See yourself through my eyes

The kiss against his cheek was...teasing. Though as Remi's pale eyes scanned Sam's face, he saw little of the raw desire beginning to flay away at the tenuous grasp he had on his willpower. There was just happiness there, and for a moment Remi wondered why it was he suddenly felt so insatiable. Why his smile wasn't as content and wide as Sam's seemed to be. However as Sam said he would be patient, the smile fell off Remi's lips all together and for a moment the sea-glass green of his stare seemed to flicker somehow. Remi didn't want to think of Loren in these moments, but given his history it wasn't so surprising that he did. But what he certainly did not want to think about, was the night Loren demanded he make a choice. The Launceleyn had been anything but patient. He'd been demanding and unyielding, hardly giving Remi a moment to think. And yet here was Sam, offering everything Remi had always been denied without even a moment's hesitation. Perhaps that was why he constantly found himself at a loss around the bookmaker; Remi was used to being the 'good one', but next to Sam, he was as dark as any midnight. Perhaps now he understood Jigano's views of him a little better. Listening to being thanked, Remi wanted to shake his head and laugh away Sam's appreciation. But something in him told him that the words were likely just as much for Sam as they were for him. As he finished speaking, Remi bit the inside of his lip. I can wait, Sam had said. But he'd also said that as long as Remi kept kissing him, maybe some things didn't matter quite as much. And so he did. Pulling Sam towards him, wanting to grab him by the collar but also not wanting to let him go, Remi tried to roll him by raising the hand beneath his neck, his fingers striding down Sam's arm and back. "Kiss me, Sam." Remi breathed, the pain a glorious and bright reminder that even though he didn't deserve this, Sam did. remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

He wasn't quite sure at first what was happening as Remi pulled him close again, but then there was a breathless request of kiss me and just for a moment, Sam forgot where he was. Without wasting a second he placed both hands on Remi's jaw and kissed him softly but firmly, more confident in the action this time now that he had done it before. Kissing was not something he was familiar with. His first kiss had been in the cave, his second only moments ago in this bed, so his experience was lacking; Sam knew that at some point your mouth was meant to open. Experimentally he parted his lips just a little and tilted his head, deepening the kiss. It was intoxicating, finally doing everything physical he'd only dreamed of for years, the upgrade ensuring he could feel it everywhere, in his lips and chest and... Sam pulled away, his fang lightly scraping across Remi's bottom lip but not quite breaking the skin. It was all a lot, and he knew if it was the right time he'd spend hours exploring just the many ways he could rest his fingers across Remi's jaw as he kissed him, but...he looked down at the wounded body beneath him. "Are you s-sure...?" He asked, late but wanting the confirmation nonetheless. "D-doesn't this...hurt?" Samuel I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All of these words

As Sam's lips parted, the alchemist wasted little time in investigating the newly revealed space with his tongue. The hand which had been in Sam's, rose (painfully) to tangle in the man's copper hair, pulling him down all the more (ow). With lips still gentle and soft, his tongue searched as he sucked in quick sips of air, not wanting to let Sam pull away but also far too close to unconsciousness at all times his his surgery to go without oxygen for long. But it all suddenly felt so easy and Remi just wanted to sink further into this mindless pleasure and just be with— —when Sam pulled away, the breath Remi had been holding in his lungs shuddered out, his chest heaving slightly as his tongue ran over the place Sam's fang had just been, his lips still parted in an unresolved O of want. With a silent question in his stare, Remi wondered idly if the sensation to bite was anything at all like the primitive drive he felt as a lion. Maybe Sam would know, having now been a lion himself, but Remi cared about the answer only tangentially just now. Hardly at all, actually. Yes it does, was the answer, but Remi hardly cared about that either. "If you..just—" With a wince, he tried to shift, the arm behind Sam wanting to encourage him to straddle Remi's waist. Hardly the most appropriate of positions for first-kisses-2.0, with Sam's knees astride Remi's hips he'd actually be able to breathe without Sam's body pressing against his ribs. If the bookmaker did so (or even if he just glanced in a southernly direction), whatever lingering doubts he might have had about whether or not Remi wanted him would certainly be put to bed. remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

Sam was able to distract himself satisfactorily enough from the smell of Remi's blood (which he very much noticed, had noticed the first time he stepped in) by kissing him. Something beneath his surface wanted badly to just bite into Remi's neck, rip the flesh and get at the blood that was tantalisingly sweet in his nose and mouth -- it would feel great for both of them, the thing in his soul insisted -- but he couldn't. But it was easy enough to pull himself away from that when Remi was urging him to straddle his waist. Sam had his concerns about Remi's health but the desire he felt was enough to let him trust Remi knew what he was doing. He gasped, a noise which turned into a quiet moan as he felt his own strained pants touch Remi's erection under the blanket. Two urges came to him (three, if you counted the still ever-present need to drink) - one to lean down and kiss Remi senseless, roll his hips against him and just take. The other was to look at the door and panic about someone coming in to see him trying to have...sex? A make out? With a still very hurt surgery patient. He did glance at the door, just once, but it was still closed and quiet as ever. Sam then moved down, careful to arch his body to not touch Remi's ribs. "Th-this is probably n..not very good for you." He whispered against his lips, then kissed him again, this time being much more bold with his own tongue, tangling his hands in Remi's hair. For the moment he kept his hips still despite the instinctual desire to push down. Samuel I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All of these words

