highlight of my lowlife
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
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Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#15
LOCKE

"Then stop doing it Maeve. No one is asking you to keep loving me. To keep caring. Hell, I'm sure everyone is telling you to stop. I am." It hurts and he hates the sick feeling that's welling up in his stomach but why can't she fucking listen to him for once. She gets so caught up in loving people who keep hurting her. "I just want to talk about how we can move forward. It's clear things have changed. They're not going to go back to the way they were. It's not possible." He's trying to move on and so should she.

She keeps saying he's not trying when he hasn't even been given the chance to. And he's not trying to be her lover, her husband, whatever. He just wants to help raise his kid. Because that's something he knows he can do, that he knows he can handle. Knows he has to handle. "Fine. Maeve. I want to help parent our kid, I want to be there for them. I want to be civil with you. I don't think us being together is a good idea right now and I don't expect you to wait for me to get my shit together but I do need to get my shit together. And we both know it's not fair to you for me to try and drag you down with me." No more telling her he wants her, no more telling her that he loves her. He doesn't think she'll understand what he means.

"Maeve. Maybe you won't stop but you have to move on. For me, for our kid, for yourself." He's not even upset anymore, he's just tired. He slumps further into himself, sighing softly. "I'm trying and I know you don't see that but I am. Trying to find honest work, a better place to live.. I know that's not what you want but it's what I can give right now. If that's not good enough for you, then just tell me. I'll leave. As much as I don't want to. I'm not going to sit around and be told I'm not trying or I don't want this when I do. When I am trying." He had originally been excited to tell her about his plans but now? When it's clear whatever he wants isn't going to be good enough because it doesn't come with a relationship? Nah.
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#16
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
A flip switches. All that anger and irritation and hurt turns into something numb. A feeling so cold that she can barely breathe. His words strike a nerve and her eyes drop. Aidon feels it and freezes ahead of her, head snapping up and eyes on her in an instant, concern trickling along their bond. Maeve doesn't feel it. She doesn't feel anything. Things have changed. Things have changed. Things have changed. There is a moment where she forgets how to breathe and it's preferable to the overwhelming apathy that's taken up residence instead.

It makes sense. All the things he's saying. Even though she doesn't fully register them. Just like she doesn't register the tears slipping down her cheeks or the way her heart shatters. Is it even beating anymore? "Okay." She doesn't realize she's said it, her voice foreign to her own ears, sounding like a distant mumble as her fingers twist into the sleeves of her sweater.

She does see it. She really does, but he's right. It isn't enough. She wants more. She wants the house on the hill and a white picket fence and him to come home to with their child waiting there for her. It was all she ever wanted and she was so close. So fucking close. Yet here it is, slipping through her fingers like grains of sand that she could never truly hold on to no matter how hard she tried. Had she asked for too much? Wanted too much? Maeve truly can't say anymore, but she's selfish and she can't let him go. Not entirely.

The Nightshade finds it in herself to speak, unsure if her words even make sense at this point, "It's enough." It has to be, doesn't it? There isn't another option. There isn't anything else she can ask for. Not when anything else would be too much. It's always too much, isn't it? She's always too much. "I won't keep you out of their life if you want to be involved. You can be there and help however you decide to."
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#17
LOCKE

She finally gives up, or at least gives up enough to agree with him for a moment. This isn't how he wanted things to go but it's too late to go back now and they both know it. Even if they did start dating again, would she ever really trust him? Would he ever trust himself? It's better this way and in time, she'll see it. He watches concern flood over the young dragon and he finally finds it in himself to turn to look at her. Just as small and withdrawn as he feels.

Every muscle in his body screams to lean towards her, to offer comfort, to offer something he's not allowed to give her anymore. He shifts but catches himself before he can lean towards her properly. There's another long pause as he watches her, struggling to find something to say but being unable to stand the silence. "The baby doing okay?" As much as he wants to push her away, he can't. As much as he says he's willing to leave, he's not. He's already working on things, trying to find ways to become stronger, to make himself better. She might not see it yet but hopefully she will.
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#18
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
Aidon doesn't stay away. He can't when he feels nothing from Maeve along their bond, his concern for her wellbeing overpowering any command she gave him before, sprinting towards where she's sitting frozen beside him. Her arms remain wrapped around her belly, shielding herself from any more hurt that might come her way, unable to bring herself to relax even as Aidon appears before her. He trills and rumbles in concern, nosing at her hand, huffing out warm breaths against her skin. Maeve doesn't move. She doesn't even flinch. His words reach her and she blinks, but other than that, she doesn't react besides to part her lips to speak.

