From being an Abandoned who had rarely left the Hollowed Grounds, to embracing the call of adventure, to dying and being reborn first as an Ascended and then as an Ancient, Maea has gone through quite the amount of changes in her life. One thing remains common, though, in her attempts to find out just where she belongs; she’s always had a craving for knowledge which has brought her to so many places and to meet so many people here in Caido. We can’t wait to see what else is in store for her!
Congratulations, Maea!
Credits
Court of the Fallen was created in October of 2018 by Odd, Honey, and Crooked.
Skinning and hosting by the epically talented Kaons, and functionality fanciness by the coding magic of Neowulf. If you ever see either of them around, make sure to show them some love!
but the thing is, even if i could go back, i wouldn't belong there anymore
Aurelia looks down, shoulders dropping, and her expression becomes defeated, confused, torn in all the different directions as she is right now. Her lips part and she searches for words, but struggles to fully verbalize them for a few moments. Eventually, she just shakes her head. "I don't know, Maeve," she admits with thinly-veiled exasperation.
Maeve has all of this love to give, and all she can think is that she's sorely lacking in that department. "I can't tell you 'I'm ready to try again', I can't tell you what you want to hear, I can't promise anything, and don't you deserve better than that?" Her hand splays out toward the other woman in a vague gesture before it snaps back to her lap, where it feels idle and useless.
"There's all this shit going on right now, and I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. I don't know who to trust, who's on what side of... everything!" Her gaze locks back onto Maeve's sharply. A frown falls across her features and she sighs heavily, knowing that those words are just another mistake on her part. Another thing said or done the wrong way.
She sinks back into the chair gently. Another moment of honesty manages to find its way through all this darkness, her voice lowering until it's barely above a whisper, "I need a friend, more than anything, but is that going to be enough for you?"
Even without an attuned bond to connect them, Maeve feels the way Aurelia is overwhelmed, tasting uncertainty on her tongue. The air is thick with it and it weighs so heavily on both of them. Fires, war, revenge, old gods, new gods, and everything in between. All of them tangled up in this web and trying so desperately to figure themselves out, wanting nothing more than to snag little moments for themselves because what else were they meant to do?
With a movement that is perhaps too quick, Maeve kneels, seizing her hands to grasp the tips of her fingers gently. A gentle understanding swims in her eyes, expression soft and open as she gazes up at Aurelia, trying her best to offer some semblance of comfort. "Hey.. hey.. I'm not asking you for that, okay? I'm not trying to get you to commit to something you can't handle. All I want is a chance at building a relationship with you. That includes a friendship. It's a starting point." She murmurs, bringing both of them down into something softer and less frantic as her thumb brushes across her knuckles.
"It's okay. I know there is a lot going on. I've got a lot on my plate too. There is nothing saying we can't figure shit out together, is there?" It's a delicate prod. A tender reminder that Maeve isn't on a different side than her. Perhaps she's not in the thick of things, but she's not against what Aurelia is doing. Even if the methods she used before were hard for her to understand. Part of her worries for Hotaru, fearing what may happen to her, but surely the woman knew the risks in being there? Believing otherwise made no sense.
Maeve leans forward, pressing a kiss to the tips of her fingers before she draws back, not releasing her yet. "If that's what you need right now, then that's what I'll be. I can wait, Aurelia. I'm a patient person. If you need me then I'll be there. All I want is a chance." She looks up at her beneath dark lashes, sincerity clear in her features as she waits for the woman's answer.
If you're a lover, you should know The lonely moments just get lonelier
06-14-2021, 09:50 PM (This post was last modified: 06-14-2021, 09:50 PM by Aurelia.)
but the thing is, even if i could go back, i wouldn't belong there anymore
It is a bit too quick. Maeve will find that Aurelia's hands instinctively flinch, some measure of frayed ability to trust bleeding into the small fraction of movement. But she relaxes upon finding the understanding is still strong within Maeve's green gaze. A long breath expels from her nostrils as she nibbles the inside of her cheeks, silenced by Maeve's tenderness, watching her thumb make idle strokes.
