all i've got is time until the end of time
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
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Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#15
arms give away your need
Ronin has absolutely no right to be angry. He'd sired a child with Safrin, after all. (Accidentally. In a dream. Not realising it was real, or that there would be a toddler on his doorstep not long after). And yet, the blackness beneath his feet continues to infect everything around him, spidering out across the water and creeping up onto the peaks of the snow-capped mountains, shrouding them in shadow.

"I see," he says, his voice wavering in a way he doesn't expect. I will do whatever I can for her, and the baby.

Well isn't that just downright noble.

"I don't really care," he mumbles without being able to stop himself. He doesn't care if Hotaru is a hybrid. He doesn't care if she can get to Stormbreak, doesn't care if Remi dreamed with her or fucked her again in the time when Ronin has been away. Not like he can get her pregnant a second time right now, is it?

"We said no feelings," he mutters, a hand dragging back through his hair in a movement more violent than anything. "When... When we said that I assumed the worst that would happen would be you falling in love again. I've been able to deal with that before." Loren, Ianto, Isla, even Finn.

"You've started a family with someone else."
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
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Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#16
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
Unlike before, now the tone of Ronin's voice does cause Remi to bristle, even though it's soft. The lack of barbs is what does it, ultimately. Remi had expected violence. He'd expected the world to errupt in chaos and fire. He'd expected—and wanted, even—some sort of fight. Something to wear them out, some way that Ronin might expel the things that needed releasing before they could properly talk.

Surprised by the accusation, Remi stiffens and stands straighter, unhappy to have to moor himself in this frozen tide that threatened to break at any moment. 'You know I do not have feelings for her.' He replies, straining to keep his tone even, even as he misunderstands what it is Ronin means. 'I haven't.' Remi barks, more forcefully than he intends. "A child with someone does not make you family." Pausing, the alchemist's brows raise almost accusatorily. Because if it did, then dream sex or not, the ties between Star and Safrin were suddenly might tighter than he'd ever thought.

"It...was unintentional, clearly." He mumbles, pressing his palm against one of his eyes and rubbing vigorously. "But what does it change?"
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#17
arms give away your need
"I never said that you did. But you have a child with her, and if you didn't have feelings for that child, then we wouldn't be having this conversation," Ronin says softly, taking another step back away from his husband. Around him now is a sea of ink, the Star adrift in his own swarming feelings. And at the look thrown his way, Ronin raises his eyebrows right back at the other man. "Sorry, are we about to make what's happening about something I've done? Just want to make that clear before we go any further."

Why is his temper fraying so quickly? Why does it hurt so much? All questions that Ronin simply can't answer, the Star shaking his head at his husband. "I don't know, Remi - what does it change? You tell me." Since he brought it up. "Do you just disappear at random to take care of your other child and its mother? Spend some evenings curled up by the fire in Halo and others running your shop here?"
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#18
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
'I was just trying to put things into perspective.' Remi replies, and though his anger wants to flare, the darkness the ebbs from the Star is enough to dissuade him from arguing further. Whatever Ronin had done, whatever Remi thought of the situation, this was his fault. This was something that he had done. A situation he'd forced them into, and for all of his excuses and things he might say, he'd not let himself lose sight of that.

Not more than he already had.

'Ronin,' Stepping forward and then forward again, the sea beneath his feet feels both slick and sludgy at the same time. Cold, and yet broiling. "You are right. The logistics...will be complicated." He admits freely, taking another step toward the Star despite how the ground seems to want to halt him in place, and then drown him in fire. "I was careless and short-sighted. I didn't..." With an imploring look, he pulls in a breath and forces himself to swallow down every excuse that still wants to brandish itself like a shield before him. "..I was careless and reckless. I will do anything and everything I can do make that up to you." Gods but his chest hurts. Were this not a dream, Remi might have thought he was having a heart attack. Pressing at the scar tissue that swamps his chest absently, Remi bits at the inside of his cheek hard that he might refocus his thoughts.

'I can't not be in my child's life. And I cannot undo what I have already done. What I meant...about what it changes, I meant between you and I. You are still the only one I want. The consequences of the things I have done do not change that." That they might change for Ronin is not something the alchemist has ever considered.

Not until this moment, anyway.
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#19
arms give away your need
"Don't. Please." Ronin holds up a hand in a warning as Remi starts to walk towards him, backing up further into the swarming blackness that has taken over much of the dreamscape behind him. "Don't - if you touch me, I... I can't hide anything. And I..." And I don't want you to know how I'm feeling. And I don't want to feel you being happy about this child.

Shaking his head, he pinches at the bridge of his nose then lets his hands drop to his sides. Something twists in his guts and claws up the back of his throat, and were they not in a dream Ronin might have turned to throw up the little he'd eaten before the fight with the bone monster. Alas, all he can do is exist here. "I hate this," he whispers, and the words are like a permission, something that allows him to make sense of everything his subconscious is manifesting around them. "I hate everything about this. I'm not sure there's anything you can do to change that."