"They're fine. A bit over half way through now. Unless something happens we're looking at the first two weeks of Deepfrost for a due date." She says softly, her voice distant to her own ears, a hand finally lifting to lay on top of Aidon's head after he nudges her again. The dragon lets out a sound that might be a whimper, looking between Maeve and Locke, orange eyes seeming to implore the Attuned to do something. Not understanding why he's simply sitting there.
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#19
LOCKE

He makes a soft noise, turning away from her to lean his head on his arms. "That's good. If yer gonna be born in Deepfrost, might as well do it in Torchline. 'Least you're not tits deep in snow." And you know, the whole.. monster thing. But they can worry about that another time. Except there's a dragon making noises and he has to turn back around again. He's never seen her this withdrawn before and it tugs at his heart, whatever is left of it.

Orange eyes meet hazel and Locke sighs softly. He reaches over with one hand and kind of awkwardly pats her arm. "Yer doing a good job." He doesn't know how to navigate this. Any of it. Their whatever it is they have now. "Bein' queen and stuff. Haven't heard a bad word about you. Think the people like having someone who's an actual Torcher as a leader. No offense to Aurelia of course." He doubts it helps but he can't give her what he used to. This is all he can do. Not that it matters.

"Was.. Thinking of opening up a bakery or something."
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#20
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
They'll almost have the same birthday. Her and her baby. It's a distant thought, barely even occuring to her, but it trails through her mind fleetingly. Does he even know her birthday? Did she ever even tell him? Maeve makes a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat, head dipping in a way that might be a nod, but it's truly hard to tell with how little she actually moves. "There are worse places, I suppose." She mumbles, thumb barely brushing across the top of Aidon's head, unaware of the way her bonded attempts to communicate with Locke.

It isn't until his hand finds her arm, making her start that she comes back to herself, blinking dazedly out at the ocean before her eyes slip to him instead. Dark brows knit together, "Hm? Maybe they do. I'm trying." Slender shoulders lift in a half shrug, lips pressing into a thin line as she caves in a bit more on herself, jade eyes finding the horizon once more.

"A bakery sounds nice. You'd be good at it."
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#21
LOCKE

None of this is right or going the way he wants. And he can't decide how to fix it. Or why he needs to fix it. Except deep down, he cares about her. Always has, likely always will. So with booze warming his belly and insanity in his brain, Locke twists, rolling onto his knees in front of her. Finally look at her face to face. He scoots forward, tilting her chin up so she has to look at him. Or he hopes she does.

"Let me be honest with you, Mae. I know this is gonna sound fucked up but I do want you. Badly. I want a family with you. Have since at least Flowerbirth. But I gotta be honest with you. I felt like I wanted too much, that I was gonna scare you away. So instead of letting you leave me, I made you. In a fucked up way, I was so scared of losing you that I chased you off. 'Cause Maeve, people like me are destined to die in gutters with a knife to our throats. But people like you? Greatness. I mean look at all Safrin has done for you in just a few seasons. You've made a name for yourself from nothing. Maybe I was a little scared of being in your shadow too." He takes a breath, shaking his head as he looks away, breaking whatever eye contact they may have.

"That said. I don't think I can trust myself right now. I don't think you trust me either. And I don't want that for either of us. So I'm going to get my shit together, work on myself, be there for our kid because I know I can do that right now. And who knows, maybe one day, we can trust me.. But I don't want you to wait. If you find someone else.. Okay? Promise me. Promise me you won't wait."
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#22
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
She's so lost to the world right now. Her own mind drawing her away from the here and now. It isn't until his fingers slip underneath her chin, cupping her jaw like she's made of glass, urging her to look up at him that she feels anything past the numbness. Her intake of breath is sharp, a shuddering thing that seems to die halfway through as red rimmed eyes meet his, holding his gaze as if it was a lifeline. In this moment it is. The only thing truly keeping her tethered is his touch and the way his hazel eyes bore into hers.

