised, and guided me.” And he certainly hadn’t made it easy for the herald. “Your question is one I have asked myself many times.” Because he had Kiada, and several others, within the realm of the Ascended: friends, family, bonded armaments and filaments he didn’t want to lose. “I have no problem with the Ascended. It is the Voice that has earned my ire.”

DEIMOS

Stop trying to show how to save our souls
It takes dying to know
How to live as ghosts

"If I can't move the heavens above, I will move Hell" Sah's 'brow furrowed as he listened intently. He had no idea that Deimos had met all of the old god heralds. Nature Frey had caught his attention as soon ash he heard of her, and if Deimos was loyal to Safrin, he doubted it was without reason. "What are nature Frey and Safrin like? And if you don't mind me asking, how exactly did Safrin earn your trust?" Sah asked quietly, curious as to the other Abandoned's take on the two.  Sah was thankful that Deimos was actually answering his questions and not brushing him off. He'd been afraid of invoking the soldier's ire with his inquiries. And it did soothe Sah somewhat to hear that Deimos was in a similar situation in regards to the Ascended. If the man had gone on  a tangent about them being unnatural or worthy of genocide, Sah would have lost all respect for him. He may have even attacked, and if so, would have certainly been killed. Sah did however notice how Deimos didn't answer his last question, but figured that the soldier would get to it eventually. At least, Sah wasn't ending the conversation until he got answer to that one. Sah sighed, his heart heavy. "I've heard that a few times. But one can't make an enemy of the Voice without making an enemy of the Ascended. How have you managed to stay close with them if the Voice is so clearly your enemy?" The idea that it might be possible at all gave him hope, but Sah had doubts that such a thing was even possible. One thing still tugged at his mind though. "What did the Voice do to make an enemy of you?" sah There stood the wolf in the winter wind Full of fearsome might There stood the wolf in the winter wind King of the winter night. -Tim Vallie

We're lost in the space between
who we are and all that we're trying to be

Not all; but a majority. The Sword avoided the other proportions of Frey like the plague. While Sah seemed to speculate into silence, the monolith fell into the same accord, though it was only to meander through his bag, ensuring everything was in place. When the Abandoned prospered more filaments, the monolith gestured with one hand to some nearby boulders jutting out of the tundra, because this was likely to be a long session. A lot of history. A lot of dominions. A lot of proportions designated in all directions.

Once settled upon his own, the beast looked across, back to the other. “Nature Frey seems very obliging. They have twice permitted for Halo to prosper: once with the Citadel’s temperature alteration, and now with the greenhouse.” Of which they had all benefitted: keeping the Deepfrost chill out of their veins, and now the proper adornments for their own supplies. He leaned forward, prospering one elbow on his knee, pondering forth more of the preambles, the justifications for why - understandable, given his status as one of those who were detested too. Deimos had simply never cared about the weight of shame he was supposed to have carried – utilizing his emblems and enchantments for protection, for shielding, and only the occasional derision. “Safrin is vain, but willing to listen. She Attuned me. And has, on many occasions, reminded me of exactly where I need to tread.” In the back of his mind, a living coming to herald like a blade once more. To get out of his own head, and out of his own way. To take, rather than meander haphazardly, complacently, in a world where too many did the same.

As for those snared and gnarled towards the New God? He could cherish: had done so, with Rexanna, with Kiada, and with comrades in arms. It hadn’t been about their status or what ran in their blood; but who they were. Their choices had been their own, just the same as his. A quieter tone settled, but the rumble across the rime was still there, postured for Sah. “Some of them are family. Or friends. They are all individuals, just the same as those not tied to the Voice.” He loathed some that were close to the Old Gods (Sunjata, specifically, came to mind). His fury and wrath weren’t upon them, but the way everything else had proceeded.