As Sam moved, Remi had to do his best not to wince as the distribution of their weight caused the bed to shift, in turn causing his ribs to sing out angrily. Whatever mental resources he had directed towards worrying about his injuries however were immediately depleted as the length of Remi's arousal was ghosted against by Sam's shifting body. It was through far too many layers of fabric, but even so the alchemist sucked in a hasty breath as he looked up at Sam, wanting nothing more in that moment than to drag him down and feel the bookmaker against him all the places currently covered by his blanket. He hadn't been lying when he said the upgrade had not been for this...but the change in Sam was obvious, and not just because of the sudden tenting in his trousers. He could feel this too, or at least it certainly seemed like he could. And blissfully the alchemist's worries that Sam was merely acting out of some desire to please and not because he found this enjoyable, began to ease. With pale eyes scanning his face, Remi watched as Sam hazarded a glance towards the door, leaving Remi wondering if he had heard something there or if he was just losing his nerve. With a hasty and hard bite to the inside of his cheek, the alchemist tried to wrangle his desires back under some semblance of rationality, reminding himself that this was new for Sam, that the man was admittedly shy and cautious and—that's why it was such a surprise when instead of making an excuse or rolling away, Remi suddenly found his vision filled with just Sam as he leaned forward, his lips whispering a question Remi hardly cared about, against his own. Feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the restrictions of his injuries, Remi found himself wanting to arch his body upwards to meet Sam's, but couldn't. He couldn't pull Sam towards him, nor could he flip their positions as he so desperately wanted to do. Instead he felt caged inside of himself, a prisoner to the wounds he'd sustained saving and being saved.  "No—" Remi agreed, the word a half smile against Sam's mouth as one of Remi's hands shakily came to rest against the man's coppery hair. As Sam became more bold, Remi's lips and tongue and teeth became more insistent, no longer tentatively searching but instead seeming to drive towards some goal that could only be reached by the near constant contact of their lips together. The hand not tangled in Sam's hair came to rest against the curl of his hip, slithering between the fabric of his shirt to lay against bare skin. remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you Remi had been hurt?! He had been taken to the infirmary?! Oh no!! The news sent Phoebe into a near panic. Was he okay? How badly was he hurt? What had happened? Where had it happened? How had it happened? If it was a question an overly concerned parent or relative might ask, it was running through her brain at about 8,000 light-years a second (alright a gross over-exaggeration on the part of the narrator but you readers all get the point). Phoebe dropped all her plans for the day and immediately headed for the infirmary to check on him. Now, when Phoebe got a strong impulse or thought of what she was going to do, at least for a short period of time she was an unstoppable force. She marched herself into the infirmary with an unquestionable air of authority, and after finding out what room Remi was in, marched herself straight there. Had anyone told her someone was already in there. No. They either didn’t know themselves or were too taken aback by the direct nature of the usually meek and mild midwife to say so. Not today! Her best friend – as close to a brother as she had any more – was hurt! Nothing was going to stop her from making sure he was okay! ”Remi! I came as soon as I heard are you…” she said as she opened the door and took a few steps in. But she stopped dead in her tracks, her voice halting when wide brown eyes finally recognized just what was going on in Remi’s room…on Remi’s bed…with Sam…and they were…oh good golly Miss Molly! Phoebe turned a shade of red so dark it was almost unnatural. She spun around, hair whipping around her face. ”I’m sorry! I’m sorrysorrysorrysorryyyyy!” she squeaked as she hurried back out of the room and slammed the door closed. Mortified. She was absolutely mortified. Remi was going to be so mad at her! But…wasn’t he supposed to be hurt?! Her brows furrowed and she turned back towards the door. ”What are you two doing?! Remi is supposed to be healing!! Sam you get off him this instant and open this door!” she shouted at the door, her tone distinctly of motherly disapproval.