Remi's words hurt more than the admission about Hotaru's pregnancy, honestly, and the Star has to turn away, wiping at his cheeks with the back of his hand. "It isn't that I don't feel the same, I just... I need some time. This is a lot. I don't... I can't pretend things are okay, because they're not."
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#20
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
Remi stops, but it's a slow and unhappy stillness. "We promised to be honest." He points out in a low voice. If Ronin needed time to process things, that was something the alchemist could understand. But to want to intentionally keep his feelings to himself? Dread, like concrete, builds in Remi's feet and calves, freezing him in place.

"I know how you feel." If it's unfair, Remi doesn't mean for it to be. He's quite certain that once upon a time, he'd uttered all but the same words in a situation not dissimilar to this one, but from the opposite side of things. He'd said things like, It's already done, and just left Ronin to deal with the flat finality of it. Now, with tables turned, Remi feels sick to think how he'd left the Star to navigate the situation on his own.

'I do not want you to pretend," Remi implores, striding after the Star and reaching out a hand for his shoulder. He ensures that if he should make contact, it will not be against his husband's skin. 'But I do not want you to be alone with this. If you are going to hate me for this, I would rather be here to be hated.'

Naive, stupid, ignorant, or just plain blind and entitled, Remi had never expected things to go like this. Just as with Sunjata's dream-death, Remi's interpretation of events and their consequences did not match up to reality it would seem. Only this time, it wasn't a slightly more-than-an-acquaintance who he needed forgiveness from. It was Ronin. His everything. His only one. 'Please Ronin.'
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#21
arms give away your need
"We did promise to be honest. That doesn't mean we have to purposely hurt each other," Ronin points out, and the laugh that huffs out of him to hear that Remi knows how he feels is almost a sob. "I don't think you do," he mumbles, his tone almost worried, though whether he fears for himself or fears for Remi is another matter entirely. "You've been in this position, I know. But I don't think... I'm not sure you felt like this." Seren had arrived on her own two feet, toddling and talking and inquistive.

This was a newborn. This was a life that was not yet fully formed. A life so very easily snuffed out before it could cause problems. "Remi." He tries to tug away as the hand comes reaching for his shoulder, but the alchemist can follow him anywhere he likes, especially in the territory of their dreams. "What? Hate you? I don't hate you." He rubs at his forehead.

"So am I expected to just... process this with you around? Just going about my day like normal, like nothing has happened?" That isn't fair, he wants to say, but he doesn't.
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#22
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
Wringing his hands together, Remi regards the sky for a moment as his knuckles grow white. It wouldn't change anything, to argue with Ronin about whether or not he did or could understand, and so he didn't bother. Releasing his interlocked fingers, he rakes a hand through his curls, daring the star-lit icicles to fall from the heavens and blind him.

"I did not say that." The words are a whisper that boast of being a scream despite how pathetic they sound. "I never said to go about your day as if things were normal. Just not to push me out. Scream if you like. Hit me. Break this entire world down. Tell me I have ruined things. Tell me you ought to leave me, as I left you. Tell me I do not deserve your love or forgiveness. Say that you want to hate this child, but cannot. Tell me I am an idiot." Remi's voice rises by degrees as the words spill faster and faster from his lips.

"Kill me a thousand times here with how you are feeling. Just..let me be here with you."
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#23
arms give away your need
"No - you don't understand--" Ronin begins, before Remi is talking and the Star can do little more than stand and listen to it all, until the cogs in his mind are whirring too quickly for him to keep up. He just needs some space, a little time to let the darkest parts of him settle, to rise above it so he doesn't do or say or think the things he's already thinking. But even as the entire dreamscape is swallowed up into the blackest parts of Ronin's psyche, his husband is still pressing to be here and be around him and finally it all just bubbles over.

"Remi!" Ronin snaps, the fingers of one of his hands half raked through his dark hair, the other clapping around the alchemist's wrist. And it roars through them both, taking shape around them in warbling, bubbling swathes of fog. Sometimes it's a blanket of stars and a whispered request into an ear that he's sure will listen: make this go away. Other times it's an imagined, snowy little hollow in the Citadel and death arriving on fiery wings. It's violence and horror and all of those things in the Star that make him dark, and it's relentless.

"I do hate this child," he whispers. "I don't just want to - I do. It's not fair, and it's not right, and don't want it, but it's still true." I hate your child, Remi, for not being ours.
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#24
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
It's like being branded.

Fingers associated with pleasure and playfulness wrap tightly around Remi's wrist, scouring his senses with needlepoints of fire and darkness. It's murder and madness and it settles far too comfortably against the alchemist's bones for Remi to be anything close to horrified by it. If anything, his mind threatens to encourage it, wants to dare Ronin to dream a bit darker. To whisper the words that accompany falling snow and the fire that turns it all to ice and ash.