A deep sigh flickered through on the last inquiry, because there was much to say, and conversation had never been one of his favored duties. “The monsters at LongNight were once her experiments, that she allowed loose to prowl. They tortured, tormented, and killed off several comrades, and should not have been allowed to persist in the first place.” Why allow them to remain? Why permit them to continue beseeching the world? Demons, to wound, to maim, to rip, to tear? Deimos blinked, memories circulating and cycling back through. “The Ascended attacked the Mathair, one of the Fae’s god trees, in order to access a portal. When some of the Fae intervened, they were killed.” For defending something of their own. For striving to uphold their prowess, their land, their home. “She also caused the blight, which was a sickness, and some of my closest friends were affected.” Kiada, drawn into attacking and assaulting him. All of them trying so hard to piece together the mystery, to cease and desist the distress. “I have reason to believe she instigated the last one too, where many of us, including myself, were ill.” Because it had hallmarks of her work – even if her own had been affected. What better way to hide it in plain sight, than to ensure some of her brethren contracted it too?  “Her latest happened to be the raising of the dead – and while I am grateful that some were allowed the choice to return, they are now under her tether.” And would never be able to return to what they once were. “I am not certain if it was to increase her army, for the inevitable fight, but that is my guess.”

DEIMOS

Stop trying to show how to save our souls
It takes dying to know
How to live as ghosts

"If I can't move the heavens above, I will move Hell" Sah sat down across from Deimos, watching the soldier's expressions intently as he spoke. This topic was too important to only take things at face value. Sah had known about Frey's input with the greenhouse but he hadn't know that the goddess also played a hand with the temperature. Obliging indeed. It sounded like at least one god was working towards improving welfare in Caido. Sah's brow furrowed as Deimos spoke of Safrin. The phrase 'reminded me of exactly where I need to tread' caught his attention in particular. Deimos seemed to mean guidance, but it sounded almost like manipulation. Sah really hoped it wasn't. He fully agreed with Deimos on how he viewed the Ascended, nodding along as he spoke. But it was Deimos' next words that Sah hung onto. The crimes, pain, and devastation that the Voice had so clearly brought. Sah had had no idea. His teeth clenched at the thought. No wonder Deimos hated the Voice. But the idea that the Voice brought the blight didn't sit right with him. Everything he'd heard previously while in Caido showed how much the Voice strove to preserve the Ascended. He'd have to look further into it. For now though, he continued to listen. When Deimos paused, Sah let out a long, heavy sigh. "It seems that gods are the same everywhere." He stated simply. Carving paths for their followers to follow, guiding the world to what they want, no matter the consequences. Manipulating both people and the future. Yet favoring and protecting some individuals and groups. Truly, many of the gods of his world were the same. Sah tilted his head back, eyeing the sky. He felt heavy, emotional exhaustion lacing every muscle. "I hate this." Sah glanced back at Deimos. "I understand as best as I can for someone hearing it secondhand. The Voice does sound horrible. But if we fight her, where will that leave the Ascended?" His tone grew steely, almost staring down Deimos. "I won't participate in genocide. How the fuck do you destroy a goddess without massacring her people? Especially when the gods you have sworn yourself to want the massacre." For better or worse, this was the deciding issue for Sah. The Voice had committed heinous crimes. The old gods wanted to destroy an entire people. Manipulation and deceit seemed to surround both. It was madness and Sah had never been more homesick. The goddess he had served, Mune, hadn't been perfect. She'd made mistakes and pulled strings just as every other god. But she had been blatantly transparent with Sah and his kind. Perhaps it was the same with the Voice and the Ascended? The same kind of bond? But Mune had never committed such crimes. At least, none that Sah knew about. Was it possible? Had she without him knowing? sah There stood the wolf in the winter wind Full of fearsome might There stood the wolf in the winter wind King of the winter night. -Tim Vallie

We're lost in the space between
who we are and all that we're trying to be

And Sah was right – in at least the worlds Deimos had lived within. Keen to do what they wanted with mortals, with parallels, with aspects of maneuvering pawns, and each one of them was damned and due to be one, regardless. Where they were pitted against one another, where one would topple, one would yield, or if the cycle would persist and continue once more: some of them locked away, trapped, inside a bubble for hundreds of years.