Sam softly laughed as Remi agreed, moving in to kiss him again regardless and lifting his hip into the hand on his skin. He was about to sit up and take his shirt off, figuring if they were getting this far he may as well-- Then suddenly the door opened and there was a flurry of noise as Phoebe came in then exploded into apologies. Immediately Sam panicked and shot up, but didn't get off Remi for fear of hurting him by doing it too quickly. After she'd left he didn't need her encouragement to get off, the interruption immediately having cracked whatever mood had made him think this was a good idea in the first place. Slowly he rolled off to the side then stood up at the side of the bed, pulling the blankets up over Remi. "...Um." He said, looking at the rather obvious tent in the sheets. With a moment of desperate quick thinking he grabbed a spare pillow from under the bed and gently laid it over Remi's waist. For his own situation, there was plenty of swift deflating occurring, but he still turned to push himself down further into his underwear before he went to open the door. With a distinctly embarrassed stare at the floor, he pulled it open. "I'm...u-um. Sorry, Ph-Phoebe, for that. Yo...you are q-quite right. Not the place." Samuel I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All of these words

Remi's thumb traced the line of Sam's hip, gently following where it hollowed. All the alchemist wanted to do was explore with his roaming fingers, to touch and caress now that Sam could finally feel it. Though his body was already anticipating what would occur at the conclusion of this exploration, Remi wanted to take his time, for Sam's sake. Still, the ascended would likely feel the urgency in the few meager movements that Remi was still capable of; the way the hand tangled in Sam's hair tried to draw him ever closer, and the nearly possessive and needy way the hand on his hip stretched and pressed. Remi could feel Sam begin to shift, and a groan of displeasure began to rise in the back of his throat just as Phoebe flung the door open. Her scattered apologies had far less of an effect on the alchemist than they did the bookmaker. Despite Sam's decision to remain astride Remi, suddenly sitting up bounced the bed enough that Remi's entire torso tensed defensively, and he hissed in a pained breath, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he breathed through the pain. Clenching his teeth as Sam rolled off, Remi exhaled a steady stream of air as his eyes fluttered open just in time to see Sam placing a pillow over his obvious erection. Frustrated as he might have been at the interruption, the alchemist could only laugh at Sam's attempts at subterfuge grinning at the ascended despite how obviously mortified the man looked. With a groan, Remi reached up for the handle he had made, Pulling himself into as much of a seating position as he could. "So I see you two know each other." Remi quipped with a boyish and unabashed smile as Sam let Phoebe back into the room. remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you When Sam opened the door he would see Phoebe standing there, arms crossed, brows furrowed in a disapproving look. ”Or the time. If he pulls his stitches it will hurt him worse and prolong his healing.” she chided. And unfortunately for the two love-birds (here it is important to note that the narrator wished to say the love bird and his tick, but it was terribly out of character), Phoebe knew what she was talking about when it came to healing time and incorporating intimacy. Of course, she was used to shooing men off their wives after giving birth, but the skill transferred to shooing Sam off Remi after being…hurt in some accident she still didn’t know what happened. When she stepped around Sam and back into the room, her cheeks reddened once more. A pillow on his lap? Really? She wasn’t that dumb, she could figure out why it was there. Some camouflage boys. ”Yes we know each other, though it seems you two are getting along quite swimmingly from the last time I heard.” she said with a little huff. ”Here I was, worried sick, dropped everything, thinking you’re on your deathbed, Remi, and instead you’re in here all hanky panky, having a grand old time of it just trying to make your injuries worse!” she said, chiding Remi now. Oh yeah. They were both getting the disappointed mom treatment today! ”Now what the heck happened that got you in here?” Phoebe said, waffling between being irritated that they had both let a moment get out of hand in a manner that could have cause Remi more harm and being very worried about Remi. ”What injuries do you have?”

Sam just nodded and let Phoebe chide him, guilt not hard to come by in himself. She was right. He had let his need to be wanted, to be desired, take over his concern for Remi. It had been selfish, even if Remi had encouraged him; one of them was severely injured and someone needed to be the adult. He quietly followed behind her, going to sit on the edge of Remi's bed just by his feet and place a distinctly calm and not at all sexual hand on his shin. It was just a little comfort, an I'm here. Despite his embarrassment, the words 'hanky panky' made the corners of his mouth turn up just a little with a glance toward Remi. She wasn't wrong, but he would have never called it that. Deciding Remi was well enough to answer Phoebe's questions (he had, after all, been well enough to make out with him) Sam stayed quiet, looking between them and waiting to see how Remi would describe their night. Samuel I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All of these words