It's what allows her to listen. She hears everything he says, taking it all in and tucking bits away for herself even if she doesn't realize it, letting his confession act as a balm to her soul. A shaky hand comes up to hold his, covering the back of it, the sand just on the side of rough between her palm and his skin. When he breaks eye contact, her lashes flutter and instead she simply leans into him more, tears still damp on her cheeks. He's asking so much of her, asking that she makes a promise that she doesn't really want to make, but her mind goes to Aurelia for the briefest of moments. Even if there is fear there too. Fear that Aurelia will move on from her eventually, leave her behind as so many others have chosen to do, but if she has a chance at happiness he would want her to take it. That's what this promise means.

"I promise I won't wait." It's strained and whispered, voice barely there over the sound of crashing waves, but she vows it to him all the same. Maeve doesn't realize she moves until her arms are around his neck and she's all but thrown herself into his embrace. She buries her face against his chest, letting out a trembling sob, tears starting all over again. "I'm sorry, Locke... For everything. For- for pushing you and not always being honest and-" There is so much more she should apologize for. So many sins to lay at his feet, but they catch in her throat with her sobs instead as she collapses in his arms.
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#23
LOCKE

He's expecting a lot of different reactions but for her to throw her arms around him, that's unexpected. He's a little taken aback, stiffening for a moment before slowly wrapping his arms around her. There's a long pause after she speaks and he buries his face into her neck, stealing the comfort she gives. His fingers twist into her shirt, afraid he'll lose her again, even if she isn't his anymore. This all feels perverted but it's fine.

With the softest of kisses pressed into her hair, he leans back just a little, tilting her chin back up. "S'okay Mae. I kept stuff from you too. Kinda think.. We rushed this a bit.." He'd never really been in a relationship before her and he thinks maybe she hadn't really been in one either. They jumped a lot of guns getting here. Neither of them really knew what they wanted or needed from the other and it ended like this. "Am really excited about the kid. Know I haven't really been acting like it but I am. Bet they're gonna be cute. We're both pretty cute."
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#24
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
They’re too selfish to deny themselves this moment. Both of them taking from each other even though they shouldn’t anymore. It doesn’t matter because Maeve gives it freely. His arms wrapping around her feel like coming home and she melts into him, clinging just as tightly as he does to her, fingers twisting into the thick knit of his shirt to draw herself closer. The kiss pressed against the crown of her head soothes her despite the way her chest aches, feeling hollow and empty, a faint thud echoing where her heart is meant to be. He pulls away before she’s ready to, tilting her chin up once more, his touch featherlight and barely there as he urges her to meet his gaze.

They might have rushed it, but it doesn’t mean what they had wasn’t real. That it didn’t mean something. She wants to argue and push back, but she knows he’s right. They were so desperate for each other, to feel held and wanted, that they didn’t stop to think. A shame that they had to burn out like this. Even if there is still love between them. Even if he still holds a part of her heart. They aren’t good for each other. Not right now. Not like this.

”I hope they have your curls…” Maeve admits softly, fingers brushing through his hair without a second thought, letting the curly strands slip through them. ”They’ll be perfect no matter what, but… I would like that.” She doesn’t care if they look anything like her. Some people worry about that kind of thing, but Maeve just wants them to be healthy. With his curls and maybe his eyes and so many other things that haven’t even crossed her mind. ”Have.. Have you thought about names?” She asks softly, not bothering to pull away from him, instead shifting so that her back presses against his chest so that he might be able to place a hand on the swell of her belly if he wants.
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#25
LOCKE

The way she looks at him, the way her fingers card through his hair, it's all too much again. He gives her a shaky half-smile. "Just wait until you have to pick twigs out of it." It's true though. It's a bitch to take care of, especially when you're small. His hair was short for most of his life, this was maybe the longest it's ever been. "Mhm, they will be. Hell, they are." For all the fucked up history the pair of them have, this is kind of a fresh start. Their baby won't have the same struggles they will. New ones, sure, but at least he can be there for them.

She shifts in his arms, back pressing against his chest. For a moment he's not sure what to do, where to touch. The line of what is and isn't okay is so blurry now. Locke thought it would be easier but it's not. Oh. She asked him a question, didn't she? "Ah. No. Not really. Jus' kinda been callin' 'em Bug in my head. Don't know why." He doesn't even notice his arms slipping around her until his fingers meet warm skin. The attuned moves slowly, unsure as his hands slid under her shirt to press against the swell of her belly.