So the beast nodded and listened, his stare resolute. The echoes and reverberations were things he’d conspired and calculated too, but he didn’t have the right answers. He wasn’t certain anyone did. They could strive for peace, but for how long? Until the Old Gods had enough? Until the Voice orchestrated something else to level the playing field? “I do not know. It has been something I have mulled over for a long time now.” He sighed, chin resting in the palm of his hand, gaze now gesturing towards the ice, the rime, the snow; figments far less complex than the realm shaping around them. “Many have come to the same conclusions. What do we do?”

Did they permit the Voice to continue her escalations? Did they warrant other proportions, as Juniper had strived to do in her trial? “I have tried to come with ideas for items, or means to ensure some survival without the Voice. Others have bargained, and it has not gone well.” There within was the crisis: Sah had reached the points and fixtures of convictions within multitudes, and where they were supposed to be drawing the line. “Because in a way, that is manipulation too. They are a shield before her.”

DEIMOS

Stop trying to show how to save our souls
It takes dying to know
How to live as ghosts

"If I can't move the heavens above, I will move Hell" Sah sighed, eyeing the world around them contemplatively. It was reassuring that Deimos was trying to find a solution that would preserve the Ascended. And it further strengthened his trust and respect in the older man. It was clear that the gods were steadfast in their divides, especially given that bargaining had apparently ended poorly. The old and new refused to coexist, both manipulating their sides. Both wanting their people to destroy those which were loyal to the other gods. The fact that the Ascended were reliant on the Voice for life itself was indeed manipulative and left a bad taste in Sah's mouth. A conclusion was beginning to rise within him, one that would likely further cement his Abandonedness. "When you say bargain, I'm assuming people have appealed to both the old and new? I heard that Vi was merciful, if even he is wants all of the Ascended destroyed..." Sah snarled, frustration building. sah There stood the wolf in the winter wind Full of fearsome might There stood the wolf in the winter wind King of the winter night. -Tim Vallie

We're lost in the space between
who we are and all that we're trying to be

Reassuring for some perhaps; but certainly not on the Sword. His sketches hadn’t pierced anything to fruition, and the very nature of some aspects meant he couldn’t properly orchestrate what he wanted to do. Even his creative efforts had limitations, and between recent events, all of the weight had lingered back on his shoulders. It didn’t help that he very infrequently asked for support or assistance, leaving the festering wakes to linger in only his mind, and no one else’s. Perhaps this was a better opportunity. “If you have ideas, I am all ears.” An alternative perspective, rather than eternally his.

More questions, more inquiries, more vitality to a perplexing dilemma. He tilted his head another fraction, before gazing along the tundra once more. “I know of appeals to the Old Gods. I am not certain if anyone has tried with the Voice.” He certainly hadn’t – and had no intention of doing so.

DEIMOS

Stop trying to show how to save our souls
It takes dying to know
How to live as ghosts

Sah

The wind howls
I answer

"Finding an alternative to fluid is crucial but daunting." Sah stated with frustration, but some ideas arose nonetheless. "Has anyone tried to break down fluid? Figure out it's core ingredients? Perhaps it can be... what's that term... reverse....reverse made? Reverse created? Hell, I can't remember. But breaking something down to learn how to make it yourself. That's what I'm getting at. I know fluid is volatile to handle for anyone  but an Ascended.  If one of them did it through, or if one of them were guided by a professional? We might have a chance." It was an incredibly far stretch of an idea. But it was all he could come up with.