The sentiment of figuring shit out together just seems too good to be true at times like this. Aurelia thinks she's lucky she's still got any allies left after everything that happened. Whether or not she believes her actions were right isn't really what this is all about. Right or wrong.. it's a bit late for that, but... there is a chance that line can be mend, renewed.
A kiss across the tips of her fingers sends a pulse up through her hands, stirring her blood for just a piece of a moment. Her expression softens from its conflicted roots but, at first, she looks away. "I'm not going to keep punishing you for my own faults, Maeve, so if that's something you want.. then..." her gaze swivels back to the woman's elegant face, and her brows furrow, "then we can figure it out together."
Her throat feels dry as she lets the acceptance sink in, wondering if this is the right thing or not. Still, she's hoping that she can trust herself. "I didn't realize what I'd done to you, when I left. I'm sorry for that. From now on.. you'll always have a choice, at least.. when it comes to me, alright? I won't make decisions for you again. But that means we have to be upfront with each other... I have to be more honest with you, about how I'm.. feeling, and everything," she shakes her head minutely, feeling awkward about that, "It's not easy, for me. I want to work on it, though, and then maybe..." she bites at her cheek a little harder, searching Maeve's gaze for that understanding, hoping that it remains.
It's easy to see just how hard Aurelia is trying. Even as she flinches at her touch, freezing and moving to draw away before forcing herself to relax, letting out a breath. Maeve feels that worry swirling in her belly all over again. Concern that she's pushed too much, asked for too much, is too much. Aurelia looks at her after the kiss is pressed to the tips of her fingers, a bit of that protective wall she's put up crumbling, letting Maeve in more and more. The moment is quiet and raw, wrapping them up in it, sweetening the air despite the anxiousness that hangs between them. Her own heart thunders in her ears, drowning out all other sound as she gazes up at her, waiting for the Arbiter to make her verdict.
A smile curls on her lips. It's small, but bright, lighting up her eyes as she nods. "That's all I want, Aurelia. I just want to try." She murmurs, giving her hands another gentle squeeze, swallowing thickly against the knot that seems to catch in her throat now. So much swirling in her belly that she doesn't even know where to start to untangle it. She doesn't even know if she can.
The apology isn't expected, but none of this was expected. Not a single thing that's happened between them has ever been expected. Maeve licks her suddenly dry lips, drawing in a shuddering breath, "It's okay... I forgive you. As long as you give me a choice... As long as you promise to try and be open with me and I promise the same then I think we have a chance at something." She tells her, voice barely more than a whisper between them as she scoots a touch closer, "I know it isn't easy and you trying means more to me than you know..." That understanding that Aurelia hopes to see is still there in her eyes, swirling in the green of her irises as she gazes up at the other woman, gripping her hands a little tighter.
If you're a lover, you should know The lonely moments just get lonelier
but the thing is, even if i could go back, i wouldn't belong there anymore
That's all she wants. A relieved sigh expels from Aurelia's lungs, and with it the stress of everything else feels a bit lifted too. Even if Maeve is still on that long, ever-growing list of people she's hurt, at least... at least this time she's doing something to make up for it. If all that means is friendship for the time being. As long as Maeve is willing to forgive her, then she can rest a little easier. A chance to grow, though, is something she can't turn away from no matter how hard it feels to push through.
But growing together is better than growing apart. She leans in a little, moving her hands over Maeve's now, nodding once in earnest: "I promise." If anything, this proves that the things she thinks are lost... might not actually be. And there is a lot of that in her life - and there probably will be more in the future, if she can judge based off of the past.
Her and Maeve will likely talk for a little while longer. Of course, Maeve will be needed eventually and they'll part ways - for now. Aurelia departs with the promise of seeing her again soon.