Unsure if Ronin has ever said that he hates anyone before, Remi can only nod softly in the wake of his husband's admission, feeling permanently marked and changed. Gently he pulls his wrist back that Ronin might not feel compelled to keep himself in check. "I think...if not hate, you will end up resenting me.." There is a painful softness to Remi's voice, like a feather being softly tugged against a newly sharpened blade. It cuts so easily with silent precision, leaving nothing but two perfectly symmetrical pieces falling to the floor. Not wanting to but forcing himself just the same, Remi raises his sea glass stare to regard his husband with a gaze he hoped didn't seem as hopeless as he suddenly felt.
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#25
arms give away your need
"I tried to tell you--" Ronin's hand slips away from Remi's, his tears falling silently, his breath coming in shaky gasps. The darkness around them roars its anger, seething and writhing, and the Star can do little more than shove his hands in his pockets and do his best to ignore it. He'd tried to warn the alchemist that he didn't want to see into him right now, he'd tried to get enough space to let it all die down. But this is all there is, and what's done is done.

Shaking his head, it's through glassy eyes that he meets his husband's gaze. "No," he mumbles. "No, I love you. That's not something that will ever change. I know it wasn't intentional. It was stupid and reckless and you're an absolute fucking idiot and I hate the situation you've put us in, and I love you." He sniffs.
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#26
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
'No, that is not why—' Remi gives his head a half-hearted shake. "I just wish I could take it from you. That...I could make it easier. I wish time wasn't what you needed." He confesses with a sigh.

With an equally tear-blurred gaze, Remi's expression wanders between uncertain and hopeful. It's the latter that hurts the most, and though Ronin ends with an I love you, that the world remains a darkened and terrible place, that the Star stays where he is, does not relieve the tension in Remi's gut that threatens to make him vomit.

"Tell me what you want." He all but begs, taking a small step closer. "What you need. I will go if you ask, I just.." Remi's lips form an indecisive s as the skin around his eyes tightens. "..gods Ronin, I love you so much. Più di quanto potrei mai dire." It doesn't matter that the Star won't understand the words; the sentiment is laced through each syllable until they're all bound together.

Taking another step, suddenly weary and wanting nothing but Ronin's lips against his, Remi swallows hard reminding himself that that was not how they solved their problems anymore.
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.
Ronin Taliesin
the Supernova


Age: 34 | Height: 5'10 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 14 - Strg: 58 - Dext: 70 - Endr: 58 - Luck: 79 - Int: 3
SUGAR - Mythical - Dragon (Ice Breath)
Played by: Honey Offline
Change author:
Posts: 6,097 | Total: 16,313
MP: 3061
#27
arms give away your need
"But you can't," Ronin whispers. "You can't take it away, even though I wish you could too." Swiping at his eyes, little difference that it will make, he lets out a shuddering breath that has the darkness around them blanking free of any spectres or horrors, leaving him in the inky black soup of his emotions. He needs what he has needed since he spoke the words the first time, Ronin shaking his head helplessly as if not wanting to hurt Remi with the truth of it.

But if nothing more, he can at least make it less of a yawning unknown. "I need a week," he says softly. "I just... I need a week to be a terrible person. To get my head straight. I can... I don't mind going somewhere. Or you can go to Hotaru for a bit, I..." It's laughable, to think that he can admit to hating the life growing inside her, but simultaneously offer the logical choice to his husband when it comes to this.

"I love you too," he whispers, and when Remi doesn't close the distance between them, Ronin makes the choice instead. His lips don't seek out the alchemist's, but he holds him tightly enough that he feels like he ought to apologise.
tie them up and around me
and play me as you please
RONIN
Remi Taliesin
the Bastion


Age: 31 | Height: 5'11 | Race: Demi-god | Nationality: Outlander | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 15 - Strg: 68 - Dext: 60 - Endr: 100 - Luck: 93 - Int: 3
ORIA - Mythical - Spriggan (Ghost)
Played by: Odd Offline
Change author:
Posts: 10,723 | Total: 16,193
MP: 3059
#28
the lullaby
And if the sky grows heavy
wrap your arms around me tight; we'll be alright
A week.

It feels like an eternity and a death sentence all in one, but nevertheless, Remi nods instantly. "No, I...Mateo and I will stay in the Woods. I have work to do there, and I am sure Vai won't mind." His arms shake from the tension in his muscles. "Whatever you need, Ronin." He doesn't want to say what comes next, but he will; it would be unfair to do otherwise. "Whatever. Whoever." It was how Ronin processed before. And in the wake of this, it made sense.

Ronin's embrace feels forced, and though Remi wants to clutch him close as he had done in their kitchen, the arms he folds around his husband's back are gentle. The body against his doesn't feel real or desiring to be close, and so it is that Remi quickly lets go of Ronin, only to turn his head over his shoulder to regard the sky. The tears that sting his eyes and fall down his cheeks feel like something he doesn't want to share with Ronin just now. Not when the Star doesn't want him around.

"Okay, well...I'll..." The dream shivers and breaks as cracks of white and grey nothingness slice through the landscape. Ronin is the one hurting and though this is a reasonable request, though Remi is the cause of all of this, gods but this hurts. Time apart has never been good for them, so to ask for it only spells out doom in Remi's mind. Still though, with a shiver of dread, Remi releases his hold over Ronin's slumbering mind. When the Star awakes, dusty and softly placed in his bed, Remi will have already gone.

~FIN
If the ground gives way beneath us,
If we should fall to pieces
Find me where I first found you
Code blatently stolen from queen of codes, Sky!
Speaks with a thick Italian accent.
Force and magic can be used against Remi without permission.


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