Sah sighed heavily when Deimos told him about the gods. So even Vi was against peace. Sah might try to appeal to some of the gods himself if he worked up the nerve. "Deimos, what would one offer to the gods if thy were to visit them? Such as Safrin or Frey, would would the likely accept? And how should an Abandoned approach them?" He swallowed heavily. The idea of visiting one of Caido's gods was overwhelming, but given everything, it might be necessary.

The storm rages
I conquer

We're lost in the space between
who we are and all that we're trying to be

Could there be alternatives to fluid? Some other synthetic design? While Sah began to contemplate out loud, Deimos concocted a piece of parchment and charcoal in his hands, writing down the notions to either be savored, ruminated upon, or deciphered, across his knee. From there he glanced at its particulars, mind having to calculate and form in differing arrays. He was a soldier through and through, and the semblances, the thoughts, of investigating the materials that made up the components of an Ascended had never really come into his cranium. “Is it possible to do so?” More of a murmur, uncertain, brows furrowing. Phoebe had once investigated and ruminated upon the patchwork nuances of the blight – but that’d been years before.

He stared and pondered, wiling away a sigh beginning to form in his chest again. “The problem remains if the core ingredients are not something we can make. If it is only created by the Voice.” A pause there in too; reality scoring and scorching – not to dissuade the other man, but to examine each angle. “Or if any of them would be willing.” Last time he’d been granted fluid for that damned door had resulted in a disaster, and death of his best friend by his own plots and tactics. The Sword wouldn’t be the one doing the convincing, that was for certain.

But in other designations, the monolith could lift his head, eyes a bit wearier, body a bit more weighed down by the prospects. They were far better ideas than he’d composed, but going about arranging them could prove to be difficult. Discussing the offerings of gods conjured and flickered easier, and the low rumble exuded once more. “Safrin prefers things appealing to her beauty or power.” A few embers pooled from his incantations, sparking upwards towards the sky in an array of stars. “Nature Frey seemed to enjoy food we brought. Fruits, that sort of thing.” Harvest concoctions, and in the haze of summer it could be easier to snag at jungle filaments.

How should an Abandoned approach was a wise question though, and one he’d learned through trial after trial after trial. “Be prepared to either be ignored, cursed, or treated with disdain. Some are far more forbearing than others, but do not rise to anger.” Reminders of Jigano and his inevitable motions towards Safrin, and what happened thereafter, played through his head. To a temper, to a flare; it’d be tempting, if and when the insults began – but if Sah was careful, they may not happen at all. “Your patience is key too.”

DEIMOS

Stop trying to show how to save our souls
It takes dying to know
How to live as ghosts

Sah

The wind howls
I answer

Sah hummed. "If the materials can only be found through the voice, then the same issue does remain. But if a synthetic form of the ingredients is also  possible, maybe? It's be incredibly difficult, both to do, and to get a volunteer for." It was a far-fetched idea for sure. But it could certainly be one to work on while other solutions were brainstormed and pursued. Even more far-fetched would be if the presence of synthetic fluid as a food source lessened the fear of the anti-Ascended.

Hearing Deimos speak of the gods, had Sah's brow furrowing. He wasn't sure what he could offer that would fit Safrin's tastes. However he could certainly explore and acquire something for Nature Frey. Given his history and that fact alone, if Sah did choose to visit one of the old gods, it likely would be Nature Frey.  Sah found himself gritting his teeth as it became increasingly clear of the  uphill battle he would face should he attempt to contact one of Caido's gods. It was frustrating, and he worried slightly about his temper. He would have to do his best to remain calm.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he turned to Deimos. "Thank you. For the training and the advice." Truly, Sah was grateful for the other Abandoned's willing counsel. It seemed that he would have to make the trip. "I hope you can figure something out with the fluid. Meanwhile I think I'll start preparing to visit the gods. Likely Nature Frey.  Wish me luck." And with that he stood up, brushing snow and ice from himself. with one last nod at Deimos, he made the trek home, too restless to remain and speak any longer.  

{FIN}

The storm rages
I conquer