Obvious? Oh sure. But did that mean Remi wanted Phoebe to see the contours of his penis through the relatively thin (and perhaps now not completely dry) white sheets of the bed? Glancing skeptically towards Sam, Remi tilted his head with silent puzzlement. His raised eyebrow seeming to say, last time she heard? So...not only did Sam and Phoebe know each other, but apparently Remi had been the topic of conversation last time? Excellent, he thought with a wry inward smile, shaking his head slightly. "This might still be my deathbed you know. All the more reason for Sam to be kissing me goodbye I'd say." Remi said, his sunny smile completely at odds with how displeased the midwife clearly was. Trying to sit himself up slightly more, this time ensuring he kept the sheets well around his waist, he raised a playful brow towards Phoebe. "Hanky panky mm?" He quipped with a grin. "I will have you know all sets of hands were above the sheets, thank you very much." Remi chided in a manner as similar as any brother. Glancing towards the foot of the bed where Sam had seated himself, Remi smiled boyishly towards him, a sparkle of mischief in his gaze before looking back to Phoebe. With a sigh, his smile faded. "We were in the woods and a mutant bear attacked us. Truthfully I would be dead if not for Sam. I tried to hold it off, but it was far stronger than I, even as a lion." Glancing down at his bandages sides which yes, were bleeding slightly more, the alchemist shrugged. "Isla would be able to tell you that better than I. I know my surgery took most of the night though." remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

phoebe Sleep and I shall soothe you, calm you, and annoint you ”Oh stop it, it is not your deathbed!” she huffed at Remi. ”And I know for a fact that he does not have to be on top of you to kiss you so…there’s that!” Phoebe didn’t appreciate that Remi was trying to be cutesy – he really could make his injuries worse – but she was glad that he didn’t seem angry at the intrusion. It had been an accident after all. She was just concerned about him! Phoebe rolled her eyes in a way that was well-trained – she did have three siblings growing up, eye-rolling was a necessary nonverbal communication skill. ”Uh-huh, cause hands are the only body part involved in hanky panky.” she said sarcastically. Yeah. She wasn’t buying that one. ”Regardless of if you want to call it hanky panky or not it was more than you should be doing right now. Isla would be real mad if she had caught you.” Not that Phoebe wasn’t mad but…she just wasn’t as good at being intimidating or scary. When Remi finally described what happened she frowned, her look of displeasure being fully replaced with concern. ”A mutant bear?! she said, her voice raising a bit. ”Remi!! You’re lucky your insides are still where they should be! You need to be more careful!” Her eyes caught sight of the bandages that were being bled through. Case and point, right there. Phoebe sighed and walked over to a small table where she knew Isla kept supplies from the last time she had been at the infirmary. Quickly she found more bandages and some salves, returning to Remi’s side. ”Let’s get these changes so Isla doesn’t suspect you doing more than you should be.” she said, moving to undo the bandages on his torso if he so allowed.

"Well you are probably the first person to say it is not." Remi quipped with a grin, but it was true too. Sam had acted like he had all but died, as had Devrum and Isla. However as Phoebe continued, now trying to lecture him about the finer points of kissing, Remi could only grin adoringly at her, as if encouraging her to explain just how she came to be such an expert on such things. "Well given that it is difficult to stand and how sore my sides are, that really was the best place for him." Remi replied without even a hint of embarassment. "Mmm." Remi agreed with a grave nod. Isla would be furious, that was certainly true. But...casting a hopeless glance towards Sam, silently pleading to somehow be saved from this, he turned back to Phoebe with a gently shrug. "I know." He agreed, colour blooming in his cheeks as he realized just how often he actually heard Jigano's criticisms from people he did consider his friends. Whatever excitement still lingered beneath the pillow had decidedly been squashed by this point, and the alchemist could only nod wearily beneath Phoebe's stare. "More careful?" He repeated, a bit surprised. Everyone did keep telling him that, but it was hardly his fault. Were they all just meant to stay inside now, never leave? The pair of them were hardly more than a few minutes into the Woodlands when the bear attacked. "We were being careful." He muttered, almost childishly as she moved to see his bandages. Knowing that she was more than trained, Remi nodded obediently enough. With a grimace, Remi allowed her to unwind the bandages from his side, wincing as the still-healing flesh and clotted blood were pulled away from the dried bandages. The area beneath was a horrific sight to behold; Isla wasn't kidding when she said it had been difficult and would be a mass of scars. There's hardly been enough skin left to stitch, and so the landscape of his torso and sides was now a bloody and grotesque smattering of muscle and skin. "Thanks Phoebe." He whispered gently, raising a hand to gently place it on her arm. "And it is good to see you. Thank you for coming." He added with a warm smile. remi I always forget that you can't read my mind

Sam's default setting in groups had always been to be quiet and listen, and it was no different here. He avoided looking at Phoebe and just offered Remi the occasional smile. (And an embarrassed frown as the best place for him was mentioned). He was about to jump to Remi's defense over him being careful, not really knowing what else they could have done, when he caught a glimpse of what was underneath the bandages. Right away, Sam had to blink back panicked tears. But he trusted Phoebe to do a good job so he tried to calm down before he spoke. "W...we were careful. It w-was...a f..freak accident. Remi was very br-brave and saved both of our lives. " Affectionately, he reached up to squeeze Remi's fingers, making sure to not touch his sides or get in Phoebe's way. Samuel I hear in my mind All these voices I hear in my mind All of these words