"What about you? Got something from one of those books you like to read?" He wonders if she ever finished the book he got her.
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#26
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
Everything is always too much. She doesn't know how to keep from being too much. She can't help reaching for him. Nor can she help her soft touches or gentle musings, but eventually she releases him to lay back against his chest instead. Maeve draws in a deep breath as his hands finally move to press against the swell of her belly, cradling her gently as she relaxes back against him, relaxing slowly despite everything. "They are. They always will be. Even with twigs in their hair and everything in between." She murmurs in agreement, letting her eyes drift closed as his breathing and the sound of the waves soothe her. She's aware that it won't last. This small moment of peace that's settled after the storm, but she'll take it for now.

Maeve huffs a soft laugh at the term of endearment he's come up for them. "I've been calling them my little star." She tells him softly, licking her lips, jade eyes scanning the horizon and not truly seeing anything. "If it's a boy I was thinking William or Edmund. For a girl I'm between Delilah and Evelynn." Maeve shifts slightly, turning to look at him the best she can from this angle, hoping that he likes them. At least one of them. It matters to her that he does. He deserves to have a say.
Maeve
Locke Moore
Mercenary

Age: 34 | Height: 6'2 | Race: Attuned | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 5 - Strg: 26 - Dext: 20 - Endr: 26 - Luck: 15 - Int:
Played by: Zombeikid Offline
Change author:
Posts: 831 | Total: 848
MP: 630
#27
LOCKE

He kind of laughs, leaning into her. It's too easy to slip back into old habits and he knows he needs to stop. This is going to end badly but he's touch starved and stupid. He keeps smoothing his hands over her belly, feeling the little kicks and movements the baby makes. "We'll see how you feel when you're picking flour out of their hair." He's clearly joking, kind of looking forward to the act actually.

He hums, "I like that, little star." It makes him think of Seren. He gets a bit of a sinking feeling in his stomach but brushes it off. Brighter things are being spoken of right now. "Yeah? I like Edmund I think. And Evelynn. Such fancy names for my kid." Loxley is kind of fancy name, isn't it? But Locke has never really been Loxley, has he? When she turns to look at him, he wrinkles up his nose at her, grinning. "S'kinda weird, isn't it? Having a kid?"
I'm motivated by the lack of doubt
I'm consecrated but I'm not devout
Maeve Ansel
the Nightshade
Madame

Age: 26 | Height: 5'4 | Race: Accepted | Nationality: Natural | Citizenship: Torchline
Level: 10 - Strg: 35 - Dext: 37 - Endr: 43 - Luck: 37 - Int: 1
AIDON - Mythical - Dragon (Fire Breath)
Played by: Artio Offline
Change author:
Posts: 2,404 | Total: 3,277
MP: 877
#28
"What a shame she's fucked in the head," they said.
They’re both touch starved and stupid. Neither of them willing to admit that they’re fucking themselves over by indulging in this contact. She just wants a little bit more. She just needs this a little longer. Maeve thrives on touch. It’s her entire job. Aside from leading Torchline. It’s how she makes her living. This is the longest she’s gone without that constant comfort. The last person to properly touch her was Jack aside from the few hugs received from Aurelia and Remi. None of it was enough.

The Nightshade draws in a soft breath, leaning more heavily against his chest, enjoying the way the calluses of his palms smooth over the round curve of her belly. Their baby squirms and kicks and presses against his touch, seeming to follow it wherever it goes, just as needy as their mother. ”I don’t care if I have to do it every day. I’ll do it happily because it’ll be them.” They’re worth anything and everything she has to go through. A small smile tugs at her lips and she lets her head drop against his shoulder.

”I do too. It just seems fitting to me.” This was her star. Their star. Safrin might have made the galaxies that swirled above them, but they made this. Their baby. Their star. ”I like those too. I just wanted them to have a name they would be proud of. My father never cared to remember mine. I didn’t have a real name until I picked one myself. I want them to love their name. To be proud of who they are.” She draws in a breath, willing the tight feeling in her chest to ease, eyes lifting to the sky as she exhales slowly. ”Yeah, it is, but I’m excited too.”

Maeve clears her throat, ”I saw Safrin again. I talked with her about wanting to protect them. She… She gave me another quest, but it’s much more complicated than the last. I need things from different types of people. A protector, illusionist, murderer, healer, and some others. I’ve gotten help with a few, but there is a lot left to do. One I don’t even know where to start with. I mean, I know I know people who’ve killed other people, but how do you just bring that up?” She’s rambling a bit, but it’s the one part of her quest that has her stumped.
Maeve


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